Pairing: Ichimaru x Kira
Rating: M (Graphic sex, rape, violence, swearing)
Length: 20,000+ (Complete)
Update Frequency: Weekly
Summary: Spanning Kira's lieutenancy from his instatement, until three years after the current story, and the relationship that develops between captain and lieutenant.
Note 1: The terms for the shinigami garments are pulled from http: // paperiuni. livejournal. com/ 4516. html (remove the spaces).
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any characters associated with it. The plot and original characters in Antenora Smiles I do own.
A/N: Two time segments, just a heads up. This is the only stab I make at a coherent plot, more of a fetal twitch continued from a previous chapter. On another note, thank you for those who reviewed, your words mean so much, I really can't say how much. I try and respond to each and every one of you that I can. You really make my day with your wonderful words. That said, those who read Smiles, alerted, or faved this piece, please tell me why, why you like it or why you don't, a word or two would suffice. Reviews are more than just counting candy ( such and such a piece has so many reviews so it must be really good, etc.) they are the reader's chance to help the author grow as a writer. This site is not just a window shop, it is a community, one that needs interaction between both sides to flourish. I offer up this piece as one side of a conversation, please offer your reviews as the other side so I'm not just talking to empty air. Thank you for hearing me out, and if you think I'm a pompous ass asking for reviews, then please just tell me about it and I'll shut up and let you read on in peace. Without further ado I present the 6th chapter. Enjoy.
Antenora Smiles
Six Months.
"Izuru!"
He stumbled to an awkward halt, steadying himself on the wall of the corridor. Using its solid support he eased himself around, every muscle and bone making their protest known. Kira didn't look up, letting his pursuer come up beside him, panting.
Small hands felt his forehead, gently brushing aside the concealing bangs he had grown. He head a soft gasp as Momo Hinamori saw his face. "Oh Izuru, what happened to you?"
"Nothing," he removed her hands from his face, broken fingers complaining at their movement.
"I heard you got back from a patrol but no one told me you had run into hollows," her kind face was concerned.
"I didn't. I was coming through the dangai and I ran into the cleaners," Kira lied.
"Why were you in there?" Momo asked doubtfully.
Kira colored, fatigue made his excuse clumsy, "Captain Ichimaru wanted me to check out some suspicious behavior. Please Momo, I need to go, the captain wants me."
"In this state?" Cool hands cupped his face, wiping away the blood. Kira flinched reflexively. "You need to go see the 4th, you can't even fill out paperwork right now."
"The captain said he needed me," Kira protested weakly, too tired to do anything else.
Bun-topped head shook, "No, Kira. He'll understand. You need to be healed." She took his arm, leading him away from his intended path.
Fear coursed through Kira, and he jerked away from her. Last time he had been late…he shied from the memory. "Momo, I'm fine."
"You look like you haven't slept in a month, Kira," Momo looked him over worriedly, taking in his battered form, "What is Captain Ichimaru doing to you?"
"Nothing!" Kira protested fiercely. "I'm his lieutenant; I do only what he asks of me."
"Then he's asking too much. Since you've become a lieutenant, you've hardly talked to Renji or I."
"Paperwork keeps me busy," Kira moved back against the wall, supporting himself on the molding. He looked away from her face, he knew he would see disappointment there; he could never successfully lie to Hinamori. He swiftly changed the subject, hoping to distract her. "What are you doing in the 3rd's offices anyway?"
"I'm running an errand for Captain Aizen, he wants me to give some documents to Captain Ichimaru," Hinamori blushed, "Ever since our lieutenant vanished I've been filling in."
"Then you should deliver them," Kira said, fatigue creeping into his voice, he barely managed from sinking to the floor
"I was headed that way, but it can wait, we need to get you to the 4th," she held out a hand, offering her help.
"I can do it myself, I just need to check in with the captain first."
"If you insist seeing him, I'm headed that way myself," she said concerned.
Kira felt a sudden surge of panic, Hinamori couldn't discover the truth, couldn't see Ichimaru's reaction to his condition, his failure. "I'm headed to my own office first; I have to pick some things. You go on ahead."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. I'll see you around Momo." Using the last of his strength he pushed away from the wall and straightened, marching resolutely down the hall, away from his friend. She didn't try to follow him. Once he turned the corner, he slumped against the wall. No one could know what he and Ichimaru shared; it would destroy both of them. He cared little for his own life. It was Ichimaru's to do what he willed with, but his captain's life – he would do anything to protect it. For the time he had been the lieutenant of the 3rd, he had been lying to his friends, and lying gladly.
Body aching, he forced himself to continue walking, cradling his ruined hands. He had to get to Ichimaru and make his report before Momo got there; then he could go give in to his body's aching demands. The corridor moved past him in a blur of hazy memory. Finally he reached the door he was seeking, a nondescript sliding panel in a long hallway, Ichimaru's seldom used office. Glancing both directions, he slid it open and slipped into the dark vacant office. He hoped Ichimaru wouldn't be there, that he could postpone their meeting just a little while longer, but that was not to be the case.
"Izuru, you're late," Ichimaru rose from the chair, white hair gleaming in the half-light. "You know I hate it when you're late."
"Captain, I'm sorry," Kira knelt and bowed his head, ignoring the pain of bruised ribs and broken bones. "I was delayed."
"You're still late, that's inexcusable. Have I taught you nothing Izuru?" Kira could see Ichimaru's feet as they approached, stopping so he stood over Kira. A foot rested gently on one of his splayed hands. Slowly it pressed down, eliciting a whimper from the blonde.
"What was that?" Ichimaru asked mildly.
"Nothing, Captain," he swallowed against the pain.
"Are you saying that I haven't taught you anything?" The pressure increased.
"No!" Kira stammered, looking up with emotion filled eyes. He wished the anger would fade from Ichimaru's face. But he had disappointed his captain, he could hardly expect more than rightful anger at his failure.
The foot let up, Ichimaru sank to his knees in front of Kira. A gentle hand cradled his chin, thumb stroking Kira's bruised cheek. "I believe you."
"Captain, what did you want from me?" Kira sighed, eyes half closed in contentment. He didn't deserve this; his captain's touch was an intoxicant for his tired mind.
"Patience, Izuru," Ichimaru chuckled, "It's always business with you." He started to mutter under his breath, a low level healing kidou. The bruises under his hand faded and he turned his attention to Kira's hands. The long fingers were crooked and swollen. "Ah, what happened here?"
"The creature you sent me after was…stronger than I had anticipated," Kira muttered, coloring slightly at the memory, "It managed to rip Wabisuke from my hands before I could finish it off."
"You killed it?" Ichimaru said coldly, stopping his ministrations.
"It was attacking Karakura town, I had no choice," he protested desperately, his flesh longed for the renewed touch of those cold hands, but the horror of burned and mutilated flesh of lost souls forced its way through the need. He was his captain's, but he also had a duty to those who couldn't defend themselves.
"You disappoint me Izuru, I told you not to kill it." Ichimaru claimed his feet, slipping hands into haori, he started to pace. He started muttering softly, apparently thinking. Kira strained to catch snatches of the rapid speech but Ichimaru's voice escaped his ears, almost-words that only deepened Kira's confusion.
"Captain?"
"What Kira?" Ichimaru said pointedly, pausing to glance at him.
"That thing – it wasn't a hollow, it didn't have a mask. What was it?"
"Don't ask questions you know I won't answer." The sardonic smile mocked him. "Did anyone else see it?"
"No, I killed it before it made it into the downtown. No one else was on patrol in the area."
"Then I can forgive you for your mistake. But I warn you, next time I may not be as kind. Get up." Ichimaru offered a hand to Kira, who took it gratefully and climbed to his feet unsteadily. "Let me see your hands."
Kira held out shaking hands, palms up. Ichimaru took them between his, carefully exploring the extent of the damage. "My, my Kira, you've broken almost every bone in your left hand and three fingers on your right." He began to speak the healing kidou softly, and Kira gasped in relief as the bones realigned themselves, twisting sickeningly underneath the skin.
"Thank you Captain," Kira said with tearful eyes as the last of the pain vanished, sinking against the comforting bulk of his captain.
Ichimaru muffled the thanks in a kiss, the force of it pressing Kira to the wall. Fingers entwined into his hair and a thin arm wrapped around his waist, drawing him close to Ichimaru. Kira went limp, letting his weight drag them both down to the floor. Ichimaru ended up straddling the kneeling Kira. Practiced hands untied the knot that held Kira's obi closed. After a moment it gave way, leaving him bare-chested and shivering with anticipation. Ichimaru pulled away from the kiss, letting his tongue trace the lines of Kira's face, and then moved to his chest. Kira moaned in pleasure, hands clenching his captain's haori.
"Captain Ichimaru?"
Accompanying footsteps in the hall caused Ichimaru to slide back, pulling his clothes back into a semblance of order. "Get dressed Kira and then go. I've work to do."
Kira hurriedly gathered his clothing about him, clumsy fingers tying the knot. Without glancing at his captain, he made for the door. He didn't look up as he brushed past a startled Momo, trying to hide his burning face.
One Year, Part I.
The cold was a sharp blade, cutting into Kira. Blinking, he tried to clear his eyes of the falling flakes, but it was an impossible task. The snow came down in a torrent of white, obscuring everything around him. Wind whipped up the heavy snow, swirling it around his legs like a natural trip wire. He stumbled, almost falling headlong into the nearest snow bank. Why, oh why had he been so stupid? He had let anger drive him out into the deadly conditions and now he was paying for it. His feet were solid blocks of ice, his hands little better. His thin shinakushou did little to protect against the elements.
Kira's headlong rush barred any knowledge of his surroundings, he could have been ten feet from third squad's quarters and through the snow he couldn't have known. Stupid. He had let Renji and Momo get to him. They didn't know anything, they were guessing, nothing more than that. But that assurance didn't stop the growing worry gnawing at his gut, his friends were far too perceptive for his comfort. How else would they know to ask those questions? And now, now because of his stupidity, they could guess with fair certainty at the answers. He almost imagined he could hear their accusing voices calling his name over the howling storm.
A sudden gust of wind ripped the breath from his throat, his heart faltered and then restarted. He couldn't survive much longer, not without shelter, but maybe it was better that way. The secret would die with him, his captain would remain safe. Ichimaru, the name sent a pang of sadness through Kira, he wished he could have at least said goodbye, it would have provided a small comfort. The cold bit at his body, slowing his steps to the faltering gait of an old man, weaving blindly through the snow. Kira could feel deadly warmth creeping into his limbs; the snow was no longer frigid about him, but a welcoming blanket. Sleep beckoned from behind the veil of the storm. Gradually Kira staggered to a halt, his breath misting before his eyes. In a cloud of snow, Kira collapsed, sinking against the warm, yielding surface. Guilt needled him. Momo. Renji. I'm sorry, he thought, his muddled brain barely forming the words, I'm sorry I had to lie to you.
They would understand, Momo at the very least would, Aizen was the center of her world, just as Ichimaru was his. Ichimaru, his captain, his…love. On the edge of the endless sleep, Kira could feel it in the spluttering embers of his heart. Devotion had been burned into something far purer, he wasn't entirely sure were unconditional loyalty ended and were this new, but entirely familiar, emotion started. The transition had been gradual, a slowly creeping force working his emotions into a new framework. He almost laughed at the incredulity of it all, his captain had started this those long nights ago, and now it was ending under a blanket of creeping cold. He didn't want to die, not with this new knowledge burning in his chest. He struggled to get to his feet, but cold dulled limbs defeated any and all efforts. Will or not, this was the end. Eyes slipping closed; Kira almost didn't believe it when he saw the flickering light of a torch, muffled by the swirling snow, swam out of the storm, born by a figure whiter than the surroundings. Vision fuzzy, Kira thought he saw a face smiling mockingly down at him before he faded into unconsciousness.
F/N: Encouragement or critique is appreciated. Thank you.