A/N: I will probably be uploading less for a while to come, even though I have my buffer up a bit more. I am going back to university tomorrow and so I won't have as much time. I will do my best to upload at least once a week, but I don't know how much time I will have. So the plot has finally kicked in. Some characters will turn up in the next couple of chapters.
Fionna and Cake both stayed in the room with Ice Queen for a while, even after the woman stopped coughing and fell asleep. Fionna watched her sleep, the woman wasn't peaceful like she had been that last night in the dungeon. She was troubled, she wasn't happy the way she had been before.
It upset her to see the woman that way. "We have to do something, Cake," she informed her friend as they climbed back down into the living room.
"Like what?" her friend asked.
"I don't know," Fionna admitted. "Do you think she has pneumonia?"
"I don't know," Cake returned. "But it's certainly worse than a cold, maybe flu?"
"I don't know how to cure flu either," Fionna exclaimed. "This is really bad, isn't it?"
"Looks that way, sorry buddy," Cake said they sat in the kitchen for a minute looing sad at each other and then Cake suddenly perked up. "I know," she exclaimed. "We should visit Choose Goose, she has all kinds of stuff, I bet she'd have a remedy."
"Yeah," Fionna was immediately ecstatic, she always hated not having a plan. She practically bolted down the ladder and out the door and fidgeted as she waited for Cake to follow. "Hurry up." She instructed the cat.
"Dude, calm down," Cake tried to sooth her.
"She could die, Cake," Fionna told her friend. "How am I supposed to be calm?"
"Why do you care so much?" Cake asked her.
"She's going to die, Cake!" Fionna practically screamed at her friend. "How can you ask that?"
"I didn't mean that," Cake said, "I just… whatever, jump on."
Cake stretched until she was the size of a horse and Fionna jumped on her back. Cake ran as fast as she could and Fionna knew it was only because she was freaking out. Cake didn't care for the Ice Queen all that much, even if they did seem to be getting along now. But Cake was Fionna's friend, so they made all haste to Choose Goose.
"A cure for the flu?" the goose asked with a grin. "I haven't got a clue."
"Well…" Fionna hadn't been expecting that, Choose Goose had everything, that was the point. "Do you know where we could find something?"
"You have the book," Choose Goose pointed out. "Take a look."
Fionna grinned. "Thanks, Choose Goose," she said, starting back home already.
"Your glee is enough for me," the goose assured her with a grin.
"What's she talking about?" Cake asked once Fionna was astride once again.
"The Enchiridion," Fionna told her.
"Come to think of it, that may be the only book we own," Cake mused.
FIonna shrugged.
They burst in and up the ladders to where Fionna kept the Enchiridion, next to her bed. Ice Queen didn't even stir as the girl rooted through her things to find the book. Ice Queen wasn't looking good, she had stopped coughing but she didn't look well, almost grey instead of blue.
"We need to hurry it up," Fionna complained, leafing through the book. "She looked grey, you know who else is grey?"
Cake shrugged. "Marshall?" she suggested.
"More like green," Fionna said. "But you are on the right track" – Cake grinned – "dead people are grey." The cat stopped smiling.
"She was breathing," Cake reassured her friend. "I could hear her breathing."
"She isn't dead, she is just getting there," Fionna said. "Found it."
She almost jumped up and did a dance.
"What did you find?" Cake asked.
"There's a cyclops whose tears heal anything," Fionna told her. "It says right here in the book."
"Let's go then," Cake said, jumping right out the window. Fionna laughed and followed, Cake catching her before she could hurt herself.
"Onward, mah trusty stead," Fionna called, jumping up onto Cake's back.
Cake whinnied and they were on their way, both laughing. It felt almost like they shouldn't be laughing, but enjoying the journey was what Fionna was all about. And she always enjoyed a journey more when Cake was with her.
They came to a fork in the road with a sign that pointed both ways but had no writing on it. The stump it was made from had a face on it and appeared to be asleep. Which way were they supposed to go? There was a big bramble bush separating the two paths, so they couldn't really just co in between.
"Check the book," Cake suggested. "Which way do we go?"
"Ring ring," the sign said. "There are two choices, guys. The path on the left, the 'Hair Fallout Path': no more hair again, ever. Or the path on the right, 'Smelly Path': makes you smelly, forever. You won't believe it."
"Isn't there another way?" Fionna asked. She jumped down off Cake, who shrank down to normal size.
"No," the sign told her.
"Hmm," Fionna looked around the place. "But what if I just…"
"No," the sign insisted. "You have to choose."
Fionna leaned over to Cake and whispered. "We can just go over," she said. "I bet you could stretch us over the bramble."
"I'll have a look," Cake stretched her legs up until she looked like little more than a dot to Fionna.
"What are you doing?" the stump asked. "You have to pick one of the paths."
"Dude," Fionna said. "I don't want my hair to fall out, and I don't want to be smelly, so we are just going over the bramble."
"The smelly path isn't all that bad," the stump offered. "That bush stretches all the way to the river."
Cake came back down. "It's pretty big," she said. "I don't think I could stretch all that way. You could just cut through, you brought your sword."
"Hey, yeah," Fionna pulled her sword. She stepped over the stump. "Sorry for not obeying your rules," she told the angry face. "But I like my hair and odour."
The stump just sulked as Fionna started cutting. It took a while and a fair amount of tearing of clothes and scratching of skin to get all the way through the bramble to the other side. Where they found a raging river and a bush with a face on it. The river appeared to have a few stepping stones on it.
"Ring ring," the bush said. "Hello, dummy police… yes, there are some strange dummies lurking around my house… oh, ok… yes, thank you, goodbye."
"What?" Fionna was somewhat confused by this. "We need to cross this river."
"You can't get across the river it's impossible," the bush said. "Look: The current, it's so strong it'll turn your butt inside out for real, doofus, and the water's so acidic, it'll crump your boat in half. It's like orange juice, it's gross. There's a bridge, but it's a trap and the water's jamming with electric eels. That's it, there's no other way around, you dummies."
"I have a magic cat," Fionna stuck her tongue out at the bush. "Cake, you think you can stretch between those stones?"
"Yeah," Cake nodded. "Get on my back."
Cake just stretched then from stone to stone while the bush hurled insults from back on the shore, complaining that they weren't supposed to be able to get across. The bush's voice faded under the sound of the river by the time they were halfway across.
They got across and were into the forest, where the Enchiridion said they would find the cyclops. Fionna got off Cake and they walked together up the bank into the body of the forest, where they came across a small hairy woman and a fair amount of melons.
"Excuse me, friends," the woman said. "You're pretty tall, could you reach up there" – she pointed into the branches of a small tree – "and get my wheel for me? Gotta get these melons home to my husband, you know how it is."
"I don't think I could reach that," Fionna said. The wheel was stuck fairly low on the tree, above Fionna's reach, but the girl could have climbed up if she had needed to. "But my friend here is magic," she reassured the woman. "She can get it."
"How'd you get it up there anyway?" Cake asked, stretching an arm up to grab the wheel.
"It was weird," the woman told them, gratefully taking the wheel from the cat. "I hit a rock and the wheel practically flew off."
Fionna and Cake helped the hairy little woman get all the melons back onto the cart once the wheel was back on, and escorted her home. Her home was in the direction they were going so it made sense to go with the woman in case the cart spontaneously exploded or something.
"Hey Rain," the woman called when they reached the tepee. A little hairy man came out. "These girls helped me get the melons home."
"Thank you," the little man said.
"It wasn't a problem," Fionna assured them. "We're going this way anyway."
"Yeah," Cake chimed in. "We're looking for the cyclops, do you know where she is?"
"Only a bit further on," the woman told them, pointing. "Once you reach a clearing there is a rise, which is actually where the cyclops is sleeping. Also, she's a bit weird about people taking her tears."
"Thanks," Fionna said.
She and Cake followed the small hairy woman's instructions and soon came to a clearing with a rise.
"How do we wake her up?" Cake asked.
Fionna shrugged. "Hey cyclops," she shouted. "Wake up."
The hill stirred and then broke apart as a giant cyclops stood up. She turned around to see Fionna and Cake. Her pupil was the shape of a peanut, Fionna found that to be rather strange. But then again it did appear to be a one eyed giant made from the landscape, so maybe strange was relative.
"You're here for my tears, aren't you?" the cyclops asked, her voice was rather deep. "Well you can't have any, because I never cry."
"I need your tears," Fionna called up. "My friend is dying and I don't know what else to do."
"You're just trying to get me to cry, so you can steal my tears," the cyclops accused Fionna. "But it won't work. I've got a heart of stone, I'm evil."
"Dude, my friend is dying," Fionna shouted. "I need your help."
"You won't get my tears," the cyclops shouted back
"Cake, wrap her up," Fionna instructed. "I have a plan."
Cake stretched her arms and legs around the cyclops until the giant couldn't stand. The pair came crashing down to the ground. Fionna fished in her bag as the giant struggled against Cake, but she was like living rope, she wasn't coming loose.
Fionna finally found an empty jar in her bag and approached the giant's head cautiously. "I need you to cry into this jar," she told the cyclops.
"I won't cry," the cyclops told the girl.
Fionna groaned. "My friend is going to die," she pleaded.
"You're just saying that to make me cry," the cyclops protested. "I told you, I have a heart of stone, I don't care about your friend."
"Gah," Fionna was frustrated. She just lashed out and struck the giant, in the eye. She hadn't meant to do that but the eye just started watering.
"Success," the cat exclaimed.
Suddenly the jar seemed miniscule once filled. The cyclops just kept crying and an idea struck her. She pulled on the giant's head and it came right off, for some reason that was exactly what Fionna had expected.
"Let's go Cake," she told the cat, who extracted herself. "We'll give your head back later," she told the cyclops. "But I need to keep it until my friend gets better."
They retraced their steps passing the bush by the side of the river, who took the opportunity to continue shouting insults, and the road sign, who didn't even talk to them. Cake ran as fast as she could, infected by Fionna's enthusiasm, and it took much less time to reach their home than it had taken to find the cyclops.
Cake stretched them up the ladders into their bedroom where Ice Queen was still sleeping. She looked even worse now, her skin properly grey and her hair starting to change colour. Punching the cyclops in the eye again they poured the tears all over Ice Queen, and the bed. Fionna had been slightly to excited to consider the bed.
Ice Queen started, but it was wrong. She hadn't gone back to blue skin and white hair, she had light brown skin and dark brown hair, and her eyebrows were normal now, which was just weird. She didn't look right at all.
Ice Queen looked human.