The gang went back into the hotel and were all quiet. Maury and Jerry taked gay man and laid his down on couch cause he still passed out. Montel went to he room and say no word to nobody and went to sleep. maruy and jer bear went to talking about what just happen. "i never seed someone so poerful... montel reall is strong.." say maury "ye , ye who do? david letterman esplain about some one that is at least 1000 times more powerfulnes than all of us? how can this be true? shirley he must be jk... i see montel power... no 1 can be stronger than he?" snip springer. "well i dont know... he did pretty much give up easy and he said he served he purpose? how? Was he just a msn messenegrr? Oprah have men forfeit life for such an IM? We are in dave danger." say maruty. "i guess we wll see when it come hoepfule we be ready..." say spinger as they all retire to they bedroom.
The next morning they wake up and go to kitched and see Montel sitting at table eating some alphabet ceral (lol no nerds no msg is gonna appear in it he jsut like alphabet ceral) xDD. The others sit down across the table from he and try to beginning engaging conversationing with him (enlish teacher tolled me that i have to keep gerund for all verb if use in same sentance. [I learning] ) he just ignore them and continue eating his ceral. "he must be piszed" whisper jerry to maurty. "so montel we're pretty close to cali now... you should just focus on killing oprah right now." Say maruty... Montel no responder. They espect this so they pick up the complimentary newspaper and start reading. "yo maury give me the funny papers" say jerry and maury complies. As the shuffling of the paper happens montel stand cap falc use eagle eye vision to catch montel attntion to something on the paper... it jsut so happen to be the date... it read July 3rd, 2011. All of the sudder, montel push his bowl away and got up out of his chair and turned around and cross he arms and face the wall looking down all very pensively. "What the matter montel?" ask Jerry, even gay man andy barely gain consciousness and peek from the couch across the room and see what all the hubbub is about. Montel slowly turn around after a moment and look up very slowly and face the jews... "We must...support troop..." Everyone was puzzled by this and before they had a chance to respond Montel was already out the door walking. They ran after him and asking where go? By the time montel was ready to respond he was already car jacking another car and told them from the window "Airport" he reply.
The others intrigued jumped in the car and montel droving to airport while rolling up his last blunt and smoking it and driving at like 95 mph. The other no knew what got into he and their questioning were to no availing. Montel speeding and smokign weed but was not unnotice by coppers and then all of sudder there were highspeed chase down the interstate headed to airport but montel use he mind and stopped and let police pull him over. Montel still have joint in he mouth and the copper come over and smelled that. "ok sir im gonna have to ask u to step out of the car please." Montel pulled out his 9 and shot the cop in the head goodfight and he kept drivinte until he reach airport. He went to the teller and ask "4 tickets to Afganistan pls" using he last money left over in he pocket after battle with DL ..."AFGANISTAN!" the other 3 shout in unison... Montel decided that he should probably let the nerds in on what is going on "As I told you earlier, We must support troop. You see its about to be July 4th over there and we must support troop by going over there. I MUST. There is no stopping it. I'm sorry friends." not only were they dumbfind by this revaltion they were dumbfind by montel coherent explanaiton... something he almost never is, a a testiclement to montel's higher calling. "So are you guys coming or what?" ask montel as he about to get secruity check but probably anal cause he black. "but but but... we are so close to california... if we go to afganistan.. we will be screwing up all the traveling we done until now!" whine maury Montel look fiercely at maury " WE...MUST...SUPPORT... TROOP" with almost a bloodlust in he eye and voice maury almost pee himself. spinger and andy think to themselves for a bit and start to like the idea of the trip. Springer and andy went to make a few phone called. The two had two very different things in he mind with gleam in they eyes. They all finally agree and board the plane and set out. While plane was taxi off runway maury ask springer about all that bs about not endagering people in flight or something idk and he say "Well if they do want to attack us it will save us the time of going to california or something and ill use my stand to protect civilinas or soemthig IDK! OKAY?" so they all sleep and take their 1 day flight to towel hed land switching planes along the way without incidental.
They finally arrive and already feel the sand creep up their butts and scratch it off except maybe andy he thought it was rather pleasant. They made way to the largest US Rmee camp and saw that the WWE was already set up there giving a show for troop and montel and friend shook hand with vince pacman or whoever owns the damn fake show lol. So they wait until wrestling over and montel give inspiring speech as if it were program in he brain. he then went on to sing God Bless The USA better than Lee Greenwood himself (http:/ www. /watch?v=Q65KZIqay4E) (p.s. just ignore the lyrics doger)
"If tomorrow all the things were gone
I'd worked for all my life,
And I had to start again
with just my children and my wife,
I'd thank my lucky stars
to be living here today,
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom
and they can't take that away.
And I'm proud to be an American
where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the men who died
who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you
and defend her still today,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A.
From the lakes of Minnesota
to the hills of Tennessee,
Across the plains of Texas
from sea to shining sea.
From Detroit down to Houston
and New York to L.A.,
well There's pride in every American heart
and it's time we stand and say:
that I'm proud to be an American
where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the men who died
who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you
and defend her still today,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A.
And I'm proud to be an American
where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the men who died
who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you
and defend her still today,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A."
Montel sanged all this with tear welling up in he eye AMERICA F YEAH ! After all this american pride welling up in he heart he gain +100 to all he stats so no nerd can f with him if they wanted to. everyone inspired now and then springer thought in his head... "my turn" and everything went dark and all u heard was "Jerry! jerry! jerry jerry Jerry jerry jerry jerryJerry jerry jerry jerry! etc etc"! and then all of the sudden it turned out to be an episode of Jerry springer! Montel got confused and then jerry was like "how u think we gonna make some money back yo? besides the troops love this stuff they all from Georgia and Alabamer." Montel gave his consent because it counted as support troop.
This epsiode that jerry hosted was titled stripper hooker incest madness! And jerry had 5 stirppers on poles around the troop in slutty fatigue outfits and the first guests were 2 hookers that were sisters and they fighting over a man... the man in question being their brother. So the first hooker tells her story how she in love with him and stuff. "So how do you think this will make your sister feel knowing that you are in love with her boyfriend your brother?" ask jerry and the hooker respond int he most redneck of accents "weal i dun kner jarrey... i am afread to tell her, i dont want her to know but..." then springer intterupt "WELL she knows now shes been listening back stage!" and then her sister rushes out and then a boxing bell rings and they start going at it and start fighting ripping out each others hair. guest miliary police security guards eventual break it up. "you such a slut u know that?" say hooker 1 to hooker 2 "ur the slut you only charge half price bitch" springer calms them down and says "well lets let t he boyfriend you brother decide... here he is" The boyfriend comes out and starts to make out with hooker 1 and then hooker 2 tries to break them up and beat up on hooker 1. This goes on until jerry decides its ocmmercial time and then gets new guests. pretty mucht he same stuff go on with other guests beingmother and daughter father son idk wtf. finally it were time to end the show with.. you guess it... Final thought. Jerry sit on he stool and everything go dim adn everyone body look and even andy stop sucking gay soldiers off and look. everyone was still and unmoving "First i would like thank u all for be on show and good luck to u. You know the part of intenseness of being in love is vulnerablitiy and knowing ur never in control and u giving all of yourrself and it can be taken at anytime in terms of its felling. It life on the edge. Its the same with our guest here tonight they open they heart and what happen? they get brunt. why would their lover lie to them or cheat? now there is not only pain and dissap. but also anger and it is small consolatian prize to know that everyone goes through this in life. Indeed the only way to protect yourself from having that happen to u is no fell in love in first place. the problem is that is empty life... till next time" everything undim when jerry stop talking and it seemed like.. for a second that noone could move or noone was breathing and a fly couldnt even fart. when jeery stopped talking everyone was amazed at he words and all clap and jerry gtfo and collected his 5 grand for the show fk yeah. after all the festivities and fireworks of 4th of July, the group reconvened. Montel patted jerry on back for job well done and the trio asked montel what do? "well we must resume our journey ot face the evilt hat are oprah and make sure she no maked alived. What say we screw all this galvanting (w/e the F that means) around and lets fly straight to CALI! Lets take oprah head on." Montel said sitll feeling empowered by american pride and aprently its rashness too. The gang agree and get ready to head to airport except andy. "uh guys i think ill stay here a bit and take care of a few... things" say andy. They all shrugged as if they gave a rats ass and headed to the airport. They took some money from jerrys stripper fund and bought 3 tickets straight to LA. They were going to face oprah... no more bullshitting around in other states and making excuses nothing could stop them now... or could it? Find out next time on MONTEL'S BIZaRRE ADVENTURE!