Chapter 6

Clarke

Food. I had just eaten. Nuts. Berries. I'd even swiped some of that plant that tasted like toothpaste on the walk back and shoved it in my pocket without Murphy noticing. My head was feeling clearer than it had in days. Yes I was disgusted with what was happening with Murphy. But I was protecting my friends. I was doing the right thing. This was what was best. He could threaten me all he liked but just before we'd gotten back he suggested that my friend Jasper would look particularly good with fewer fingers. And with Bellamy's damn 'whatever the hell we want' motto he could get away with it too. There was no justice down here. Only power. Murphy had it. I didn't. So I would have to do what I could to save my friends.

I chewed on the leaves that Monty had called mint as I sat on the floor of the dropship. I'd swiped a burnt stick out of one of the fires. That was as good as a charcoal pencil. I could draw. But I couldn't. What was I supposed to draw? Before I'd gotten on that dropship I'd drawn Earth all the time. It was a place full of opportunity, full of hope. But now? Now that I'd gotten down here all I could see were the ways I'd failed, the ways no one listened to me when I tried to help them. The ways I had led Octavia to be attacked by a sea monster, led Jasper to get a spear to the chest, led Charlotte to try to do something unspeakable to Wells. I had failed everyone. And it was all I could do to keep Murphy from outright attacking them. I was a failure. I had no hope. So what was I to draw now?

Finn

What did she want from me? I'd apologized a hundred times. I'd explained so carefully that I hadn't thought I would ever see Raven again, that I really did have feelings for her. And then I'd seen how Bellamy looked at her, how he had feelings for her even if no one else noticed. He'd grabbed her hand as she fell into that pit and she'd mentioned later she thought he was going to drop her, let her die. She somehow didn't noticed that he had been looking at her, his eyes filling with worry, startled into pausing by her very touch. (I would be the first to admit her touching her was electric but really Bellamy? Can't keep it to yourself?) I was lucky she thought he hated her though anyone with eyes could see he'd have fought me for her in an instant if she'd give him the slightest hint that she may be interested.

The funny thing was, I was so focused on staying on Clarke's good side and keeping Bellamy away from her that I hadn't noticed John Murphy of all people sneaking into the mix. And he had somehow stolen her heart. How was that possible? It was John freaking Murphy. And yet they were outright dating. He'd taken her on a moonlit walk a few nights ago and now they'd walk around camp, Clarke weirdly quiet as he held her hand or pulled her close for a quick kiss on the cheek that turned my stomach and made me want to vomit or the ultimate kicker, when he played with the ends of her hair. And she just let him.

It was disgusting.

He was disgusting.

He broke my heart.

Bellamy

Get your God damned, disgusting, bastard fingers off her hair. No. No Bellamy. You are NOT protective of Clarke Griffin. You knew she was annoying but not you know she's also an idiot because she agreed to date John Murphy and Bellamy Blake does not go for idiots. Well, yes he does, but only when they're slutty idiots who won't be pissed when I never talk to them again. You know…low maintenance. And Clarke Griffin was NOT low maintenance. And I was NOT into her. Not anymore. I had a brief crush on her. Which was fine, of course. She was hot. There was nothing wrong with noticing that. I'm sure every guy in camp at some point had taken notice of her.

He's still playing with her hair. I wonder what her hair feels like. Is it as soft as it looks? Is she as soft as she looks? Whatever. It's not like you're ever going to find out. The voice in the back of my mind was getting louder. And more annoying. And it was kind of an asshole. I just had to ignore it. After all, it was kind of right. It wasn't like I was ever going find any of these things out. But you want to Bellamy. Asshole.

Clarke

"Hey Princess." Don't call me that Murphy. "I think some people were a bit…disconcerted by our little date the other night." It wasn't a date Murphy. "So maybe we stick around camp more, no more wandering out and scavenging."

"Murphy, come on, I'm so hungry."

"Yeah? You hungry? 'Cause my friends are pretty hungry too. But not for food. I'd say they're hungry for your friend Octavia. She looks pretty delicious." I stiffened.

"Bellamy would kill you."

"Fine. Monroe, Harper," he paused. "Take your pick Princess. You've got plenty of pretty friends. Friends who I'd sure love to do whatever the hell I want to, not to mention what my friends are thinking. Sure I'm holding them back now, but I don't know how much longer I can keep that up." He took a breath and pulled my chin so that he could stare directly in my eyes. "Let me explain myself here. If you decide to go out on your own, I can't protect you. That's you deciding that you don't need my protection. And if I'm not protecting you then I won't feel obligated to protect your friends. Do you understand?" He was a monster. He was an absolute monster. Why did he do this? Why did he want to do any of these things? What was he getting out of this? "So what do you say, Princess? Are you going to go out on your own? Or will I protect your friends?"

"I think I'll just go to bed." I said, standing up. "After all, it's not like I'm going anywhere else." His smile sickened me and I had to turn away to hide my obvious disgust.

"Good choice, Princess. Goodnight."

Author's Note: What do you think? I know there wasn't as much plot in this one as an exploration of some emotions going on but it was an important thing to have before the next chapter which should have a bit more action:) I hope you are all enjoying this! I would love to hear what you all think! What do you want to see out of this fic? What do you like about it? What do you hate about it? Please tell me! I am trying to improve my writing so any and all criticism is very welcome!

P.S. There will be a bit of a longer wait for the update because the next chapter is going to be long. As in...VERY long.