Hobbies
AN: Again, I own nothing. Thanks for the reviews and faves so far! Again, I'm taking requests for future chapters if you have a plot idea you'd like to see. Please R&R.
Lightning had seen a lot in her time as a L'Cie and then as a servant to Etro.
Monsters, demons, and even an angel or two.
But that legion of weirdness did not equal the sight before her now.
There was her girlfriend of two months, in nothing but her underwear, watching the most inane of television shows: Billy the Adamantoise. Fang looked as entranced with the program as its target audience of tiny tots, a giddy smile on her face as she actually began to sing the ending song.
Things got worse when Fang got up and did the Billy dance which consisted of adopting a wide stance and stomping like an Adamantoise while singing the song even louder.
By the time the program was over, Fang shut off the television and finally noticed Lightning watching her.
"Mornin' Lightning."
There was not a hint of shame in Fang's voice, despite no doubt realizing that she had been observed the whole time.
"You can't just say that after I catch you watching a kid's show!" Lightning said, storming in and sitting on Fang's lap.
"What's wrong with Billy? The big guy is adorable and quite smart too."
"Fang...grown women don't watch those shows unless a kid asks them to watch it with them."
"Well I enjoy it. Besides, you need something silly like that in your life or else you'll go crazy."
Lightning decided to kiss Fang senseless, hoping that it might just make her forget all about her adoration for Billy and his sanity-reducing song.
Fang accepted the kiss for a bit but before Lightning could really develop it, she broke it off, turning on the television and actually squealing as another Billy episode started.
Lightning promptly made a noise between a snort and a grunt and stormed away, slamming the door to their bedroom.
She needed to be alone and try and make sense of what she had just gone through.
An hour later, Fang shut off the TV for good and decided to go pick up that aborted kiss from earlier. She was just about to enter the bedroom when she heard a voice coming from the living room.
Moving towards the source, she found Lightning on the living room floor, several dolls all around. They were quite well sculpted, Fang noticed, and Lightning picked up one.
"Now Village Idiot Fang, I hope you realize how silly it is to enjoy Billy the Adamantiose," Lightning said, voice adopting a much deeper tone to portray some evil character.
Another doll was picked up and a lighter tone was used. "I don't know I-"
The doll fell to the ground, dropped by a blushing Lightning as she realized she had been spotted.
"Aren't you a little old to be playing with dolls?" Fang said, her tone as serious as Lightning had ever heard it.
"I-that is...these are action figures Fang, not dolls!"
Fang nodded, sitting down in front of the large collection Lightning had, picking one up and observing it. The figure was a bloated pig-woman with an ogre's head on a pike held in her hooves.
"Who is this?"
"That's Belmora, the mercenary."
Fang pointed to another figure, placing the one in her hand back on the ground. Lightning told her, her blush receding as she explained the expanded mythology surrounding her action figures.
Thirty minutes into this, Lightning stopped informing Fang and hugged her.
"I'm sorry for getting on your case earlier. It's just...what I do is a hobby and clearly better than Billy."
"Are you saying that these dolls could beat Billy? He's got the power of love and friendship on his side!"
"They're action figures, not dolls, and yes, that's what I'm saying. Billy could be easily destroyed with one wave of Schmendrick the Magician's fingers!"
Fang recognized the danger of continuing down this road and decided to distract Lightning by kissing her, which Lightning returned with a bit of tongue for good measure.
By the time the exhausted pair slumped together under the covers hours later, their argument had been forgotten and Fang had gotten the perfect idea for Lightning's birthday present.