Chapter 6: Realizations
I woke up the next morning, after going to the park with Sonic the day before. Unfortunately I had gotten home more late than usual and skipped my pills. I had to take many pills before and after school and so did Shadow. I had to take a mixture of anti depressants and Shadow took stuff for his anger issues and bipolar. Something was still on the back of my mind: what did Sonic want want tell me at the park? How come he stopped himself from telling me? I take my pills and turn my head to look at the clock and see its time for me to go, so I grab my backpack and leave without Shadow. If he's late that's his problem, not mine.
I walk to the bus stop and see Sonic sitting in the red bench. My heart jumps in excitement as soon as I spot him, but tell myself to chill and approach him. "Hey dude" I greet him. He looks at me as I sit down next to him. "Hey" he says and looks away from me and to the direction the bus comes from. I get the urge to move closer to him, but I stop myself in time.
He keeps looking in that direction for a couple of minutes before looking at me and smiling. "I brought extra swimming stuff for ya, its in my backpack" My face turned red and I said "y-you didn't have to do that" then he chuckled. "Yeah I did and I'm pretty sure were the same size, i-in the swim shorts" Sonic said with a slight blush on his face. It was a warm day today, wasn't it? I could feel my face hot too. The bus stopped in front of us and we got up and got in, using student passes. Again, the bus was full. I leaned against a pole and Sonic leaned against me. It was probably unintentional since the bus was packed, but it still felt...I don't know...odd. He pressed himself harder against me as the bus began to move.
My heart began to beat faster and my hormones went wild. I should have asked him to move, but I didn't want to. I liked being this close to him. His body pressed harder and harder against me as the bus made sudden stops. His quills began to bother me a little, but I was to distracted by the feeling growing in my pants. Damn! N-not now! I shut my eyes and but my lip in instinct, people probably knew what was going on. It was pretty obvious. Them his tail began wagging like crazy. I looked through the window and saw that we were almost at our stop. I took off my backpack and put it in front of me as we got of the bus and walked. Sonic and I waked side by side silently for a couple of minutes. It was them when I noticed his face was as red as a tomato and had some drops of sweat.
"Y-you o-okay, dude?" I questioned, trying to act as if nothing had happened and trying to keep my voice calm. He only nodded in response with a bright smile. "I gotta take a shit" I lied as soon as we got into the building. It hadn't gone away yet, do I had to take care of it. "Me too" Great. We went inside the closest restroom, which was empty, and I ran into the nearest stall. I came out several minutes later and washed my hands. "It's about time you came out!" Sonic said, making me jump. I held my chest as I tried to calm down. "D-Dude! You amost gave me a heart attack!" I shrieked. He chucked and apologized.
At lunch, everyone was there at the table we usually sit on and everything was normal. Amy and Blaze were doing their thing, Mina and Espio were taking in French, Knuckles and Tails were teasing Silver about a girl something and Cream and Tails were doing homework. I was eating quietly, looking at Sonic once in a while. I really wanted to talk to him, but I couldn't bring myself to do so after the awkward incident from this morning. The fact that he was sitting across from me didn't help either.
If Shadow was here he would force me to talk to him. But I still wondered something: WHY did I want to talk to him so bad? Maybe I just wanted to know him better. Was that why I felt warm inside when he was with me alone? Why did I felt happy to know he wanted my friendship and company? I didn't feel like that about anyone else. Maybe the fact that I was over thinking this made me experience things that weren't really there.
Most importantly, I barely knew the guy! Ugh, this was all so freaking confusing. That's when I noticed that this whole time, while I was pondering the situation, I was staring into Sonic's lime green eyes and he was looking back with a simile. Crap. Embarrassed out of my mind, I grabbed my backpack and stood up. "Sorry, I have to go" I said in a rush and left the cafeteria without picking up my tray. The bell rang as soon as I got out of the cafeteria, meaning that I would have to go to the locker room to change for PE.
That's when I realized that Sonic had the extra swimming gear that he was going to let me borrow. I went to the looker room and just sat in front of my locker. I would have to wait for Sonic and apologize for my odd behavior. Soon enough, Sonic came about three minutes after I got there. Sonic say next to me, as if he didn't have anything else to do. "You uh were a little off today. Everything all right?" He asked looking concerned.
"Yeah, we should start changing now though" I respond quickly. He seems unsatisfied with my response, but shrugs it off and digs in his backpack. He took out two pair of black and blue swimming shorts and clear goggles. He gave a pair and opened his locker. I food the sane and put away my stuff.
I grabbed the pair of shorts and stopped myself. I couldn't wear my boxers underneath this, would gave to take them off. I looked around to see if no one was watching then something caught my eye. I looked away and covered my nose to keep the blood from coming. I got dressed as fat asI could and walked to the indoor pool with Sonic. After I saw what I saw, I couldn't look him in the eye without blushing, so I just kept looking straight ahead of me.
Eventually, the embarrassment wore off and I was back to normal about thirty minutes later. The teacher made us get in the pool some time later. Sonic had a difficult time getting in the pool. I found it weird because, you know, it was the small pool and not the big one. Mr. Bulldog talked to Sonic and eventually convinced him to get into the pull. Sonic went in, but sticked to the right side where everyone was.
Mr. Bulldog blew his whistle to get our attention and told us to swim or walk (the pool wasn't that deep) to the other side. Everyone including myself did. Everyone except Sonic. Coach blew his whistle again and told is to task amongst ourselves. Then Sonic got out of the pool and went to locker room. I talked to Sonic in my next class. I didn't bring up what had happened the period before because it was pretty obvious what had happened.
He's afraid of water. Question was: why did he act so confident and then chickened out out of nowhere? I went to the gym after school for practice, but no one was there which was weird because it was open in the first place. Guess there's no practice today. I went to the bathroom that was on the other side of the gym. I was about to leave after I was done but I hears twitched at the sound of a moan coming from nearby.
It wasn't from the boy's restroom, so it must have come from the girl's restroom. It wasn't any of my business, but curiosity got the best of me. I made sure no one was looking before stepping into the bathroom. The walls were painted pink, no surprise there, but what did surprised me was what I saw before my eyes.
A pink hedgehog and a purple cat were making out against the wall. Amy opened her eyes and gasped when she saw me. She pushed Blaze away so hard that she went tumbling down. "I-it's not what it looks like!" She said with a guilty expression on her face and before I knew it she was running out the door. I looked at Blaze who was already standing, dusting herself. "A-are you-?"
"Thanks a lot" she cut in as she pushed her way past me. It looked like I had gotten myself into done kind of trouble. And all because of my stupid curiosity. After that, I just went straight home. There was obviously no practice today and there was no real reason for me to stick around.
The next day Sonic and I took the bus but we got seats so we sat next to each other. He noticed something was wrong with me, but I kept it to myself. Neither Blaze or Amy showed up for lunch, which had everyone puzzled. After that, Sonic and I went to Pe. I avoided looking at him while we changed and he got into the pool quicker when we got there.
Mr. Bulldog told us to swim or walk to the other side. I was about to when I felt an hand almost crush my arm. I looked back and saw Sonic holding on to me as we moved farther and farther to the other side. That's when he wrapped his arms around my neck. Despite the water freezing, my face felt a little hot. Then the whole class was looking at us. It. Was. Embarrassing.
Then I felt something shaking. Sonic was shaking. He buried his face on my chest as his Whole body shook. "S-Sonic don't worry it'll be alright, it's just water" I said carefully to not disturb him. I don't know why, but something deep inside me told me to help him. It was the right thing to do. "If you sink I'll catch ya" I added. He looked up at me with his green eyes of his, looking like a defenseless lost child.
Which was weird because he always seemed so confident. "You promise?" He asked. I gave him a smile and nodded. I looked around to see the other students at the other side of the pool paying attention to something that Mr. Bulldog was saying. Guess we're sorta off the hook. "We can start by walking to the other side" I suggested with a chuckle to light up the mood and he nooded. We stood side to side and walked to the other side with my arm around him. After class, we went to the locker room to change. I changed standing up and Sonic changed sitting down.
As we changed I heard Sonic chuckle, at the same time my swimming shorts were at my ankles. I continued to change and heard Sonic say "you shrunk in size, dude" My face turned red and I looked at Sonic who was looking straight. I turned around grabbed my stuff and left awkwardly. Was he being a jerk or just a pervert?
Whatever it was it wasn't very nice after what I did for him. Or maybe he was flirting...? That's ridiculous, who the hell would flirt like that? I left for sixth period without him. However he had meant, it felt like an insult. After falling asleep in sixth period, I speed walked to the bus stop and took the very first bus that stopped there and left.
I got home a little before Shadow and took my pills. After taking them, I went to the living room and saw Shadow sitting on the couch. I jumped and let out a quick scream as i suddenly saw him. I held my chest trying to catch my breath and calm myself down. My heartbeat had increased greatly in just a second. "Oh man! I'm so sorry, Manic-"
"YOU COULD AT LEAST MAKE NOISE NEXT TIME! You almost gave me a heart attack!" I yelled and sat next to him on the couch after calming down. After a couple of silent minutes Shadow said "you're usually jumpy when you're tense put when your hiding something. So what is it?" Come to think about it, it might have something to do with the whole Sonic think. But I couldn't tell him that. But on the other hand it might help if i told somebody, or not. It wasn't just that, it was all the mixed emotions I was experiencing these last days. Like that time Sonic and I were against each other on the bus, or when I helped him walk across the pool.
I couldn't help to feel furious at myself as the memories ran through my head. Why was I letting all this happen? "Your silence confirms that there is something wrong. May I ask what?" asked Shadow. I looked into my brother's blood red eyes and began my weird series confession.
"I think I'm gay and I might like Sonic" I said. His face was expressionless and nodded with a hand on his chin. "Go on" "I want to quit the cheerleading squad because I saw Amy and Blaze kissing" "go on" "I'm having...well...I don't know if I should tell you this" I murmured. Looking up at my older brother, I wondered if I really could trust him. Of course I could. Now, should I tell him something like that. Sure it was private, but I needed advise; it was urgent.
"Think about it this way, is it something that is important but you wouldn't tell Farrell?" Shadow asked raising an eyebrow. I nodded. He knew me to well, didn't he? "Okay then, ask away" he said with a smile. I took a deep breath and organized my thoughts briefly before vocalizing them. "Weeell, I've been uh having...I mean getting aroused..." I could tell this isn't what he was expecting from the way his eyes bulged and almost pooped out of his skull. "Er right and this is an issue because...?" he questioned.
"Because I'm not supposed to" I responded, somewhat frustrated that I had to explain the obvious. "Why not?" he asked. I kept quiet for a couple of minutes to let him answer
his own question. A couple of minutes later, he let out a loud "ooohhh!"
His expression came back to a serious one and spoke. "Look Manic, I know that you don't like talking about what happened and I know that it really impacted your life but it doesn't mean it has to stop it. Maybe you're just moving on...and that's good"
That night, I thought about what Shadow had said. I laid on my bed after taking my meds. Maybe it was time for me to move on and get on with my life. Come to think of it, maybe that also meant to not take everything so seriously like Sonic's little joke earlier today.
"Hey Manic I-I'm really sorry about earlier" Sonic said with his ears down. I looked around to find myself in some kind of park. Sonic and I were sitting side by side on the grass watching the sunset. My vision was sort of blurry and I wasn't exactly controlling my actions or what I was saying. "Its okay, I knew you were kidding" I responded and moved closer to him. My heart began to pump faster and I tried to order myself to not move any closer, but failed. Sonic moved closer to me and laid his hand on mine. He smiled at me and kissed my cheek. I smiled, having liked the feeling ofhis soft lips against my cheek.
He blushed and looked away with a small smile. I chuckled and began to kiss the side of his neck softly. "M-manic, s-stop"
"I don't think so" I chuckled and stopped a while later. I wrapped my arms around his waist and brought him closer to me. I leaned in and fell..
I opened me eyes and looked at my surroundings. I was on my bedroom floor with my alarm clock going off.
I got up and got ready for school. I made sure to take a long time I'm the bathroom so my little friend would go back into it's cave and not cause me any embarrassment later this morning.
I pondered my dream on my way to the bus stop. How cute and innocent Sonic looked when I was about to...no no. Come on I wasn't gay, was I?
I sat on the bench on the bus stop and began to think. WAS I gay? I had never really thought about it all the way through. I had never really thought about girls that much or boys for that matter. Or had I? Ugh fuck.
Sonic came over a few minutes later and apologized for the incident of the day before. I accepted his apology absently and tried to not look at him. His face reminded me of that stupid dream. I just wanted to forget about it, bit it wouldn't leave!
"Dude I'm really sorry about yesterday, how about I make it up to ya?" Sonic's voice interrupted my thoughts. I had no choice but to look at him and ask how. His muzzle turned a little pinkish. "If you like coffee we could uh..go to the Starbucks close to school" he said. He probably meant the one that was across the street. It seemed like a good idea since it was usually packed in the morning and not so full in the afternoon...I
assume. "On you, right?" I asked, knowing that I would only accept his invitation if I would get free coffee. "Yeah, of course"
"Okay then, meet me after school by the main entrance" I said but Sonic made me feel like an idiot with the funny look he was giving me. "I know, I know, we have the same class" I said embarrassed, then the bus arrived. This bus actually had free seats. We went in, showed our passes to the driver and sat side to side and the bus began to move. "Oh by the way thanks for you know...accepting" said Sonic while rubbing his arm. I smiled and responded "no problem, after all the coffee's gonna be on you"
Some guys behind is began to laugh and laughed at my face when I looked back. The feeling of shame and harassment felt all too familiar. Those guys probably thought we were going on a date. Something in my gut told me I should have declined.
* * * * * *
I stood by Amy's locker after the first bell rang. She was here, I had seen her getting breakfast in the cafeteria. She would eventually come for her books, and that's when I would get my chance to talk to her. It was urgent. I leaned against the wall of lockers with my arms crossed as I waited for her and let outa heavy sigh. Students passed and Amy eventually showed up with Rouge and one of her cheerleader friends. "Hi Blaze" said Rouge cheerfully. "Hi Rouge" I said back and looked at Amy. She was opening her locker and getting her books out. She knew I was there, there was no way she didn't. After grabbing her books, she closed her locker and began to walk away. The third girl gave me a disgusted look before walking away and Rouge looked at me awkwardly and said "well, see you later" before walking away.
It was obvious that Amy didn't want anything to do with me. I felt like such an idiot, not to mention...hurt?
I hate to admit it, but I did feel hurt. Rejected. But it was all my fault! Not only did I not get her as a partner, I ruined our friendship.
I remember it well. It was the first day of school. I was in first grade and had just moved in this city. I sat on a bench on the playground watching the other kids play. I crossed my arms uncomfortably at this new environment and kept watching. My parents had insisted on me going to a public school rather than being schooled like I wanted. They said I needed to be more social, being an only child.
I grew bored fast and closed my eyes for a few minutes. "Hi" I heard a voice say. I opened my eyes and found a pink hedgehog sitting next to me. She had a really big smile and a red dress and a red bow on her head. "Hi" I said. "Do you want to be my friend? Why are you here by yourself? Come play tag with us!" She said excitedly. I didn't like going out of my comfort zone, but it seemed like this girl has good intentions.
"What's your name?" I asked. "I'm Amy Rose, what's you're name?" Amy asked smiling and swinging her feet back and forth. "I'm Blaze, nice to meet you" I said forming a smile on my lips. She got up and took my hand. "You should come play tag with us!
Prewy pwease?" She asked. "Okay" I agreed and got up as well.
She walked me over to her friends and said "this is Blaze and she'll be playing with us!"
The kids nodded and began to run off, then Amy touched arm and said "you're it!" before running off. This confused me. Was this part of the game? Amy must have noticed my puzzlement because she ran back and asked "you do know how to play, right?"
I shook my head, a little embarresed. "Well all you have to do is run up to someone and touch their shoulder and say 'you're it' then run away from that person" Amy explained. "But what is the point of it?" I asked. "Well to have fun!" She replied happily and ran away. Then I ran after her.
We became real close friends throughout elementary school. We were 'bff's' and did everything together. We had many sleep overs at Amy's house with some of Amy's friends of course.
Then when starting middle school, Amy became interested in boys and so did so did all the other girls I knew. Amy actually had a small crush on Silver and forced us to hang out, which is how I met him in the first place. It was odd that I myself didn't, but of course I kept it to myself. At first I paid no mind to it and thought it was not too serious. Maybe it was because most guys were immature jerks, but it wasn't that. It was no coincidence that I didn't find any of them attractive either.
One day, Amy and I were late for class and were changing in the locker room after physical education. I turned my head and saw her changing. The rest of my memory is blurry about the incident, but what I do remember is that since that day I've had a small crush on Amy.
I kept this hidden for the next couple of years and now that we're seniors I decided it was time to confess my true feelings for her, but it has obviously backfired.
I truly messed up.
Things didn't change by lunch. As a matter of fact I didn't see Amy. I sat with the others at the take we usually sat on and watched everybody do their thing as I ate silently. Cream and Tails were playing a very heated card game ( Yu-Gi-Oh! I believe), Espio has brought Vector and was helping him with some homework; Knuckles and Mina were talking. I felt empty at the moment. Alone.
I might be surrounded my acquaintances and friends physically, but not emotionally. I felt miserable.
"Hey Blaze, are you okay?" Silver asked as he sat next to me. "Hi" I answered not so cheerfully and not even bothering to answer his question. "I can tell you're upset, do you want to talk about it?" He asked. "I'm fine, really" I lied, hoping he couldn't see through me, but he could. I looked at Silver and he gave me a face that read "I don't believe you, I know you're lying"
I sighed loudly and glared at him, unfortunately my glare had no effect on him. He had grown immune to it over the years. "Take a guess, because only that way I'll tell you" I said thinking he would never guess.
"Hhhmmm tough one there...hhhmmm let me guess you finally wanted to officially date Amy, she declined and you're upset now, that it?" Silver guessed correctly. How did he know?!
"How did you know?" I asked. "Well you guys were always choose and it was kind of obvious" Silver answered with a shrug. "Now she's avoiding you..."
I stood up and took my tray of untouched grayish chicken mush and was about to leave when Silver said "I'm sorry, Blaze! I don't mean it that way"
Silver was somewhat naive and I guess he didn't realize the damage his words could cause. I sat back down and stared at my food. My stomach grumbled but my meal didn't seem appetizing at all. "Want to switch? I got some tuna thingy" Silver's voice piped up. I looked at him and nodded in agreement before he switched our trays.
"Oh my gosh! You guys are not going to believe this!" Said Mina shaking the whole table and getting everyone's attention. "What is it, Mina?" Knuckles asked looking a little frustrated. We all looked at her waiting for a response. She sat down and spoke:
"So I was walking here from the restroom and I saw Amy talking to a green hedgehog, I think it was Manic but I'm not sure since his fire looked a little darker-"
"Get to the point already!" cried Knuckles. "Okay, so Manic just asked Amy out on a date!" Mina said with a smile. I didn't pay attention at the other's reactions.
At the moment my surroundings had lost importance to me. I felt shattered, as if my heart had been stomped on and given back to me in a poor state. Despite this, Amy's distance made sense now. That's why she pushed me away when Manic caught us, she had a crush on him. And maybe she had used me to distract her attraction, which made me feel worse.
I stood up and walked to the closest restroom without processing my thoughts all the way through. Soon enough I saw Manic and Amy talking in the hallway. Amy gave him a quick "friendly" hug and walked the opposite way. Manic smiled and walked towards me. "Oh hey Blaze" he said cheerfully. His smiled angered me. He was obviously mocking me. "Everything alright?"
I ignored him and walked back to the cafeteria and he turned around and walked in the opposite direction. Sonic was sitting in my seat and eating my food when I got there. Silver was pulling on Sonic's quills trying to pull him away from my tray. "Stop! That's Blaze's food!" Silver cried. Both of them spotted me and stopped their actions. "I-I'm sorry, Blaze. I tried to stop him!" Said Silver. "Sorry Blaze, I thought you left and I was really huuungrryyyy...and they were all out of hot dogs and chili dogs"
"It doesn't matter, I lost my appetite anyway" I responded. Silver looked at me worriedly and opened his mouth to speak, but I already knew what he was going to say. "I saw Manic and Amy hugging after he asked her out on a date" I said. Sonic's ears fell sadly and he said "maybe it was a friendly hug"
"Mina said he had asked Amy out, I really don't think it was just a friendly hug" I said. Sonic looked rather upset, but he was able to shrug it off some minutes later. Then the bell rang and we all headed to our classes.
I walked down the hallway thinking about what happened this morning. Sonic just meant to be friendly, right? It wasn't an actual date...right?
I spotted Amy taking to a green hedgehog, who seemed familiar. He was wearing a black hoodie, similar to the one I was wearing and had a black backpack. I had a black backpack with green stripes. The guy walked away and Amy walked in my direction blushing. This was my chance to talk to Amy about leaving the cheerleading team. It had totally slipped my mind until I saw her.
"Hey, Amy" I said waving at her. "Hi Manic, what's up?" She responded. "Hey um...I'm sorry but I don't think I can continue going to the practices.
...I'm sorry"
"It's okay, I understand" she answered. "I hope I didn't offend you by-"
Amy interrupted by wrapping her arms around me and saying it was okay. I hugged back and then we said goodbye before walking away to where we were supposed to be.
"Oh hey Blaze!"
Sonic and I walked out of English class together after school. He had been awfully silent since fifth period, which I found odd. He seemed so distant. It made me wonder if it was even a good idea to still get coffee after class. We walked out and went to the Starbucks that was across the street.
He ordered our coffees and he paid like he had agreed to. Then we sat at an open table. The silence between us was somewhat thick and uncomfortable. My heart best faster and faster every time I tried to speak, but i had to speak because otherwise he would just stay silent. I took a breath and opened my-
"So, do ya have any plans for today?"
I looked up at him in surprise that he had spoken before brain wasn't working right. Deciding to "light up the mood", I open my big mouth and respond "well actually I'm going on a date"
Sonic's eyes meet mine and then he looks at the ground. It was obvious that what I said had upset him. Guilt shook me like an earthquake and woke me from my dozing off. For some reason...he was sad. Even though I kinda wanted him to think that I thought this was the so called date. That was too much to ask.
"So...with Amy?" Sonic asked turning his gaze towards me. An expression of puzzlement formed in face. Why would he ever think I liked Amy? I quickly denied the accusation and asked him why he thought I would have a date with Amy. "Someome told me that they saw your and Amy hugging someone else heard you asking her out" Sonic said in a flat tone of voice. It made sense now though. This was just a huge misunderstanding!
"Dude! This is just a big misunderstanding. I didn't ask her out, some hedgehog did and then I talked to her and she gave me a friendly hug. S' all" I said grinning, but Sonic didn't seen convinced one bit. "Right, and that guy was green like you and was wearing the same thing you were or had the same backpack, and a similar voice to yours, huh?"
"Yeah!" I answered eagerly, too soon for my brain to detect the sarcasm in his voice. "I'll see ya later, Manic" Sonic said as he got up. Then he left the Café and went home running when he usually took the bus.
I couldn't stop thinking about Amy. I was furious with her, yet missed her at the same time. She wouldn't answer her phone or talk to me school. I had to talk to her about what happened. We can't keep avoiding each other for the next couple of months. Although, there was one thing I had not tried yet.
I grabbed my phone from my dresser and clicked on messages. I went down to new message and typed Amy's number. The only reason I didn't have her number was because we usually just call each other that much and I don't like texting. I got there but only starred at the white space and the blinking line waiting for me to type.
I wasn't exactly sure what to write. Maybe it would be better if I talked to her in person.
I typed in:
'We need to talk, meet me at the park'
Then clicked send. With low expectations of actually getting a response, I left my phone in my bedroom and went to the living room to distract myself.
There you have it, another chapter. Sorry if there were some mistakes, but i was in a rush to update. Please review and tell me what you thought of this chapter, hope you liked it ^^
Also, I was thinking of making some Vector x Espio references in this story, what do you guys think? Please tell me in your review, until next time.
Oh btw, there was an guest that asked for the song of last chapter. I actually changer the lyrics for comedy purposes, but the songs were Last Caress and 2x4 by Metallica :)