Chapter Six

5:57 PM. MALFOY MANOR. GETTING READY FOR DATE WITH WHAT'S-HER-NAME.. OH, YES.. PANSY.

"Draco, baby- YEAH! You're ever so pretty! What I wouldn't give to make out with you! Bum ba da dada dah! Draco, angel- SWING IT! You're awfully sexy! I feel you're hexing me when I look at you! Dah!"

I cheered and applauded my newest song about me. I'd have to write that one down.
I was standing before the full- length three way mirror in my room, staring at myself in a very well- constructed outfit: A sleek black suit jacket, matching dress pants, and a gray sweater which brought out my dazzling eyes.

Hopefully Hermione would like it.

Wait...

That's not my girlfriend..

Parkin- something...?

PANSY!

Yes! Five hundred points to Malfoy, the Mudblood- Lusting Beauty in the Expensive Dragon Hide Shoes!
Hmm. Dragon hide. For some reason, that made me think of Hermione and her hotness. I was really hooked. It felt nice to think about the Mudblood. Even nicer perhaps than Lesbian Witches in my pillow case. (maybe not)

But I was beginning to worry that I would call Girlfriend 'Hermione' by mistake.. I would feel really bad for Hermione if I did that.I mean, Pansy really has nothing in common with her, and as you know, that's not a very good thing, whether we're dealing with brains or beauty.

But Pansy was a slut, and is a slut, and will always be one too, so for the moment, I had to pretend I was interested. That's all you have to do for girls like Pansy. So thick, you could point your wand at her ear and curse her, and the curse would just shoot sparks out of her other ear.

There came a loud knock at my door.

"DRACO?" snarled the voice of my loving Daddy.

He was in a bad mood because his therapist had given him some new medication that was supposed to make him happier. He doesn't like being happy very much. He poured it all out into our bushes. Then, he was angry because he realised that the medication was extremely expensive. He had a conversation by way of fireplace with his doctor, and Mother told on him about the bushes. He needed the medication more than ever, now.

"Yes?" I said innocently, not wanting angry Father to suddenly read my mind, and know that I was thinking naughty things about Mudbloods.

He opened the door. "Your girlfriend is here. Her chest is, once again, inflated. I asked her how she did it. " He smirked. Apparently, that made him happy.

"She's awfully cute," he went on to say. "It's fortunate that you have good taste in women, or I would never have anything to look at."

"I HEARD THAT, LUCIUS MALFOY!" screamed Mother's voice from down the hall.Ouch.

"Oh, look," Father said dryly. "It's Nurse DoGood."

Mother appeared in front of my door as well. "Listen to me, Lucius. I want you to be fully cured, and it isn't going to happen if you drop perfectly good medication out in the yard! Perhaps it would have helped you. Maybe, it could have cleared away some of our problems. But NO. You're just so ignorant that you can't bear to think that someone else is right about you."

"The word is arrogant," Father snapped. "And, nooo, I am not arrogant!"

There was a silence.

"Look, parents," I said slowly, turning around to face them. "I was just embarrassed in front of half England's women today, because YOU TWO wanted EDIBLE UNDERWEAR," I hissed quietly. "If you aren't going to use it, I might as well die, because you made me go out into the cold and purchase your romantic, sickening, crap. Now, excuse me, I have a date with Her- PANSY," I declared, shoving them apart, and walking down the hall.

"Now, son. You do not need to overreact," Father called after me.

"Freaks," I exclaimed, as I continued down the hallway.

"Have fun!" Mother added.

I heard them continue bickering as soon as I got on the staircase.

Lord. I HATE when they get so angry. Starting up heated arguments about things they don't really care about anyway. It happens almost every night. Then, the next morning, it's like it's all solved and we're a big happy family, and it's all great and lovely. Nutters, I'm telling you.

I pounded down the staircase, still a bit annoyed, and nearly rammed into Girlfriend.

She squealed and giggled. "Heyyyy, sweeetheearrt!" She wrapped her arms around me, knocking the wind out of my chest. I could feel crinkled paper against me.

"Hello," I croaked painfully, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

I got off the stairs and she grinned at me. "You look very nice," she observed.

I studied her. "You too," I admitted. It is true, she has a very pretty face, with round eyes and nice lips. But I couldn't help comparing her to Hermione now.

"Are you all right, Draco? I heard your parents yelling. Are you all right?" she repeated, all ready snuggling into my arms, and staring up at me like she would burst into tears if I was ever hurting in any way.

I nodded. "I'm fine," I declared, forcing a smile and a laugh. "They weren't really yelling.. Just arguing, you know?"

She beamed. "Good!" She took my hand, as we headed for the exit.

"Your Father is ever so nice," she told me excitedly, which really surprised me.

"Why?" I asked in confusion.

"He told me I was pretty, and then he asked how I got such nice breasts."

Cheek! Oh, disturbing! Get away from my girlfriend, damn it!

"What breasts?" I inquired without thinking.

"What?" she snapped, eyes growing extremely wide.

"Er.. I said, nice dress!" I put in quickly.

She smiled sweetly. "Oh! Thank you." She giggled. "But it's called a skirt, silly!"

Oh my.