A Star For Nick
As Lourdes made her way down the sidewalk, Nick stumbling at her heels, Lourdes stopped dead in front of a shop window, her eyes widening at what she was seeing, every flat-screen television on sale showing the same thing over and over again. Nick crashed into her, brow furrowing, only to freeze as he watched the scene unfold. It was a breaking news story, covering a pile-up not far from where they were, Lourdes's shaking hand finding Nick's as they watched the cops try to take down a man attacking them, his teeth snapping, hands becoming claws, trying to rake their flesh. She was vaguely aware of a small crowd gathering around them, whispers becoming silence as the cops unloaded several rounds into the man's chest, only for him to stagger to his feet, Nick exhaling sharply, his fingers knotting through hers, flinching when a cop delivered a kill-shot straight to the man's head.
"Come on, Lo," Nick whispered, dragging her away as the crowd erupted into chaos, the newsreader returning back onscreen, arguing with the other anchor, the scene replaying behind them.
"It's true," Lourdes breathed, her head spinning, "it's really happening."
"How long have you known?" Nick asked, limping down the sidewalk, hauling Lourdes along with him.
"For – for a while," Lourdes stuttered, "when the flu outbreak started - Tobias began looking up stuff online, but I thought it was bullshit, I – I didn't believe him. Then I seen this video and I started to get second thoughts" - She stopped, forcing Nick to stop, tearing her hand out of his. "But I think I knew all along - that I – I knew, deep down," she said, her voice cracking, "I knew without knowing. I didn't believe, but I knew, and then the church – all that stuff you said, and I knew" -
- "I know you need to take a chill pill, Lo," Nick said, holding his sweating hands up in almost surrender, even though he was on the edge of freaking out as well. He refused to remember what had happened in the church, but hell was at his heels, Nick unable to outrun it.
"You want me to chill out when the world is coming to an end!?" Lourdes said incredulously. "Are you insane!?"
"No, I just want you calm the fuck down!" Nick yelled, making her flinch.
Lourdes just stared at him. "I'm going home," she said suddenly, startling him, "I can't be here – I shouldn't be here – I need to find my mom – Chris..." She made to turn and leave, but Nick grabbed her arm, his grip hurting her.
"Don't, Lo," he said, his face bloodless, "I need you."
"You just need me to babysit you," Lourdes snapped, "so you don't collapse before your next hit. Well, here's a newsflash, Nick, fuck your habit. I'm not going to sit in on some drug-deal" -
- "Lo, please," Nick said, feeling the world whirl around him, the sweat beading on his brow, "please."
Lourdes bit her lip, half turning away from him. "Okay, fine, I'll stay," she said, fighting the tears springing to her eyes, "but after this, I'm gone, do you understand?"
"Yeah, I understand," Nick lied, humouring her, only understanding the chemical high he craved.
Lourdes trailed after Nick, unable to believe what she was doing, only knowing that she was completely out of her depth, yet here she was, about to observe a drug-deal without dialling 911. Only Nick could do this, refusing to allow the end of the world to come between him and his next hit. And for all his talk about not taking her money, somehow she was footing the bill for his narcotic frolics. Exhaling sharply, she hesitated before following Nick into the nearly empty cafe, the waitresses gathered around a customer and his cell, arguing over the news footage, the customer saying it was obviously fake, the waitresses either on the fence or adamant it was real, that it was the end of days.
"There's my saviour," Nick breathed, making a limping beeline for a skip-hatted figure sitting at a table by the far window, Lourdes doing a double-take, recognizing the figure as none other than Calvin, one of Nick's old school friends, remembering him from Sunday brunches and neighborhood barbecues when Travis and Madison had first started dating.
"Cal?" she said in disbelief. "He's your drug-dealer?" Calvin was often held up by Madison as an example Nick should follow, extolling his many virtues, how charming he was, how level-headed, holding down a steady job and helping out his parents.
"What you bring your bitch along here for?" Calvin said coolly, glancing at Lourdes, eying her though she was a piece of shit on the bottom of his exorbitantly priced designer shoe.
"She's not – look, I'm sorry to put you in this position," Nick said, ramming his shaking hands into his jacket pockets.
"Sit," Calvin said abruptly, motioning for Nick to take the seat opposite.
Lourdes just remained standing, Calvin's insult oddly not affecting her, even the knowledge he was a secret drug-dealer suddenly no longer mattering. The dead were walking, and the world went on, Lourdes unable to grasp this concept, how it was even possible.
"Her dad and your mom came sniffing around my parents' place," Calvin said, leaning back in his chair, "looking for you. Said you bailed out of the hospital, went AWOL."
Nick glanced down at the Formica covered table, eyes scrunching up the corners.
"Can't have that, Nick," Calvin said, shaking his head, "can't have people coming to me, looking for you."
"They don't know what you do, Cal," Nick said, leaning forwards, his dark hair falling into his eyes, his leg ticcing under the table.
"Then why is she here?" Calvin said, jerking his head at Lourdes. "She your witness? Is this some sort of set-up?"
"God, no!" Nick exclaimed, ramming his hands even further into his pockets. "I – I swear I – I would never tell anybody what you – you do." The last word was uttered quietly, Nick's voice trailing off into almost nothing.
Calvin just looked at him, eyes unreadable, face deliberately blank. "You hungry?" he said suddenly, glancing over at the waitresses still gathered around the customer's cell, brow furrowing slightly at the sight, Lourdes realising he didn't know what was unfolding outside. "We need to order something" -
- "No, I just – I just need to know what you gave me back at the church," Nick said in a rush, his gaze holding Calvin's, almost accusing. "Was it laced? Was it PCP?"
"I never 'gave' you anything" -
- "What was it, man!?"
"You got a complaint about my shit, then, huh?" Calvin hissed, leaning across the table. "Want a refund?"
"Cal" -
- "Last thing I need is my clients pissed and paranoid – so do you seriously think I would 'lace' my products, tamper with my merchandise, just to fuck you over!?"
"No, I don't!" Nick protested, wincing.
"Then where's your head at?" Calvin asked quietly.
"I can't get it out of my head," Nick said, his face contorting, like he was trying not to cry, "the church – it was a bloodbath, a fucking horror show, man. Gloria killed two people" -
- "Gloria's ninety pounds soaking wet," Calvin said in disbelief, "barely strong enough to spike a vein."
"I need to get it out of my head," Nick said from between gritted teeth, "I need to forget."
"You're not making any sense, Nicky," Calvin said, looking at Nick like he was mad.
"I know," Nick said, suddenly laughing almost hysterically, "I know!"
"He's crashing," Lourdes said in an undertone, making Calvin glance curiously at her, "it's been two days since his last hit - he needs a fix. I'll – I'll pay."
Calvin studied her for a moment, brow furrowing slightly. "Look at little Lourdes all down with the lingo," he said slowly, "last thing I heard you were running for class president, yet here you are, trying to broker a drug deal."
"She's changed," Nick said, scrunching up his eyes again, "she gets it, what we do."
Calvin just nodded, eying Lourdes appraisingly. "Then let's do it," he said, getting to his feet, "let's hook you up and sort you out."
"Your mom said you had an accident," Calvin said, glancing at Nick, before casting a look at Lourdes in the rear-view mirror, flashing a smile at her, one she unwillingly returned.
"Yeah, I didn't look both ways," Nick said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, not liking the way Calvin kept eying Lourdes like she was a piece of meat for his delectation. Believing her to have broken free of society's shackles, his entire attitude towards Lourdes had changed, and not for the better.
"Cops talk to you?" Calvin asked, swinging the steering wheel round, scattering pigeons to the sky as he drove through a small tunnel.
"They asked a lot of questions," Nick said, exhaling sharply, "but I told them where to get off."
Calvin just nodded, before pulling into the LA river culvert, parking the car by a bridge, trains rattling past on distant tracks. Whistling, Calvin got out before going round the back of the car, throwing open the boot, Lourdes following him, pulling out her purse as she moved, her heart half sinking at handing over her hard earned money, but the other half of her didn't care, not when the world was ending.
Nick glanced out the car window, his mind still in a stupor, only to see Calvin pull out a gun from under his jacket, Lourdes standing with her back to him, counting out greenbacks, completely oblivious. For a moment, Nick didn't understand, only for reality to rush at him, nearly knocking him over -
"Lo, run!" he yelled, throwing himself forwards, making Calvin whirl around, caught offguard, only for Nick to send him flying sideways, hitting the car, Nick pinning him against it, surprisingly strong despite the state he was in.
Lourdes just stood there, paralysed with shock, watching as Nick and Calvin struggled, Nick trying to wrestle the gun out of Calvin's hand, the two of them becoming entangled in a bizarre embrace, Nick suddenly screaming like a madman, a single gunshot suddenly echoing through the air, Calvin slumping to the ground, Nick staggering backwards, crimson covering the concrete.
Oh my soul rise up & go beyond, beyond
to what you know