Oikachu was listening to Boards of Canada until he suddenly felt so depressed that he slashed some of his vital veins open with a screwdriver, and while thinking of vodka dragons making sexy love on Ash's corpse, died. He was interrupted by Ash himself, who wore panties on his face and
''Pikachu.'' Ash droned.
''What?'' Oikachu asked.
''Pikachu?'' Ash droned again.
''What?'' Oikachu asked again.
''Nothing.'' Ash said, then walked away, grinning like satan on coke. He then caught Diantha, who was on her galloping Gardevoir, and fucked her, all while she was like ''Ah! Ah! Ah!'' and he was like ''Oh! Oh! Oh!''
Watching all this shit made Oikachu's scar hurt and he had a vision.
He was a choleric, yet reserved Ampharos with baseball bats for fingers and an electroshocker for a penis. His tail was shaped in such an uniquely mind-boggling way that time wrapped itself around it and space materialized into a naked human created solely to dance dubstep around it.
Shaking his noggin out of the trance, he looked at the fucking pair and sighed nostalgically. Ash raped Diantha's ass as hard as fuck, all while her Gardevoir barked cutely at Ash, who farted in his face, and Gardevoir sniffled his farts while farting himself, because he is a fart.
Cynthia's Spiritomb arrived and groped Gardevoir, at which he retaliated by killing the fuck out of him, somehow, I don't know. Gardevoir sacrificed Spiritomb's corpse to Giratina, but he lip-kissed Spiritomb. because Giratina was in fact Cynthia!
''We're...just...friends...is all~...'' Cynthia the Renegade Pokemon sexily droned, while staring lovingly at Spiritomb. ''...right, my dove~?''
Spiritomb smirked. Cynthia blew him a kiss.
He was enraged at her timidity, so he punched her devilish face into Arceus' asshole, so they merged into a being that was an incarnation of afterlife in a place that is Heaven and Hell mashed erratically by Mew on crack. Oikachu oinked then withdrew his motorcycle made of pig vaginas filled with envy and drove into thousand sunsets, yet again listening to Boards of Canada.
On the way, he smelt sweaty cocks, which enraged him. He withdrew his sword from nowhere. The sword was named Unholy Sickshit, and it constantly cried lasers made of pure hate and dropped bombs stuffed with evil Teddy Bears. He swung his sword around, and so randomly that he slashed his kidneys in two without actually damaging his furry skin shell. Oikachu's kidneys reacted violently to the cocksweat smell, and they transformed into humans without fetishes, who were at a approximate age of -564,72, sang of diversity of modern music and puked dark matter in streams upwards. The dark matter pelted birds and they became severed Mastodon pelvises with hemipenises made of two Eifel Towers each and bowling balls for testicles. One of the birds was too cool to transform into the same creature as everyone, so it became a golem made of hardened crap and mental disease discrimination, Admiral Pisspuke.
Pisspuke made fun of Oikachu, saying how stupid his name sounded. Oikachu oinked, then screamed so hard, Pisspuke was completely smelted from existence. Oikachu began laughing a throaty laugh until a demonic penis emerged from the ground. It was decorated with swastikas, pentagrams and other signs of forgotten religions. It jizzed into the skies and landed at nearby pedestrians, turning them into cartoonish mutant cowboys. A rather sizeable glob of cum landed few feet away from Oikachu, which then transformed into...Admiral Pisspuke! Who was now made of broken Sega Mega Drive consoles and extreme animosity, was ridden with pores which squirted radioactive boogers, and had a retarded twin sticking out of his knee who cursed at each physical contact.
Oikachu observed his opponent with an amused look, how uncliche yet weird he looked. Oikachu screamed into his own groin, then mega evolved into a Granbull, which wasn't a Granbull, for it was a Gulpin being mentally challenged by 214 Hariyama, who were in fact cloned from the sweat from Michael Jackson's crotch, and an asexual Lucario, who was into depressive-suicidal black metal, being forcefully blown off by a lonely Kingdra. The abstract creature approached Pisspuke and punched him with it's Kingdra. Pisspuke immediately fell in love with Mega Oikachu.
Mega Oikachu made love to himself while Pisspuke cried and fapped with his hairy and rough feet.
Pisspuke then realized something. He was a Poison/Fairy type and sexually attracted to doors. He wore lemon peels on his head, then sniffled at his armpits all while making gorilla sounds.
''Why cubic suns make blood krutons when I masturbate, thinking of her nose?'' Pisspuke pondered. ''I can murder everyone with my toenail, but I'm a kind samarithan, and proud!'' he screamed. He then felt his testicles crack. They broke, and small Pisspuke's emerged from them. They were so powerful, they could drown a fish with ease and slay all Death Dragons by simply making a 'tsk' sound.
Pisspuke felt confused for no reason at all. He talked to his dickhole, pretending it understood, then thought why his liver is such a homophobe. He punched a rift in his stupid skull, withdrew his brain, punched a hole in his stomach, stuffed his brain there, counted to 100000 in exaggerated German, scratched his ass, took a sniff of that arm, took his half-digested brain back and returned it in his skull. He laughed a throaty laugh and danced to hard-hitting and filthy dubstep until his head came off, then he jumped on his head and rode it into sunset like a monocycle, killing the fuck out of it. The sunset is dead now. ._.'
Observing it all made Ash's eyes watery. He shed a carbon tear and smoked monkey nipples, all while painting a poor excuse for a troll face with his piss. Giovanniwas passing by on his Kangaskhan and saw the picture. Seeing it made him laugh his ugly, hairy ass off. Ash was saddened so he laid on the ground and slept, all while his lesbian ninja grandmother's ghost sang him gay songs.
Fon.