Chapter summary: Aftermath of the Aerith tornado. Cloud takes an unexpected beating from Tifa's questions, but everything comes right in the end. Then he's attacked by Denzel, crushed on by Marlene, threatened by Barret. It's been quite the morning for old Chocobo-head, eh?

Chapter 6: Understanding

As Aerith fled the kitchen of the Seventh Heaven bar, laughing like a loon after her parting shot, Tifa had no choice but to slump into a convenient chair and do some loony laughing of her own. She wasn't sure which God or Goddess deserved such thanks for gifting her with their friendship, but the gratitude Tifa felt at that moment knew no bounds.

Despite everything, there was nothing that could brighten her world quite like Aerith.

Still chuckling, still clutching sides that ached from the heart-felt laughter, Tifa watched as the kitchen door opened cautiously. A head wreathed in haphazard blonde spikes peeked around the door frame like a chocobo checking to see if the coast was clear. The image so tickled, Tifa started laughing again despite the aggravating stitch in her ribs.

Chocobo-head had apparently been Cloud's code-name during the war, and was entirely too apt.

That wild head of hair did indeed look like the backside of a Chocobo.

"She's gone, so it's safe," Tifa assured him. She was still smiling as Cloud walked in to snag a chair. Straddling it, he rested his head on his arms and gazed at her, his brilliant blue eyes concerned. Undone, Tifa reached over to brush a strand of pale blonde hair out of his face. "Poor Cloud. How in the world have you managed to avoid her all these months you've been in Edge?"

"Careful planning and a mapped-out schedule," he answered without hesitation. "Zack and I worked it out the afternoon I arrived. I knew meeting me again would be... hard for her. I was so insensitive toward her feelings, Tifa. But I just couldn't believe anyone could actually be in love with me. I didn't even know what I was in those days."

Tifa smiled at him, "She said you didn't give yourself enough credit, and she was right." Then she leveled a finger at him and poked right between his eyebrows, "But you still have a lot of explaining to do, mister."

Jerking back from the unexpected attack, Cloud rubbed the afflicted spot with a grumble. "I couldn't talk about her involvement without speaking to her first, Tifa. I know she's been your friend even before she came to Wutai. Zack... isn't the most discreet person on this planet. He would sit in the mess hall, reading her letters out loud to everyone. It got to the point we looked forward to hearing about her day, her thoughts. It was almost as if she hadn't left at all. And it seemed there was always something of you mentioned, so when I walked into Seventh Heaven with Sephiroth that day, it was hard to believe I was meeting you for the first time." His grin turned boyish as he admitted, "I'm really glad you didn't hear Seph later that evening when we returned to the barracks. You knocked my socks off, Tifa, just totally destroyed every thought in my head. He gave me hell over it for weeks."

"And then I kissed you over a poker game," she teased, eyes twinkling.

Reaching out, he playfully tapped her between the eyebrows in retaliation, "Sealed your fate, you mean. One taste of you and I was hopelessly addicted. At first I was willing to cut Sephiroth a break during the poker game, but that kiss changed everything. If you wanted him taken down, then down he was going. I was out for blood at that point." Grinning wickedly, Cloud told her, "Zack and Kunsel saw the way my mood swung from amusement to deadly intent. They were scared to the soles of their boots, but they stayed in the game so they wouldn't be branded yellow-bellied cowards."

Nothing she had seen of Cloud indicated any type of temper, so she joked, "As if there was a reason to be afraid."

Tifa had once seen Sephiroth's frost green eyes go hard as steel. The sight had been terrifying in a way she couldn't explain, like she had glimpsed what wasn't entirely human in him in that instant. To her shock, Cloud did the same. It changed him; turned him hard and cold and completely untouchable. The almost angelic beauty of his face sharpened, becoming an idol to be worshiped from afar. Power radiated from him, and knowledge - which was yet another form of power. He was so attractive, so appealing, but so controlled.

This was not the Cloud Strife she knew, and it shook her to the core to see the transformation. Aerith had said he was different with her, more open, even gentle. Was this how he normally acted around people? Was this what others saw when they looked at him?

He blinked and the coldness was gone. He was just Cloud again. The difference was so shocking Tifa couldn't speak.

The too-blue eyes were sad as he said quietly, "There are so many sides to me, Tifa, so many different Clouds. No matter my efforts, I can't seem to mesh them all together to make a complete whole." Looking away, he continued to speak, his voice curiously hollow. "Aerith was the first to tell me she loved me, but she certainly wasn't the last. Others said those words, implied those feelings. I couldn't bring myself to believe any of them but I acted the part, and even enjoyed it sometimes. But I always knew something was missing." Taking a deep breath, Cloud looked back at her. "I finally talked to Zack about it. I believed him a poor choice, with all his teasing and flirting, the way he never seemed to take anything seriously. But he sat me down and told me I could keep having fun all I wanted, but until I was in love it would never feel right or mean a damn thing to me."

Rising, Cloud stepped around the chair then knelt in front of her. Framing her face with his hands, he said, "He was right. I'm so in love with you, Tifa. One look from you and I'm floundering, tongue so tied up in knots I can barely swallow. It got so bad in Seventh Heaven I just stopped trying to talk, since every time I attempted to nothing would come out."

Cloud caught the tear that coursed down her cheek on his finger and smoothed it across her lips. "Aerith will always be important to me. She fought for me, Tifa. She actually battled the Jenova cells within my body. Somehow she forced them back, wrestled them into submission, so what I was could emerge. And she fought so fiercely she left parts of her life force inside me."

"She said she could sense you," Tifa managed to choke out.

"Yes, she can, because I carry her within me. Zack knows, and after a lot of soul searching he's come to terms with it. I'm praying you can, too. Neither of us asked for this situation, Tifa. But you need to know it's gratitude I feel for her, not love. You are the woman I love."

When he would have leaned forward to kiss her, Tifa slapped a hand on his chest to stop him. Shock crossed his face, for it was the first time she had rejected one of his advances. "How, Cloud. How did Aerith do these things?"

Trembling slightly beneath her restraining hand, Cloud answered as best he could. "Aerith is an Ancient, Tifa. She is intimately connected to this planet in a way I can't easily explain. It's how she heals; she literally draws strength from nature and feeds it back into the wounded. She can sense materia the same way, because it's part of the Lifestream that flows beneath the surface. And she could fight the Jenova cells because they are alien, like a cancer in my body. They can't be removed - to do so would kill me. Sephiroth as well, although he isn't as infected with them as I am. But they can be dominated, and Aerith taught me how."

He continued to kneel, waiting for Tifa to speak.

When she did it was with brutal honesty, "You scare me, Strife."

Those four words were like a knife in his heart. Staggered, he fell back to sit on the tiles, trying desperately to absorb the hurt before it overwhelmed him completely. Head bowed, breathing ragged, it was all he could do not to howl in pain. Of the agony endured in his life, this hollowed him out, leaving nothing but a bleeding shell. Leaning his head back against a table leg he let the tears come, crystal drops sliding down his cheeks.

It felt as though his very life essence was seeping out through those tears.

Tifa could literally see his will power falter as though he had taken a mortal wound. Leaping from her chair, she dived for him, wrapping herself around him nearly as tightly as Denzel had after her nightmare. "Cloud," she whispered, taking a handful of blonde spikes to yank his head down.

The kiss was hard, desperate.

Cloud would later tell her not even a dead man could hold out against its power.

Slowly it changed, becoming tender, becoming sweet - a caress, invoking sighs and gentle touches. Tifa was so intent on soothing the hurt her words had unintentionally caused they nearly crossed a line neither was willing to tempt at this time. Before she quite knew what was happening, she had peeled off that beloved white t-shirt to press kisses across his shoulders and collarbone.

It was when her questing fingers ran across the ridge of a scar on his lower back that brought her up short. Cloud had his hands underneath her tank top, stroking up and down her back, lips exploring the sensitive skin of her nape in a way that nearly made her eyes cross. When she tried to tell him they were going a little too far, he closed his mouth over hers with such exquisite skill Tifa swore she felt brain cells leaking out of her ears.

"My God, Strife! Just how much 'fun' did you have before that talk with Zack?!" The query exploded out of her in disbelief. This was the shy Cloud Strife who had been so embarrassed by her kiss the tips of his ears had turned pink?!

A grin was teasing the edges of his lips as he told her in a dreamy voice, "Jenova cells, Tifa. I'm sure Aerith told you I have the ability to copy knowledge when I'm touched. It doesn't happen now unless I want it to, but I didn't have that type of control for the first couple of years."

"Groped a lot, were you?" Tifa asked tartly, trying to come fully to her senses but having problems because he kept touching her, these feather-light little pats and strokes that made her breath hitch sharply.

"Apparently I have a really cute butt," was the flippant reply.

He was now drawing lacy patterns on the skin of her lower back, causing the most delicious shivers to course up and down her spine. It was when his tongue slid over the pulse pounding in her neck and the world did a nice, slow spin that she determinedly put on the breaks.

Fighting the urge within her to just surrender, Tifa wiggled free. She even managed to open her mouth to tell him to stop.

The words never came.

It wasn't the sight of Cloud's impressive torso made her throat close up. No, it was the scars - fine white lines that trailed over his skin like spider silk. Cloud's eyes were sad as he stroked her cheek. "Half the scars on me are from frustration, Tifa. Zack and Kunsel said if a test didn't go properly, Hojo would get a scalpel and just run it over my body, cutting into me, leaving these thin red lines marring my skin. With the mako in my system they would heal in a matter of minutes, but the marks remained."

Some other time she would ask him about them.

But she had to address the misunderstanding that had carved deep into his heart and soul. Shaking herself to keep on track, Tifa clarified her earlier remark. "When I said you scare me, Cloud, I was talking about how strong you are, how determined, how brave. You've taken a broken, shattered life and forged it into a foundation capable of standing the test of time. No matter what was done to you by Hojo, you've made yourself into what you wanted."

A faint blush riding high on his cheekbones, Cloud turned his head slightly and avoided her eyes. The pose was so humble, and so completely at odds with the skill demonstrated just a few scant minutes before that Tifa could only stare at him in astonishment. The many sides of Cloud Strife, she thought irreverently, fighting the urge to hold him.

She knew what would happen if she risked his embrace before her pulse leveled off again. Jenova cells, indeed!

Then a little whirlwind attacked her kitchen as Denzel flew through the back door, spied Cloud, and pounced with all the enthusiasm of a stalking kitten - complete with the beforehand butt wiggle. How Cloud managed to catch the boy on the fly was a mystery to Tifa, but a moment later the room reverberated with childish shrieks as the two of them wrestled their way through a tickle war.

The most amazing aspect of the event was the fact not all the shouting was coming from Denzel - Cloud Strife, the silent, taciturn type that preferred gestures to words, apparently had one heck of a set of lungs when properly stimulated.

It's something to think about, Tifa mused rather wickedly.

The next thirty minutes weren't nearly as pleasant.

With the arrival of Barret and the kids, an explanation was expected as to why there was a half-naked man standing in her kitchen. Barret wasn't mollified in the least by who Cloud was. The former General of Wutai could have been God incarnate and still not passed muster.

In Barret's eyes no one could even approach being worthy of Tifa and he aired this view at the top of his lungs while waving his gun arm in the air in a menacing manner.

Marlene and Denzel, too used to such displays to think much of them, were safety situated out of harm's way. Denzel was waiting patiently for Barret to wind down so the tickle war could continue. No adult had ever joined in the fun quite the way the General had, rolling and shrieking and delighting in the mayhem. They had knocked over a stool and two kitchen chairs in the mêlée before Barret charged in to put a stop to it.

But sweet little Marlene was too busy sighing over Cloud in what Tifa realized was her baby girl's first crush. Worshipful brown eyes followed every move the blonde made as he retrieved his shirt from the floor and pulled it back on. With amusement, Tifa realized she and Marlene were both disappointed that Cloud was no longer a 'half-naked savage', as per Barret. Catching the girl's eye, Tifa wrinkled her nose then winked, making Marlene laugh.

Yep, her daughter had it nearly as bad for the blonde SOLDIER as she herself did.

As for Cloud, he leaned against the kitchen counter to hear Barret out. He stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, head tilted to the side as he watched this shouting stranger pace back and forth. No doubt he was wondering who in the world this bear of a man was. Barret was built like a Mack truck, with shoulders so wide he had to enter a doorway sideways, a massively muscled chest, thickly corded tattooed arms, and tree trunks for legs.

But he tolerantly listened to the tirade with amusement carefully hidden in the glowing blue mako-tainted eyes.

Then Barret made the mistake of pointing his gun arm at Cloud - which was a monumentally stupid thing to do, really. This was the man that came darn close to beating Sephiroth during the Wutai war; what in the world was Barret thinking?!

Tifa could tell the safety switch was engaged on the weapon, but Cloud wasn't in the right position to see the white triangle on the stock. In a flash she saw that 'other' Cloud spring into action, body launching across the kitchen with impossible speed and precision to crash into Barret, taking him to the floor with an almighty -thud- that shook the entire room.

With his gun arm pinned to the floor by a strength that slender man shouldn't possess, and a hand on his neck that wasn't -yet- cutting off his air supply, Barret looked straight into the coldest, bluest eyes he had ever seen. They chilled him to the bone, those not-completely-human eyes. Barret had no choice but to reevaluate the situation. Obviously this was a man capable of fighting against any odds without a single hesitation.

Yet he could also roll across the kitchen floor with Denzel, laughing and yelling in abandon right along with the child.

Okay, okay. Maybe he just might -barely- qualify to breathe the same air as Tifa.

With this in mind, Barret growled out, "Will ya mind getting this mangy Chocobo off my neck, Teefs?"

"You're the one that made him mad enough to jump you, Barret. You deal with him." Turning to the kids, she pointed at the kitchen door, "Upstairs, you two. I checked your notebooks, and you both have homework left to finish. I should have known Barret wouldn't think to make sure you took it with you." Two little heads hung in shame, but she saw the conspiring grins exchanged between them. "Go on, before I start thinking about chores."

The threat worked. Both scrambled up and out, thundering up the stairs like a herd of elephants.

Tifa turned to see Cloud had released Barret after a quick and unnervingly experienced check of the gun arm. Cloud once more leaned against the counter nonchalantly but remained watchful, body tensed and wary as Barret lumbered to his feet. He looked barely half the weight of the gunman and was several inches shorter, but there was a latent and dangerous look to his lean form that identified him as a far different breed than Barret.

She mused it was much like the difference between a frog and a dragon. There was absolutely no contest as to which was more deadly, and it certainly wasn't Barret.

"Heard about ya," Barret muttered, rubbing the shoulder that had nearly cracked her kitchen tiles when he fell. "Don't like ya moving in on Teefs like this. She deserves the best, and a mangy Chocobo ain't it." Still grumbling, he righted a chair and sat down, causing it to creak alarmingly. "How'd ya get all them scars? Looks like someone decided to carve ya up and he won't no expert."

Tifa fought down a shudder at the expression in Cloud's eyes. She could see the mask cloaking his thoughts, hiding whatever pain the comment had to cause. She was about to go to his rescue when Cloud spoke, a single word that explained much without saying anything at all.

"Hojo." The name was spat out like a four-lettered curse.

"I heard about him, too. And won't nothing good in it, neither." Barret sized up the younger man again, but there was a glimmer of respect showing now. "I'll be watching ya, Chocobo boy. Ya step outta line, I'll clean your clock but good, I will. Ya hear?" And he waved his gun arm again, but did not attempt to point it in Cloud's direction this time.

"I hear. Barret, I believe the name is. Mine is Cloud," he said with a challenging edge to his voice. "Only friends get away with the Chocobo remarks. You aren't there yet."

A snort greeted that assessment, but Barret didn't make any further comments as he stomped out, heading for the kids' room. The sudden silence in the kitchen was very welcome.

Tifa watched as a grin flickered across the fair face of Cloud Strife. "You do have your defenders, don't you? That's a story I would really like to hear sometime soon, Tifa." Walking across to her, he attempted to slide an arm around her waist but was thwarted when her hand slapped firmly against his chest again.

"Oh, no, you don't, Strife! I've finally gotten my heart rate leveled out and you are not spiking it again. Take those talented lips and magic hands elsewhere. I need to make breakfast, and then I'm putting the lot of you to work for causing so much trouble and noise this morning."

Thinking she had told him, she turned to reach into a cabinet.

Warm arms slid around her waist, cuddling her intimately against his lean form. A kiss glided across her nape, along with a whispered promise that made her toes curl. Then he was gone, disappearing back into the bar, leaving her shaken and stirred up at the same time.

Tifa gripped the counter, trying without effect to even her breathing. His words repeated over and over in her head, spoken in a husky tone guaranteed to make her knees weak.

"I am yours to command," Cloud had said.

Darn the man!