Ten Years

by chel567

Tris & Tobias's relationship over the past ten years...and where will it go from here?

6. Chapter 6

So, before you begin reading, I just want to share that I loved writing this chapter because I LOVE the Cubs and I couldn't help but give Tris a little piece of myself by making her a Zobrist/Arrieta fan (We miss you, Jake!). And, if you aren't familiar with Chicago's public transportation, the Red Line & the Blue Line are different parts of the El. Let me know if those references are too confusing. Happy reading!

TRIS – PRESENT DAY

The quiet of my apartment is shocking as I wake up. Over the past week I've gotten used to hearing Tobias's movements through the kitchen or his sly attempt to use the bathroom shower before me to allow me to sleep longer. I wonder if he even came back after his dinner with Zeke. Maybe he went to crash on Zeke's couch instead of returning.

I finished my freelance piece while he was out, so I guess it was a good idea for me to have some alone time. I can imagine it was also probably productive for him to hash things out with his best friend and straighten out his feelings.

When I'd pulled on the yellow t-shirt after my shower last night, it wasn't intentional. It just randomly happened to be on the top of the pile. But when I noticed it as I brushed my teeth, I couldn't help but slip back into memories of that night. After the drama early in the day I'd been able to relax enough to drink and enjoy myself, even if we never made it into the football game. We'd even ventured out to a couple bars with Tobias's fraternity brothers after the tailgate was over.

Once we were in the hotel we'd been shunned from the bedrooms to the pull out couch because we 'aren't together' like the couples sharing the room with us. It hadn't stopped Tobias from touching me, kissing me, in ways he never had before. It was sensual and erotic and almost…loving. And I remember kissing him…just kissing him, for a long time. His hands tangling in my hair with my body pressed against his. And for a brief moment I'd let myself think that maybe this was the beginning of a new chapter for us. Would things ever change?

The next morning he'd been the same, pulling me to him and kissing along the back of my neck, his hand slipping into my underwear once more before everyone else woke up. He expected nothing in return and whispered to me that he loved the way I felt on his hand, he loved getting me off.

But that had been that.

It's hard to not think about everything that happened between us. We have a lot of great memories, sexual and not. And after nothing changed following that event, I pushed that idea far from my mind, knowing that we just weren't right for each other. I thought about everything that was wrong with him, everything that made him wrong for me. All of his flaws that made us not fit together and I clung to them so hard that the idea of us, together, never entered my head again.

I tiptoe out of my room and Tobias is, in fact, asleep on the couch. Quietly, I start a pot of coffee, doing my best not to disturb him. He's probably hung over or at least tired, so I prefer to let him sleep it off. I pull out two coffee mugs and almost drop them when I hear his voice behind me.

"Hey."

I turn around to face him. "Sorry," I mumble. "I was trying not to wake you."

Tobias rubs his eyes and shakes his head. "I was already waking up. Don't sweat it."

"Did you have a good night out? I'm sure Zeke's been dying to have a guy's night."

He nods. "Yeah, he was. It was good…and helpful."

I watch the remaining brown liquid drip into the pot, not sure how to answer him. I pour us each a cup – we both drink it black – and walk over to the couch, placing them gently on the coffee table before sitting down. I cover my legs with one of the blankets as he takes a sip of the hot liquid and then leans back, turning slightly to face me.

"I'm breaking up with Lauren."

"What?!" I don't mean for my words to come out so forcefully, but I'm surprised to hear this. I had anticipated Tobias would at least try to go back and work it out because he would feel guilty if he didn't. The last thing I expected to hear from him was this.

"I can't do it anymore. Being here…being away from her, has made me realize how damn miserable I was with her. And talking to Zeke about it, putting it all out there, just confirmed it." He runs a hand through his hair, scratching at the back of his head. "I've done a lot of thinking over the past week."

"I'm really proud of you, Tobias," I say honestly.

He looks over at me with a sarcastic laugh. "I'm about to break her heart. Or at least call off an engagement, which she'll be embarrassed about."

"What's your alternative? Marry her and break her heart down the road? Marry her and be a miserable husband? She'll survive."

"I'm going to look for my own place," he says as he reaches for his coffee again. "I'll start today."

I reach over, placing a hand on his shoulder. "That's not important right now, ok? I'm serious."

He takes a drink of his coffee. "I can't stay here forever," he says with a smile. "Unless you want to get a two bedroom?"

Moving towards him, I slink my arms around his waist. "I don't know about that, Eaton." He leaves his cup on the table to circle his arms around me in return. "I think you're doing the right thing, Tobias. I know it's hard but you, out of every man I know, deserve to be happy. Truly happy."

"Thanks for being my person, Tris," he whispers softly.

TOBIAS – PRESENT DAY

Walking into the apartment I shared with Lauren, the first thing I notice is the difference between it and where I've been for the last week – Tris's. Lauren's décor style is modern, sharp. White and various shades of grey fill the apartment; it's much different than the warm, welcoming tones that fill Tris's home.

I'd called her to let her know I was coming so I'm not surprised that she's busying herself in the kitchen when I walk in. Tidying up messes that aren't even there, she turns to me sharply when she hears me greet her.

"Hello," she returns.

"How've you been?" I ask.

She shrugs. "Fine." She's already displaying a cold demeanor and I wonder if she's anticipating what's coming.

I nod, shoving my hands in my pockets. "I've…uh…done a lot of thinking. I'm sure you've done the same."

She puts her hands on the counter and leans forward a bit. "I didn't really have another choice, did I, Tobias? Not much to do other than think when your fiancé walks out on you."

I let out a frustrated sigh. "I didn't walk out on you, Lauren. That wasn't my intention. I wanted to give us some space, some room to breathe."

Instead of an agreeable response, she just shrugs, her eyes trained on me accusingly.

"I thought if we could both take a break, then we could come back together and sit down, work this out. I wanted to figure out where we were going wrong and make it right."

"Oh, you wanted that, right?" Her words are layered with sarcasm and anger. "So you get what you wanted…as usual." She rolls her eyes, and I can feel the anger bubble up in my chest.

"Lauren, look around. You have always gotten what you wanted. This apartment? It was your pick. Everything in our lives has been decided by you."

"What could you possibly want that you don't have, Tobias?!" Lauren puts her hands on her hips assertively, as if she's daring me to say I want something more than her, more than what we've already acquired together.

"My own shop," I say simply. "You used to support that. Now you don't. I don't know when that changed, Lauren."

She laughs. "Tobias, your job is a hobby that we are not throwing large amounts of money into. That's nonsense."

Her laughter hits me like bricks, and I know that this conversation is going nowhere. Lauren's inability to think of others combined with her selfish attitude isn't going to allow for a mature conversation. I shake my head and my shoulders sink.

"I'm done, Lauren," I say quietly. "This is done."

She's silent, unresponsive because of the shock that spreads across her face. Defeated, I hang my head and walk towards the bedroom, pulling a couple suitcases out from the top closet shelf. Hastily, I open the drawers and begin tossing clothes inside, the energy drained from that short, pointless conversation.

It's a couple of minutes before Lauren comes storming in, pushing the door open so hard it bounces back towards her.

"What about our wedding, Tobias?!"

"It's off," I say softly. "I can't marry you."

Her fists are balled at her sides as she yells out, "What are we going to tell everyone?!"

I shake my head and hold back a sad chuckle as I think about how pathetic it is that this is Lauren's main concern. She's more worried about what to tell people than she is about us.

"We'll tell them we broke up." In reality, my guest list is much, much shorter than Lauren's half. My mom, step dad, and friends will be supportive and probably somewhat relieved. But Lauren's large amount of friends, co-workers, family, and acquaintances might not take it so well.

"This is humiliating," she spits out at me.

I toss some more things in the suitcase and stop to look at her. "It's also humiliating to be engaged to someone who makes fun of you for your job, and won't listen to you talk about what you want. It's not what I want."

Walking to the bathroom, I scoop up some toiletries and toss them into a duffle bag from the linen closet. I hear Lauren continue to mumble and try to block it out, until I hear words escape her mouth that rattle me.

"This is about Tris fucking Prior, isn't it?" she says sharply. "I can't fucking believe – "

"Stop right there," I say coldly as I drop the duffle and point a finger at her. "Don't bring her into this. This is about me and you."

"How many times did you cheat on me this week? Huh? I bet you crawled right in her bed. She's always wanted to get her hands on you."

The irony of Lauren's comments almost make me laugh. Tris has had her hands on me many, many times – probably more than Lauren has. And Lauren, especially, Tris wanted to make sure that she respected. She knew that if she couldn't get along with my girlfriend, later fiancé, our friendship would suffer. And even though it's always been obvious to me that they were never fans of each other, Tris has always been the selfless one, sucking it up and being friendly. She did that for me.

"For Christ's sake, Lauren, you're really reaching right now. I've told you multiple times why I went to Tris's. That's all."

Lauren rolls her eyes. "Maybe I'll call her and ask," she dares.

"You want to fucking call her, go right ahead. She'll tell you that nothing fucking happened. But once you bring her into this, there's no going back. You broadcast your insecurity all over, that's on you."

That makes Lauren freeze, just like I knew it would. My feelings, or Tris's feelings, aren't enough to stop her from doing something. But her image is, and always will be, a deciding factor for her.

She lets out a frustrated grunt. "Well once you're gone, that's it. Don't think you can just walk back in here."

"I know," I say as I turn back towards the closet. I let out a loud sigh, grabbing a few more items and heading back to the bedroom to shove them in a suitcase. I've packed mostly clothes, things I immediately need for the next few weeks, and my suitcases are filled so far.

"Look," I say softly as I stand upright and make eye contact with her, "I can't get everything out of here right now. Plus, we've got some things to figure out financially, some shit to sort…so why don't we agree to talk about this in a couple weeks." When she doesn't respond, her face still contorted into an unhappy frown, I try again. "Lauren, we've got to do it sooner or later. We both know that right now is not going to work."

She's still silent, her eyes gazing out at nothing and I wonder if she's even listening. I lift the heavy suitcases onto the floor, wheeling them towards the door of the apartment. I'm about to open it when I hear her behind me.

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll call you when I'm…ready."

I nod, thankful she's finally agreed. "I can pay half the bills," I offer, even though I know I can't swing half the rent of the lavish, downtown apartment.

Lauren shakes her head. "No. I'm good."

In all honesty, she is. Lauren makes more than enough money to afford this herself, and I appreciate that she's not being spiteful and accepting my offer anyways.

"If you're sure."

"Yes," she answers more forcefully. "I'll see you in a few weeks."

TRIS – PRESENT DAY

It's four days after Tobias and Lauren's break up that a co-worker, Myra, reminds me of our annual spring work party this weekend. Our CEO, Tori, hates winter, and every year when the weather seems to finally have turned warm for good, she throws a party. Christmas is not a big deal in our office – it's all about the warm weather instead.

I had planned on going because of two reasons. I go every year, as it is usually enjoyable. But this year I am also going because of the location. Tori has rented out Murphy's Bleachers, a popular rooftop location directly across from the bleacher entrance of Wrigley Field. The Cubs are playing the Cardinals, so aside from enjoying the experience, the game will be good too.

When Myra tells me she's bringing her boyfriend, Edward, it reminds me that everyone is welcome to bring a plus one. I haven't brought anyone in years; Peter was probably the last person that attended an event with me. Despite the fact that Tobias is handling his separation from Lauren pretty well, I think that it would be a nice change of pace for him if he came with me – as a friend, of course.

I haven't been to Murphy's rooftop yet, and I'm not sure Tobias has either. We've both been into the bar on multiple occasions but rooftop tickets sell out quickly and can be pricey. I know he's going to appreciate the experience as much as I will. As soon as I'm off work, I head towards the barber shop to show him the invitation, excited about the possibility of him coming with me. I think it'll be good for him and I'm enjoying getting to spend time with Tobias.

It's a quick ride on the El to the barber shop where Tobias works. I take a quick peak in the window to find just a few customers inside. I'd hate to walk into a large crowd and interrupt him with a client. I slip through the door, walking casually back to his station. As if he can sense me, he suddenly turns to face me, his eyes seeming to light up when we make eye contact.

"Hey," he says with a hint of surprise in his voice. "Couldn't wait a couple of hours to see me?"

I return his playful smile and settle into his barber chair. It's vintage; I remember the day he bought it and he told me he was going to fix it up. It took a few years, but the aqua and black chair is one of the things he is most proud of now. Slowly, I pull the party invite from my purse, holding it against my chest to keep it from him. "I have an important question that couldn't wait."

"Oh?" He leans one arm against the small counter, looking at me with questioning eyes.

"Are you busy on Saturday?"

"I'm supposed to work," he says hesitantly.

Fuck! I totally forgot that Tobias works on Saturdays! I can feel my face fall, disappointment seeping in over the fact that he can't come and that I was just about to offer something to him that he can't agree to.

"Come on," he says with a casual smile. "What's going on?"

I sigh and flip over the invitation, a sad smile on my face. "I was going to ask if you wanted to come with me."

Tobias takes the invitation from me, reading the words and details. "Are you serious?"

Shrugging, I offer an apology. "I'm sorry. I completely forgot you work on Saturdays." It dawns on me that I had been looking forward to bringing Tobias with me more than I had realized. I knew we would have a great time together and we haven't had a chance to do that in years.

Tobias glances around the shop and gives me a curt nod. "I'll figure it out."

"What?"

"I'll find a way to go. A lot of guys won't mind switching days; Saturday is busy. Or I'll give them my afternoon so I can make the game."

I hold up a hand hesitantly, "You don't have to do that for me."

Tobias laughs. "You? They're playing the Cardinals, Prior. I'm doing this for me," he shoots me a playful smile, but I let my mouth drop open in an attempt to act hurt, my hand clutching my chest.

"Going with you is a nice bonus," he adds, a playful look dancing in his eyes.

Tobias brings home dinner that night, picking up pasta from an Italian place near the barber shop that he loves. He curtly mentions that Lauren would never eat there because there were 'too many carbs' as he dishes the food onto plates for us. He shakes his head following his statement, like he shouldn't have brought her up.

I'm surprised when he does again though, telling me that he's never felt more sure of anything before. "I feel so much lighter," he says from his side of the coffee table. Forgoing the kitchen bar we'd brought our dinner into the living room to watch TV while we ate, using the floor instead of the couch.

"I think it took some build up for me to turn around and look at the past and how happy I used to be." He pauses briefly before adding, "I think being around you helped, you know."

I feel heat crawling up my neck, so I shove spaghetti in my mouth to hold off answering.

Instead of waiting, Tobias continues. "When I'm around you, I'm reminded of the person I want to be. Thank you for that."

"I didn't do anything," I mumble, surprised by his words.

"You don't have to. You let me be me. You always have." I meet his eyes, and they're intensely focused on mine the minute we make eye contact. "It's a lot more than anyone else does, Tris."

Silent, I nod.

"You're the one person that always has my best interests at heart…so thank you."

"Always," I finally manage to squeak out. "I think we decided that years ago, right?"

He shakes his head and lightly chuckles. "I don't think we ever had a chance. We were just…stuck with each other from the get go."

"Fate?" I ask mockingly, knowing Tobias would never agree to something like that.

He studies me for a moment before tipping back his beer bottle. He swallows and then lightly shrugs. "Maybe."

XXXX

Tobias is at work while I get ready for the game. He'd opted to go in and work a couple hours in the morning, giving up his Saturday afternoon in the shop. Even though it's a work party, the event is casual, so I pull on a comfy pair of jean shorts as I debate between my Arrieta and Zobrist jersey. Arrieta isn't up in the rotation but Zobrist hasn't been playing in every game, so it's a tough decision. Eventually I settle on Zobrist, pulling my arms through the sleeves over my royal blue tank top.

Tossing the few things I need into my small clutch, I pick up Tobias's jersey – Rizzo has been his favorite for years – and head out the door to meet Tobias at the stop for the Red Line. It takes me longer to get there, but halfway through my ride on the Blue Line he texts me to confirm he's off for the day. My excitement grows at the thought of spending this day with him.

We've always loved the Chicago Cubs, bonding over the traditions and the legends of the game while also reminding each other that someday we'd win a World Series. Last year we'd watched the World Series together with our group of friends, typically at Zeke and Shauna's apartment, and although Tobias had hugged me, sweeping me off my feet, I'd felt Lauren's presence all along, her eyes shooting daggers as we celebrated something together that was of no concern to her.

His eyes are sparkling with excitement when I see him, his sexy smile spreading across his face as he approaches me. I hand him his jersey when he's near me and he slides it on before pulling me to him in a hug.

"Thanks for asking me to come with you," he says sincerely.

"Who else would I ask?" I half tease, knowing that truthfully there's no one else I wanted to come with me.

He shrugs and raises his eyebrows at me questioningly, but our conversation is over as the train pulls up and we rush on with the crowd of people. One of my favorite things about going to a Cubs game is the throngs of people in their red and blue Cubs gear, heading to the game in a herd of pride and love of one team. Chicago is like that with their sports teams, and it's one of the things that makes it a great city to be in.

The train is packed, so I grab onto a pole and stand near the door. Tobias's tall frame allows him to grab onto one of the bars along the top, his body standing close to mine to avoid touching others. I know that Tobias has adjusted to public transportation in the city, but the El still manages to make him feel claustrophobic when it's full. He stands close to me in hopes of touching none of the strangers around him, wanting space to help him feel like the train is open and not confining him.

But at the next stop when even more people pile on, I see his eyes dart around nervously. I watch as his breathing grows more rapid, and I take his free hand in mine.

His eyes move down to me, locking on mine. I take a long, deep breath and then slowly exhale, squeezing his hand to urge him to do the same. He catches my cue and follows, his breathing slowing and his grip on my hand loosening. A smile eventually creeps across his face as he returns to normalcy, his eyes still not off of mine.

"Thanks, Tris. You're still the only one that can manage to do that."

I smile back at him, but part of me wonders why he never established that with Lauren. She was, after all, supposed to support him and love him for the rest of their lives. Their divot was bigger than I ever imagined, I'm learning.

Realizing I was still holding his hand I release it, but Tobias just moves his hand to my lower back until we reach Clark and Addison, ushering me out in front of him.

TOBIAS – PRESENT DAY

Tris and I walk quickly to Murphy's. It's not far off the Red Line, but the crowds of people are already lining the streets and sidewalks despite it being early. I can tell Tris is just as excited as I am from the pep in her step, the way she quickly moves around people. Her smile brightens as we near the bar and she sees some of her co-workers, waving to them in greeting.

She introduces me to Myra, who in turn introduces us to her boyfriend Edward. A few other people nod or wave in greeting as we enter the bar, and Tris turns quickly when her name is called from a woman near the bar. I follow her as she heads in that direction, slipping through the crowd much easier than I can.

"I knew you'd be here early," the woman says calmly when Tris is near. "I'm glad you came."

"Of course I came," Tris replies. "This might be the best party you've ever thrown."

"As long as they win." The woman hands Tris a plastic cup full of beer as the bartender pours another.

"Thanks," she says before turning to me. "Tobias, this is Tori, my boss."

Slightly shocked that the woman with red highlights and tattooed arms is the owner of Tris's magazine, I keep my composure and extend my hand. Tori accepts my handshake while Tris continues introductions. "Tori, this is my friend, Tobias."

"Well, it's about time you got a handsome one," Tori says as she boldly eyes me.

She drops my hand as Tris rolls her eyes. "We're just friends," she protests, and Tori shrugs in response, handing the new beer that appeared on the bar to me.

"Drink up," she says as she raises her own glass. "Everyone in here should be drunk for how much I paid for this."

Tris nods. "We'll be sure to do our part!"

We tap our plastic cups together and each take a long drink, but Tori tells Tris she'd better be quick to grab a seat on top of the building in the bleachers if she wants one. I can only imagine how packed this party will be, and we definitely want a good view of the game.

We grab a great seat and we're done with our first beer before the game starts. Tris waits in our seats, wanting to see the line up while I head to the bar that's on top of the bleachers. Luckily we won't be heading back down each time we need another drink.

I hear her yell when they announce Ben Zobrist starting in left field and turn around to see her arms in the air in excitement. Tris can never decide on her favorite player, always having an internal battle from one to the next, but she's always loved Zobrist.

She smiles as she claps her hands, then high fives a co-worker next to her. I grab our two beers from the bar but hesitate a moment to drink in the site of her. Her blonde hair falling loosely around her shoulders and her aviator sunglasses resting on her nose, I think about how Tris's beauty has changed over the years. My attraction to her has always been strong, but she has always transitioned naturally and fluidly.

Shaking my head, I get back to my seat in the middle of the bleachers and hand Tris her beer. She takes it, thanking me, and then turns to introduce me to some of the people that are sitting by her. They're friendly and just as excited as we are for the opportunity to be here.

The game moves quickly, the Cubs taking an early lead after a few base hits and home runs by Rizzo and Bryant. With a score of 5-0, Tris and I decide to head inside to grab something to eat from the buffet and escape the sun for a bit. It's downstairs that we sit with Myra and Edward again.

I can tell that Tris is feeling the effects of the several beers she drank earlier, so if we're going to make it through the game it's a good idea that she paces herself. I grab us each a bottle of water after filling our plates, taking a seat at the table next to her.

Conversation is casual as we eat, Tris and I keeping up with the game with the multiple televisions inside of the bar.

"We should totally do this again this season," Myra suggests as we finish our plates.

Tris nods. "The food is really good, too. Totally worth it."

"I'm in for the unlimited beer," Edward says after he drains the rest of his glass. "I'll go grab us a couple more," he says as he notices Myra's is empty as well.

I nod to him. "I'll go with you," I tell him as I glance to Tris. "I'll get you another."

"Thanks," she says with a smile as she takes the last bite of her burger.

The bar is still lined with people, most who have probably been posted up in these seats all game. It's hard not to want to sit in the air and be continuously served free beer, but the sunshine and the atmosphere of the game still tops it.

"So, are all their work events this much fun?" Edward asks me while we wait. "I'll gladly go to all of them if they're similar to this."

I shrug. "This is my first one, too."

"Oh, really? Sorry, I just assumed you and Tris have been together a while."

"No big deal," I say with a nonchalant shrug.

"Myra and I just started dating when they had their party last summer and she went alone. But when she told me about it, I knew I'd be embarrassed to drag her to my work Christmas party," he says with a laugh.

"I work with all men," I say flatly. "We don't have any parties…but if we did, I don't think they'd be very appealing."

"Ah, so Tris gets off easy and doesn't get dragged to 'em. Don't let her tell Myra; she'll be insanely jealous."

I realize that Edward's assuming Tris and I are together, and as much as I feel awkward correcting him, I also don't want to disrespect Tris around her co-workers. "Oh…Tris and I….we aren't…together," I put together uncomfortably. "We're just friends."

"Oh, I'm sorry." He pauses as the waitress comes near us and holds up four fingers, motioning to the beer we're all drinking. "I guess you just seemed like it," he adds as he waits for our beer.

"Don't worry about it," I say, not sure how to explain Tris and my relationship to a stranger. "Plus, I wouldn't describe the group of guys I work with as people I'd like to introduce a female friend to." Specifically I think of Eric and the way his eyes roam over Tris when she comes to the shop. "It's probably better I don't ask her to go anywhere with that crowd, so Myra doesn't have much to be jealous of."

Edward nods, appearing happy that his girlfriend won't have someone to exaggerate with. He hands me two beers and we head back to the table, Tris thanking me as I give her a glass.

"I'm ready to head back up, if you guys are?" she questions. "There's only three innings left and I'd like to enjoy them outside.

I chuckle at her response and nod in agreement. I'd also like to catch the rest of the game outside. Standing, Edward and Myra follow our lead and head up to the bleachers with us, Tris finding a spot with an excellent view in the middle of the bleachers.

Oddly enough, I find my eyes drawn her more frequently than the field, as she hollers and cheers. The way she looks up at me shyly while she drinks from her cup with her eyebrows raised makes something inside my clench. I've looked at Tris so many times and seen her beauty. For ten years I've watched her change and grow and still remain this picture of perfection to me. I finally admit what I've never been able: that I don't want anyone else to have the opportunity to appreciate her beauty every day, I want it to be only mine.

I force my eyes back onto the game, pushing those thoughts out of my mind. Now isn't the time to press that issue, when we've both been drinking and I've only been broken up with my fiancé for four days. She'd never taken me seriously.

In the eighth inning, we're both back to being fully drunk. The sobering help of our lunch has faded and the multiple beers from the second half of the game are weighing in. Tris goes crazy when Zobrist hits a home run and the Cubs stretch their lead, pulling ahead 9-2. I put an arm around her waist and raise one into the air, cheering alongside her. It was a great game for this party and made for an even better atmosphere. Additionally, seeing Tris this thrilled and full of excitement is a welcome bonus.

I pull her to my side with my arm as the cheers calm, and her eyes meet mine. "Thanks for bringing me today," I repeat for the tenth time that day.

"I'm glad you came," she says back softly before pulling out my grasp to grab her cup, taking a long drink of her beer and turning back to the game.

XXXXX

TRIS – PRESENT DAY

Our party ends twenty minutes after the end of the game, so we stay until it's over to avoid the rush of the people getting on the Red Line. Afterwards we say bye to Myra and Edward before walking to the station, the crowd having thinned enough for us to find a seat when we step on.

Despite the amount of alcohol in our systems, I feel oddly energized from the game. The coffee I drank in the 7th inning may also have helped, but I know the lull of the train will make me drowsy in no time.

"Today was a lot of fun," I admit with a smile as I look at Tobias. "It was kind of like old times, you know? Thanks for going with me." As good as I thought this would be for Tobias, I finally acknowledge that it was good for me, too.

"It reminded me a lot of the old times," he admits, the smile in his eyes genuine.

"We should keep doing this," I tell him. "Even if it's not a special occasion." In reality, I've missed our fun group outings probably more than anyone, because I'm still single. It's hard to get a group together whenever everyone seems to have paired off.

Tobias's head bobs up and down. "I agree." His blue eyes look intensely into mine.

When we switch to the Blue Line I feel myself growing tired. My head falls over onto Tobias shoulder and I vaguely register him placing his hand on my knee as I hook my arm around his. I stay awake but let my eyelids fall as they grow heavy.

"You can sleep, Tris. I'll wake you at our stop." His voice is soft and soothing, but I lightly shake my head.

"No, I'll be ok until we get home."

His head nods slightly, but enough that I can feel it. "If you say so." His fingertips lightly rub my knee, his hand providing a warmth I didn't know was there until he removes it. When our stop arrives, we walk to my apartment quickly. We both grab water from the fridge, chugging it thoroughly to hydrate before sitting on the couch.

Tobias flips through the sports channels to find replays and highlights from the game, but I don't realize how fatigued I am from the game, and I knock out while he's still flipping channels.

XXXXX

It's hours later when I start to stir, feeling so insanely comfortable I let myself drift in and out of sleep several more times before I can't anymore. I can nap with the best of them, but today I'm engulfed in warm and security. It takes a moment to realize it's because I'm on Tobias's chest.

When I'd fallen asleep I was sitting next to him, I'm sure my head dropped onto his shoulder. How we ended up lying on the couch, me curled into his side, is a mystery. Assuming, it probably happened in a joint effort to be more comfortable, I brush it off. I cannot fall into this pattern again.

It had been brutally hard to acknowledge to myself that Tobias and I had an ending. He committed himself to Lauren in a way he never had before, and then made it even more serious when he proposed. It felt like a break up with no closure, but who was I to complain? I'd done the same thing to him when I'd dated Peter.

Pushing myself upright, I slowly move out of his grasp. Immediately, it registers with him and he readjusts, almost as if he's attempting to find what's suddenly missing. Only I know that it's me.

I head towards the kitchen to pour myself another glass of water. Thankfully we drank enough water to not let the sun or the alcohol do too much damage, and despite the fact that I has expected to wake up hung over, I'm not.

Glancing over at Tobias, I think about what his life will be like – what our friendship will be like – now that he's no longer with Lauren. Will we be able to return to hanging out, just like we did yesterday? Will he try to go back to the way things were, hooking up from time to time? I know that I won't let that happen – we aren't kids anymore. Maybe a marriage, or even a relationship isn't in my future, but I think I owe it to myself to be more than that to someone, even if I know Tobias cares about me.

I start the coffee and shake my head. His actions to seem to lean more towards old-Tris-and-Tobias, but he hasn't at all insinuated that anything like that should happen between us. I'm probably over reacting about something that'll never happen, anyways.