"Dan, Dan, Dan." I hear shouting, I open my heavy eyelids.
Jude is towering above me, I focus and remember where I am, still lying on the coolor floor. I must look a sight, coated all over in dry blood, tears have made my eyes puffy and I have a knife lying beside me, I must look like a cannibal.
"Dan, speak to me." He waves his hand over my eyes.
"Phil." I croak "Phil." I sit up and suddenly my head feels really heavy.
Jude grabs me and helps me up; he carries me into the bar and sits me down on a stool.
"Are you ok?" He looks at my face.
"Phil, Phil" I mutter his name, still feeling lightheaded. My head starts to fall forwards.
"Dan, I need to make sure you are ok." He shouts, it startles me, I suddenly start to focus.
I consider telling the truth for a moment, but I know that he probably doesn't want anyone to know about what happened. I am crap a lying so I will try to be vague for Phil's sake.
"Phil had an accident with the knife last night and um I called the ambulance, I am phobic of blood so I passed out after the ambulance had erm, taken him away."
Jude fills a glass full of water and tells me to down it, he also gives me so asprin. Shit, shit tablets.
I don't want to tell him but I can't take pills without something to eat straight after. Shit.
I drink some water and I see his eyes burning into mine, he looks at the asprin sitting on the bar.
"Take the pills, it will really help Dan." He gestures.
"Look, is someone trying to get in the door?" He turns to the door and I quickly shove the pills in my pocket. I take a massive gulp of water and he turns back.
"They should make you feel much better."
"What?"
"The pills you just took."
Crap, "Yes."
I look down at my hands, they look like a murders.
"I think I am going to go clean up in the cooler." I get up from my stool. I suddenly feel lightheaded again and begin to fall but rest my hand on the stool.
"Don't worry Dan, just go home and take the night off." He rests a hand on my shoulder.
"Really?" I look round at him.
"Yes, you need to rest, and clean up your face, you look like a vampire." He laughs. "Will you be ok getting back?"
"I think so, thanks Jude."
"No problem, just be in tomorrow ok?"
I grab my jacket and leave the bar, the outside air is hot against my cold cheeks, I feel like all the life has drained out of me.
I suddenly look over and see people whispering to each other, some stop and stare and other bust out laughing.
I look down at my jeans, my shirt, my hands and I am caked head to toe in Phil's blood. I must look like such a freak. I can feel my cheeks start to burn. I can only imagine what my face must look like; I can feel my hair is hard and sticky with the substance.
I quickly put the hood over my face and do up my jacket. I walk in the shadows and as swiftly as possible get to the tube station.
My mind flicks back to Phil's face just before he became unconscious, the image is so scarring and cold it won't leave my thoughts, I don't know if it was his dead expression or the arm pumping with blood, reaching out for my assistance, but I know that my destination is not my apartment.
I run out of the station and begin to pound down the Soho streets, my hood falls down but I don't care, I carry on running, I can see people stop and stare, but I don't care. My face is scrunched up in effort, my feet still carry on pacing through the alley ways, I can feel my heart beating faster but my pace increases. Tears begin to spring from my newly dry eyes, I can feel them against my flushed cheeks.
People carry on gasping, they carry on whispering, and they carry on pointing.
I carry on running.
I reach my destination. I run into the hospital and pace until I reach the desk, I look around. I know I must look unstable, but I have to get to him, I have to find Phil.
"Phil" I scream.
A nurse looks over and run towards me.
"Phil." I run past them through the double doors.
"Phil." Tears are streaming down my face and my lungs are burning. I am exhausted.
Suddenly I feel a wave come over me, I crumple onto the floor. Screaming and stammering.
"PHIL."
A nurse runs towards me and grabs me.
I struggle away from her grip and try to get up, I can feel my eyes closing, and I can feel my head rolling back.
"PHIL."
And then I black out.