Author's Note: Ah yes, it's been a long time since the last update. Approximately 3 months ago, actually. The reason why the hiatus went for as long as it did was because I wanted to finish up The Normals and Diary of a Psychopath before I worked on anything else. Unfortunately, I clearly got distracted, considering that I wrote seven one-shots and started four different stories during that time (also I updated OFF so that counts I guess). Additionally, after some consulting with beta readers (major thanks to camisforcamera and Plasmatroopa), I chose to add more to the chapter; the result ended up being double the length of the original chapter. Yep. Hope it's worth it.
As for those four stories, I had to cancel two of them: Luigi's Grand Adventure (Mario) and How to Cure a Bad Cartoon (Johnny Test). I'm already stretching myself with all these stories, so I decided to just cancel the first story; if I had put it on hiatus, who knows when I would have updated it, since I'm clearly terrible at keeping schedules. Also, you don't want to know the case with the second one. You really don't. I blame myself for the resulting fiasco.
But hey, let's get this started! I apologize if this chapter is a bit filler-y. Rest assured, even if you do, the next chapter will have way more plot progress!
Chapter 5: An Ungrand Escape
Falco Lombardi marched down the hallway, Mewtwo occasionally prodding him along if he slowed down. Low hanging lights illuminated the hallways of the jail, revealing other inmates. They looked at Falco with jealously, desperately wishing to be in the position he's in.
"Lombardi!" A scarred man with a tattoo saying 'Grado' on his shoulder ran up to the bars. "You realize that as soon as you stop being valuable yer dead, right?"
"Don't frighten my guest." Mewtwo said boldly. His eyes glowed and the man was suddenly thrown against the back wall of his cell.
"Arghh…" as if signing his will, he spit toward the Pokémon. "You don't scare me, cat! I have the might of Grado behind m-"
He was unceremoniously tossed into another wall, rendering him unconscious - at the very least. "That's enough out of you." Even though the man couldn't hear him, Mewtwo added, "Besides, your country isn't much of a force to reckon with." He turned to look at the other prisoners, some of whom were secluding themselves further in their cells, making themselves less threatening.
"F-Falco." a Waddle Dee inside one of the cells pleaded quietly. "Help, I… help. I am very. Very afraid. Help. Scared."
Falco shook his head. "Look buddy, I'd like to help, but…" he held out his handcuffed hands, a dead serious look on his face.
The Waddle Dee didn't seem to care. "Help me. Help me. Help m-" He was psychically thrown too, a comical "plop" noise accompanying his face slamming into a wall.
"That's enough." Mewtwo cleared his throat. "If anyone else bothers us on our way out, you'll all be sent to Stove Canyon." All clamour was immediately silenced. With that, the villain continued to lead Falco down the hall. "So… have you reconsidered our offer?"
"Yes." Falco answered. "I've changed from not joining you in a hundred years to not joining you in a thousand years." He grinned, but quickly lost it when Mewtwo stomped on his foot.
"Very amusing, Lombardi."
"True though."
Tired eyes, crazy eyes, and dead eyes watched as they reached the far end of the prison floor, where the lift was located. As they went inside, Mewtwo said, "You're a fool, for not taking this job." He closed the doors, keeping his questioning eyes on Falco. "Wouldn't you rather live in luxury than suffer down here?"
"I'd rather be anywhere else other than with you assholes."
Mewtwo sighed, hitting the button that started the lift. As they started to ascend, Mewtwo muttered, "If it were up to me, I would have executed you immediately, you know." He glared fiercely at his captive. "To think, I get shafted in the Brawl tournament while you stay - while yet another Fox clone joins the tournament."
"That's how life works, traitor."
It seemed that the Pokémon was trying to restrain himself from attacking Falco fatally. After he handled trying to keep his rage in check, Mewtwo continued on with his bribe attempts. "Look, the only reason that you're still alive is because the boss needs somebody who can command airships - so he needs an experienced pilot, since everybody else is a bunch of idiots, and Ridley's competence can only stretch so far. Also, we clearly haven't found anybody better yet; otherwise, you'd be lying in the dirt."
"…I know that? Why are you explaining this to me again?" Falco questioned with a furrowed eyebrow.
"It's for their benefit." Mewtwo said, pointing upwards.
It took Falco and I a few moments to realize that he was referring to you readers. Thank you for breaking the fourth wall that I've been carefully maintaining so far, jerkface.
"Is that really the best insult you can offer?"
…!
"You're a writer, I'm sure you can think of a creative insult."
…Get on with the story. …I know what you're going to say Mewtwo, and the answer is no. Don't reveal whatever expositional stuff you had left to talk about yet, I'm saving it for later.
"Oh fine."
With that, the slow elevator ride continued. While Mewtwo impatiently tapped his foot, Falco watched as gases flowed in through the elevator door crack - a purple gas and a red one. The purple one, the creative energies of Subspace floated inside, glowing like the hopes for escape inside of Falco's heart - then, the red gas, Giygas' power, covered up the purple one, diluting its effects and popping Falco's hopes like a balloon held by a sad child.
Falco frowned - Giygas' powers was the only thing keeping him from escaping. The conqueror covered the palace and the surrounding areas (in a 3 mile radius) with his gas, to make sure that nobody takes advantage of Subspace's power and tries to overthrow him.
The Pokémon stopped when the elevator dinged, signaling that they reached their destination. He motioned to Falco to follow him down the hallway. "Now, you're going to be serving at a dinner party the others and I are having." He paused. "It's so that we can bond."
"Do I care?"
"Probably not. However, if the opulence and food tempts you enough, you soon will." Mewtwo said. Falco looked around the halls, looking at the beauty and intricacy, which his captors use to show off to him how rich and powerful they are in an effort to get him to join.
All Falco wanted to do was spit on everything.
He was led to a room adjacent to one with a giant foreboding door. "Remember, you are being watched." He gestured toward a security camera on the ceiling. "If you make an escape attempt, steal a bit of food, anything… we will know." He unlocked Falco's handcuffs with his telekinetic powers. "Remember, if you ever feel like changing sides, we'll be here." And with that, he shoved Falco through the door.
As Falco forcibly entered the kitchen, he was assaulted by smells, such wonderful smells. Many varieties of delicious food was prepared, set on plates, while more was being cooked. The food was what tempted Falco the most - even though he was treated better than the other prisoners, he was still stuck with eating gruel. He salivated. He really wanted to pinch a bit of food, but he could see a security camera in the corner, looking at him and the electric collar that would be activated the moment he pulled anything. He glanced behind himself. Mewtwo was looking at him expectantly waiting for him to break. Falco gritted his teeth and walked ahead, resisting the delicacies.
He looked around at the other people in the kitchen; they consisted of: Primids, other prisoners with electric collars around their necks, or volunteers doing it out of their own free will (these people were likely insane). "You there!" A Toad shouted at him, pointing his finger accusingly. "Why do we exist?"
"I - I don't know…" Falco stammered, surprised by this sudden question.
"Exactly. Why do we exist, why do we bother existing, what's the point of us, what is…" the short person murmured psychotically before composing himself. "Are you a waiter?"
Falco shrugged. "I guess so."
"Good!" The Toad shoved a platter filled with miniature sandwiches appetizers (consisting of ham and cheese that made Falco cry) into his hands. "Serve these! …Try to figure out the meaning of existence while you're at it. I am very scared and confused, why do we breathe…"
Falco got away from him as quick as possible, going through a door that lead to the adjacent room.
The long conference table was split into several smaller tables, with elegant white tablecloths covering them. Falco narrowed his eyes at his enemies… who were standing around, uneasily talking to each other. He spotted most of Giygas' underlings there, but he also saw the underlings' underlings (Pig Masks, Boos, etc.) and a few of their friends - Falco could see Petey Piranha chugging down a bowl of fruit punch, to the cheers of several people.
Another waiter shoved him on the way into the room. Falco sighed and decided to do his job, walking around and offering the appetizers on his platter. While doing so, he looked around for a chance to escape; there were only two doors in plain sight, which were covered by cameras. He'd receive several volts for his trouble if he tried to run through the exit - he would have to find a different way to escape.
"...that Petey guy is so cool, don't you think?" A Pig Mask Colonel laughed from a chair, sipping from a glass full of wine. "Really, why can't we fire King Boo? The guy's useless!"
Tom Nook was sitting next to him, drinking from a fruit juice box. "Yes, I was wondering that myself. I heard that he has some deal going on with Giygas? I think?" He sipped the kiddy drink with a scary look on his face. "Yes, deals are good."
The Colonel scanned the room with his drunk eyes and spotted Falco. "Heeeey! Guess who's too drunk and lazy to get uuuup!" Falco rolled his eyes and walked over. "Oooh! Mini-sandwiches!" The Pig Mask stuffed several of them into his mouth, chewing on them greedily.
Tom Nook and Falco looked at him. The well-dressed raccoon tried to talk some sense into him. "You do realize that those sandwiches have toothpicks in them, rig-"
The Pig Mask promptly threw up a mixture of alcohol, lunch meat, toothpicks, and blood before falling over into it with a squeal.
"…Right." Tom Nook chose to ignore him to talk to Falco. "Aren't you that guy that Giygas wants?"
"Yeah." Falco groaned. "Look, I'm not interested…"
"Well, I may be on the villainous side, but you really should join. You're like an employee." Tom Nook explained. "You have the qualifications to join, but eventually, somebody with the same qualifications will muscle in, and you'll lose all value to us. I know business, and I insist that you should take the opportunity while you can."
"Yeah, there's no way I'm doing that."
"…You're very weird, you know that?"
The two watched the Pig Mask Colonel cry in his own mess before Falco asked something. "Were all these tables always here?"
"Hm? No, I don't think so. Giygas created a long table earlier, but we cut it up so that we could spread the tables around. Vaati suggested that it would look very 'hip' before he left."
With that seemingly innocuous comment, hope rose within Falco. While Giygas' power subdued the energy of Subspace, whenever he created something, he needed to part his power to allow the energy to flow free.
Sometimes, he failed to close up the power gap.
Falco looked around wildly, looking for a patch of free energy - he still needed to escape unseen, but there was a hope! He walked away from the pair of villains, under the guise of delivering more mini-sandwiches to everybody else. "Wait…" the soldier on the floor coughed. "Can you get me a towel?"
"That's not my job." the avian answered with indifference; the cameras saw him say that but didn't do anything about it, so the people monitoring Falco presumably agreed with him. Falco walked around the room, absent-mindedly offering appetizers to others, resisting the smells, looking for a way to escape. As he walked around, he caught some interesting tidbits from the dinner party guests.
"Somebody spotted Master Hand in my home universe! If I catch him and make Mr. Mewtwo proud, I'll get a huge promotion, just you wait and see!"
"…my king's latest plan failed. You should have seen how easily those heroes foiled our plan…"
"Yo, have any of you seen my keys? I dropped them… where the hell are they?"
"...the Shadow Bugs are good weapons. Jeff's been using them to.."
"Fucking GAG, those peace-loving clowns ruin everything…"
"I… I got into a fight with… Link once. Never do that. Do you enjoy living? Then don't challenge him."
"There's some serious stuff going on in the Kirby universe?"
The conversations suddenly veered toward that topic.
"Right right… some rebellion going on? I think?"
"Oh my, a rebellion?"
"Eh, we can totally take those losers!"
"I don't think so. Pop Star's already fallen…"
"I think that's why Porky and Link aren't here - they failed at handling the problem."
"I heard they got distracted by trying to beat the shit out of each other?"
"This is why we play video games instead of attacking each other, people!"
"Did you hear, though? About those three Smashers?"
"The Smashers?"
"Yes, that's right! Those Smashers got fried by Roy for helping the rebels out!"
"Yeah, Roy's our boy!"
"Tsk, tsk. This is what Pikachu, Meta Knight, and Fox get for going against us."
Falco's platter fell to the ground. "What!" Before he could press the random person for further information, a shock went through him, making him fall.
Somebody floated right up to him, without offering a hand to help him up - Mewtwo. "Get up and get a new plate of food." He whirled around and before he left, he said, "By the way, your friend Fox really is dead. Just letting you know."
Falco didn't have anything to say to that.
Surely, it was just a rumor.
...Right?
(...Please do not tell Falco the truth, readers. Let's keep him on his toes.)
He silently got up and walked back to the kitchen, as if in a daze. In his mind, he refused the possibility of Fox's death; sure, Fox was an idiot, but he definitely wouldn't let himself get killed.
"Oh, it's you again." the Toad from earlier greeted as he entered. "Have you thought about life?"
"..." he did not respond, wordlessly getting a platter of kabobs.
"Have you thought about your friends? Like, say that they die... their existence won't cease, instead, they continue to live on in your memory. Hmm. Existence and life is really really philosophical and cool, ain't it? Yeah. Cool. Super cool. Very co-"
Falco tripped him on the way out.
"...it was a shame that Roy didn't leave any bodies left." the bird overheard Dr. Mario as he re-entered the dining room; Falco had a strange feeling that he knew what he was talking about. "I've never dissected a being like Meta Knight before."
"That.. that's nice." a Fire Emblem type medic replied, a bit (okay a lot actually) disturbed.
The protagonistic prisoner rapidly walked among the party-goers, offering kabobs without even looking at them. All party talk was now focused on what was going on in Kirby's universe, which, while it sounds like a great thing, sometimes led to the topic of Fox and his friends - whom are definitely okay, as Falco kept reminding himself mentally.
While doing so, he was on the lookout for a rip in Giygas' power. The subject of Fox's assumed death added to his drive, as it would be another mystery and another answer to seek as soon as he escapes. There were no obvious rips in plain sight, however. Falco even went out of his way to make two circuits around the room, only to find no such thing. But, there were still some areas that he hadn't checked.
"Oh, whoops." He let his platter of food slip from his hands. "Dropped something." He crouched down to the floor, using the fallen food as an excuse to look - under the tables, to be specific. His eyes scanned the area. He saw spilled food that was unceremoniously pushed under a few tables, some throw up induced by alcohol (Falco briefly felt sorry for the poor saps that had to clean the place up), even a random guy that was taking a quick nap. Under one table, there was seemingly nothing, but, under closer inspection, he could see a patch of purple, hanging over the floor and under the table.
Jackpot.
After regathering his appetizers, he stood up and started to stroll towards that table, planning to drop the food again in front of the cameras and spectators. However, a tense feeling overtook him when he saw who was seated there.
King Boo, Ashley, and Lucas, the apparent loners of the party, were sitting there, not absorbed in the rapid discussion that filled the room. Falco couldn't simply crawl under the table with them there. It was a den of villainy - well, King Boo was harmless, but he would probably turn him in if he tried something to score some more respect.
Falco approached them with a friendly smile. "Hey, do you guys want some kabobs?"
The girl stared at him. "...You seem a bit too happy for a prisoner." After a few more seconds of staring, she recognized him. "Oh right, you're that fool who doesn't want to work with us. ...What is wrong with you?"
"Nothing's wrong. Now, do you want some damn appetizers or not?" Falco said, somewhat defensively. Ashley and Lucas took one each; King Boo took a whole bunch.
"Oh gosh, I love these things." King Boo stuffed them into his mouth, thankfully, without throwing up.
"...You're... you're not going to enjoy those things forever, you know..." Lucas murmured to him, while staring at Falco.
King Boo got a big frown on his face. "Hey, I keep telling you people, I'm not getting fired. Nope." he laughed nervously. "There's no way the boss wants me gone. Haha."
"He will when Falco replaces you~!" Falco shot him an annoyed look; since Lucas was a fellow Smasher and more friendlier than Link, he was often chosen to help convince Falco into joining them. "He's just so much cooler than you... then again, coolness is all relative, I mean, coolness is in the eye of the beholder or..." He stammered into nonsensical territory.
"Face it, King Boo." Ashley agreed with Lucas. "Unless you do something big, Giygas will be getting rid of you. Of course, all you do all day is mess up like a miserable sack of shit."
"T-take that back, you... girl!" King Boo insulted lamely.
Lucas took it as if it was a death threat. "If you insult Ashley again, I'll beat you up with my twig~. And use your crown as a ball."
The ghost gasped. "Not my crown! It's the only dignity I have left!"
"You're... more concerned about your crown? But... material objects don't matter... only the coldness of death matters..."
"Yes, that's nice." Falco interrupted.
"No it isn't." King Boo said.
Falco ignored him. "I'm actually wondering: why are you guys just sitting here?"
"We're not a sociable bunch. Too many people." Ashley answered, looking at Falco, trying to figure out where he's getting at.
"God, you guys are like those loner kids that always get picked last for things."
"...I sort of was..." the boy said, rubbing his shoulder.
"Ditto. I'm fine with it now, though. Everyone that has ever ridiculed me are now.. heh heh..." the girl giggled.
"I'm fine with this corner." the phantom said meekly. "All people ever do is insult me."
Falco sweated. He needed to find some way to get them all to leave. "...hey, what kind of joke is this?" He put on a pretend look of outrage. "What kind of party doesn't have music playing?" The three villains stared at him blankly.
"...That is a good point..." Ashley admitted; however, her blank stare quickly turned into that of suspicion. "But why do you care anyway?"
"Well... it ruins the party atmosphere, doesn't it?" the waiter offered nervously - the look on the girl's face clearly showed that she wasn't buying into this.
Luckily, Lucas, who had a few screws loose, seemed to. "...Music would be nice. I heard that there's a DJ attending... even though I'm just sitting here, it'd be nice to listen to something. Maybe I'll ask him about it."
Ashley looked at him disapprovingly. "We don't need music, Lucas."
"But... p-please?"
She looked at him for a few seconds before sighing, like a parent giving into a child's demands. "Very well then."
"Y-yay!" The boy stood up. "I-I'm going to ask him to play KK Slider songs!" With that, he ran off in search of said DJ.
The girl started to begrudgingly follow him; she turned around to give Falco one last suspicious look. "I don't know what you're planning, Lombardi, but whatever it is..." she looked in the direction Lucas ran off in. "...it's King Boo's problem."
The ghost king, who spent the entire time arranging a playlist of songs in his head, looked more than a bit displeased. "Why me?"
"Because you're expendable." she answered coldly before leaving to look for Lucas.
That eliminated Lucas and Ashley from the equation - although Ashley had her suspicions. All he had to do now was get King Boo out of there and hurry along before the other two came back. "Hey, don't you want to recommend music too? Like Lady Gaga or... whoever the hell you listen to?" Falco said.
"What's the point? It's not as if they'll respect me enough to do what I want..." King Boo groaned, slamming his head on the table. "I need to do something great. And soon." He looked toward the other side of the room, where certain giant flower-headed figure was. "Man, everyone even likes Petey more than me..."
Falco admitted that King Boo was rather pitiable at the moment. He is usually a cheerful doof, but here he was, a depressed ghoul that's coming to terms with his imminent doom. For a moment, he actually considered letting King Boo on his escape plan so they could escape together and save the specter from Giygas' wrath.
However, something told him that King Boo would likely turn him in - anything to garner respect. So, Falco semi-regretfully continued with his plan. "You know what will cheer you up? Beating up Petey! I mean, if you're stronger than him, it means that you're better than him, right?"
He quickly realized how stupid that sounded. Fortunately, King Boo was an unsuspecting idiot. "Yeah... I can take him!" He paused. "But.. I need food to energize me. A king can't fight on an empty stomach! ...Hold on, are kings supposed to fight?"
"Sure they do!" He looked down at his platter, which was now devoid of food. "Okay, as soon as I get your snacks, go kick Petey's ass!"
"I will!"
Falco started to head back to the kitchen. As he did so, he heard a mass argument that arose in the middle of the room - various people were aggressively suggesting music. An anthropomorphic dog DJ (either from Falco's universe or Ashley's; or maybe some distant cousin of KK Slider) stood on top of a table, screaming, "This is why we didn't have music, with all your bickering and stuff! Please shut up!"
Once again, there to greet him was the existential Toad. "...Today is a nice day, isn't it? Nobody's died yet. As far as I know."
"That is a good thing." Falco answered half-truthfully as he set up a plate of nachos.
"...We should be grateful for the kitchen that was set up here..." he droned. "It's great that it was created. We don't need to run between floors to bring food - now our legs will never desert us. Isn't it great?"
The avian dropped his food. "What?"
"I said our legs will never escape us again." the Toad looked down at his legs. "I need these stubby things to get around, ya know."
"Not that, you idiot. Before that."
"This kitchen was created to be a convenience to everyone and our sweet legs."
Falco's heart beat with anticipation. Was his escape lying in the grandiose kitchen he was scurrying back and forth from the entire time? It dawned on him - all the shenanigans for the past thousand words was a complete waste of time then. Hopefully, they would stay just a waste of time and won't come back to bite him in the butt.
He left the mess he dropped (much to the annoyance of the kitchen's janitors) and started to walk around the kitchen. As he darted around other waiters, waitresses, and cooks, he continuously glanced at a few security cameras - if he was going to search the kitchen, he needed to remain inconspicuous. "Don't mind me, I'm looking for the champagne."
"That's nice. Watch your legs!" the Toad called.
Like a mouse, he scoured around every corner of the room, while pretending to look at food and platters (thankfully, there was no champagne, which gave him an excuse for scurrying around so much). There were only bits of red clouding the air, even in the pantry. Which left...
"Maybe there's some champagne in the freezer room." he said, loud enough for passer-bys and the nearest camera to hear. He approached a large steel door and with an air of confidence, he pushed the door open and went inside.
The cold metal room was full of crates, with frozen food waiting to be cooked. The air was less dense with Giygas' essence.
So it wasn't surprising that there was a patch of purple energy, unaffected by the surroundings.
Falco quickly looked around the freezer room - there were no cameras.
With that, he started to walk toward the energy, hope rising inside him.
He thought he was actually smiling.
The world around him was silenced, as if hushed by a motherly goddess.
He reached his hand toward it as thoughts rapidly filled his head.
Where should he go? To his home universe? Mario's universe? After all, that place was a safe bet, considering the incompetence of King Boo. Maybe he could go to the Kirby universe - after all, he needed to see if there was any truth to Fox and friends presumed deaths.
Wait a moment.
It was actually quiet outside. That rambling from earlier was not actually a poetic simile - he could no longer hear the bustling of the kitchen staff.
He heard the door behind him creak open.
Then he heard a beep from his collar.
"Shit."
A quick pain went through his body, forcing a scream out of him, as the electric shock kicked in. Falco fell onto the floor, gasping while the smell of singed feathers filled his nostrils.
Mewtwo pushed his way inside, holding a remote control in his hands; Falco could see some of the kitchen staff through the door, watching in fright and pity. The Pokémon, without turning, commanded, "Get back to work." The cooks went back to cooking and the wait staff profoundly apologized before going back to serve the party guests. Mewtwo then closed the door, so he could have a private conversation. "Tsk. Looks like you failed to escape again, Falco."
The avian weakly reached toward the energy of Subspace. He was answered by another quick current of electricity, making him convulse. Reeling back from the pain, he asked, "H..how did you know?"
"I've been watching you, Falco. Did you really think I wouldn't suspect you of trying to escape? Again?" Mewtwo casually sat down on a crate of Pokeblocks, playing with the remote in his hands. "There's a huge argument about music going on right now - started when Lucas tried to request something to be played to me - which happened right after you talked to him.
"Plus, it seemed that you were hellbent on trying to get everyone away from that specific table. I took one look, and guess what I found?" he paused. "Did you know that King Boo tried to fight his friend, Petey? Apparently, he was convinced to do so by you; it hardly matters though, since that incompetent twit is spending some time locked in a room - don't ask why. The reasons behind it is very stupid."
"...That... I was so damn close.."
"That you were. But you know what? If you haven't wasted all that time earlier and increased my suspicions, and just came to this room, you would have won." Mewtwo sneered. "This just further proves in my eyes that you don't deserve to live. The fact that filler of all things stopped you truly shows it."
Oh ha ha.
He continued on. "I wish I could execute you... it would be so simple to keep my finger on this button... and have an undeserving clone's life snuffed..." then his angry expression turned to that of disappointment. "Unfortunately, Giygas still wants you to live, you ungrateful shit. You're being given all these opportunities, but you keep rejecting us and..."
"I will never join you, how many times do I have to tell you that?" an ever defiant Falco said. He tried to reach toward the energy yet again.
Then he heard a beep - not from his collar, though.
Mewtwo answered a walkie-talkie. "Yes...? Oh, I'll bring him right away." He grinned and put it away. "Giygas wants to speak to you."
Falco, widening his eyes, shot his arm through the energy and a light started to form at his fingertips. A hole expanded into existence.
Mewtwo however was calm about it. "Now... let's make sure you won't be conscious to make things difficult."
Before Falco could crawl into the portal he created, a more powerful shock circulated through his body, making his heart seize while he convulsed, the light he created slipping away while he fell into the dark unconsciousness.
"...I really don't see why we can't just brainwash him, or break his mind, sir."
"Mewtwo, I need Falco to keep his sanity. It wouldn't do us much good if we had another Link on our hands. As efficient as he is, his bloodlust keeps getting in the way..." a deep voice said. "Plus, you've seen Lucas. He's too dependent on Ashley and has to ask her permission to do things. I want somebody capable of making their own damn decisions."
Falco groaned as he started to stir.
They didn't appear to have noticed him. "Why don't we just use... the bugs?"
"They are unpredictable... which of course makes them good torture devices..."
Falco groaned again and he opened his eyes.
He was in an unknown place (to you readers, anyway) that was made up of rock and was very hot. The room was filled with red gas - which was unsurprising, because not only was Mewtwo there, but Giygas himself was there, in his Giegue form. Giygas looked at him, with a mocking smile on his face. "Ah, so he finally awakens." He turned to address Mewtwo. "You may go back to the party, Mewtwo."
"To be honest sir, I'd rather go do my work." the Pokémon answered.
"Really? You don't wish to bond with the others?"
"Hmm. I wouldn't mind, but there's some sort of argument going on about music, thanks to a certain someone." Mewtwo glared at you-know-who. "I really don't want to hear about which song or band is the best. Those arguments get crazy. Besides, looking for him, as tedious as it is, isn't as torturous."
"Fine, you may leave." Falco watched as Mewtwo left through a portal and disappeared, leaving him alone with Giygas. "Falco, why must you be so resistant? I only wish for a commander. Instead, you just keep causing trouble, like a stupid brat."
Falco did not answer, instead, looking around. The room did not have any entrance other than the now-gone portal. There was a grate on the wall near the ceiling, however, it was so thin that only a gas could seep through it. A camera in the corner watched them intently.
Giygas was infuriated by the lack of response. "Tsk! You disrespectful fool! Do you not know who you're talking to? I'm the to-be ruler of this entire dimension! You should be grateful that I'm talking to a stupid hero like you; in fact, you should be grateful that you're still even alive! Speak! Answer me!"
Falco coughed on the red gas that made up the abomination. "Have you considered taking a shower?"
Giygas barred his teeth, but he tried to keep himself composed. "You have quite the nerve... however, I won't deal with you. I'll let your 'punishment' do the job." He smiled. "It's just your usual, light punishment. Not horrible enough to drive you into insanity but torturous enough to remind you who you're dealing with."
Falco grinned defiantly. "Heh. It won't scare me." Even though what was going to happen was torturous, there was still one tiny bright spot in it...
"I know. I've seen the footage." Giygas was still smiling. "Even if you somehow break through without the camera seeing you, there's nowhere to run to. Now, I must be attending to something..." the Giegue avatar melted and was absorbed into the gas particles. The red mist floated up and went through the grate - Falco did not know what was behind the wall.
Falco stood up and looked at himself. He felt the electric collar, still holding his neck and flaunting the feathers near the neck that it burnt. However, Falco didn't seem to mind. Another chance to escape was available - it was just way, way, less likely to succeed. He stared up at the camera and shouted, "Bring it on!"
Then, as he said that, another gas flowed in through the vents - the purple energy of Subspace. The very thing he was looking for earlier was flooding the room.
However, Falco gulped, bracing himself for what was to come.
Like a volatile gas, it started to react to the air. The energy rippled unstably. The pieces of gas went through sublimation, turning into solids. The energy lost its brightness, instead, turning into dark orbs. Then, the dark bits started to move, as if they developed sentience. They scurried across the floor toward Falco, an air of malevolence surrounding them.
The energy of Subspace had transformed into Shadow Bugs.
Falco tried to stay calm as they advanced on him. A plan started to form in his mind, however, it involved letting the Shadow Bugs touch him. He watched as the bugs latched onto his shoe. That's when the Shadow Bugs' power came into play.
He suddenly found himself falling down - the material of his shoe had suddenly become metal. The power of the Shadow Bugs was different from that of their base component; instead of creating, they influenced.
To his misfortune, he fell right into the horde of bugs, which was likely not how he wanted this to go out. He screamed involuntarily as they started to latch onto him. He felt unidentifiable pains around his body, as the bugs changed the composition and form of his bodies. Some of the Shadow Bugs, having copied his DNA, crawled onto his chest and they morphed into miniature Falco heads, with glowing yellow eyes staring at him. They started to bash their tiny heads against him, mindlessly attacking him, like the clones that the Shadow Bugs made during the Subspace Emissary incident.
Note that this was apparently the "light" punishment.
"G-get off of me, damn it!" Falco said, making sure that none of the Shadow Bugs crawled into his mouth. He stood up and looked at himself. The little critters were crawling all over him, his jumpsuit different colors and materials in various spots - of course, his collar was untouched by them. He glanced at the camera - he hoped that whoever was watching the security monitors was preoccupied with something else.
He scooped up a handful of Shadow Bugs that was on his shoulder and smashed them against the wall. He tried to use their power on the stone wall - it turned into a lighter color. He picked up another bunch of Shadow Bugs that was crawling on his knees (that turned the material of the jumpsuit into hot rubber; the avian tried to resist the burning pain) and smashed it again. A different color, this time.
The camera was still trained on him, but it didn't seem to notice what he was doing. Falco took advantage of this and continued throwing Shadow Bugs against the wall, killing them while trying to remake the material of the wall.
He kept throwing.
And throwing.
And throwing...
...until there was a huge spot on the wall - made of wood. Sturdy wood, but he could try to smash it.
He pulled back his fist.
Then, something caught it.
Falco turned around.
There was a mass of Shadow Bugs standing behind him, a deformed hand holding his fist. Then, shapes began to form. The hand became blue and covered in feathers and a beak started to poke out of where the head was. Eventually, the Shadow Bugs disappeared, molded into a shadow clone of Falco.
The False Falco looked at him, with piercing yellow eyes.
The real Falco looked back, with a bit of worry in his expression.
Then the fighting began.
Mewtwo was in his office, looking at the screens again; there were now twice as many screens, the new ones showing the areas that was under Porky's jurisdiction. Downstairs, he heard shouting and music, which constantly switched to different songs. "Ignore the peanut gallery..." he assured himself.
The Pokémon heard a thump behind him.
He looked to see that it was the large, somewhat humanoid, Piranha Plant, Petey Piranha. Mewtwo remembered watching the plant get spirited away with King Boo when he punched him on the advice of Falco. The red mist in the large room immediately reacted to the punch; Giygas was serious about there being no fighting.
Petey made a discouraged noise.
"...Excuse me?" Mewtwo said. He briefly glanced back at his monitors. Still, no sign of his target. "Where's King Boo?"
Petey released a sad noise and then tried to imitate Giygas' horrific face.
Mewtwo understood. Giygas was dealing with King Boo.
The two Falcos were engaged in hand-to-hand combat. If the security guy was not going to deal with Falco, his clone would. The Fake Falco launched a fist into Falco's face, knocking him to the ground. He grinned evilly, getting on top of the real Falco's stomach, prepared to beat him relentlessly.
"...Y-you're not me..." Falco said to his shadow. With swiftness, he knocked him off and stood up. "I don't hold people down and beat the shit out of them - only cowards and sore losers fight like that!"
His clone let out a hiss and lunged at him.
"Take this!" as if punting a ball, he kicked the Fake Falco, with enough strength to knock him into the ceiling. As the pained Shadow Bug clone descended, Falco punched him, throwing him against the wall. Falco was impressed by himself - despite the torture he went through earlier, he was fighting well. "Heh. I still got it."
The clone was not amused. He ran up toward Falco and unleashed a flurry of kicks. Falco slid back, coughing up a bit of blood. Smiling sadistically, the clone tried to kick him in the side.
However, Falco caught his foot.
"Y-you're pretty st-stupid, you know?" then, the Smasher roared and spun, picking his clone off the floor. "More p-proof that you're not me!" He spun him around slowly, gradually spinning faster.
Then, Mario 64 style, Falco threw his clone right through the wooden part of the wall.
The Shadow Bug clone burst through the other side of the wall. It landed on the floor painfully and it started to lose its form. The Shadow Bugs dissolved, the pain too much to take, and soon, there was nothing there.
Falco stepped through the hole and looked at the camera again. There seemed to be no response to what Falco was doing.
He cautiously walked around. The place was as rocky and hot as his cell. Speaking of cells, he heard noises from behind some walls - usually screaming. Of course, there was no entrance into any of these cells.
After a bit more walking, it became evident to Falco that there was no entrance into wherever he was either. There was not a single door in the area. No openings. Just really thin vents to allow stuffy air through, as well as gas and Shadow Bugs. He then happened upon a bulletin board:
STOVE CANYON PRISON
"You're here forever!"
To: Guards:
Bring whatever food and drink you can before starting your shift. The portals are the only way in and out of the prison, and, of course, you can't come back to Subspace. Shifts end after 30 minutes; another portal from Subspace will open up and the next batch of guards will arrive. Security room shifts ends in the same time period. Do not break through any of the cells to let prisoners out - instead, request portals to be put in their cells to transfer them elsewhere. If you do the former, you will be convicted of treason. You will be executed via stream of lava outside. Your friends will be forced to throw you through the stream, and you will gain horrible burns. You will likely die from landing in a pool of lava afterwards.
Other than that, this is a very cushy job. Have fun.
There are clearly guards here, so where were the guards? Falco set off to look after them; since there was no way to leave the place other than by portal, he hoped to follow them when their shift ends. Then, he found them, crowded in front of a wall. The guards were all made up of Gooms, wielding spears; some of them looked a bit crazed, while the rest seemed sane and willing to work. However, all were transfixed by sounds coming from the other side of the wall. The fact that Falco wasn't electrocuted yet meant that the person in charge of security was also likely distracted. What was going on?
King Boo was backed up in the corner of the cell Giygas brought him to. Of course, he could always phase out of the prison; however, he realized that this would only serve to piss his boss off more. Unfortunately, this meant that he had to stay with Giygas in the red gas filled room. By the time Falco arrived, Giygas was already chewing King Boo out and lecturing him.
"...King Boo, do you understand what it takes to run an empire?"
"Uh..." for a second, the ghost king thought he could see another emotion in Giygas' angry eyes - stress, perhaps?
"No, of course you don't. You're an idiot."
"...r-right..."
"Look, while it was easy - perhaps even fun, for some of us - taking over Subspace, trying to take over and rule this dimension is another thing." He started to pace around the room, while keeping his eyes trained on King Boo. "Cruelty is needed to keep people in line. We need to remind the citizenry of the dimension that we're a force to be reckoned with. To be respected. To be obeyed. We need to bring every person under our banner; through diplomacy, force, bribery, hell, anything goes. Every world must come under our power and weakness won't help with that."
Giygas walked up to the listening ghost, who flinched as he came near. "D-don't hurt me!"
The overlord grinned malevolently.
Then.
He took the crown off of the king's head.
Giygas went back to pacing around the room, tossing the crown up and down in the air, continuing his spiel. "However, admittedly, being too cruel, is, regretfully, obstructive to our agenda. If we piss off too many people, there will be uprisings everywhere that cannot be contained. Some kindness is required; we must provide bread and circuses to the people. Do you understand?"
King Boo nodded. Although he understood, he had no idea where this conversation was going.
"Now, Porky fully understands this - it's a shame that he's too foolish." he stopped walking, but he continued tossing the crown, making sure its owner was watching it. "Porky introduced the ways of the modern world to Tazmily and captivated most of its inhabitants. They lost themselves in Porky's new world, but they were satisfied with their pathetic lives. This only left a few people to oppose him, people that can easily be subjugated, and their uprising wouldn't matter." He sighed. "Unfortunately, said opposition had PSI powers, which certainly changed things... damn PSI users, always ruining things... and the power of love as well..."
King Boo coughed. "Er... weren't you technically stopped by prayer when you fought Ness and his friends?"
Giygas shot him a fierce look.
The ghost gulped.
Although he seemed angrier, Giygas continued. "Power is required to rule, but you need to act reasonably to your subjects. It's so hard to find a common ground... especially when you're ruling a dimension spanning empire... ha..."
"...Is... something wrong, boss?"
"Shut up." Giygas snapped. "Nothing is wrong. Keeping things under control is an easily obtainable goal - it's just that you damn fools keep messing up." he dropped the crown on the floor. "Porky, Roy, and Link truly messed up this time. Plunging their universe into a civil war against each other just made its inhabitants more restless, giving more of them a reason to rebel. It's amazing how such a fuck-up can send everything spiraling into disaster."
He brought up his foot and stomped on the crown - a part of it bended inward.
"I... my solid gold crown! Why would you do... how are you even doing tha-"
"You really don't know how to shut up, do you?" he stomped on it again. "Ineffective, disobedient... you're completely useless. Your friend Petey, would do a much better job than you. Even if he can't speak, he's much more ferocious than you are." Stomp.
"P-petey isn't my friend! He's just my partner in sports games and go-kart raci-"
Giygas glared, shutting him up. Then, an arm formed in the red gas that filled the room and reached out toward King Boo. The ghost yelped as the arm constricted around him, squeezing him painfully; conveniently, the hand rested over his mouth.
"That's better." the threatening creature said, while giving the crown beneath him a kick. "Now then, the point is, there needs to be a balance between cruelty and kindness; if anyone here goes extreme with one side, it could rip our control away. Porky, Roy, and Link are cruel idiots. You, on the other hand, are on the other end of the spectrum. You're too soft. Too soft and idiotic, in fact. Your own soldiers want to dessert you, because you're just so damn inefficient and embarrassing... you know... it'd be so easy to kill you right now."
He lifted the hand away from King Boo's mouth to hear his response. "But... what about the deal?"
"Ah yes. That's what I wanted to talk about next." he slowly crushed King Boo's crown with his foot. "Something tells me you need a little incentive. To keep you from being so rash and disobedient. So, instead of two months, you have one. One month to get something done. One month to get some progress on your own universe."
"Y-you can't just lower it!"
"Yes I can. You're a minor ruler in this empire. You are useless, stupid, lazy... you even disobeyed my instructions to listen to a man who hates us and has made several escape attempts in the past. You are gullible, to believe such a flimsy lie."
"Lucas believed Falco too!"
"Yes, but the boy is insane. He's relying on a girl that abused him viciously in the past as an emotional crutch, for instance; speaking of whom, she'll be dealing with his punishment. Falco is currently undergoing a punishment as well; however, his courage against this has certainly bought him more interest from me. It's truly amazing that I prefer him over you, isn't it?" He kicked King Boo's crown - now an unrecognizable mass of gold - into a corner.
"...Y-you need me though..."
"For what?""
"...Comic relief?"
"...Ridley is also a comic relief character in this wretched story; he is also much more competent than you'll ever be. Now go on, give me another stupid reason that proves your worth."
"..." King Boo was at a loss for words.
"Come on! Tell me! Give me a reason why I shouldn't execute you in a month's time, when you inevitably fail!"
"..." the ghost was terrified. Despite this, Giygas continued to shout...
The Gooms were amused by Giygas' yelling. Falco on the other hand felt very sympathetic toward the ghoul - in fact, he felt pretty shitty for tricking him and getting him involved like this.
Still though, as much as the guilt was eating him up, he still needed to focus on his own escape...
Inside a separate room in the facility, filled with screens and air conditioning, was a Dangerous Duck. Former member of Captain Syrup's crew, he was chosen to monitor the security camera views. Constant vigilance was needed for the job.
At the moment, he was lying back in his chair, watching the scene going on in King Boo's cell while blogging about it on various social media sites. This was easily one of the most interesting things he's seen in a long time - well, there were the fights Link and Porky were having a few hours ago, but that got boring really quickly. One can only take so much one-sided stabbings.
Besides, it's not as if something would happen to the other prisoners. Even the ones that try to escape their fates using the Shadow Bugs were sure to be curbstomped by their own clones. It's not as if someone would be strong enough to fight them off, ha! Dangerous Duck finds such notions absurd!
A few minutes later, Giygas ended his tirade - King Boo was now curled up in the corner of his room, crying. The duck watched as he turned into his gaseous state and emerged into the hallway. "...what are you idiots doing here? Get back to work!" Dangerous Duck watched as his fellow guards scrambled to go on their patrols.
It was only then that he decided to go back to his job. He ran his eyes over the screens. Hmm-hmm. Some prisoners getting tortured by cruel punishments, nothing new. Link and Porky had stopped fighting, sitting cross-legged across from each other, uneasily talking to each other and wondering when they'll be getting out. Hmm, that cell is empty. As is that one but...
The Dangerous Duck saw that the wall was broken. "...This is not good! Quack!"
He ran his eyes around the hallway screens, trying to look for the missing prisoner. He must be somewhere. There's nowhere for him to go. But then, he heard a frustrated scream. His boss had found the broken cell. "What the hell is this?"
The Dangerous Duck was horrified by the situation. He would get demoted! Or killed. Yeah, the latter was more likely. He started to look around the room for a remote control - the one that would electrocute the running man. But then, he got distracted by a beeping noise - alas! The alarm that announced the end of the shift! Maybe if his replacement got here quick enough, he would take the blame for this! Yeah, hopefully!
The Gooms were headed to a designated hallway (where the portal would spawn) when they heard their boss' furious shout. "What the hell is this? Where is Falco Lombardi?"
"...A-a prisoner actually... escaped?" a Goom said in awe.
"He can't have. Can't have." another Goom said quietly, tightly gripping his spear. "There is no way out aside from. The portals. Our portals."
"Where could he be, though?" a fellow guard said.
That's when the air in front of them began to distort, a portal appearing before them. They could escape to one of the other guard houses in Subspace, which was used as a midway to swap guards for prisons all over the dimension. Maybe, they could even try to escape to another universe, if they're knowledgeable enough on one. Either way, Giygas was pissed, the prisoner apparently disappeared, and they really needed to get the hell out of there.
Then, they heard a clunk.
Falco fell down from the ceiling, involuntarily. He looked at the shoe turned to metal by the Shadow Bugs, accusingly. "Damn shoe, dragging me down." He looked up and saw the Gooms staring at him. "...So, hey."
"...Get him!" one of the guards shrieked. That guard tried to shove his spear toward Falco.
The bird sidestepped it and grabbed it. "Sorry!" he pried the spear out of his hands and smacked the guy with the wooden end of the spear. He forced his way through the group of guards as the portal opened up, hitting them with the wooden part of his weapon. As he did so, he felt somebody stab him in his side, creating a gash of blood. He just covered it up with his arm to keep his blood in and kept running.
The portal opened revealing the inside of a building in Subspace (resembling a break room of an office building). The guards on the other side widened their eyes in surprise as Falco pushed through; they were too surprised to do anything about it. "Out of our way!" the guards of Stove Canyon shouted in desperation. "Get him, or Giygas will have our heads!"
One of them threw a spear toward Falco, catching him on the shoulder and cutting it. However, Falco did not stop running. He refused to let himself fail again. He ran out of the guard house and outside. There was no red gas outside. It was a free expanse of energy. In the distance, the Smasher could see the palace, surrounded by ominous red mist - Good riddance, he thought. With a dramatic flair, Falco turned to face the surge of Gooms running toward him and said, "So long, suckers!"
Then, an electric shock started coursing through his body.
Falco fell on the floor, gasping. Nope. No. He wasn't going to get caught. This would have made this entire chapter pointless, other than the whole King Boo thing. In retrospect, a lot of the chapter was filler. Well, his shenanigans at the party earlier did end up resulting in a distraction for Stove Canyon's guards, but that's just my stupid opinion. Wow, I am full of shit.
Using the last of his strength, Falco placed his hands on the ground, wishing for a safe place to hide.
The Gooms at the front of the pack threw their spears.
Then, a hole of light appeared right under Falco as he twitched from the electrocution.
He fell in right as the storm of spears hit.
The guards all stopped.
He escaped.
Through the still open portal between the prison and the guard house, they could all see, at the end of a stone corridor, was a mass of red anger.
"...Well, it's been a pleasure serving with all of you." one Goom said, accepting his fate.
"I blame Dangerous Duck."
"What an asshole."
"Wait, we could create our own portals and escape!"
"How many of you actually know a place to hide other than our own homes?"
"..."
"...Has any of you read a book on a place? A brochure? If we know enough about a place, we could create a portal there!"
"Oh, I know of a place! Just let me-"
Mewtwo looked excited when he emerged into Stove Canyon - he had some very important information. However, his excitement turned into curiosity when he noticed that the entire place was quiet, aside from noises from the prisoners. He floated around a bit until he found Giygas, looking at Falco's broken cell, with a blank expression. "What happened?"
"...Falco escaped." he replied. Mewtwo looked surprised. "That infuriating..."
The Pokémon looked around. "Where are the guards? Didn't they try to stop him? Didn't the next shift start already?"
"They're all gone." he said quietly. "All of them."
Mewtwo decided not to pry any further into the issue.
"Tomorrow, have new mercenaries hired. Appoint the smartest and most attentive of all of them to watch the security monitors."
"...Understood..."
"Also... if there's any sign of Falco... recapture him. As annoying as it is, I admit that what he's done is impressive." Giygas said. "However... you are allowed to use any force necessary. Bleed him dry, break some limbs, outright cripple him, it doesn't matter, as long as he's alive. Besides, I'm sure Dr. Mario will be happy to give him some new limbs... a little beating is sure to get rid of his cocky attitude..."
Mewtwo seemed a bit excited about this. Even if it's a positive thing, being put under the care of Dr. Mario is a rather bad thing. "Understood."
"Now... why are you here, Mewtwo?"
"I have some valuable information." he pulled out a paper, with a printed picture on it. Giygas looked at it, and although pleased, he did not smile.
"...Perhaps there is a bright spot in this wretched day." Giygas muttered. It's just been frustration after frustration after the three pains practically helped start a revolution on Pop Star - thank Miyamoto that they were dead. (If any of you guys tell the bad guys that they're alive, we won't be friends.) "Have whoever we have at the moment track him down."
"Mmh hmm." he nodded. "What about Link and Porky?"
"They still have to fulfill their punishment. Judging by the number of times they killed each other, those two idiots will be staying there for 27 hours."
"And King Boo?"
"He's too terrified of me to leave his cell. Good thing. It'll give that imbecile some time to think of a good plan." he took the picture out of Mewtwo's hands and crumpled it. "Hopefully, he'll get something done within a month, otherwise..."
"You'll kill him?"
"Yes. In the slowest and most painful way possible. It doesn't matter if he's a ghost - I know a few methods that will outright erase his sorry existence."
Mewtwo couldn't fathom what methods are they and who, of all people, Giygas learned them from.
A lone figure wandered in the wasteland, gathering food.
Then, he saw him. The figure walked up to him.
Falco Lombardi was barely conscious, a spear protruding from his back.
The unknown person gently picked him up and started to bring him home.
To be continued...
Author's Note: Hmm... this chapter is almost as long as the last chapter of the previous story. I wonder how long the later chapters will be, as well as the finale.
Well, if you find yourself disappointed with this chapter, rest assured, we'll be going back to the main trio in the next chapter! So, who is Giygas looking for? Where is Falco now, and who found him? Where will our main heroes be heading? Will it take me less than 3 months to write and publish the next chapter? Find out, in the next, hopefully exciting episo- chapter of The War Against Giygas!