Octavia

At age two, Octavia had become an expert at playing soundlessly, being quiet, hiding when needed, and spending much of her time alone. She was a cautious child, big-eyed and silent, little and skinny. Aurora and Bellamy gave up a quarter of their own rations to make a half ration to feed the little girl, but when both she and Bellamy got bigger they both knew it would become harder to feed the whole family. Octavia was blissfully unaware of this, wrapped in her cocoon of love. Despite her isolation, at that age Octavia didn't need anything more than a loving family.

Aurora provided for Octavia's physical needs, but Bellamy was her playmate, her friend, her confidant, and the centre of her world. He played with her, taught her things, made her feel like she mattered- like she wasn't invisible, despite being undocumented and unknown to everyone else on the station.

Since Bellamy and their mother used the code word of 'monster' for the only other people she knew of from the outside world- guards doing their inspections- she was terrified of the idea of the rest of the Ark. When they came and she was under the floor, she'd curl into herself and squeeze her eyes shut, not wanting to see them in case they were as horrible as she imagined.

She had no concept of time, and so when Bellamy and Aurora were gone for work or school, sometimes the day dragged and dragged. Often she became scared, worried that today they wouldn't come home- today, the monsters would get them and she'd never see them again. Sometimes when this feeling of despair overwhelmed her, she would sit on the floor and cry- thick, silent tears would roll down her cheeks and splash onto the metal floor as she lay there, cold and tiny and forlorn, sure she was going to be alone for the rest of her life.

They had a clock in their room, a little one set high in the wall with red numbers that glowed at night. Octavia could not decipher their strange meaning, and had no concept of how to tell time. So for her second birthday Bellamy got his hands on a tiny analog clock- still meaningless to her- and took it apart. He got rid of the second and minute hands, and then he coloured in neat segments before putting the whole thing together again.

Now when the hour hand swept through the red zones, she knew she would have to endure being alone a bit longer. When it reached green, she knew it wouldn't be long before her brother would come home, and she made a game of how much she could do between when it was in the green zone and when it finally clicked over to blue- their reunion colour. Sure enough, when it reached blue Bellamy would come through the door from school and she would run to him, laughing with her breath more than her voice, hugging him, loving him. He would tell her how much he missed her, and she would forget all about her long, lonely day.

Between her official job as a seamstress and the male clients she took on the side, Aurora's schedule was less predictable, so no clock could track her movements.

Octavia loved all their games, but what she liked most of all was when he tucked her into bed with him, cuddled close, and told her stories. Sometimes he would repeat the mythology that their mother read to them, putting his own twist on an ending or changing around the events. Rather than be shocked by the blasphemy of him altering these tales, Octavia always preferred his versions. The heroes were always more heroic, the bad things always downplayed, the good things brought to life in vivid colour. He did all the voices, and described every scene with great detail. Often he made up his own stories, completely from scratch, but Octavia couldn't tell the two apart. He was so good at it that, even when she was totally exhausted, she refused to fall asleep until the story was over.

Today, after they ate together, they played with some of her toys- and then carefully put them away, in the hole, out of sight like all evidence of her existence. Then Bellamy tucked Octavia into their mother's bunk and climbed under the blanket with her, curling himself around her and stroking her head gently. Octavia watched him closely as he picked up a tendril of her hair and tucked it over her ear, and then he started speaking softly, in a special voice that was just for her, just for storytime. The anticipation was so great that she trembled just a little, wanting to squeal but knowing she couldn't.

"Once upon a time," Bellamy said softly, his lips close to her ear, "there was a powerful, brave, and beautiful princess." He tucked her into his chest and held her close. "She had long brown hair, and big blue eyes." Octavia grinned, recognising herself- she was often the star of his stories.

"She was so special that she had to be hidden away like a treasure," Bellamy continued, and Octavia pressed her hands over her mouth, wiggled her toes in excitement. Bellamy laughed softly at her, lovingly, as he went on, "As the princess got older, she started to wonder what was outside the cave. Her family came and went, always bringing her back what she needed, but she wanted to go outside and see the world for herself."

Octavia held her breath, listening intently, watching his lips as he spoke. The concept of the Ark, what that might look like, was still abstract to her at this age. She looked at pictures of the Earth, of moonrises and stars and the blackness of space, but without any windows of their own it all seemed like fantasy- no more real than pictures of animals and trees.

"One day, the princess went outside," Bellamy said, riveting her attention back to his face. "She was scared, but she was also brave. The cave was cold and dark, but as she got closer to the surface, she started to feel warmth coming from up above." He let that hang there- the image of the brave princess, scared but going forward anyway, moving up towards the sky.

"Then what, Bell?" she demanded, when she couldn't stand it anymore.

Her brother flashed her a grin and continued, "When she got to the mouth of the cave, she saw the most beautiful sight, O- all around her she saw grass, trees, flowers, and a huge blue sky. Birds were flying around, and bees were buzzing on the flowers, and the air smelled clear. Not like our air at all- it was fresh and light and full of yummy smells. It was a whole big, bright world, and it was all hers."

"What about monsters?" Octavia demanded, her little brow furrowing, concerned for this girl in the story and what might happen to her once she was outside.

"No monsters," Bellamy said. "Don't worry, O, she's safe out there."

Her eyes trailed to the door of their quarters, the door that opened and shut to admit her mother and brother every day. She raised a little hand and pointed at it. "What's outside?"

Bellamy looked at her in surprise, as though he was shocked that she'd asked that question, and then embarrassed for being shocked. He hesitated, as if trying to choose his words carefully. Then finally he said, "One day you're going to go outside too, O. One day you're going to walk out that door and be able to see anything you want to see. I'm going to take you."

She let out a long breath, her lower lip trembling for just a moment. "When?"

Before he could answer, the door suddenly swung open and both children froze, relaxing again only when they saw it was their mother. But then they tensed again, as Aurora's eyes lighted on them with obvious worry and stress.

"Quick!" she urged, running over and grabbing the blanket, ripping it off the two of them and throwing it to the floor. She grabbed Bellamy and hauled him off the bed, then grabbed Octavia and put her into his arms. "Hide!"

Octavia could feel her brother's heart pounding in his chest as he held her close, running for the table to pull it back and expose the hole.

"No time," Aurora urged. "Get in the shower- now, Bellamy!"

He clutched Octavia to him and she was so scared that she just hid her face in his chest, clinging to him like a little monkey, her body trembling as Bellamy ran for the bathroom. But before he'd made it anywhere near the door there was another crash, and again the door was open. Octavia let out a single wail, a cry she couldn't control because she was that scared, as her eyes landed on something absolutely terrifying.

A big man stood in the doorway, his blue eyes flashing with absolute rage, his chest heaving, and his angular face red with fury as he stared at them. He was huge, toweringly tall and muscular, his fists clenched, short hairs poking out of his face, a frightening picture nothing like anything she'd ever seen before.

A monster, right here in their quarters. Knowing just how important it was for her to never be seen by one of the monsters, Octavia believed her life was over. She was too terrified even to vomit or cry, though she badly wanted to do both.

Bellamy had frozen too, but he was staring at the man not just with fear but also with something that looked like recognition.

When the monster reached out toward her with his big hands, Octavia's body went stiff, her eyes widening as she felt her heart stop, her little body shaking in terror.

Aurora moved, grabbing Bellamy by the arm and shoving him into the little bathroom, Octavia still clutched in his arms. "Stay in there!" she snapped. Bellamy slammed the bathroom door, and then collapsed with his sister into the shower, slamming that door too. Both loud bangs made Octavia jump, her whole body a bundle of nerves. Bellamy's chest was heaving in panic, his heart pounding so hard that it made her cheek vibrate.

"Monster," she whispered, needing to say the word, needing to expel some of that absolute terror in the pit of her stomach, trying to process what she'd just seen.

"It's okay, O, I've got you," he said urgently, hugging her tightly.

Outside, the voices were muffled but not enough as the monster raged at Aurora, "That's my daughter! I can see plain as day she is- she's got my damn eyes, Aurora! How could you keep this from me?!" He was angry, but his voice was a loud hiss rather than a yell. Octavia didn't really understand what the words meant, what was being said, just that it was loud and terrifying.

"Bell," Octavia whispered. "Scary monster." She buried her face in his chest and slowly shook her head side to side, her little fists tightening into his clothes as she tried to keep breathing, tried not to scream, tried to make herself feel safe. "No," she told him, her voice shaking, as though he could fix this. "Go away."

In the main room, her mother and the monster sounded like they were playing tag- lots of chasing, moving, throwing, banging.

Octavia felt Bellamy slide his hand over her ear, felt him press her other ear to his chest as he kept his lips close to her and whispered, "Shshsh. You're having a bad dream. It's okay- I'm here."

She relaxed just a little. Was that true? Was she dreaming? If she was, then she knew it wasn't real. She was safe, and Bellamy was here to protect her. She just had to wait until she woke up.

Bellamy started singing, his voice soft but clear, not a particular song but just a tune. She listened carefully, letting her ears focus on the sound of his voice instead of on the commotion outside. She could hear her mother's voice once in a while, sounds like skin being hit, sounds like things falling.

Eventually, curled into her brother, finally overwhelmed by the stress of it all, Octavia fell asleep. When she woke up, she was tucked into her mother's bunk, the blanket tight around her, her family eating a quiet meal at the table. The relief was instantaneous, and she slid off the bunk and ran to her brother happily, hugging him tight. "Bad dream," she told him.

Bellamy pulled her up onto his lap and let her lean back into his chest. He stopped eating so she could finish his dinner as he said softly to her, "It's okay. You're awake now, and you're safe. Bad dreams aren't real."

"Mommy?" Octavia asked, seeing the blank expression on her mother's face as she stared at her own plate of food.

When Aurora didn't answer or even acknowledge her daughter's presence, Bellamy stroked a hand softly over his sister's hair and said, "Mom's tired, O. After dinner I'll tell you another story, and then you can sleep with me tonight. Okay?" Happily, Octavia nodded, going back to her food, taking comfort in Bellamy's warm arms around her.

And with that, the nightmare man with the red face was forgotten.