The door to Sikowitz classroom slammed shut faster than I would have thought humanly possible. I had Cat behind me, I was dragging her away, she was not to be interviewed. I promised her, I promised her that I would take care of her throughout this whole thing and now I was keeping that promise. Lane wouldn't get to her today.
"Jade let go!" Cat whined, attempting to pull away from me. She was struggling against my grip, which I thought was a good sign she wasn't going to get away. "Where are we going?"
"Home! The grocery store! Vega's house! I don't know, but we're not staying here!" I was so mad, so upset. It's like God himself had cast this burden on us and wouldn't stop trying to conflict pain on us until we were on the ground writhing in unbearable tribulation.
Cat stopped her yapping and followed me outside like a lost dog just wanting to go home. After the other night I wondered if I'd ever go back to never speaking to her again, or if maybe we'll become friends, that would be nice. Maybe. I've had this debate with myself a million and one times but for some reason I can't seem to make a decision, and I can't turn to God to ask for a sign because he's already to busy shooting thunderbolts of unpleasant events at my ass.
We climbed into my car and I started the engine still not one hundred percent sure where we're going. Cat had started to cry as we began to drive away. They were silent tears, but they were so soft and she was so quiet and broken that it reminded me of an angel sobbing over the cruel ways of us human beings.
My heart started to tingle, I wanted to reach over and stroke the tears away from her face but I held myself together and kept my eyes on the road. "Where are we going?" Cat's voice broke at the end as another tear slid down her face.
"Hush." I commanded, not only did it kill her that she was crying, it was killing me. With every tear another strip of my heart was pulled away.
We drove in silence until we saw a local coffee shop. I knew Cat didn't drink coffee -how I knew that beat me- but we needed to stop somewhere and I was having a craving. She didn't say anything as I parked, as I got out of the car, as we entered the shop.
It was a quiet atmosphere, mostly people just reading books or having pointless chit-chat. I could feel Cat loosen beside me, but she was still quite frail. I didn't know what possessed me, but I reached out and took hand in mine, attempting to calm her down.
She didn't seem to mind.
As we reached the cash we earned a quizzical look from the cashier. She was looking at us, judging us, but there was nothing to judge, Cat just needed somebody to calm her down.
But this girl had the nerve to look at us like we were freaks, like we were mutants from another plant. Maybe this was why I tried not to comfort people, why I tried to not get to nice or too understanding.
Even if Cat and I were together it was none on this womans business and we didn't deserve any looks of shame or whatever the hell kind of raised eyebrow gaze she was giving us. "Can I help you?" She asked, smiling.
"You can whip that look off your face." I suggested. Cat tugged on my arm, trying to stop me. "So what if I'm holding her hand? She needed a friend and I'm being nice for once in my life. I don't deserve to be looked at like that. Nobody does. Stop being such a twat and look away."
"Jade." Cat whined, tugging even harder.
"Fine." I spat, "I'll take a medium coffee, one milk no sugar."
The lady was completely taken off guard, as she should have been. Serves her right. You really don't mess with Jade fucking West. Silently the woman went to work preparing my beverage.
"You really didn't have to yell." Cat sighed, puppy dog eyes meeting my angry ones.
I had to look away from her before I melted into a puddle on the floor. The girl used to make me want to vomit or tear the heads off puppy dogs. I still liked to do these activates but not for the same reason. Before it was because she made me hate her, now it was because I couldn't help but like her and it made me furious. "I didn't yell, I calmly told her where to put her attitude."
Cat didn't say anything because she knew that I would never agree with her.
We sat at a table close to a window because Cat enjoyed waving at the random strangers that passed by. She was strange and annoying, wacky and completely insane, but I was growing a soft spot for her. Her smile was so big it reached her eyes as she waved to a weak old lady outside.
"You're probably going to give her a heart attack." I stated, taking a sip of my coffee.
Cat didn't say anything about the old lady but she did say something about my coffee cup. "It has a puppy on it!" I looked down to my cup which was seasonally decorated for the spring. "One time my brother was walking outside and he was attacked by a dog." I waited a moment but she didn't say anything else. With a raised eyebrow I asked, "Is he okay?"
"No." She shook her head. "He walks with a limp. Like a pirate." Her laugh filled my ears, but it was becoming slightly less annoying.
'This just in!' Cat and I turned our heads to the small black TV hanging in the corner of the room. A dark skinned woman with an enchanting smile looked back at eyes, slight horror in her eyes. 'There was an burnt car found in a field not to far from Hollywood Arts high school. The same school that Lloyd MacDonald was found dead at not too long ago. The police aren't ready to release any major details but they're positive that the car is somehow connected to the murder'.
"Oh shit." I gasped, looking to Cat whose eyes were wide with fright. Her bottom lips started to quiver and I knew she was about to blow. I wouldn't be able to cover up the reason behind her sobs, I knew that. So I quickly grasped her arm and pulled her out of the store and too the parking lot.
She leaned against the hood of my car and started to cry, covering her eyes with her hands. I wasn't very good at comforting, I wasn't really sure how I was supposed to make the water works stop. She looked so sad and upset. If this had been two weeks ago I would have smiled and made sure she stayed upset for awhile, maybe I would have captured it on video, but now everything was different. Part of me cared for Cat -as hard as it was too admit- and I couldn't just stand there and wait for her to finish.
I put my hands on her shoulders and shook her a little, "Cat. It's okay, we're going to be okay." She looked up slowly, her mascara slowly tumbling down her cheeks, it was very much a movie moment. "How do you manage to still look perfect with makeup running down your face?"
Cat smiled a little and used the back of her hand to stop the flow of tears. "Here." I reached into my purse and pulled out a small package of tissues I kept around encase I needed them. With one hand I lifted her chin up so that she was looking at me and with the other hand I started to clean off her face.
"Thank you." She whispered, voice still broken. After I finished I crumpled the Kleenex in my palm and tossed it to the ground. "Jade?" She looked at me with those puppy dog eyes again, but this time, I saw a rim of tears threatening to break free. "What if something happens and they figure everything out?" My show tapped against the pavement. "They aren't going to okay? I won't let them." She seemed to believe me as much as I believed myself.
Which wasn't very much.
-o-
My cell phone buzzed alerting me to Beck's call. Cat and I sat in my car, the radio blasting to keep Cat distracted. "Hello?" I answered. I wasn't sure why but I really didn't want to talk to Beck. To anybody for that matter.
"Where the hell are you Jade?" He asked angrily.
I laughed, "Calm down Beck, we're at some cheap coffee shop about twenty minutes away from school."
He didn't sound as relieved as I thought he would. "Why are you there? Lane is pissed because you kidnapped Cat right before she was interrogated."
How the hell did Beck know that? Had Cat told him? No I was sure she hadn't. "How do you know that?"
"No reason." Beck said quickly. He became defensive and barred. "Listen Jade you're in trouble so is Cat, you better get back to school."
I scoffed, "Don't tell me what I have to do Beck you're not my Father." "It's not like your Father has much control over you anyways." He muttered. As soon as the words escaped his mouth, I knew he regretted them from his intake of breath. "Jade I-I-"
"Whatever, fuck you." I said, keeping my emotions at bay. If he tried to say one more thing I would probably cry, and Cat needed me to be strong right now. It wasn't even just that, it was the fact that I didn't cry in front of people that meant something to me. That's why I didn't care if I cried in front of Vega. "If you couldn't tell it's over." I slammed the phone shut.
Realization started to sink in about five minutes later when I found myself crying into Cat's chest. She wasn't sure what had just happened but she knew I was upset so I guess that was enough reason for her, to want to consol me.
That whole 'not crying in front of people I cared about' rule was broken in a matter of minutes.
"Don't cry." Cat said innocently. She was so clueless that I had to laugh. "What's funny?" She asked, pulling back a little.
"You." I smiled. She furrowed her eyebrows. "I mean, not you, but just that way you were acting." She still didn't seem to get it.
"What?" Cat's expression wasn't one of definite hurt or definite happiness, it was more a mix of the two because she wasn't exactly sure what I was saying.
I bit my lip, "Beck and I broke up."
Her hand flew to her mouth in shock. "No!" She said, not really sure how she was supposed to act. "That's horrible."
"He was an ass." I leaned back against my seat in defeat.
"Oh." She sighed.
I wondered if she really every understood anything besides child cartoons and how to color in the lines. Could she consume and store information in class like most kids or did it just go in one ear and out the other. I wasn't really sure how she made it to our grade. It was possible that she was book smart and just chose to act like she lived in another world while outside of the classroom, maybe that made things easier, maybe it was how she coped with things.
I dried my cheeks with the back of my hand and smiled over at her. "To think, last week I probably would be running in the opposite direction if I saw you in the hall."
She grinned at me, "it's not my fault you wasted all that time hating me."
This was true. "So where to you want to go now?" I asked, starting the car and putting it into reverse.
She thought for a minute. "That fair!"
"There's no fair in town." I laughed, looking over and watching as her happy face dimmed. "We could just go to the movies."
"Kay-kay!" She clapped happily.
Cat declared that we'd be seeing the newly released sequel to a well known children's cartoon. I couldn't remember the name of it, all I knew was that there was a lot of color, a lot of noise and it brought a smile to Cat's face. Her eyes were glued to the screen like mine were when I first saw 'The Scissoring'.
I remembered back to two Christmases ago when Sikowitz had assigned us all to give each other the best Secret Santa presents. Cat had gotten my name and as much distress as it brought me that I had to act happy with whatever she got me, it kind of also brought me joy. Her present was heart warming because I didn't think she actually knew anything about me, let alone how much I loved that movie.
To Beck I had faked a smile, to Cat I had given her a genuine one, what I wasn't sure of is what kind of smile I actual had given.
A loud noise brought me back to the real word. Something had spooked most of the kinds in the theatre, including Cat. She grasped my arm tightly and buried her face into my shoulder. I looked to the screen to see a three headed dog fighting with a group of cartoon gerbils. Apparently it scared some of the children, including Cat.
She snuggled her head into my shoulder for support that I wasn't exactly sure how to give. All I knew was that I was happier to be cuddling somebody I hated for most of my life than I would be holding Beck's hand whilst he told me he loved me.
Things were so damn different it hurt.