Words I've Never Said

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Wolf or make any money from this story, I do however own Lily and my OCs.

Warning: Adult language, gore, sexual situations, death, bad ass werewolves and full moon galore! Seriously…read at your own risk.

Note: A huge thank you to those who have been reviewing! The Person Under Your Bed, Wabi-Sabi1090, Teresaeda28, Jenna West21, Carlie13 and The Things You Wish You Knew. You guys rock, thank you. And thank you to all those who added me to their following/favorites lists!

*** also don't think I hate Jackson, aka Colton, I really don't, but for the sake of the story well…I have to make him the asshole lol

Now…onto the next chapter!

KCatherine~

The first thing that came to Lily's mind was that she wasn't in her bed. How lame was that? To realize first thing when awakening that she wasn't in her bed. How did she know though? Well for one it wasn't as soft as hers was. Clue number one. The sheets were not her silky ones, no…they were cotton or something else. Clue number two. And finally her room and bed never smelled of spice, burnt wood and the woods on a rainy day. Hers smelled of jasmine and vanilla, with a bit of Splitz' scent mixed in as well. Hers did not smell feral, dangerous and intoxicatingly male.

That certainly had Lily's eyes snapping wide open as her body shot into an up-right position. This was not her room and most definitely not her home as the light from the window next to her showed off where she was, 'Where…where am I?' Blue eyes glanced over the room she was in, blinking in confusion at the burnt marks that covered the wall to her left and the wall in front of her that held the door. The door that was completely charred and really she wondered for a moment how it was it was still holding up. Burnt marks covered the wooden floor in some areas, mostly around the two walls and there was only one large dresser that seemed lucky enough to have no damage done to it.

It was natural for her to feel fear…it was a normal reaction given the situation.

Looking down she gently fingered the forest green blanket that fell around her waist and legs before freezing at the sight of her bare arms. So of course her eyes went down to her chest, widening a whole lot more at the sight of the large dark grey t-shirt she was wearing. That really wasn't hers! 'Oh my God! What happened last night?!' What had she done?

The scent of it matched the room. Male. Only one male she knew smelled like it did though…Stranger Danger.

She couldn't remember anything at the moment and that terrified her as Lily shot out of the bed only to yelp as cool air hit her legs.

Her bare legs.

Where the hell were her jeans? 'Oh no…ooohh noooo!' By this point she was beyond freaking out as she grabbed her head, as if that would help any, and quickly began searching for her clothes. First thing to do was find them and the second thing to do was get the hell out of the house. Hopefully without being seen or caught. Only one problem stood in her way though. Her clothes were nowhere to be seen! Not on the floor, a quick shift through the sheets proved worthless and she even went as far as to look under the bed.

Where the fuck were they?

Ok then…calm down…she could do this…Plan B it was then.

Practically running to the dresser Lily began opening and looking through each draw. Privacy be damned when she was almost butt naked. In a strangers room! In a strangers shirt! Thank goodness she still had on her black underwear and bra though!

First draw held socks and boxers which she was quick to close, she really didn't need to see any of that. Second held different kinds of shirts, she didn't need those. Ah! But the third draw held what she needed; pants! Screw it if they were too big or too long, she was taking them and leaving. No way was she going to parade around how she was now. A quick glance at her window showed her the exit. Nope…no way was she going to leave the room through the door; Stanger Danger could be out there somewhere.

Grabbing the first pair on top Lily didn't even bother to unbutton or unzip them, they easily slid over her tinier legs and waist and while keeping them up with one of her hands she moved towards the window and slowly began to ease it open, ever…so…gent-"What do you think you're doing?"

"Damn it!"

Swirling around Lily released her hold on both items and stared in shock and horror at the man leaning against the now opened door frame, since there was nothing holding up the pants, they simply fell in a pool around her ankles. For a moment time seemed to stand still as Lily's face flushed red with humiliation and fear while Derek's was…well…blank. Though a black brow did raise up at the scene before him. This was not what he was expecting when he entered his room. Light green eyes trailed down her body taking notice she was still in his shirt before going down long, muscular thighs and calves before narrowing at the jeans at her feet. Those were his jeans.

All at once time once again caught back up to them as within seconds she was snatching the top part of the pants and was quickly pulling them back up, hissing out, "G-get out! Can't you k-knock or something?" This was horrible…absolutely humiliating and horrible and oh goodness she wanted the floor to swallow her whole right then and there!

Both brows went up as his eyes rose back up to look at her face, Derek crossed his arms over his chest and said, "This is my room." The way he said it was like…stating the sky was blue or the grass was green. But to her it confirmed her worst fears and while he found it highly amusing to watch her facial reaction to the whole thing, she did not, "W-what did w-we do?"

"Nothing," Derek's word was simple and easy to understand. Plus it was the truth, they hadn't done anything.

She didn't believe him…nope…not one bit, scrunching up her face in confusion Lily threw out quickly, "Y-yeah? W-well where d-did you s-sleep?"

"Down stairs."

"Down s-stairs?"

"I just said that…stop stuttering. It's annoying."

AH! Men! This is why she didn't like them! Not that she liked women like that either, but men just always pissed her off. Gritting her teeth at him Lily clenched her hands, grabbing a fist full of cloth as she finally let loose what had been on her mind, "Then why the hell and I naked?!" Never had she truly raised her voice at someone before, mostly a hard tone here and there made her point but this time…this time was different. Her emotions were wacky all because of the instinctually knowledge of the full moon that night and the stranger before her.

Well he was getting annoyed with her as well as his eyes narrowed while taking a few steps further into his room as he growled, "You aren't naked." And she wasn't, she was wearing his clothing.

Pulling said clothing closer and tighter against her Lily was quick to respond, "I woke up in only a shirt! And not my own! I was practically naked in some stranger's bed…where are my clothes?" She just wanted to get dress and leave.

"They are in the trash."

Oh no…that was not what she wanted to hear. Anger and fear clashed against each other as her mind tried to work through what was going on. Her breathing came in short, quick breaths as Lily reached a hand, not the hand holding up the pants, on the window; the cool glass feeling good against her warmer skin. Why were they in the trash? Was he going to do something? Those were her nice clothes! Was he going to kill her? "W-why are they i-in the t-trash?"

"You threw up all over them and myself. They were beyond ruined."

Whoa..wait-what? That was not at all what she had been expecting to hear. Shaking her head she took a small step back, "You're lying."

Smirking at her response Derek couldn't help but ask, "Am I?" his question a challenge as he took another step closer.

Biting her lip Lily gently stared him down as she shook her head slightly, no…no-he hadn't been lying; his heart never changed its pace. Her throwing up was impossible though. She had never gotten sick before, not from food poisoning, no flu, no allergies, not even the common cold affected her. Hell, not even drinking twenty beers harmed her. Might make her a little tipsy, but never drunk. Lily never got sick, and she told him so.

Staring at her for a moment he knew that now was the time to bring up everything, he needed to know a few things and she was going to answer them. She had no choice in the matter.

Keeping his arms crossed he tilted his head just a little to the side while asking, "What do you remember from last night?" Though it was in a form of a question Lily heard the commanding tone and she did not like it one bit, but for now she ignored it and focused on his words, feeling her heart picking up again as she said, "Y…you said nothing happened between u-"

"I'm not talking about that. Nothing did happen between us. I'm talking about when you were at the party."

Party? What was he talking about? Biting her lip harder she shook her head again, sending her curled, tangled hair to quiver around her shoulders, "I don't know…"

Releasing a huff of air Derek had a feeling this would happen, she had shifted really late last night just before he had gotten them to the house, but during the change she had chucked up everything in her system, her body's way of trying to force the drugs out. For such a small, thin…and she really was too thin, of a girl she packed a punch and could sure as hell bite and scratch like a hell cat. Wolf…like a hell wolf. At least she was one of the prettier female werewolves out there, even in her wolf form. He figured she might not remember what had happened, while he hopped that wasn't the case this time…it was.

"Think hard, try to remember."

Blinking at his words Lily nodded a little as she glanced down at the floor, light blue eyes glazed over as she lost focus on the ground, concentrating hard enough to cause a headache to start forming. Remember…remember…remember! The thing was…she felt like she didn't want to remember. Like if she did, it would change something…everything. Clenching her eyes closed Lily began shaking her head, "I can't….I can't remember."

For a moment Derek didn't say a word, just kept on staring at her before sighing out loud. Looking back towards the open doorway he cast another look towards her before nodding back, "Come here." When her brows pinched together at his words but she ever so slowly walked towards him before stopping a few feet, not wanting to get too close and waited for him to lead the way. Amused at her reaction Derek backed away, turning around all the way as he made his way out the door and down to the next room that hadn't been too badly damaged in the fire those ten years ago, some of the rooms were manageable but there was hardly a place in the house that hadn't been marked in some or more way. Downstairs and the left side of the house were the worst of it all. Opening the door he waited for her to go in first, which she did so cautiously and nervously, smirking he followed her into the restroom. The light from the window there was enough to make the room bright enough for the two to see as Derek placed his hands on her shoulders, taking note of the way she tensed beyond belief, and turned her to face the cracked mirror. Why would he buy a new one when he could still see his reflection? The crack was only down near the bottom of the glass.

Unreadable green eyes watched as light blue ones looked up into her own reflection, watching them widen in pure shock and horror as a small cry tore through her parted lips at the sight of her. Immediately her hands rushed up to pull her hair up and out of her way so she could view her neck better not caring this time that the pants fell down without her holding them up, bruises and red marks decorated her smooth skin in a scattered mess. Touching one of them with a shaking hand tears began to fill her eyes because she knew what had caused them…she just didn't remember who.

"Th…they should have healed…" Her soft whisper was for her to hear only but of course Derek heard it clear as day as he shook his head at her through the mirror, "The drug is still in your system, and your body won't start healing minor wounds until it gets rid of the poison inside first."

Drug…her eyes said it all as she looked up at his reflection before looking back at the marks, and when she felt his hands on her shoulders tightening it was like a dam broke loose in her mind and she remembered…everything. From the phone call from her sister, the cleaning of her apartment, her sister picking her up to go to some party with a guy she tried hooking her up with. The same guy who yelled at Splitz. Getting to the party, the loud noise and foul stench of booze and lust, meeting Stiles and those two others. Drinking with Jackson…texting…feeling numb and dizzy…the kissing…the harsh words…the hand on her mouth…her body…her stomach…teeth on skin, hard forceful lips on hers, demanding entrance. The taste of him…the feel of his body holding her captive. Not being able to defend herself…the helplessness. Feeling out of control…oh God.

She was going to panic.

Tears fell from her eyes freely now as she looked back up to see her face only to jerk back at the eyes staring at her. Reminding her of how un-normal she was.

The screaming of Jackson's name, him being shoved off of her, being free until someone else grabbed a hold of her, concerned and freaked out brown eyes, telling her not to 'wolf out'. And then running. She remembered the running.

Then nothing.

"You remember." It was not a question but she nodded without realizing it as she kept her eyes on herself. Clenching her hands against the cold ceramic of the sink Lily could feel herself losing it, how was one to react when they had been drugged, and then sexually assaulted? She felt that letting herself have a good cry was a start…then maybe scrub herself raw in the shower following after that. Could she call the police on him? He was a minor…would she be the one to get into trouble? She couldn't prove anything once the marks were gone…but what about her blood? Surely if what the guy said was true it was still in her system which meant she at least had something on her side.

"I-I need to go to the police…" she paid him no attention as she nodded to herself again and went to find her way out of the room and out of the house to be reminded that someone had their hands on her and that someone was not about to let her leave with that thought in mind.

Glaring down at her Derek shook his head when she turned wide eyes up at him, "You can't go there."

"W-what do you mean I can't go to there? I was drugged…and almost raped! Like hell I can't! Let me go!" Her voice rose until she was screaming at him as she began struggling to get him to release her, now that she knew what she needed to do…where she needed to go. But his grip was relentless as he shook her to gain her attention, lowering his head down to so they were looking right into each other he yelled out, "You can't go to the police because they aren't going to do anything and you can't give them your blood! Our blood is not completely human and that will raise questions that should never be answered."

His last sentence had her staring at him in confusion…"Our blood? What are you talking about not completely human? You're not making any sense, let me go!"

Finding what little patience remained inside him Derek shoved her back until her lower back was pressed into the sink hard enough to cause her to grimace as he made his voice low and easy to understand for the struggling female, "I am a werewolf…and so are you."

What. The Fuck. That wasn't at all what she was expecting to hear as she froze stock still, thinking that she was a room with an insane person to truly believe that.

Alright…his patience had ran out as a deep growl vibrated through the air that had Lily instinctually stilling as she stared wide eyed as light green bled to shocking glowing blue and she watched as his lips parted to reveal slowly growing canines. 'Oh my god, ohmygod, ohmygod!' This time when the fears fell they were from fear as another growl, much louder this time, echoed in the tiny room. Every muscle heaved as that one seemed to call something in her to respond in a way she had only felt once. Twelve years ago. Her breath caught in her throat as she felt the exploding pain in her head and body, her hands reaching up to grab her head as she tried hunching over but with Derek's body so close to hers it didn't work out the way she planned as her forehead bumped into his chest, which she was quick to pull back from as she fought against the feeling inside her. It had never been this hard to control before…so why now?

"Don't try to fight it…it makes it worse." To say Derek was impressed that she didn't immediately start to change wouldn't have been a lie. It was impressive. And idiotic.

"Sh-ut up!" Her scream had him wincing at her close proximity but he forced her head up with a grip on her chin to make her look at him, he knew from experience that shifting with someone there could make it better than being alone. But the true panic and fear in her eyes had him really looking at her as he stood there all blank face before his eyes went wide with a rare emotion of disbelief. It was like she had no clue what was happening to her. There was no way she had lived this long and had never not shifted before…it was impossible. Holding her tighter with his clawed hands as she pitched forwards as a cry rang through the air he watched as she clenched her eyes shut in pure agony, tears falling from lashes and all at once he felt something he hadn't felt in a long time. Guilt. Chest tightening at the clearly distressed girl that he had caused Derek really had no clue what to do. It was like dealing with a newly turned werewolf for crying out loud!

She was doing what those had been turned did, she was fighting it and it was causing her an intense amount of pain.

Lily knew of only one thing; pain. Pain, pain, pain and more pain. She wanted it to stop. Her skull felt like it was being torn open, her skin felt like someone threw her in boiling water mixed with acid and her teeth, God her teeth! Even her fingers were cramping and shooting a massive amount of pain through her arms. Cracking open an eyes Lily slowly turned her eyes down to her hands as she brought them down to her view before a whole new set of freaking out set in. Claws…she had fucking claws! Hands shaking in front of her Lily felt her breaths coming out much too quickly as she just stared…and stared…and stared some more before losing it, memories of that night all those years ago popping up and instead of seeing semi-cleaned hands, she stilled had some dirt on them, she saw blood covered hands. Her focus on her hands had the rest of her change happen much quicker and less painfully since she wasn't trying to fight it this time, too busy freaking out over the fact that she had claws to think of anything else.

But Derek saw it, saw the way her brown line thickened just a little bit. Saw how her eyes stayed glowing amber, how her teeth stayed long and deadly. Her ears pointed at the tips though did not stick out much, looking to him more elven then wolf. Her eyebrows lengthened a bit down the sides of her nose, really giving her that wolf appearance and then finally her claws all out and about. Without a word he turned her around and forced her to look up once again towards the mirror, her reaction was one of complete speechless and fear. His suspicions were confirmed with those emotions on her face as she took in the sight of her for the very first time. She never had been aware of what she was turning into.

How was he going to handle this? This complicated the matter all the more because now he had to teach her, train her and watch over her. An Alpha was out there and no way was he going to let him get a hold of her and add him to his pack. The Hunters were still out and about and he knew without a doubt that she would be killed instantly the moment she began to lose control in front of one of them. She knew nothing…nothing! He was going to have to teach her control, how to keep her shit together when around others. How to fight and survive. How to kill if need be. How to properly shift. Everything and anything she was going to learn from him because if he didn't take her in, she would fuck up and the Hunters would know of him being back in town. That and she might expose herself to humans which would in turn expose all of their kind to the world.

Bringing a shaking hand up to her face she tried to touch her face but stopped short as she asked in a broken voice, "What….what am I?"

Looking down at her Derek pulled back in his control and felt his face shift about as it went back to his normal human face, "I told you; you and I are werewolves."

Scrunching up her face Lily hiccupped at the sight of her reflection doing the same in its canine-like form as she shook her head as she cried out, "No…no we are monsters."

Yet another thing he was going to have to teach her…to embrace her true self.

Another thing to add to his growing mental list.

Well there ya go! She finally saw what she looked like for the first time changing without blacking out! Derek is in for a whole lot of explaining things to her next chapter hehe

Hope you enjoyed it!

Please leave a comment/review

KCatherine~