A/N: Fairy Tail does not belong to me in any way, shape, or form. Thank you.
Natsu was grinning. Cobra turned his eye to him, lips pulling into a frown. "Don't even think about it, Pyro."
"Hey, it'll be fine, Snake-breath!" The pinket cheered, but the Poison Dragon Slayer knew better.
He had heard them, after-all. He just didn't think they'd actually be stupid enough to go through with it—but this was Natsu and Meredy they were talking about.
"Erza—" Cobra cheerfully pounced, taking his fellow Slayer down with him. The psychotic redhead turned to look over at them curiously, a brow raised. Natsu was effectively muzzled and pinned to the ground, Cobra holding him down. He offered her a fanged grin.
"…and what are you doing, Cobra?" Jellal's gaze was boring into him and Cobra didn't need his magic to know what his leader wanted.
"Bonding." A smile immediately graced her features and it was a real struggle not to shudder at the scenes going through her head. As if he and the Pyro-Idiot would—Mavis save them all!—do half of those. That camping one wasn't too crazy, but, honestly? Cooking together? Who in their right mind would let the idiot near a kitchen, much less cook?
Oh. Right. This was Fairy Tail. They never learned their lesson.
"How commendable, Cobra. I like seeing everyone get along. Perhaps you and Natsu will be as good as friends as he is with Gray."
'Not likely.'
"Erza~?" Meredy drew in close on the other side of Jellal, smiling. Cobra growled. Damn it all, he couldn't grab the both of them! "We should all—"
"Meredy, don't you fucking—"
"—spend the night together! You know, camping!"
"Damn it, Meredy!" He heard Erza's excitement, saw how her eyes glittered at the prospect.
"What a wonderful idea, Meredy. I'd hate to break them up, just when they're becoming friends. Jellal, we shall spend the night together." While those listening in collectively lost their minds—including their fearless leader—Cobra pushed Natsu's face into the dirt, rising and stalking towards the blonde, who had been smirking damn near the entire time.
"The hell at you giggling at, Blondie?"
"Aw, done bonding already?" He huffed, narrowing his gaze on the road ahead of them. "Mm, camping together, huh?" she set her sights on the rest of Crime Sorciere, smiling as she took them in. Richard was having a field day with this, spinning as he spouted words about love, Gray and Sawyer inching away from him while simultaneously trying to avoid Erza, who now realized her mistake.
Wendy and Carla were flushed pink, Sorano patting the youngest Sayer's back, a grin on her lips. Meredy was openly sobbing something about a 'Jerza' and Midnight continued to snore away on his carpet. Natsu had risen by then and was trying to figure out what all the fuss was about, Happy filling him in.
Cobra raised a brow as her thoughts went to her couch back in her apartment. He smirked. "Don't like camping, Princess?"
"No, I'm just curious. Does this mean I get to sleep with you?"
The silence was profound.
The Poison Dragon Slayer, Dokuryuu no Cobra, was speechless. Did she just…? In-front of everyone…? She was joking, wasn't she?
Richard's sob of, "That's love, oh yeah~!" opened the floodgates. Natsu and Gray were instantly upon him, rage in their eyes while Titania was unsteady in the background, swaying lightly, cheeks as red as her namesake. Wendy shrieked, covering her eyes while Sorano practically collapsed against the younger girl, laughing hysterically. Meredy could only stare at them in wide-eyed wonder, but her mind what a whole other matter he wished he was never privy to. Sawyer looked mildly alarmed and Midnight even propped open an eye, blearily asking what was going on.
"There goes Titania, catch her, Boss," Cobra was kind enough to give their leader a warning as the woman tilted dangerously to the side, ducking away from the two Fairy Tail mages. "She was joking, for fuck's sake, she wasn't serious!"
"Luce?!"
"Lucy, is he telling the truth?!"
She was too busy on the ground, laughing and holding at her stomach to answer.
Once that mess was all cleared up, it was decided that setting up camp a little early was in order—that is to say, Jellal decided that Erza really should be resting and called a halt. It was agreed and Lucy took over, gently calling for Erza to wake up since they would be setting up camp. It was a tough go, but she kept at it and eventually, her promise that Erza could be Maid of Honor at the wedding awakened the wrathful spirit of Titania.
Jellal, accordingly, assured her that nothing was going on between the two and Lucy collaborated, stating it was just a joke.
And with that episode over, Cobra sat as far away from the blonde as possible, promising himself that he was never using her couch again. She was evil, pure and simple, and he did not need that kind of negativity in his life. No thank you.
Dinner was better than the independent guild was used to. Erza's motto in life was "Always be prepared" which included not only her stage costumes and props in her luggage but a huge variety of food stuffs. They were thankful for the break in pattern and expressed as much.
"Honestly, Jellal, we are friends. Such a meal between friends is not misplaced," she chided when he mentioned she didn't have to do that—his guildmates loudly disagreed. "I suppose we should turn in early as well. I would like to travel further tomorrow." They groaned and when her dark eyes found her comrades, they immediately quieted, looking away. "Good. Then we're agreed."
Murmurs were her response.
"Lucy," Meredy sent her a pleasant smile. "Erik typically sleeps by—"
"Meredy, that is not appropriate!" Jellal coughed, red tinging his own cheeks as Erza stiffened. Lucy cast them curious looks.
"Well, I have to sleep somewhere, don't I?"
Titania was going to murder him. The crazy redhead was legitimately going to kill him.
But, ever prepared for every situation, Erza produced tents from nowhere. "S-sep-separate tents! Girls here, boys there! Lucy, Wendy, come!" She dragged her female companions to their designated tent, moving stiffly as she tried to stay upright. Sorano and Meredy followed shortly thereafter.
"Don't worry, Erik, we'll put in a good word for you~" the Angel mage snickered.
He would kill them all, starting with the blonde.
Hooray, part two~
Kinda the idea I had, but it kinda morphed into something else… I could totally add another chapter for this, but I could always leave it up to your guys' imaginations~!
So, until the next time~!