Hey Guys! Not even one review on this one, but I continue to write because I have so many ideas for this story, so here it is!
"And I never thought a tactful whore like you would come looking for me."
Kathryn and Vivian starred at each for a few seconds before they burst into uncontrollable laughter. Kathryn went over and hugged her dearest sister.
"I've missed you, dearest sister." Kathryn's sister Vivian, was so much like Kathryn and yet so different to Kathryn. They both defied rules set out by society and had the same attitude and that wittiness that could light the whole room up with laughter should they try to be amusing. However, Vivian was different. Where Kathryn had dark blonde hair, Vivian had dark brown hair. Where Kathryn had pale pink lips, Vivian had dark blood red ones. Where Kathryn was more of a traditional beauty, Vivian was the cold, dark and dangerous beauty.
But no matter their differences or their similarities, it couldn't be denied that Vivian and Kathryn were very close. Kathryn would lay down her life for her sister and Vivian would do the same.
"I just returned from London and I saw you weren't at home. I was at the London Institute while I was there and strangely it occurred to me to check here."
"I don't understand. Here. You know I want our family to cut all ties with the Shadowhunters." Kathryn bit her tongue. She should not have said that! Such valuable information about herself. As she glanced around silently, she could almost sigh in relief, only Jem was here and he seemed to be lost in his own world as he was fiddling with a zip on his training gear absentmindedly.
"I don't know. Just a thought, coincidence, I guess."
"I'm touched you tried to find me, I just thought you wouldn't notice I was gone."
"Of course, I noticed! What kind if a sister doesn't notice that her own sister is missing." Kathryn smiled fondly at her sister.
"When I leave, I want you to come with me." Vivian commanded. Before Kathryn could say anything, Jem's smooth voice came from the corner.
"No." One word, but it was so strong and commanding that it threw even Kathryn off guard. So Jem had been listening after all. Vivian however wasn't fazed.
"I'm sorry, what do you mean no? My sister is trapped in this god awful place and she can't leave?! She is being treated like a prisoner, do you know the lifestyle we have? It consists of functions and parties, and she is not able to attend!" Vivian's voice rose higher and higher with each word an yet Jem didn't seem to care. His facial expression seemed passive.
"It is the only place safe enough for her."
"I can keep her safe! I will go to any length to hire the best bodyguards."
"You can't keep her safe from Downworlders!" Jem replied. This shook Vivian as this truth hit her painfully. She as a sister couldn't keep her own sister safe. Vivian turned to Kathryn and said,
"You will call? Won't you?"
Kathryn was so touched. "Of course I will."
"It would be best if I leave now. I can't stand to see you like this but I'll drink away the pain." Kathryn laughed, not happily though, it was a phrase they used. Kathryn hugged Vivian one last time and she left disappearing quickly into the crowd.
As Kathryn closed the door, she kept her facial expression carefully positioned until she got to her room. From there, she let the anger explode inside her. She screamed loudly and stomped over to the perfume and makeup bottles on the vanity she carefully arranged the day she got here. Kathryn pushed the off the vanity, and hearing the cracking of the glass took some of that anger away until something broke inside of her, and Kathryn sank to the floor, sobbing. After about a minute, when some strength came back to Kathryn, she walked over to her suitcase containing alcohol and took out a bottle. Pulling open the cap, Kathryn began to drink. Walking back and collapsing on her bed, Kathryn hoped this would take away her pain.
- The Cure For Love -
When Jem got to his room, he heard a loud agonizing scream. The sadness and anguish in it pierced his soul. Jem rushed out of his room and located that the scream was Kathryn's. Just as he was about to open the door and go inside, he heard the sound of cracking glass and then sobbing and hesitated before leaving. Jem would never have done this were it Tessa or someone else. He probably would have checked to see of they were alright but with Kathryn, it was like stepping in unknown territory. He didn't know what to do.
Kathryn didn't stop crying for over a hour and didn't come out of her room for dinner.
Jem was restless that night. Sophie had delivered food to Kathryn's room but he still worried. The sobbing continued for over two hours and what made Jem feel even more guilty is that they were part of the source of her pain. Although they were merely trying to keep her alive, they were pulling her away from the world she knew and was a part of. The next morning, while Jem sat at the table for breakfast, he found himself glancing uneasily at the door. What was it with her? Jem believed it was his generally caring nature that made him worry about everyone. When Kathryn entered for breakfast, Jem found himself almost sighing in relief. But there was something wrong.
She no longer carried herself with that air of pride and when she sat down, her face was caked with makeup. Jem knew she wore makeup, but she only usually wore a little. Today, however, she wore a lot and her eyes were bloodshot. She seemed to be in some sort of pain and she squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her jaw before opening them. When Kathryn brought her hand to her temples to press them, Jem caught a hint of a bandage as her shirt slid down to reveal a bandaged wrist. Horror and shock filled him as he flashed back to the first day they found her and he and Will saw the cuts that criss-crossed on her wrist to formed a star shaped pattern. From his perspective it looked self-inflicted. He said nothing and his calm demeanor didn't betray his racing thoughts.
They all ate breakfast in silence. Apparently, everyone had heard Kathryn's piercing screams. It was pretty hard not to, their rooms were pretty close. Not even Will and Tessa were their usual giggling selves. Today was Sunday and it was a day off for all of them. No training for Will, Jem or Tessa. Jem looked up from his breakfast only to see that Kathryn had barely touched her food. A lone tear ran down her face cutting through all the makeup. Kathryn caught it with her fingertip. She stared at it for a second before crushing it between her index finger and thumb. She then balled up her fists hard until the knuckles turned white and when she finally opened them, the familiar feeling of sadness welled up inside Jem as he saw how she pressed her nails to her palms ripping open the skin there. Kathryn closed her eyes and sighed and when she opened them, her facial expression was stoic and that air of pride that she didn't have when she walked in was back.
Kathryn straightened her back and glanced around. Jem gaze caught and for that split second she got lost in the the way his eyes glittered of silver before breaking that intimate connection by glancing back around at rest of the table.
Once breakfast was finished, Tessa and Will retired to the library and Jem went to see Kathryn. For some odd reason, he felt the need to make sure she was alright. Making his way to her room, he found she wasn't there but he did know where she could be. His feet took him to the music room. Once close, she heard a soft voice singing.
The song ended on a soft note and when she glanced up and saw Jem at the door, completely in awe of her singing. Jem walked in and Kathryn got up and went to the door. Instead of leaving, she surprised him by only closing it.
"I know you heard me last night. My room is closest to yours." She paused for a moment before saying, "And I know you were watching me this morning." She spoke softly as if all the fight had gone out of her. She didn't wear that impassive expression but merely a broken one. She also had removed all her makeup so what remained was a pale but still extremely beautiful face.
"I heard you and I was watching you." Jem spoke as softly as she did.
"Then I wanted to tell you, that I did not mean for my screams and sobs to be heard. Our walls are quite thick at home so I'm not quite used to volume control." She smiled without happiness at the thought of her home.
"It's alright. I came to see if you were alright."
"I'm fine but I thank you for your concern." Kathryn turned to leave but before she could open the door, Jem grabbed her wrist. Her bandaged one. Kathryn's breathing hitched as she prayed that he wouldn't find out her secret. She didn't pull back or turn or even try to free her wrist. She just stood in silence. Jem could feel the bandage under her shirt. He pulled up the sleeve just a little to reveal a bandage. He stroked the bandage once before peeling off the bandage, slowly.
Kathryn knew that her secret was out once Jem had caught her wrist. Once Jem had taken off the bandage, his guesses were correct. There was one more jagged cut on Kathryn's wrist. Jem sucked in a strangled breath and Kathryn finally tore her wrist from his grasp.
"Have you been cutting your wrists?" Jem voice was soft and full of an emotion that Kathryn recognised as shock. Kathryn didn't answer, she thought his question was rhetorical but as she turned to leave, he grabbed her wrist again.
"Why?" When Kathryn didn't answer again, he whispered, "answer me." He drew Kathryn to the sofa and made her sit down. He didn't sit down, standing over her.
"I said I wanted an answer."
Kathryn didn't have witty comebacks or something smart and confident to say. Jem was the only person who was brave enough to demand something from her. She raised her head from the floor and looked into his eyes. The silver orbs and then back to the floor.
"I miss life. I miss my home. I miss my sister. I miss my life. The one filled with fun and parties. I'm trapped. I feel like a prisoner. I loved my life before this accident. I feel like a bird in a cage. I hate it. I miss everything." Kathryn was panting after her rant and when she dared to look up to his face, she saw awe. He said nothing in response so Kathryn thought it was safe to leave. When she got up, she found herself trapped yet again as Jem grabbed her wrist and pulled her to and enveloped her in a hug. She stood for a moment in shock before wrapping her arms around him.
As soon as she did this, he came back to her mind. She pulled away from abruptly and put her hand to her forehead.
"What am I doing? This is how it happened with him. No, this can't happen again." Kathryn murmured. She looked up at Jem before rushing out. Jem followed her, and when she ran to her room and closed the door, Jem was thankful that none of the bedrooms at the Institute had locks. He waited for about thirty seconds before opening the door.
What Jem saw shocked him. Kathryn had poured herself a drink in an extremely tiny glass. Jem recognised the colour of the drink as Russian Vodka and knew it was very potent. Even Will couldn't drink the stuff quickly. However, Kathryn was different as downed the glass quicker than Jem had seen anyone drink. Kathryn didn't notice Jem. She was in deep thought.
When Jem went in and closed the door, only then when the door made a clicking noise did she snap out of her thoughts and take notice of him. Her eyes widened and she asked,
"Why are you here?"
"I have to make sure you are alright. Drinking is not that sign."
"I'm fine." Kathryn snapped.
"I know from first hand experience that what you look like right now, is not alright."
"I'm alright!" Kathryn insisted.
"If you are as you say alright why are you drinking Russian Vodka?"
"I'm in a celebratory mood." Kathryn said. It was meant to come out sounding sarcastic and witty but came out broken and weak. Even Kathryn cringed at the sound.
"Who is he?" Jem asked, quietly.
"Who?"
"This person you keep talking about. You refer to him as 'he'."
"He is no one you should be concerned about." Kathryn snapped. By this time, Jem had come quite close to where she was sitting and he leaned down right next to her ear and said,
"I doubt that." His breath tickled her ear and if Kathryn turned a little to the left, his lips would meet her cheek. That's when Kathryn sighed and stood up.
"You shouldn't worry about me Mr Carstairs. I can take care of myself. Now please leave, it is horribly improper for a man to be in a woman's rooms without any relation." Kathryn didn't turn, but by the click of the door, she knew he had left.
Kathryn spent the rest of the morning familiarizing herself with the Institute. She only hoped she never ran into Jem. He intrigued her, but it was dangerous. Especially after what happened to her one year ago. At breakfast, they all ate in silence. Tessa an Will had gone back to their chatty selves and Kathryn didn't dare look at Jem. When lunch was over, Charlotte addressed her,
"Kathryn I have a feeling you might be feeling you might be a little trapped." Kathryn sat speechless. Did Jem betray her to Charlotte? "I know how it feels to be cut from a style of life so I will be giving some freedom. You are able to go to parties and functions on one condition. One of us must always be with you."
Kathryn was overjoyed. She was allowed out of this place! "Thank you Charlotte. I really appreciate this." It was the first thanks Kathryn had said to a Shadowhunter.
"I understand you have a party to attend to tonight so Jem has volunteered to take you." Charlotte went on. That confirmed it! Jem told Charlotte! But even that couldn't overthrow Kathryn's happiness. She was going to a party. Vivian was going to be there! All her friends were going to be there!
Suddenly, Kathryn's day got a lot better.