Chapter 6 - Jace's P.O.V.

I stalked away from my friends, very annoyed. Clary hadn't told me she was in love with anyone. Then, I realised that Clary was spending so much time helping me with my problems, she probably hadn't had the time. But I vowed to myself to ask her about it when I next saw her.

I didn't see Clary for days. Each day that she skipped school, I saw my friends slowly stop forcing their faces into smiles whenever they saw me. They looked upset and worried all of the time. They would whisper to each other, but whatever conversation they would have would abruptly cease whenever I came near them. I began to worry for Clary, but then Kaelie would erase all of that and make me feel amazing.

Finally, Clary came into PM Homeroom (which I shared with her). She spotted me and she seemed to be torn between throwing up, and running out of the building screaming. Taking a deep breath, she smiled faintly at me and sat down at the end of the row. I looked down the row, confused. Clary always sat next to me. So why was she sitting at the end of the row today? Roll-call came and went, and as soon as the bell rang, Clary was gone.

All throughout Maths and Economics, I sat wondering why Clary was avoiding me. Finally, after school, I found her.

"Clary, when were you going to tell me about this crush you have?" I demanded, as we walked in silence to the family playground between her house and mine. All blood drained from her face and she started turning green. "Whoa, whoa, I'm not mad or anything. Just tell me about the guy." I couldn't hide the slight bitter tone of my voice.
Clary's eyes widened slightly, but understanding dawned on her. The colour returned to her cheeks and she cleared her throat. "Yeah, okay. He's… he's amazing. He's so trustworthy and honest and… he's witty and sarcastic and he's so damn hot!" Clary's voice turned adoring and full of awe.
I cleared my throat then. "And, uh, the guys tell me he has a girlfriend?"
Her face fell and I internally smacked myself. Great going, Jace. Just upset your best friend. "Yeah. Yeah, he does. She's great, too, actually. They… they suit each other." Her voice turned hoarse and like she was trying hard not to cry.
I softened at her expression. "What's she like? What's he like? Get it off your chest, Clare. Come on. Tell Jace all about it." I sat her down on one of the swings and then sat down on the one next to hers. I swivelled the swing around so that I was facing her. "Well? Out with it."
"I'll start with y- the guy. Well, he has the most gorgeous hair! I mean, it's the best shade of blonde, in my opinion!" She gushed, slightly. I huffed internally. This was not informing me on who this guy is! Half the guys at school are blonde! "And his eyes! They're so g- I mean, they're the most amazing eyes in the world!" I was too caught up in the implications and eliminating the possibilies, that I missed her slight slip. "He's really… well, he's really good-looking. Very attractive. Physically, at least." She was blushing furiously while saying this, showing her embarrassment. I found myself staring at her, admiring her innocent beauty, before slapping myself mentally. I am in a relationship with a beautiful, kind, amazing girl! Do not check out best friend during this period of time. Remember, she's got a crush on some guy. "Mentally, I'm sure he's fine, and he does well at school. I talk to him sometimes and he tells me his GPA and his marks and stuff… he's pretty studious… when he wants to be…" She fiddled with his fingers whilst saying that they talk sometimes, which should have sent up red flags in my head, since that was Clary Fray's telltale sign that she was lying. But, I was too distracted. "He's pretty sarcastic. I hear him talking to other people and, whilst they say some stuff about him, I make my own research. He's sarcastic and funny and witty and brutally honest and…" she paused, her eyes watering up, "he's not mine. I… Sorry. I can't talk about him like I own him. He's someone else's. And she's his."
"It's okay. Now, tell me about her. If you want." I asked, gently, wondering whether this question would send her over the edge and make her cry.
"No, I don't mind. She's the nicest person ever. She's gorgeous. You know Helen Blackthorn? That lesbian chick you tried to date before Kaelie? Well, if his girlfriend swung that way, Helen wouldn't waste a second. She's like… like Isabelle. Well, not as pretty as her, in my opinion. Then again, I don't find anyone prettier than Isabelle. This girl is sweet and kind and she smiles at me, even though I'm sure she knows I like her guy, and if she doesn't know, I'm sure she's guessed. I mean, she's amazing. She's funny, I guess, and her sarcasm and wit aren't too bad either. He makes up for what she lacks in both departments. She… She's perfect for him. I'm not." She looked down.
"I'm sure that's not true." I tried to comfort her.
"No, it is. They suit each other. They're perfect together. She's level-headed enough to keep him from dreaming away. He's daring enough to give her adventure. They're both kind enough to be Homecoming King and Queen, not to mention Prom King and Queen. They're the couple most relationships aim to be. Never once have I heard them argue. Never once has anyone seen them angry with each other." She started to raise her voice, slightly angry. Then, she deflated completely. "I want that with him, Jonno. I want him. But, I can't have him." Clary looked surprised, as if she didn't realise that she had actually admitted everything she had just said.
I realised just how deep in love she was with this guy. Clary had just called me 'Jonno', which she only used under serious conditions. She only used it like so because she knew I hated my given name: Jonathon. Suddenly, an angry, burning, betrayed feeling arose within me. I was stuck questioning why. I wasn't angry at her, Clary had every right to fall in love with guys; I wasn't burning up, I hadn't developed a fever; and I wasn't betrayed, Clary wasn't doing anything against me. So why did I feel like I was being ripped apart? I, being smart, decided to ask Isabelle. I turned to ask Clary where Isabelle was, but she had disappeared. I frantically looked around myself, to see a wisp of fiery red hair fading around the corner. I commended her stealth at escaping me.
Pulling out my phone, I texted Isabelle.

Iz? Come meet me outside our house. - Jace
Okay. Need me to bring anything? - Isabelle
Yeah. Alec and Magnus would be helpful. - Jace
Can I bring Simon as well? - Isabelle
If you must. - Jace
See you in a few. - Isabelle

Isabelle appeared after what seemed like a few seconds to me, but I knew it had been longer, as the sky was turning dark.
"Hey, Jace. What's up?" Isabelle asked.
"Well, Clary just described the boy she likes and his girlfriend. She called me 'Jonno'. She's serious about this guy, isn't she?"
Isabelle fiddled with her shirt's hem. "Yeah. Yeah, she is. Actually," she looked around at our group, "we're worried about her. She's… she's been saying things that are… unhealthy. She's been… I guess you could call it self-harming. Only psychologically, though. Not, literally, like cutting or hunger strikes."
My eyes were wide. "What do you mean, self-harming?" I asked, shocked that our ClareBear would do such a thing.
"I mean, she does things for this guy, the guy she's crushing on, that other girls wouldn't do. If he's sad, she'll cheer him up. Whatever the cost. If he's angry, she'll calm him, not caring if she gets hurt. Recently, she did something like this when he was sad. She… she went to her secret hideout. Only I know where it is, and I'm not allowed to tell you. Girl oath. She… she was bawling her eyes out. This… this isn't healthy. I want her to tell him. Just… to tell him, but she's scared he'll shut her out. She thinks he'll desert her. She thinks he'll leave her and break her heart. So, she tells me she's content with loving him from afar and only entering the picture when she's needed as the caring friend."
My lips twitched into a smile. "That sounds like Clary." I looked down. "Is there any way for me to convince her to tell her crush?"
Isabelle's eyes widened, almost comically. She fell off the bench she was sitting on. "No! On no account must you do that! She'll cry. She doesn't want you to get angry that she'll be spending absurd amounts of time with this guy if things work out, and if they don't, she doesn't want to seem really clingy and get you mad, then. Don't prompt her. Leave it to me. Girls take advice better from girls they trust. Chicks before dicks, man. She'll prefer it coming from me. Believe me." Isabelle stood from the bench. "Si and I have to go now. Magnus will take over being relationship guru. You can talk about your relationship with him. I'll get Clary to tell me everything she knows about this guy. Then, the research begins." She rubbed her hands, almost menacingly, before waving her fingers in a gesture of farewell and leaving, pulling Simon with her.

"Well, Lover Boy. Spill the beans. Come on. Tell Magnus everything."
I had a rather disturbing sense of déjà vu as I heard him say that, but shook my head and began telling the story of how Kaelie and I met, how we were as a couple before we broke up, how Kaelie broke up with me, how Clary got us back together before disappearing, how I was super worried about Clary but also super happy about Kaelie, and now about being worried about Clary again. I looked up at Magnus, who shared a glance with Alec.
"Dayum, boy! I asked about your relationship, not relationships! You seem to be dating both this Kaelie girl and Biscuit." Magnus said. 'Biscuit' referred to Clary, stemming from their first meeting, in which Clary was so nervous, she kept offering biscuits and eating them, simply for the want of something to do.
I laughed. "As if I'd ever be in a relationship with Clary! That's ludicrous! Insane! Why on Earth would I ever be in a relationship with someone like Clary? She's practically my sister!"
Alec had been giving me death looks and was crossing his hand rapidly against his throat, like he was beheading himself with his hand. It was only later that I realised that he was trying to get me to stop. Pausing, I cocked my head at him. Silence befell us before…
"That's the sound of Clary crying!" I jumped up and whispered furiously at Alec. "Why is she crying?" Alec shrugged. Of course he wouldn't know, he was with me since Clary left.
I ran, following the noise of the sobbing as it got louder and louder, until…

"Oh, Clary. Cherry, what's up?" I asked her, pulling her in for a hug. She shook her head, indicating that she couldn't, or wouldn't, answer. "Iz, why's she crying?"
Isabelle looked absolutely furious as she answered, "She just heard her crush and some of his friends talk about relationships and stuff. Her crush and his girlfriend's relationship was on hold for a bit, and he obviously hadn't told them they were back together. His friends told him to see if Clary was available, because she seemed close to him. He laughed and said something that only an asshat would say." Our group had adopted a bunch of less offensive cusses from Clary. "I'm paraphrasing, of course, but he basically said 'never in a million years'."
That made Clary cry harder, but she pushed away from me. She looked me in the eye. Green against gold. Watery against dry. Her against me. "I'm fine." She tried at a smile, but it looked like a grimace. "I'm just… gonna go home. I might not be in school for a while. Don't worry. I'll be in next week." She waved as she and Isabelle made their way to their shared apartment.
"But today's Monday, Simon." I said, confused.