((Sure would be a shame if you messed this up.))

Mandy jeered at me for what must have been about the fifth time since my meeting, as I jotted down notes and equations from the whiteboard. I simply ignored her and said nothing as I flipped notebook pages and pretended to pay some attention as her teacher droned on and on about who knows what. Most human mathematics were mere basics to most Yeerks, it wasn't uncommon for Controllers to be found looking even more bored with the subject than most humans were.

Still, my boredom with math was the farthest thing from my mind. Currently my mind was troubled by the thoughts of my assignment, but it wasn't so much as the outcome of my personal failure that bothered me. If I failed this assignment, the worst they could have done was demote me, since I was merely a recommendation. I had not promised to be a spy, I had not promised to be an upper class informant and nor had I encouraged or claimed the title from my diminutive status. It was thoughts of those begotten Yeerks that troubled me. For the moment I didn't care if my host felt my emotions or not, thoughts of those Yeerks, those innocent soldiers, my mind was riddled with the demise they had met at RUBICON's hands. The only possible demise they could have met.

Kandrona starvation.

It was possibly the most maddening, the most horrible fate that could befall a Yeerk in any instance. Even the sheer thought of it sent the familiar pangs of hunger echoing and resonating through us. Eight dead. Eight Yeerks, eight innocents dead already, at the gnarled hands of some mockingly divine retribution flung on us. The very thought of meeting my fate at the hands of these murderers cast me silent in self-possessive fear. Morbid inquiries stormed inside me; what would appear during my Fugue? What would I unknowingly unleash into my host before I died? How painful was Kandrona starvation truly, and how would I know the end came if I were flooded with memories?

The thought of my body writhing and twisting in hunger and thirst all at once, drying, screaming and shriveling up drowned in both my agony and my final memories, isolated, without an understanding of hope, it cast my eyes to the floor unmoving and gravely sick.

((That's right, Yeerk.)) My host sneered at my silence, picking up the uncomfortable edges of my emotions. She had no clear idea as to why I remained quiet, but still she could feel that something about RUBICON's sadistic methods truly bothered me. ((You mess this up, Sub Visser 23 and Visser Three are gonna see to it that you're stepped on. Crushed, Yeerk. They're gonna burn your body on a broiling flame, send your blood boiling inside you until you feel ready to burst…then your skin will come scorching and shriveling off your body until absolutely nothing is left.))

It didn't help that her mind was riddling itself with brutal images, mainly of Sub Visser 23, holding my slug-like body pierced on the end of a hunting knife convulsing in total and complete torment over an open flame. My patience was quickly wringing itself out of me at this savagery as she continued.

((It's a pretty picture, wouldn't you say? I think it is.)) she laughed cruelly, ending the fantasy with her stomping my blackened body flat into the pavement, smearing the ashes of my skin, smudging the blood and the soot and matter until nothing remained.

((Yeah…that look would suit you if you mess this up, Yeerk.)) Mandy was taking great pleasure in my attempt to ignore her taunts. ((Sub Visser 23 and Visser Three are gonna-))

((Don't speak of things you know nothing about as if you know what is going on, slave.)) I cut in icily, keeping my voice toneless and even, before I began going on into a sadistic taunt of my own. ((It's actually quite amusing, how you fantasize about your freedom still as if my death would mean you run about in your own body, free again. I've said it once, and I'll say it again; you serve the Empire. If I move on or die, you will either be passed onto another Yeerk, or else you will join me in death. Especially if that matter rests with Visser Three.))

((My freedom would be worth paying with to watch you die.)) she retorted brutally, to which I laughed maliciously as the confidence of a true slave master slowly returned to me.

((Would it?)) I asked her, with all the abashing cruelty I could muster. ((I can still sense all the fear on you. I can still feel your desperation. You want to die free, don't you? Well at the moment, our fates are linked far too closely for you to pray for my failure, human.))

Once again, my property fell silent. Class seemed to fade in blocks of time and before either of us knew it, the bell had rung and we were all filing out, relieved the day was finally over.

"Mand! Over here!" Mariah waved me down on the curb not even a block off from the school as promised; which turned out to be a small suburban bus stop that lied just barely on the outskirts of town. I trotted happily toward the group to meet them with a thin smile. "Where's Mitch?"

"Sectional, and band practice." I replied with Mandy's relief. "Don't even have to worry about the band dork today."

I grinned along with the other girls as we began to walk back into town, all of us heading for the same place we always did in the rare instance that my host could meet with her friends alone. The local malt shop; just within the neighborly side of town. We headed there with another bout of conversation that sunk through me in its insignificance. I for one had my priorities firmly grasped throughout these manipulative bouts of human instinct, whether the dulled Yeerk senses were whetted by my meeting with the Sub Visser, or if it was out of spite for my host's taunts earlier, I wasn't far certain.

But it must be said, here and now, that my host body could not have been more obdurate. Truly, she had yet to learn that ….vanilla milkshakes… ….vanilla milkshakes were perfection…!

If we Yeerks borrowed the human vernacular, vanilla milkshakes were God, even.

It was nearly impossible to conceal my good mood as I sipped a tall frosty glass of this culinary delight! The sweet, mellow flavor of the vanilla, the cold, refreshing and creamy texture of the ice cream, the perfectly blended and sugary cream that made it so softly and delicately filling… It was pure brilliance. Pure, magnificent, surely founded brilliance! Truly, this was a masterpiece! A true artwork of the culinary ventures these humans had such a knack for, truly it was-

((I wanted chocolate.)) Mandy cut into my growing elation, briefly snapping reality back into place in the window-side booth of the malt shop. I sat there with Mandy's friends, as they too either sipped milkshakes like mine, or in Mariah's case, a brownie sundae smothered in hot fudge and jeweled with crushed peanuts and sprinkles.

((But this flavor is perfect already,)) I said skeptically, mentally raising an eyebrow. ((Why would you prefer anything else?))

((…Vanilla, better than chocolate?)) Mandy almost seemed amused as she did impatient with my reply. ((You really aren't from this planet.))

((It is better, I'm sure. Don't criticize my personal tastes based on my origins. After all, I play the role rather well, don't I?)) I couldn't resist a taunt that she seemed to brush aside easily enough. It seemed verbal brutality had a diminishing effect on humans, or at least from what I had heard, it did at first. When they thought that escape was possible, and thus winning these trivial little arguments didn't matter to them.

((I still wanted chocolate.)) She repeated irritably, to which I only scoffed at her, and returned my attention to the world outside of us. It was only later on, that I discovered through her memories, the natural appeal of chocolate to human females and thus understood why she may have preferred it over vanilla. The topic was never brought up in conversation again, but I still found it a rather curious effect for something such as flavor to have on any human.

I can't say I was too fond of researching other assorted… …aphrodisiacs, such as this chocolate on human females. The deeds of human sexuality were beyond my understanding when other Yeerks told me of how much sexuality was emphasized here on Earth, and to this day the deeds still do. Perhaps the aspect of death coming after a similar act in Yeerk culture causes me failure to understand the greatness of submission to hormones. Perhaps having failed to "evolve" into feeling such physically bound pleasures, we were but a bitter race in that aspect. Perhaps indeed.

But still as I searched and swam through human memories of pleasant feelings, I still didn't understand the emphasis of human sexuality. There were other acts on this planet that felt pleasant without such perverse undertones; sexual acts may have felt pleasant, but then for as long as I remained in this body, so did eating a favorite food, seeing colors, smelling clean air and walking about on actual legs. That wasn't even beginning how sexuality among humans stirred mixed feelings about them when it seemed to be heavily regarded with mixed beliefs. Some believed it all to be a sacred bond shared with a permanent partner throughout the course of their lives. Others believed it to be as natural an urge to feed on a whim as hunger and thirst, while others still merely enjoyed it for the scandal it caused.

The only substantial belief that was held regarding their mating was the inequality between genders; males seemed to be expected to hold complete, total rights to go about their mating process as they pleased, sacred or not. In fact, males that went about their sexual freedom carelessly were often praised, deemed as "players" and were generally accepted among their peers. Females however, were bound to higher standards of self control over their natural urges, and they were expected to emotionally regard the act as a sacred bond requiring commitment. Social stigmas seemed the common the result otherwise. It was a tradition humans had failed to leave behind apparently. Perhaps inhabiting a female host body brought me biased information… Perhaps indeed.

There was strangely enough no clear system or approach to sexuality; each human, each continent, each culture seemed to oppose and contradict another and yet another, it was yet one more mess of many with how divided humans were in their mentality. Another human act well beyond me, and judging from Mandy's flinty temper with me it wasn't one she would be apt to discussing openly…

Still, all this information rather digresses from the events at hand.

"Don't inhale it, Mariah." Heather joked lightly, smiling dryly over a straw as she sipped down a pink milkshake. …Strawberry. It sounded delectable; I should have to try it next time… Ash's laughter as Mariah countered with a middle finger brought me back to the matters as hand.

"Hey by the way, Heather," I started, the moment I could set that delicious vanilla shake aside. "You still up for going to that Sharing meeting tomorrow?"

Heather shrugged over a long sip of her milkshake. "I guess," she replied casually. "Citizen's Center tomorrow, around five-thirty to eight-thirty right?"

I nodded Mandy's head. "Yeah, then next week we're having another bonfire on the beach." I grinned playfully at Ash, who I caught smiling tentatively in deep thought through the straw of her chocolate shake. "There may be some cute guys and girls there, Ash…"

Ash chuckled. "Like any of them would want me, but sure, okay." she humored me, shaking her head through her straw. "And look at me, getting even fatter, and it's all because of you guys! It's y'all's fault I can't get a boyfriend!"

We all had a small laugh at this, we laughed at a lot of things unimportant to me. But for the present, I had my confirmation of one potential host body at the meeting for tomorrow. By the time my vanilla shake was the last to be finished, I had a maybe from Ash and Mariah too. Needless to say, my mood was positively soaring upon our exit from Sweet Temptations. Mandy remained bitterly silent. I paid her no mind.

"I'll see you guys later, I gotta finish my ID's for that history test tomorrow." Mariah rolled her eyes blandly, folding her arms. "Maybe I'll have the energy to finish early. I'll see you guys online later, right?"

"I'll be on." Ash replied lazily, slinging her backpack onto her other shoulder as we began walking back towards our neighborhood. The late afternoon was settling in, sinking into a bright and orange evening that quickly darkened and dimmed out the colors. Ash shrugged with a smile. "So Mariah won't be so lonely." Another laugh among us, a promise to be online and a goodbye later and we all jovially parted ways.

As I headed for home, I could feel my host's anger stirring again beneath the understandable bewilderment. She was hurt by the transgressions around us, sincerely.

My playing her role with more expertise and with more incontestable skill than this planet's finest actors had made her that way. Worse still, was how no one had noticed her lesser moments out of character; she would never have befriended that chatterbox Trisha Tompkins, nor would she have ever preferred vanilla over chocolate. Nevertheless, my priorities, my objectives, my absolute control remained hidden beneath the smiles, snide remarks and jokes they all shared. And as she began to understand now, they never would guess as to what really, truly lied beneath that cheerfulness and that charming cynicism that my host was known and loved for. At least…. not until it was too late to turn back.

In essence, she could feel her life ending within my voice. Though she still clutched some desperate hope for a savior or some open door, she could feel that her hopes in her family and friends were brutally fallen. Not that her friends and family could be blamed; a war within the one they loved, who still laughed and smiled as they did, could only logically remain unknown to them.

But still she remembered things that disturbed her; my notes of their capabilities as host bodies, my threats and taunts, and no longer did they seem like mere words as much as predictions and prospects that would come in time. She remained silent for hours after that. I would say the silence somewhat…bothered me, but still, the peace insured passive control of the body.

Yes. It was fine by me. I had plenty else to think about, such as when to begin my investigations. …And how to make these vanilla milkshakes, and make them as tasty as they did down at that malt shop…

((Get a life.)) Mandy muttered. ((Chocolate's better.))

((...We'll... see about that.))