cause I don't wanna fall in love, If you don't wanna try, But all that I've been thinking of, Is maybe that you might - Jessie Ware

Donna woke up the next morning with a massive headache. Ooh god, I'm too old for this shit, she thought as she tried to remember what happened last night. A tear ran down her face when the images of Harvey and her ran through her mind; she felt so stupid for almost throwing herself on him, only to have him run away. But she really thought that this time it would be different, that he was actually ready .. for her.

An hour later her phone rang; it was Rachel. "He, Rach," Donna said when she answered her phone.

"Donna, I have something big to tell you!" she heard her friend say on the phone, but she wasn't able to respond with the same enthusiasm; "Ooh, okay, what's up?"

Rachel heard the sadness in her voice: "Donna, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"No you're not," Rachel said, "I'm coming over, I'll be there in ten."

Last night, Mike had brought Rachel back home and he started one of his babbles which ended in him proposing to Rachel, but not before he had, accidently, told her about his conversation with Harvey of earlier that evening. She could not believe she actually had to thank her boss for being engaged right now, but she really liked how he had opened up to Mike about her best friend. She was almost more happy for Donna than she was about her own engagement, but when she had heard Donna on the phone she feared the worst. How was it possible for a man to be so successful in his career, to finally realize what he wants and then assumedly already screw it up in less than 24 hours, she thought.

Rachel handed a box of donuts over to Donna, when Donna saw the ring on her finger. "What's that?"

"Ooh, you mean this," Rachel said as she held her hand up.

"Aaaaaaaaah," the both screamed at the same time.

"OMG, OMG, he proposed?!" Donna exclaimed, "tell me everything."

Rachel filled her in with the details while they were enjoying their tea and donuts; "and I said yes."

"Ooh, that's so romantic," Donna answered, "do you have a date yet."

"No, we haven't talked about the planning yet, but I have to ask," Rachel said, "do you want to be my maid of honour?"

"Ooh, Rach!" Donna exclaimed while she hugged her friend, "of course I do! I would love to!"

"But I did not only come over here to tell you that I'm engaged," Rachel said, "I also came to see if you were okay?"

Donna let her head hang down.

"Tell me, what happened with you and Harvey when we left?"

"At first, we were actually having a really great time," Donna started, "it was so funny…"

Donna and Harvey were still sitting at the bar enjoying some Macallen 36 when a man walked up to them. "Specter?!" the man said and Harvey already started to turn around, "Harriet Specter?! Is that you? Where's Michelle?" Donna's head turned red as she saw a confused Harvey standing next to her; "uhm," she said, "actually.." "Ooh too bad, Michelle just left," Harvey interrupted her. "Hi, I'm Donald Paulsen, Harriet's assistant," Harvey said while he protectively placed his arm around her waist. His movement didn't go unnoticed and the man said: " Ooh, assistant, huh?!" "I could be her assistant too, if you don't mind to share," he continued as he winked and nodded his head at Harvey's arm that was holding Donna against him."Believe me," Harvey started, "if you were ever lucky enough to have her. You wouldn't want to share."

"OMG, he really said that?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, but the thing is," Donna said, "that's exactly what I once told him back in the D.A.'s office."

"And he remembered?"

"Apparently."

"Wow, what happened next? Cause surely that couldn't have made you this upset."

Donna told her about how Harvey had brought her home, how she had wanted to kiss him, but that he had walked pulled away. Not only pulled away, he walked away.

"Rach, I feel so stupid," she said, "I really thought it would be different this time. I really thought he wanted this too, especially since he opened up to me so much these past couple of days."

"Past couple of days?" Rachel asked.

Donna had forgotten that no-one knew that she had spent the past two days at Harvey's. She told her friend about Reggie and how she had helped Harvey take care of him. How Harvey had proven to be way more domestic than she ever imagined or hoped he would be; how he cooked her dinner, how he had let her sleep over and the stories he had told about his family. She really felt that they had bonded more in the past 48 hours than in the past half year.

"Wow, that really sounds like he has changed." Rachel said.

"Yeah, but then why? Why didn't he want to kiss me?"

Rachel was sure that Harvey would have wanted to, but she couldn't tell her what Mike had accidentally told her, not even to comfort Donna. She assumed he was still going to do that, so she decided it was her task to convince Donna not to give up on Harvey just yet.

"Donna, I'm no Harvey expert, but what you just told me … sounds to me like he's changing. You said that you felt he wasn't ready ten years ago, I don't know if he is now, but he's changing. I think he only just realized that he might be ready and that he wants to do it differently this time," Rachel said, "I assume you were both drunk last night and if he would have kissed you, he would have done what he has always done. He would have treated you like the numerous of ladies of whom he probably doesn't even know their names. Maybe he was scared that you would regret it, because it would have happened as a result of too much scotch."

Donna just nodded, she repeated Rachel's words in her head and they did make sense, but she still felt hurt: "but I can't wait forever, Rach."

"I know, Donna, it's hard to wait for something you know might never happen, but it's harder to give up when it's everything you want. And if, even after all what you've been through with him, he's still in your mind, he might be worth taking the risk."

"It is everything I want," she mumbled out loud.

"Then give him the chance to open up to you even more, to show you that he's ready. But that does mean that you need to change as well, Donna. I know, it's your thing, all these witty comments, but you also use them as a defence mechanism; especially when it comes to Harvey. I know it's scary, but you need to let your walls down. Let him surprise you."

"And what if it doesn't work out."

"Then you know you've tried, that you have given it your all. Then there will be no more 'what ifs'."