June 20th 2009

So I went to see Star Trek with Nate. It was a compromise. If he studied really hard for two hours then I would go see the movie with him. I'm not sure how hard he studied. He's even more clueless about science than I am, but he at least gave it an effort and so I went to the movie. It was pretty good, but I kept having to point out the difference from the original time line and there was stuff in there I didn't understand. What is red matter and why does it make planets implode? I kind of wish the guys had been there to explain it, but I don't think I could see this movie with them. They wouldn't want to take time to explain stuff to me. Sheldon would talk down to me. Howard would use some sexual metaphor and Raj would just look helplessly at me even though he knew the answer. So I guess I'd have liked to see it with just Leonard, but that would have made it seem like a date and I'm not sure if that would be a good thing or a bad thing.

I definitely want to go out with Leonard again, but I'm still worried that he'll get bored with me. The problem is that I get so jealous when I see him with other girls. I totally sabotaged his relationship with that Dr. Stephanie. I mean she helped and she made it really easy, but still Leonard really liked her and I kind of pushed him to break it off. Leonard was so jealous about my little fling with Dave, that I thought he was going to turn green. The worst part about that whole thing is that Leonard knows why I'm not dating him and he seems upset by it. He can't seem to figure out why I go out with the smart guys around him, but don't actually date him. Isn't it obvious? I like intelligent men, I just can't lose my one connection to that world. If Leonard and I go out and he gets bored and breaks it off, what then? I go back to dating guys like Kurt?

I tried talking to Cheryl about all this but she totally doesn't get it. She just tells me to go for it! Everything will work out for the best. This is the same girl who's still hung up on Raj and spent six weeks moping after my Halloween party because he didn't call her. I tried to explain to her that he can't call her because he isn't capable of talking to her, but she doesn't get it. She thinks he's just quiet. Sometimes I think they're perfect for each other because Raj never talks and Cheryl never stops. I think to myself maybe I should get them back together just for my own amusement. God knows Raj needs it, because he can't go through his whole life without ever talking to women, but I just can't doom him to listening to Cheryl carrying on and on for the rest of his life. If only she'd fallen for Howard… Of course listening to Cheryl and Howard…that would be torture, never mind.

So tomorrow is three weeks since the guys left. According to the handy dandy schedule that Leonard made for me, they haven't even started working yet. They'll still be setting up equipment for detecting monopoles. I don't know what monopoles are or why they can only be found at the North Pole, but this seems like a lot of trouble. They're scheduled to start work on Tuesday and I hope they find them right away. Maybe they could come back early.

Oh well, I'm off to bed. I have class tomorrow.

Sleepy Penny