Disclaimer: The only parts of Artemis Fowl I own at the moment are his and Holly's ears and tails. When they grow whiskers, I'll own them too, but the bulk and attitude of Artemis and company are Eoin Colfer's.
Despite the fact I have now read The Lost Colony, It will not affect my story, and no characters introduced in that story will be involved in this one. In fact, this story is kinda messed up, as it's before the Opal Deception, but not only does Artemis have his memories, but Root still lives. Despite those things, Sool will be involved for a more close-to-home, not-so-evil bad guy. Meaning, he's bad, but not the driving evil force in the story. Thank you for listening to my ramble.
Chapter 5 Damn feline instincts
Despite his anger at the dwarf, Artemis had spent all afternoon staring at him discreetly and had just figured out why. Mulch had been going to use Artemis's medallion to help return his memories, and had then forgotten about it, so kept moving it from hand to hand, in his pocket and out again. Maybe it had something to do with fairy gold, but no matter what happened to the fine gold disk, it was extremely shiny and refracted light beautifully; therefore, Artemis was facinated by it. The fact he had worn it around his neck for a year didn't change it's status even a little, even adding to the allure by the fact it was his, he just wasn't holding it. Everything had been shinier than ususal that day, and Artemis was becoming worried that his love of gold had morphed into a love of shiny things as his brain changed. Considering the amount of rare objects he owned, it would seem strange for him to sit and stare at them for any long amount of time. Well, strange compared to normal things. Growing a flickering cat tail that now reached above his head when straight but tended to curl at eye level was a little worse than staring at the lustor on certain objects.
Though neither, in retrospect, were really any good.
"So, Mulch," Began Artemis in a carefully casual tone as night began to fall outside the manor windows. Butler had turned on the lights, though to his eyes, Artemis saw no difference between the gloom and the light. "What were you going to do once you found me? Though no doubt impressive, you alone are not enough for recall, at least I doubt it."
"Well." Thought the dwarf thoughtfully, flicking the coin in the air and catching it, holding it up to the light by it's thread, a movement which delighted Artemis, though he didn't show it. "I thought this thing might help. Not very glizty, but it's special, and the picture, at least the part Holly didn't blow a hole through, isn't human." He grimaced. "It might have done something, maybe. So, you want it back?" Artemis nodded absently.
"Yes, if you don't mind. It does feel special." His voice was carefully arranged to sound careless, his hand held out slowly and loosely, but when Mulch dropped the coin into his hand, Artemis couldn't help but snatch it out of the air, holding it up to the light. It glittered in the setting light, and the simple sight almost made him purr, but Artemis forced the sound back down his throat. It was becoming a regular occurance that anything that made him happy made him purr, but he wouldn't let it. At least no-one had heard him, he thought to himself.
"Dinner." Called Butler, and since they had all been sitting in the dining room anyway, took the seats they had been sitting in and tucked them into the table, Artemis between Mulch and Grub, much to the amusment of Holly, tail flicking with laughter, while she sat beside Trouble, Foaly given his own higher table, with apologies. It was beautiful meal, though Mulch was given a bucket of beatles and and rich dirt in the garden, so sat a distance away down the long table, the others clustered together. Artemis was glad of this, not because he disliked Mulch in any way, but because being trapped next to Grub Kelp would have been a horrifying experience.
"So," Said Foaly half way through a mostly silent meal. "I've been thinking about it, looked up some stuff on cats, and think you most need a physical." Artemis dropped his fork. Holly choked on a mouthful before staring at Foaly.
"You've got to be kidding." She sounded as if Foaly admitting insanity would have been preferable.
"I kid about a lot of things, but this isn't one of them." He said seriously. "We need to figure out what's happening."
"Then how about a blood sample?" Asked Artemis logically. "Wouldn't that help more than seeing if the ears and tails are actually attached? I promise you, they are."
"I'll need a blood sample from both of you." Replied Foaly. "I've been looking up information on cat physiology, so I want to see if you react like, um, normal cats, not a more fairy, or human, mindframe."
"What?" Asked Holly, frowning.
"He's going to poke you, then if you swear at him you're still Holly, and if you meow you're cat-girl." Elaborated Trouble. Artemis rolled his eyes at the three fairies.
"My, aren't we feeling eloquent today." He drawled, his tail curling backwards over the back of the chair. His eyes weren't following them, though. He had been watching a single fly zoom around the room, and it was driving him insane. The others hadn't noticed it, though.
"What's up with you?" Asked Trouble. The fly was getting closer, closer... "I mean, we're trying to make the best of-" Thwack. Artemis had lifted his hand as the fly was nearing, not hearing a word Trouble said, when it had neared, and instinct made him bring the hand down to the table as they fly flew beneath it. They stared at him as Artemis sighed in relief.
"I'm sorry, that fly has been distracting me all evening." He said simply, then stood. "I need to go wash my hands now." And left.
"Ewww!" Moaned Grub, staring the stain on the table. "That's really gross!"
"Quick, though." Said Foaly. "Not-quite-human quick." They glanced at each other, Trouble finally speaking.
"Wait, why didn't Holly notice?" Holly grinned, her tufted orange ears flicking.
"Oh, I noticed, it just didn't bother me."
"And can you two even eat this? Shouldn't cats eat fish?"
"That's just stupid, cats can eat anything people eat, and it's healthy. I guess fish is just preferable."
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It was later evening, and Artemis was sitting as far away from Foaly as humanly possible while spinning his gold coin. No-one had noticed his on going fascination with the shiny O, but he snatched it out of the air and into his pocket when someone looked at him. Holly, meanwhile, was fidgeting on a long leather sofa. This was one of the few televison rooms, and had the sofa and more leather arm chairs around a plasma screen television that Artemis watched on very rare occasions, or when forced into watching a movie with his parents. The only thing that made it bearable was being with his parents, and the occasional amusing stuff-up in the film plot.
Mulch had put on Lord Of The Rings, and Artemis was cursing both Peter Jackson and the landmass of NewZealand as Legolas haughtily swished his blonde pony tail. Foaly was playing with his computer, and the webcam was on so he could record his 'findings'. That was the most basic reason Artemis sat so far from the centaur, and Holly fidgited, glaring at Artemis for his cowardice.
"What happened to gentlemanly courage?" She snapped at him. He merely looked at her with the flat look only cats can achieve.
"I am being a gentleman." He replied, gesturing at her. "Ladies first." Mulch snickered. Holly would have lunged at him if Foaly hadn't called her name, forcing her to turn and face the scientist, tail flailing violently.
"Now." He said slowly, all heads swiveling to face him as orc growls and the clashing of swords was heard in the background. "Holly, are you sure you don't mind?" She shook her head, mumbling something about 'scientific merit'. Her tail's rapid motions and her ears, lying flat against her head, showed the lie if anyone but Artemis had any knowlegde of cats. "Now tell me if it hurts." He said as, pulling her head towards him, he moved her hair to see if the ears weren't one big practical joke cooked up by her and Artemis. From the look of things, it wasn't. Moving thumb and forefinger along the connection of ear and scalp, he moved across a spot, which made Holly fall back against the back of the sofa, purring. Foaly pulled his hand back, and she stopped, staring at him in shock.
"What did you/I do?" They asked together. (Foaly said 'I') The others, besides Frodo, were speechless. Foaly, after biting his lip, moved his hand back to the spot, trying to figure out what had done that to Holly. At the same time he came in contact with her scalp, she began purring again, almost colapsing. She was helpless, it seemed, whenever someone did that. After four tests Holly began getting testy so Foaly stopped, his conclusion being that: "Being scratched behind the ears is kinda like physical morphine." They stared at him, and he nodded. "Yep, strange, but I think a few cat-like things are worse for our halfling friends than normal cats-"
"Did you just call me a halfling?" Interupped Artemis, who looked insulted, his own ears lying flat against his head.
"It's that damn Lord of the Rings. Anyway, Holly, did that hurt, or did you just pass out, or... what?"
"Well, it was... nice, I guess." Said Holly slowly. "Like a massage, just extreme." Foaly nodded, then grinned. "What are you so happy about?" Grumbled Holly. It was depressing knowing that such a small thing left her utterly helpless.
"I wonder if it works the same for Artemis." Wondered Foaly, still grinning. The others smiled nastily as all the colour drained from the boy's face.
"I'm sure it does." He said quickly. "There's no need to test me, why should there be a difference?" Before anyone got a chance to point out the obvious and call Artemis a wuss, Holly stood, walked over to him, grabbed his wavering tail and dragged him onto the other sofa, the boy biting his lip to keep from meowing in pain.
"If I put up with it you have to." She said darkly, the hurt look on Artemis's face did nothing to change her opinion.
"Alright." He growled at her, their faces very close together as the glared. Up close he noticed her, and therefore his, face was covered with a thin colourless layer of peach fuzz, which wasn't promising. He took a proper seat beside Foaly, tipping his head at an angle. If something had to be done, it might as well be done right.
"Good kitty." Cooed Foaly, grabbing Artemis's head before the boy could snarl at him. Artemis contented himself with hissing quietly but sat still for the proding. In moments, the exact same thing happened. His eyes widened and the strangest feeling of lethargy came over him, making him fall against the sofa back, purring uncontrolably. He sat up, shaking his head, when the lethargy disappeared. Foaly was grinning.
"Looks like it works with you too, mudboy."
"Of course it does." Snapped Artemis, making Foaly mock frown. He ruffled Artemis's not-so-neat-anymore hair, making Artemis feel a shot of lazy bliss slide through his brain and making him bite his lip to keep from purring humiliatingly.
"Now, be good." Cooed Foaly in a babyish voice. "And it's late, so off to bed." Artemis stared at him. The mocknig tone disappeared from the centaur's voice. "Seriously everyone, we need to being figuring out what we're doing. This cat thing won't go away on it's own, and being half awake won't help anyone." Grudgingly they all agreed, though Artemis, and he knew Holly did too, felt completely awake, and had the insane urge to spend the rest of the evening strolling through the garden.
But with the feline ability to sleep about sixteen hours a day, he easily managed a yawn and bidding the others a goodnight, went to his room. Foaly, despite what he said, waited till the rest of the group had gone to their rooms, and pulled back Butler, giving him a list of things to buy at a hardwear store, and to get a computer specifically for the centaur to pull apart. Confused, the manservant agreed to get the centaur's request. Don't pay attention to the smart ones. Just hold onto key words and make sure you don't see Bond tied to a pole when you walk into the basement.
At about midnight Artemis woke, and couldn't go back to sleep. This was the beginning of semi-nocturnal behaviour, he guessed, but waking up in the morning would be hell. Still, he got up, not bothering with a shirt, which was strange, as the weather was getting colder. He flicked his whiskers, sensing the air, giving a start when he realised he had whiskers, and with finger tips was able to feel that they were already long and flickery. Shaking his head he opened a window, and taking a deep breath of cool air decided on a walk. He pulled on a over jacket and tiptoed to the kitchen, where one of the garden doors was situated, not wanting to wake anyone. Though he wasn't overly surprised when he saw Holly in the kitchen, sitting and staring wistfully into the moon light, licking the milk off her lips. He raised an eyebrow none the less.
"Why aren't you outside?" He asked when she nodded that she'd seen him in the darkness.
"This place is locked tight." She drawled, nodding at a key pad beneath the pane of glass on the door. "I have no idea whether an alarm will go off if I touch the door knob." He smiled, acknowledging the obvious truth, and keyed in zero one zero nine for his birthday, the most common code in the house. Holding open the door, he stood back and let Holly pass, making her chuckle when he rejoined her side. She poked him playfully in the chest as they began an absent walk around the garden. "Now you act like a gentleman. Well it's too late, I'm not falling for it." He smiled in return, tail swishing happily.
"I always act like a gentleman, and it's never too late. As for falling for it, there's still time..." Holly mock gasped, lunging at him. Reflex made him dart away, then spin around to go after her when a safe distance away, meaning they spent fifteen minutes chasing each other around the garden in almost silence. Laughing quietly, Artemis slumped against one of the many trees in that part of the garden, Holly giggling beside him.
"Have you ever willingly run before? Just for the fun of it, I mean." She asked curiously when they both had their breath back. He looked at her thoughtfully.
"Not in at least six years." He said softly, surprised.(let's say he's fourteen) Mainly because chasing Holly was incredibally fun, and he couldn't quite figure out why he didn't run more often. Climbing things was fun too. And pouncing. Ah. It seemed that... yes, he was becoming more cat-like. He looked at Holly, who had just blinked. "You just realised you're acting catty, if you'll excuse the term. I feel that we've over used most other descriptions." She nodded, grimacing. He shrugged. "Well, it's late. Race you to the kitchen?" He added the end hopefully, dispite knowing that normal Artemis would never say something like that, and probably wouldn't have had the stamina, either. A fact Holly pointed out, but only after almost losing the race to Artemis.
The birthdate is from TheLostColony. Do you think 01/09 is the First of September, or January the Ninth? Please be Jan-9, cos that's MY birthday!
Artemis and Holly will have a few moments like that, and I hope it doesn't end up fluffy. I'll explain more in later chapters, but due to their feline...ness, they will definately act like, well, cats obviously. Mature or kitten, it'll change, but Holly, at least, will be sticking to the breed I thought she would suit while looking up cats.