a/n: It's been a lot of fun and a lot of work going back through the episodes and doing all this. The first season is really shaky for Damon and Elena, so there isn't a lot of scenes of them together, but there are enough to show the connection between the two.

(Elena's POV)-Boarding House

My morning had been interesting already, talking to Isobel's high school friend. I needed to just sit down and tell someone all about it, someone that would understand. "Stefan?" I called, looking around his room.

"Better," Damon's voice caught my attention. "me." He walked toward me, half naked and very drunk.

"You look, um…"

"Dashing? Gorgeous? Irresistible?" He was right in my face, looking all of those things and smelling just as good. Except for his whiskey breath.

"Wrecked." I bent back, keeping the distance between us. "You look wrecked."

"No reason why." He shrugged, and I had to work very hard to keep my eyes up and on his face. "Do you know that I am one of Mystic Falls' most eligible bachelors?"

"Huh."

"Yep." He turned away, giving me an unjudged moment to admire the muscled lines of his back. It looked exactly like the back that should be scratched during sex, no doubt sex that he'd probably been having over and over with nameless women since what had happened in the tomb a few nights ago. Stefan had said that he'd been a little out of it.

"How are you doing?"

"Never better." He sighed, pulling on a shirt. "What can I do for you? I'm a barrel of favors today." I watched his reflection in the mirror as his fingers fumbled with the buttons. He was far worse than wrecked. "It's my newfound purpose, how can I help people?"

"I'm just meeting Stefan. We're going to the fundraiser."

He sighed, giving up and turning around. "Help a guy out will you? I can't get this."

I came around him, doing the buttons up. My fingers ached to touch him, knew just how easy it would be to 'accidently' brush against his skin. "So I found out who my birth mother is."

"Ugh, who cares." His less than appreciative response had my smile shrinking and my heart falling. "She left you," he said, our eyes connecting. "she sucks."

I looked up, seeing Stefan at the door. I went to him, thankful for the excuse to get away from Damon. His reaction had hurt, but he was in more pain and I couldn't slap him when he was already down. He groaned, sliding into his leather coat. "Ugh, I need a bigger jacket. Wow, you know an occasional sorority girl might, um, you know help fill you out a little bit."

I watched him go, wondering just what it was about him that made it impossible for me to hate him.

(Damon's POV)-The Grill

Little Miss 'I'm on a Mission' was back, and ran right into my on my way to the bathroom. "Whoa, easy there. Buy a ticket like everyone else." I smirked at my own joke, not noticing how upset she was at first, then pretending not to care.

"Did you enjoy that?" she was practically snarling, a sight I'd seen before but wasn't entirely used to. "Rubbing it in to Alaric Saltzman?"

"What?" If there was one thing I did not enjoy, it was being confused. It was normally the very reason I usually listened when she talked, but the last few days had all been a blur and if there was something she was upset about, I'd missed it.

"Just as I was starting to think there was something redeemable about you."

"Elena." Stefan's tone was warning from behind me, but she seemed to ignore it.

"Am I missing something here?" I asked, looking between them.

"Did I forget to mention earlier when we were talking about my birth mother, the one that gave me up?"

"Mhmm?"

"Her name was Isobel." She glared at me and my blood turned cold as I realized just why she was so angry. "Go ahead, reminisce about how you killed her."

She brushed past me, leaving an entirely new sick feeling in my stomach. It felt shockingly like guilt, something I hadn't felt in a long time.

(Elena's POV)- Gilbert House

I heard the knock at the door, running to it before Jeremy could move from the kitchen table. I knew it would be Damon on the other side, but I wasn't fully relieved until I saw his face once I opened the door. It wasn't that I didn't want to see Stefan after what happened last night, I just…well I guess I just didn't want to see Stefan. He wasn't the Stefan I knew, the one I loved. Last night, the look on his face had scared me, shocked me. The lust in his eyes had been of an entirely different kind, one I had never seen before but was smart enough to realize what it meant. He wanted me, or rather my blood and he'd wanted it badly. Whether it was love or fear that had helped him throw himself away from me didn't matter, what mattered was how long he would be able to control himself and if I had to be afraid to be alone with him. "Oh good," I sighed, taking in the sight of Damon in the late morning light. There was a faint glow to the ends of his hair, the scent of his cologne already tickling my nose. "you're here."

"You ask I come." He smirked faintly, stepping into the house, not waiting for an invitation probably just to prove on some level that he didn't need one. "I'm easy like that." I closed the door behind him, my finger pressed to my lips. I didn't need Jeremy hearing any of his nonsense. My brothers eyes glanced up, but held no interest. I realized my hand was wrapped around Damon's arm and let go, stepping away toward the stairs. "No Elena," Damon called loudly, clearly for Jeremy's benefit. "I will not go to your bedroom with you."

I rolled my eyes, reaching for his arm and dragging him up the stairs. Did he always have to be so damn annoying? And how could I honestly bring myself to stand him after all he had done? Yes, we'd bonded over saving Stefan, yes we'd shared a sizzling moment in the rain…but he'd killed my mother. He'd…he was Damon Salvatore and he was infuriating. That was what I had to focus on. When we reached the landing, he needed no more guidance and opened the door by himself as if he had been in my bedroom a hundred times. The feeling unnerved me a little, his next comment made my hands itch to slap him. "Ah, just like I remembered."

I glared at the back of his head, knowing there was a slap worthy smirk curling his lips. "Stop messing around."

I closed the door, turning to find him jumping onto my bed, Teddy in his arms. Great, now my pillows would smell like him, and my blanket, and my Teddy.

"Did you know that your uncle's been kicking it with the Founder's Council?" he asked, partly teasing, partly clearly annoyed, one arm behind his head as he got quite comfortable on my mattress. Less than 48 hours in town and Uncle John already had more people on his hate list.

"What?"

"Yep." He answered, looking around.

"Perfect, we'll just add it to the growing list of how everything is falling apart." I tried to keep my tone light, but the sarcasm dripped out anyway. My heart sped up a little when his eyes settled on the broken lamp; thankfully the only casualty of Stefan's little freak out.

"What happened right there?" he asked, one eye squinting as he used Teddy's arm to point at the 'crime scene'.

I glanced over, wondering if I should lie, if I could lie and make it convincing. But I'd asked him over here to help me and if he was going to do that, he needed to know what was going on with his brother. "Nothing." I tried, but the look on his face told me he knew I was full of shit. I could hardly say; 'Well last night Stefan and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, and when I got a little dominant his control snapped and he wanted to drain me.' Hardly the conversation starter that would keep his temper level. "Look Damon, I'm worried about Stefan." If I hadn't been so upset, it would have been hard to keep a straight face. Seeing big, bad Damon Salvatore on my bed with my Teddy, fiddling with his furry arms as if he was waving at me was almost comical. I would not admit cute…no Damon Salvatore could never be cute…could he? "He says that everything is okay, but he's clearly struggling. How long is it going to take before he's back to normal?"

Damon shrugged. "A few days, give or take."

"It's a been a few days." I reminded him, getting impatient at his lack of interest.

"Give then." He looked almost annoyed with me. "What's the big deal?"

I watched as he rose from the bed, glaring for a moment at the dirt his black boots had left on my blanket. Teddy was shoved against my chest as Damon moved past me. "He's not himself Damon."

I tossed the poor, nearly molested bear back on the bed, apologizing to my childhood toy inwardly. "Well," Damon said as he rustled through the drop drawer of my bureau. "maybe his problem is he's spent too long not being himself." I watched as he pulled out a simple, almost embarrassingly innocent bra and made a pleased sound about it. At least he hadn't found the red lace one Caroline had bought me for my birthday.

I grabbed it from him, shoving it back in the drawer and shutting it before he could find anything else. "Please don't make me sorry for asking you."

Like a bored five year old, he reached out to the mirror and grabbed a photo. Could he not just be still and listen? Did he always have to be doing something with his hands? "It is what it is Elena."

"Hey." I tried to reach for it, but he turned, blocking my hands even as I moved around him.

"The Stefan you know was 'Good Behavior Stefan'. 'Rein-it-in-Stefan', 'Fight Against His Nature to an Annoyingly Obsessive Level Stefan'." He rolled his eyes, not like he was disgusted with his brother, but as if he was trying to pretend he wasn't as worried as I was. I moved forward slowly, my eyes stayed locked with his, but my fingers were locked on their target of the photo he was still holding."But if you think there's not another part to this, then you…have not been paying attention." I grabbed onto the picture, ignoring the teasing sound he made with his tongue. Was he really chastising me at a time like this?

"He is not you." I said, cut and dry. It was meant to insult him, to keep the barrier between us up even as his charm fought it down. It was so unfair he could frustrate me, piss me off and tempt me all at the same time. "Not even close."

I turned away to restore the photo to its place on the mirror. I could feel his eyes boring into my back, probably wondering what bra I was wearing right now. "Well he doesn't want to be me;" I heard him moving closer, knew he could hear the beats of my heart move just a little bit faster. "but that doesn't mean that deep down, he's not." We were face to face now, our eyes battling. Did he see the insecurity in my eyes? The worry that perhaps he was right after all.

I heard the little 'mhmm' slip out as he smirked, knowing that he'd once this battle, at least for the moment. I didn't stop him from leaving, and he didn't bother to try and stay. When my door was closed behind him and I was sure he was far enough way not to hear me, I let out a growl and threw myself on the bed, squashing Teddy beneath me. With a grunt, I pulled the bear out and look him in his little black eyes. His sewn mouth used to smile, but now he seemed to almost be smirking. I groaned, burying my face in a pillow, only to inhale Damon's scent. In a instant I was up off the bed, as so were the blankets, pillows and sheets. I couldn't stand the thought of putting poor Teddy through the horror of the washing machine after what he'd already been through so he got to stay. I tossed everything in and added a healthy amount of fabric softner, hoping it would erase any trace of Damon Salvatore.

Damon's POV- Lockwood Mansion

As the bartender handed me a drink, I heard the sudden change in the music. It wasn't something I would have chosen to dance to, especially if Elena was the one I wanted to dance with, but it was better than the riff raff playing before. She stood there, watching as Stefan pulled her ex-boyfriends mom onto the floor. Awkward didn't even begin to cover the description of this town. Slowly, and carefully I sauntered over to her, wondering just what my opening line should be. This morning we'd ended on normally level terms and she'd seemed to have let the whole 'Isobel thing' go, for at least the moment. No doubt I would find that little indiscretion biting me in the ass again though. "Have I entered an alternate universe where Stefan is fun?"

She glanced up at me, her face almost blank of any emotion. At least she was blatantly disappointed to find me at her side. "Is he gonna be okay?"

"Eventually." I watched baby brother, almost happy he was having a little fun. Brooding Stefan got so…obnoxious sometimes. What I wouldn't give to have some fun with him. We would make a great team if he would only give into his nature. After all, wasn't that what he'd promised me all those many, many nights ago? That it would be us against the world? Now who was the liar? "One way or another."

The night went on, and with one little brother being an issue came another. Wasn't it bad enough I had to worry about mine falling off the wagon and ripping off everyone's head in town? Now I had to worry about little Gilbert asking too many questions and poking too many holes in graves I'd apparently not dug deep enough. I needed a drink, another much, much stronger one than the now empty glass I'd just shared with Liz. If it wasn't one Gilbert causing a problem in my life, it was another. I was losing sleep over Elena, patience over Jeremy and now I might be getting chased out of town by the new and infuriating Uncle John. Ugh, just the thought of the 'Jackass' had my skin crawling. And I'd been being so good lately too. "Bourbon." I nodded, taking the fresh glass as Elena sauntered up behind me.

Did she always saunter, or was it just recently? "Have you noticed what your brother's been up to tonight?"

"No, I've been too preoccupied with yours." She looked at me, slightly confused. "Jeremy's been asking questions about Vicki Donovan's death."

She shook her head, apparently out of room in her life for any more drama. Poor little girl, about to get another problem added to the list. "He knows her death was ruled an overdose."

"Really?" I lowered my tone a few notches, doing my best at imitating a prepubescent teen. "Oh but Sherriff, somebody buried her. Who would do that? I know, I know." I glared at her, back to myself. "Me! I mean I could compel him, but he's wearing vervain."

"No, I don't want you to compel him."

"If he keeps asking questions…"

"Damon, no. I'm serious. I'm not gonna do that to him again. I'll handle it."

I turned away, knowing there was no arguing with her today. She'd won the first battle this morning, and she was going to win this one too. My eyes settled on the vase of flowers, my fingers working almost on their own as they reached out and plucked one of the stems from the bundle. The petals were red, not quite blood red. I bent to smell them, comparing the scent to her perfume. It wasn't even close to as sweet or tempting. "Okay." I sighed, holding it out to her and sliding slightly closer. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

She took the rose from me, surprising me. I walked away, giving her time to adjust to the new ideas swimming around in her mind. At the doorway I stopped, looking back at her. She put the petals up to her nose, breathing in the scent. I ached to know what she was thinking, what she feeling. As if coming out of a shock she stood straight, looking around to see if anyone was watching her. Had she been thinking about me? Just how often did she think about me? I watched as she slipped the rose into her purse and disappeared into the crowd, probably in search of Stefan.

Elena's POV- Miss Mystic Falls

I jumped, my heart in my throat when I spotted Damon's reflection in the mirror. Would he have continued to just stand there as I changed into my gown? The dark black of his suit and tie brought out the startling blue of his eyes even more than I remembered, or could it have been the glint of my blue silk reflecting in them? "Hey, you can't be in here."

"We need to talk." He didn't sound pleased and I felt like this was a conversation I should be sitting down for, and one that would take longer than a few minutes.

"Does it have to be right now?" I asked, waving my dress slightly as a hint. Could we not have one day, one single afternoon even that didn't involve the end of the world?

He sighed, moving forward. It was a familiar move, and one that I often tried to counter. He was always trying to get in my bubble. Personal space meant nothing to Damon Salvatore. "Normally I would have a completely different outlook on what I'm about to tell you but since it could really inconvience me…I'll squeal."

I wasn't sure if he was trying to be funny or if his 'holier than thou' routine was just so natural to him by now that he hardly noticed he was doing it. Either way I kind of wanted to slap him. "What are you talking about?"

My smile faded the second the words left his lips. "Stefan's still drinking human blood."

At first I didn't really comprehend what he meant, partly because it was such a shock. Stefan had lied? I couldn't believe it was possible…but Damon said it so matter of factly it just had to be true. What was wrong with me? Doubting the honest brother and believing the lying one? "What?"

"Yeah." He shrugged slightly, looking a little lost for the moment. "A month ago, I would've rejoiced but with the Council back on the alert it is not a good time for Stefan to fly off the handle."

I knew that there was more to the story than they were both telling me. There was an underlying fear both brothers had for an off the wagon Stefan. Could the kind hearted man I knew, that I loved really be that bad on human blood? I mean, Damon was…well Damon, and he drank all the time. How could Stefan be any different, any worse? "I know he's been a little edgy, but he said that was normal."

Damon wasn't going to tell me everything, and I knew that; but he would tell me enough to scare me. After all, a little fear was healthy if one was to survive. I just couldn't imagine being afraid of Stefan. Damon was the one I was supposed to be afraid of, but right now he was the most stable thing in my life, which told me how truly messed up everything was. "He has a fridge of stolen blood-bank contraband in the house."

I was right, this was a conversation I would have to sit down for. My knees threatened to buckle beneath me so I moved to the brown satin couch before I ended up on the floor. "Oh my God."

Damon turned, following me. I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to comfort me, but we both knew there was no time for that. Stefan could be feeding right now, and I had a dress to put on, a pointless ceremony to attend. "He has no idea what normal is, his entire existence isn't normal." I looked up at him, still hoping that this was all just a joke, another one of Damon's lies. It wasn't and that made me a little sick. "Normal to a vampire is drinking human blood, but he's spent all this time fighting it, when he should have been learning to control it. And now it's controlling him instead."

I shook my head. "I can't believe this, I mean…it's Stefan that we're talking about here."

"Stefan on human blood, Elena. He'll do anything, he'll say anything…because he's not gonna want to stop. Trust me."

And that is what scared me most of all.

Damon's POV- Miss Mystic Falls

I watched from my place with the other men as Caroline came down the stairs in green silk. She looked amazing, like a perfect Malibu Barbie; minus the Malibu part. I'd heard her and Elena's conversation up on the landing, could see that Stefan was nowhere in sight. "Miss Elena Gilbert, escorted by Mr. Stefan Salvatore."

George Lockwood stepped back and applause sounded as all eyes turned up to the stairs including mine. I watched Elena take a deep breath in and try to force a smile on her face. She was brave, so brave and yet terrified at the same time. And even more so, she was beautiful. I'd seen Katherine come down these same stairs on more than one occasion looking an entirely different kind of beautiful, but the same Petrova enchantment was there and I found myself wishing I was the one that would be waiting for her as she stepped down. Stefan still didn't appear, and I could see the worry in her eyes, the anxious panic that was ruining her pretty features. I would not let my brother ruin this moment for her. In a quick, smooth move I slid over and stepped into Stefan's place. Our eyes connected and her lips quirked up in a smile just slightly.

I would not read into that, not right now. She stepped down onto the landing. "Where's Stefan?" she whispered.

"I don't know." I whispered back, holding out my hand for her. She took it smoothly as if we'd rehearsed this a thousand times.

I could feel everyone's eyes on us, on me. They were wondering where Stefan was, what I was doing with her and what it all meant that we'd been thrown together. We stepped out onto the porch, the sunlight shining in broken patterns over the freshly painted white wood. The air smelled clean and fresh, and flowery thanks to her scent. I guided her into place beside Caroline and stepped into the spot where Stefan was supposed to be standing. Thankfully, I knew this dance and took a moment to thank the Mystic Falls Council for keeping everything traditional. Everyone leaned forward, bowing to their partner in an act of sacrifice. Dances like this were beautiful, and startilingly intimate for the lack of touching that went on with them. The power to caress, to communicate want and need with only a person's eyes was not a talent that everyone had, but I knew that we could pull it off.

We'd done it almost every time we looked at each other. "What are we gonna do?" she asked, leaning close to me.

"Right now we just have to get through this." She nodded, stepping back and holding her back straight.

Everyone's eyes were still on us, but she didn't seem to notice, or she really didn't care. The music picked up slightly as our hands rose palm to palm, a good few inches between them still. Of course, we'd both had our training, but the synchrony of our bodies was perfect. She stepped, I stepped. Around once, back in place and then exactly the same only opposite hands, opposite direction. The flashbacks to Katherine were almost impossible to miss, but I did my best to keep thoughts of her at bay. This was Elena I was dancing with, Elena I was connecting with and I wasn't sure I'd ever seen her look more beautiful. I couldn't help smiling as she looked at me, her expression not exactly amused but…something. She was thinking…something, and for once it was about me. I could tell, at least that she was completely focused on me, on us and this moment.

Back in place, and this time both our palms were out, turning in the same direction as the first circle. Our eyes flirted, they battled and I wondered if she could see all the images my mind was playing in them. It was useful she couldn't read my mind, for if she could I'm sure she would have slapped me. My thoughts were far from demeaning, but they were intimate. One more time back in place, and then we stepped together, breaking tradition and joining hold. Her lean body fit tightly against mine, the cool silk fabric of her dress warm in the places it touched her, her skin even warmer where she touched me. I could feel how nervous she was, the slight tremor in her body as we settled into each others arms. Her arm was on my shoulder, the pressure barely even there at first.

I guided her along the floor, our steps sure and perfect. How was it even possible that we were this aware of each other? Finally, I got a smile out of her. A small, perfect smile. I wasn't sure I'd ever seen a real one before, and God it made her look even more beautiful. My fingers tightened on her waist as hers pressed firmer on my shoulder. We could have danced for a minute or a year and it would never have been long enough. The song was ending though, and we moved back to the spot where we'd started. Everyone moved back, and then she was hesitantly releasing her hold on me, moving back beside Caroline. The smile was still on her lips, and for once I was the one that put it there.

Elena's POV- Miss Mystic Falls

Caroline stepped off stage to be congratulated by everyone and I sighed in relief. Thank God they hadn't chosen me. My eyes searched for Damon in the crowd, relieved to find him off against the back wall. He'd disappeared almost immediately after our dance. That dance…it had been…was magical a big enough word? As I moved toward him, I could see in his face that what we'd just shared was the last thing on his mind and I guiltily pushed it back as he had. I went to him, his fingers wrapping around my arm. Normally I flinched or jumped at his touch, but now I was used to it, was comforted by the feel of his skin on mine. "What is it?" I asked as he pulled me into a darker section of the hall. "Did you find him?"

The smile he'd had on his face while we were dancing was gone. That Damon was gone, only to be replaced by the worried, concerned Damon I was not yet completely used to. "There were signs of a struggle in the upstairs bathroom. There was blood, and that Amber girl is missing."

I felt sick again, that dizzy sick I felt when Stefan and I had been arguing upstairs. "Oh my God." I remembered how upset he'd been. "No, he wouldn't hurt her. He won't."

Was I trying to convince Damon, or myself? He shook his head, trying to keep me calm. "Let's just go find him okay? Let's get your coat. Come on."

Once we were outside, the cool night air stung my face and eyes. How had it gotten dark so quickly? Had dinner really taken that long? I heard the screams first, then the low growls and took of running, Damon right behind me. I could feel the spike heels of my shoes digging into the dirt, threatening to trip me as I hugged my coat closer. "Stefan!" I called out, hoping my voice would be enough to bring him out of this, whatever this was.

"Stefan." Damon stepped forward, in front of me as if he was keeping me from Stefan's line of sight. It was his brother's voice he responded to. "Come on, get control of it. Come on." He sounded like a father tempting a child away from a fire. "It's okay, come on." I barely recognized him like this. His face terrified me and I wanted to slink away. There was blood dripping from his lips, his eyes red with lust as he fought to control his hunger. Possibly even fought to keep from lunging over his brother for my blood. I shivered even more violently in my coat, the coldness now in my veins and I realized just what kind of monster Damon had been trying to warn me about. What Stefan had been trying to protect me from. Himself. "Breath through it man." Damon inched closer, his arms out to protect me, to grab Stefan if he tried to run for it but it ended up being Damon that was thrown through the air.

I watched as Stefan turned to face him, growling like an animal; not even aware of what he'd just done to his brother. "Stefan, stop it." I cried out, but he didn't hear me. Didn't even see me.

I saw the battle stance Damon took on as Stefan moved towards him, but then he was crying out in pain, his hands cradling his head. I looked back to see Bonnie, her gaze locked on Stefan and I knew it was her doing. When she stopped, Stefan silenced apparently coming out of his haze. He looked down at Amber's body, at me, his brother. There was horror in his eyes, guilt but they were still red. He was still hungry. I wanted to reach out to him, but then again, I really didn't. "Stefan, it's okay." Damon's voice was soft again but Stefan just turned and ran. He was gone, but I knew I would never be able to forget the sight of this side of Stefan. Not even if he never drank a drop of human blood again, the damage he'd done tonight would be impossible for me forgive.

Damon's POV- Boarding House

I waited on the stairs, listening to Stefan scream at Elena. It took all my self control not to rush into the room when I heard him slam her against the wall. Her heart rate exploded in her chest as fear shot into her blood stream. He was out of control, and he could easily kill her in a moment. "You're gonna be okay." I heard her whisper, and then a moment later Stefan collapsed on the ground.

I came out of the shadows, seeing the vervain dart sticking out of his side. I looked from it to her, seeing the fear in her eyes. "Are you sure about this?"

"I'm sure." She nodded.

I bent down, lifting my brother into my arms and carrying him downstairs. The cell next to the vervain storage was empty and I placed him in it, making sure the lock was good enough to hold him there. She stood with her back tight against the wall, looking almost blankly at the cell door. "There's no guarantee this will work." I told her, wanting to be honest. Wanting to prepare her for the probable, possible worst.

"It has to."

"Coming?" I asked and she shook her head.

"I'm gonna stay here." I watched her sink to the ground and battled within myself. It took only a moment for me to decide and I sat too. We didn't speak, and we barely moved. I watched her off and on for the next few hours, keeping my thoughts to myself. When she finally fell asleep I stood once more and carried her upstairs. I could have taken her home, or even to Stefan's room but instead I laid her on the couch and poured myself a drink. The firelight played over her face and I took a seat in the arm chair across from her. She'd seen things tonight I'd never wanted her to see, things she would never forget. I knew she would probably have nightmares, and if she did I would be there to tell her everything was going to be okay.

Even if I didn't believe it myself.

a/n: I truly believe that the moment their eyes connected as Elena walked down the stairs was the defining moment for Delena. If Stefan had been there, if he'd been standing there waiting for her then the connection between our favorite couple wouldn't have been this strong. Elena wouldn't know just how much Damon cared for her. After all it wasn't the first time that he saved her, but it was one of the most important. Sorry it took so long for this chapter to be posted. More to come.