*note* If you're a Valduggery lover, you'll probably find the ending of this chapter VERY fustrating! I know I did!

The hatchback pulled into a parking space outside the hotel, streets empty at this time of night. Skulduggery got out of the car and opened the boot, fishing out the cases. Valkyrie let herself out of the car and looked up at the hotel.

'This is where we'll be staying?'

'Yes.'

'Tanith wasn't lying-this looks amazing!' Skulduggery shrugged.

'She's getting married, of course her and Ghastly are going to splash out a bit.'

'Yup, especially since they're, you know, going to spend their honeymoon here, you get me, eh, eh, nudge, nudge, wink, wink?' She nudged his side with her elbow, wiggling her eyebrows. He looked at her. If he had a face, it would be slightly disgusted.

'I've known Ghastly for just under 400 years, I did not need a thought of him doing…that!' She laughed and mockingly gasped.

'Skulduggery Pleasant! How dare you suggest such a thing! I was talking about them playing Scrabble.' He sighed and wheeled his suitcase towards the entrance.

'Come on Lady Chatterley.'

'What's that?' He stopped walking.

'Have you never read it?'

'No-why, what's it about?' He hesitated, choosing his words carefully.

'Don't read it.'

'Why not?'

'You're too young.' She caught up with him.

'…I'm twenty-two, Skul.'

'Er…'

'I'm intrigued now!' He started walking again.

'We'll talk about this later.' He said, and activated his façade.

The hotel room was beautiful; white walls, white carpets, blue curtains and pillows, a blue chair tucked into a white desk, an ensuite bathroom, a large blue sofa and two white beds with a map of Australia framed above one of them.

Skulduggery looked around and set his case down. Valkyrie whistled appreciatively at the room and shut the door, dropping her bag onto one of the beds.

'Niiice.' She said, falling purposefully on the bed her bag was on. Skulduggery nodded and deactivated his façade.

'It is rather pretty.' He sat on the edge of the desk.

'Anyway, back to Lady Chatterley.' Valkyrie said. Skulduggery gasped and almost fell off the desk.

'What!' Valkyrie propped herself up on her elbows to look at him.

'You said you were going to explain what Lady Chatterley's about.'

'Right…' He opened his mouth to start talking, and then looked at her.

'Can you um…it would be a bit…wrong, if I'm trying to explain Lady Chatterley to you, and you're lying on a bed.'

'Why?' Skulduggery inhaled air deeply.

'Never mind.' He coughed and hesitated.

'Lady Chatterley's Lover is about, from what you can probably guess, Lady Chatterley and her lover, Oliver, who's the gamekeeper. Basically, Lady Chatterley falls in love with him.' She nodded approvingly.

'Sounds good-I might read it.' Skulduggery took his hat off and set it aside.

'Um, I still wouldn't read it until you're my age.'

'And how old are you?'

'If I wasn't a skeleton, I would be in my early 30's.'

'Okay…why shouldn't I read it until I'm 30?' Skulduggery ground his teeth together.

'…The reason why Lady Chatterley's Lover is such a recognised book is, apart from it being a classic piece of literature, because some of the key parts are very…ahead of the writers time.' Valkyrie raised an eyebrow.

'Meaning?' Again, he chose his words carefully.

'Lady Chatterley and Oliver…have…um...'

'…Sex?'

'Yes…multiple times, very graphically.' Valkyrie rolled her eyes.

'Is that it?'

'Um…Yes?'

'God you're prudish!' He slipped off the desk and put his hands in his pockets.

'Okay then.' She grinned at him and unzipped her suitcase, searching for her pyjamas. When she found them, she held them in her arm and stood off the bed.

'I'm getting changed now.'

'Okay.' She waved airily with her free hand at him and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

….

Valkyrie emerged from the bathroom wearing her black short sleeve t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms. Skulduggery looked up at her when she returned. She grinned at what he was wearing.

'What?' He said. He was wearing red checked long pyjamas which hung off him, giving him absolutely no shape at all. Valkyrie fought back a laugh.

'Nothing.'

'Then why are you laughing?'

'I'm not.'

'…It's because I'm wearing this, isn't it?' She burst out laughing. He sighed.

'What's wrong with it?' Valkyrie didn't answer, she was too busy laughing silently, doubled over, eyes closed. When she opened her eyes again, she squealed and jumped back. Skulduggery was pulling his pyjama top up, over his skull. Valkyrie quickly covered her eyes with her hand.

'Skulduggery!'

'What?'

'Why the hell are you stripping in front of me?'

'It's not like I've got anything underneath, for god's sake-anyway, it's boiling, it's Australia, and you don't like my pyjamas.' She dared look, to see Skulduggery hunkered over his suitcase, rooting around for one of his books. When he stood up, Valkyrie stared at his ribcage. He looked at her.

'Well I don't feel self-conscious at all.' She sighed and looked at his eye-sockets.

'Sorry…what's it feel like? I never asked.'

'You mean, 'what's it like being a skeleton.''

'Yeah.' He shrugged.

'You get used to it.' Valkyrie shook her head.

'But it must feel so empty, so alien; I mean, you've got gaps in your torso in between your ribs-what does that feel like?'

'Originally, it was a bit…frightening…being what I am now, but it's…'

'Go on.' He sighed.

'…I guess, me being like this, it's always a reminder that my family are gone.' Valkyrie felt her eyes sting with fresh tears. She chewed her lip and turned her head to the ceiling. Skulduggery cocked his head.

'Valkyrie?'

Valkyries breathing quickened as a tear made its way down her cheek. Skulduggery threw the book he was holding on the desk and sat her down on one of the beds, sitting next to her.

'What's all this?' He cooed, putting a skeletal arm around her shoulders. She leaned against his chest, sobbing quietly.

'I…feel…so sorry for…you!' He laughed airily and pulled her into a hug.

'Oh Valkyrie!'

'I'm sorry.'

'No, don't be.'

'It's just that you've been through so much pain and, and misery, and…'

'Sh, it's okay now; I'm fine, aren't I?'

'You're a bloody skeleton!'

'But this is who I am now-I wouldn't be me if I wasn't a skeleton.'

'No, but your family and…'

'Don't you worry about me, I'm fine! Think about it-I'm in Australia, my two good friends are getting married, I have a Bentley-'

'Back in Ireland.'

'-Back in Ireland; I've got a fantastic job which I thoroughly enjoy…and I've got the bestest friend I could ever have sitting right next to me.' She parted from him and smiled.

'Am I your best friend?' He nodded, hesitated, and then tucked some stray hair behind her ear, making her blush.

'You've always been a very important part of my life, Valkyrie Cain.' He said in an almost whisper.

She breathed deeply and leaned closer to him, Skulduggery putting a hand on her cheek, inches away from her face, Valkyries eyes closing slowly…

And then her phone rang.

Told you.