Author's Note: Okay, this chapter is back to Susan's POV and takes place three months after the last chapter, so approximately six months have passed since the rest of the Pevensies passed away.

Disclaimers: Anything that is recognized is not mine. This is written from a complete love of the stories in the Chronicles of Narnia and no profit is being made and copyright infringement is not intended.

Spoilers: None as this takes place after any of the books and is just my interpretation of Susan as an adult. However, it is helpful to know what is in the stories or it may be a little confusing, particularly the Last Battle.

Susan POV

I sat up in the bed, gasping for breath and tears streaming down my face. The dream had been so clear and vivid that I would have sworn that it was actually happening. However, as I laid back down in my bed, in my dark bedroom inside my small, lonely flat, I knew that it wasn't because I was not in Narnia but rather in England. I had thought that I was gaining the upper hand on the dreams and the emotions that stemmed from them but I was still waking up nearly every night with tears running down my face. Some nights they were tears of sadness over what I had lost or tears of guilt over the things I had done before my siblings had died but every night was the same story. It had been six months since I had lost my family and it had been three since I had stumbled my way into the little stone church near the cemetery. In that three months, I had thought I was beginning to learn how to forgive myself for the things I had done and said to my friends and family about Narnia but I found that every so often I would slip back into one of the dreams of the way I had treated Lucy when she tried to bring up our adventures in Narnia or the way that I would slam my bedroom door in Edmund or Peter's face. The worst dream had been the one where I told Peter that Narnia wasn't real but rather a game we played as children. I could still remember clearly the looks on each of their faces when I had said that. Lucy had burst into tears, Peter looked as if he wanted to kill me, and Ed, well, Ed just looked disappointed and that was the worst feeling I had ever thought I could experience. However, the more I had denied Narnia, the easier it got to do just that. I laid back down and closed my eyes, praying that Aslan, or God as he was known here in England, would allow me a night of dreamless sleep.

"Susan, come on. You are making us wait for you again," Lucy called with a giggle.

"Lu, where are we going?" I asked, coming down the corridor of Cair Paravel.

She smiled and grabbed my hand as she lead me outside the castle and into the garden.

"Peter thought we should take a picnic down to the beach and all of us enjoy some time together," Edmund said with a smile, coming up beside Lucy and I as we walked through the private garden of Cair Paravel.

I woke up with a start, the sound of rain hitting the roof filtering into my brain as I once again brushed the tears off my cheeks. I sighed as I got up out of bed and began to get ready for my day. I had just finished getting showered and dressed when I heard a knock on the front door of my flat. I hurried out of the room and opened the door to see Hannah standing in the doorway with a smile on her face as she shook the water off of her umbrella before folding it back up and in on itself.

"Morning. Lovely day isn't it?" she asked in a teasing, sarcastic tone.

"I suppose, if you like this sort of weather," I said with a smile as I stepped aside to let her into my flat and then closed the door, "Would you like some tea?"

"That would be lovely. That rain and wind soaks through to the bone even with a coat and umbrella," she said with a smile.

I left her in the living room with instructions to make herself comfortable while I went into the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove to start making tea.

"So, how was your evening last night?" Hannah asked when I came back into the room and sat down next to her.

"It was pretty quiet and uneventful. I dreamt of my family again," I said.

"Susan, do you think….well, do you think that this sort of thing is normal? I mean, it's been six months since they passed away. Do you think you are holding too tightly to the memories you have left of them so that you don't forget and it's causing this to happen?" she asked.

"The dreams aren't bad though. Quite the opposite in fact. They are so wonderful and perfect that I wake up crying from the pain of missing my siblings so much because we aren't together," I said.

"You will be again though. Someday," she said, giving my hand an encouraging squeeze.

I smiled sadly and nodded as I got up off the couch and went back into the kitchen to finish making the tea. I didn't want to think about those things today but would rather just have been left alone to go and visit my family at the cemetery and then cry alone in my flat in mourning. While I had managed to find Aslan in my world, I still felt lost as to what His purpose for me was.

"Hannah, what do you think is your purpose in life?" I asked, coming back into the living room with a tray carrying both of the tea cups, the tea pot and a small dish of finger snacks.

I set the tray down on the coffee table and sat down again, pouring each of us a cup of tea and passing her one of the cups before offering her one of the snacks. She took the cup and one of the cookies off the tray before sitting back and looking me over.

"No one knows specifically what they are supposed to do with their life Susan. I have an idea of what I would like to do with it but it all depends what God wants me to do with myself. I am waiting on His timing before I do anything. I simply keep my eyes open and look for the signs. That's all any of us can really do," she said.

I sighed and took a sip of my tea as she continued to watch me.

"Is that what the dreams are about?" she asked, suddenly catching on.

"I lost my way once and I don't want it to happen again. I want to be certain that there is a reason for the things I am doing. I want to make my family proud and honor their memories at the same time but sometimes I feel like I should be doing so much more than I am," I said softly.

"Susan, you have made so much progress in just the last month or so. When I met you three months ago, you were a mess. I look at where you are now and I know that you are destined for great things but at the same time, I see a young woman who is afraid to do anything with that potential because she is so terrified of doing something wrong or making a mistake. Mistakes are how we grow and learn Susan so make them, lots of them," she said with a smile.

I couldn't help the tears that gathered in my eyes as she spoke because what she said sounded so like something Edmund would have said in this situation and I realized that it was time to let go of a tiny piece of the past and move on and try and be happy, for the sake of my brothers and sister.

"What were your siblings like?" Hannah asked suddenly.

I smiled as I closed my eyes and pictured each of my siblings in my mind and felt my heart swell in love as I began to replay memories I had of them in my head. Hannah sat there and watched me with a smile, which I noticed when I opened my eyes and blushed.

"They were amazing. My elder brother Peter was everything I could ask for in an older brother. He was stubborn and strong and brave and protective of myself and Lucy to a fault. I loved him like crazy and we were inseparable when we were very young. He used to chase away the bad dreams or the imaginary monsters in my bed when we were younger and he would get into fights with anyone who dared to try and hurt our family or spoke ill of any one of us. Edmund was fiercely protective of myself and Lucy as well. He used to help Peter fight anyone who tried to hurt us and he was the protector and mediator of the family. He worked so hard to keep peace between us and of the three of them, he was my closest confidante. Lucy was the baby of the family so she was slightly spoiled by all of us. We adored her and she was always so happy and positive. She was my best friend once she got to be old enough and she always was the one with the most faith that life had something special to offer each of us. She treated each of us as if she really valued our input, even when Peter was playing protector and I was being my logical, bossy self," I said with a smile.

"They sound wonderful and I think I am slightly jealous that you had such a wonderful, loving set of siblings," Hannah said softly.

"We were a formidable group when the four of us were together. We had a bond that was unbreakable for years and we looked after one another and protected each other," I said.

"You will see them again, I don't doubt that for a second," she said.

I smiled sadly and wiped a stray tear off my cheek as I continued to think about them all and felt the ache of how much I missed them and how much I had lost.

Okay, there it is, the first chapter in the story where Susan really starts to move forward with her life. This chapter was surprisingly difficult to write because I didn't know about the dynamic between Susan and her new friend. It is always hard to try and introduce a new character into the story so I hope it didn't come out too OOC. Please review and tell me what you think as I appreciate each and every review I get and they help me to become a better writer. :)