Is it horrible that when the producers said 'We would get to see some of Gail's growth' – I envisioned something like this?

Gail wasn't used to getting up in the night in her warm, comfy bed to find the other end bare. In fact - it had never been like this with Holly. Gail always loved waking up with Holly next to here - no matter what time of the day it was. So when she couldn't find her girl next to her in the middle of the night, Gail was decidedly annoyed about it. Pulling the sheets a bit, Gail waited for Holly to return back to bed soon - thinking the brunette had gone to fetch a drink of water or something. After ten minutes of waiting in the dark for Holly to return, Gail began turning anxious. Holly wasn't the kind who randomly woke up in the middle of the night. Thinking something must have happened ,Gail forced herself out of bed to seek out her out.

Searching everywhere she could think of - from the kitchen to the bathroom, Gail began to panic a little as she couldn't find her anywhere. Adrenaline pumped through her blood now, she was thoroughly awake - and at the slightest hint - was ready to do some serious damage to any intruder. Tip- toeing around the house and worried about her girlfriend's whereabouts, she suddenly caught sight of her. Gail was about to heave a loud sigh of relief at the sight of her girlfriend, but she stopped short seeing Holly standing alone at the balcony, staring into space, seemingly deep in thought. Quite dumbstruck, she wasn't sure what to do - and in usual Gail fashion - blew everything out of proportion in her mind. Thinking off tangents –Gail thought that perhaps Holly wanted a little time alone, thought that if Holly had needed her she would have woken her up. Gail had to admit it now - as much as she wants to talk to the brunette and coax her back to bed - a part of her doesn't know if it's the right thing to do. Gently leaning against the door frame, Gail bit her lip wondering what her next move ought to be. Gail usually on being confronted with a situation she isn't sure what to do next - does what she does best - climb trees, run away, make up excuses, whatever. Gail could come up with a million euphemisms to represent what is it she does so well - but none of them diminish the basic fact – she's helpless when it comes to situations where she's expected to take charge, make a stand, and lead the way (in romantic situations that is). However, Gail's thought processes as usual led her back to her primary insecurities - perhaps that was why she would forever be a beat cop - and nothing more. Staring at the brunette as she slowly shifted - Gail decided to do what she normally does - walk away. Slipping away and silently wishing she was better at people, Gail slinked back into bed, realizing she was probably the worst girlfriend in the history of humankind.

It was about half an hour before Holly came back to bed; Gail had been counting the minutes. This is insane, she thought to herself - but there was no way she would rake up the courage to ask Holly what was wrong. Feigning sleep and feeling Holly slide into bed next to her - Gail didn't do anything that would give away the fact that she wasn't actually asleep. Waiting till she was absolutely sure the brunette was comfy and asleep, Gail sat up in bed, doing her best to not wake the sleeping brunette. Gail racked her brains to think of anything that might have affected Holly, but couldn't. Her day was normal - no news of any sort from anywhere - so Gail was at a loss of what to think. She didn't know what had gotten to her girlfriend - and was definitely worried - about both her girlfriend and her own capabilities to deal with her.

Gail wasn't used to helping people through their emotions - she could barely make it through her own - and she had always thought of herself as the person who was emotionally dependent on Holly (as much as she liked to publicly deny it). Gail could feel the blood stilling in her veins - she was sure if she had to be there for Holly (whatever that meant) - she was going to be pretty pathetic at it. Horror gripped Gail as her exe's words came back to haunt her. She wasn't girlfriend material of any sort. There was a reason for that. It was romantic to think that Holly had changed that notion - but the truth was still plain to see - Gail wasn't one for processing emotions and feelings - something that's an integral part of relationships.

Needless to say - it took Gail quite a long while to get back to sleep that night.

Morning came - and Gail was watching Holly like a hawk, looking for any sign that the brunette might be feeling a little blue. Failing miserably at that – Gail couldn't do much as the two left for their day's work. All day, Gail was worried about was Holly and anything that might have been bothering her and she had to fight the urge to text the pathologist every half-hour, enquiring if she was alright or not. That wasn't too hard as she was later pulled in for a chase after a petty arms dealer whom the 15 division had managed to snag at the right time. Exhausted after a tiring and rather annoying game of cat and mouse - Gail had been sent off home for the rest of the day. Gail was glad to get any time off as the lack of sleep the previous night and the now tiring chase had drained her - and she rushed back home and promptly fell asleep on the couch.

Holly wasn't exactly blue for any particular reason. She just hadn't been able to sleep and she couldn't exactly say what had gotten to her - but she knew she wasn't her usual self. She had assumed a little alone time in the night would have helped her a bit, but it hadn't. She had badly wanted to wake up the blonde and talk to her - about something , anything - from forensic pathology to sloppy T.V. shows - just a random talk with her girlfriend which would take her mind of whatever that was getting her down. But Holly was terrified of waking the blonde. She knew Gail would immediately know something was wrong with her and Holly wouldn't know how to say to the blonde. She knew Gail's tendency to go off the deep end - and didn't want to trigger that reaction for something was so seemingly pointless. What alone time in the night had revealed to Holly was that she was horrified of feeling vulnerable in front of Gail. Holly knew she was the default emotionally strong one - and letting Gail see the vulnerable side of herself was something Holly was dreading. She had been hoping to be the strong one forever after - but after all - how long do hopes normally last.

It took Holly a lot of energy to be normal the next day - she knew Gail was eyeing her every movement with such intensity - and it was all Holly could do but fake normalcy. Thinking that Gail must have picked up on something - Holly went about her day in her normal way - but all the while feeling a little guilty at Gail's occasional messages asking about her. Holly knew the logical thing to do would be to ensure to her girlfriend that she was okay - but her messages didn't seem to be bringing Gail any relief. After her day was done - Holly drove back home knowing that she would have to do something to make her girlfriend relax.

Walking into the house - Holly stopped to see Gail fast asleep on the couch. All her inhibitions from the previous night fell away and Holly had the overwhelming urge to snuggle up in her girlfriend's arms. Not thinking twice - Holly dropped her coat and bags on the floor and tried to lie down in the little space next to Gail. Gail stirred instinctively in her sleep and moved a little - making space for the brunette to lie down next to her. Holly rested her head on the blonde's shoulder and her body melted into Gail's frame, a smile slipping on to her face as she closed her eyes and immediately felt drowsy in the blonde's arms. Gail woke up slowly - a little surprised at the turn of events. She tried moving a bit to see Holly was comfy and almost half asleep in her arms. Gail could feel her fears slowly fading away. This wasn't so bad - this was actually nice. They seemed to be a perfect fit no matter. That hadn't made Gail worry any lesser however.

"Hey are you -"

Gail was cut short but Holly pressing a finger against her lips and softly shushing her.

"You can only make it worse from here." she softly whispered in Gail's ears and slowly falling asleep, with a sleepy grin on her face.

Gail huffed at that reply but was glad. That was more like her cheeky, smart girlfriend. Smiling that she had somehow managed to make her girlfriend better, Gail felt better. Maybe this wasn't as bad as she had thought it out to be after all.