Disclaimer! If I owned Crisis Core, there would be more innuendo that Zack wanted to get into Cloud's pants. Or Sephy's. Really, it doesn't matter who, as long as whoever his pants call for has--in the words of Axel'sWaterBaby--"brotherly jewels". They could be like Lady Gaga (who I will feature in a chapter even if it kills me. Dx)

Enjoy!

Fact Six: Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what? ...Um...Never mind..." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

"Maybe you sounded too desperate?"

"Yeah! Ladies want their man to be packin', not a freakin' pansy, yo."

"Reno, you aren't helping…"

I groaned and let my head fall to the table the four of us (me, Reno, Rude, and Tseng) had at the food court in the mall. Tseng and Rude (well, Tseng at least; I never know what Rude's thinking behind that reflective cueball head of his and those damn sunglasses he wears inside) seemed to be genuinely interested in my lack of getting any from Cissnei, but Reno seemed perfectly happy to just sit here and stare at the sample girl's ass over at the Chinese food place. (Think her name was Yuffie? Hope he knows that she's Vincent's girl… Otherwise, he may end up getting kicked in the crotch.

…

Again.)

"Zack, perhaps you're thinking to hard about this?" Rude offered, speaking for the first time since the dinosaurs roamed the Earth.

"He doesn't seem to be thinking logically about this at all," Tseng said with a shake of his head.

"Denied!" Reno shouted, pointing over-dramatically at me. "Way to go, Tseng-bird!" He held his hand up for Tseng to high five him.

Tseng didn't move.

"Denied," Rude said shortly. Reno fell off his chair.

"Oh, got him!" I laughed.

"At least Cissnei isn't keeping secrets from me!" Reno yelled from the floor.

…

"Look what you've done, Reno. Now Zack's resorted to cultivating mushrooms on his head. What are we going to do now?"

"… You wanna go egg his car?"

"Hn."

I hate my friends.

A/N: I really had no idea what to write for this one. I just put in a bunch of stuff I hear guys say because I've started to realize that I'm making Zack sound like a pansy.

And dear lord knows the fangirls would kill me if I turned Zack into a teenybopper. Dx

…

Check out my hook while my DJ revolves it! (If you know where this is from, I love you. :3)