"I am, I will, so no longer,
Will I lay down, play dead,
Play your doe in the headlights,
Locked down and terrified.
Your deer in the headlights,
Shot down and horrified.

When push comes to pull, comes to shove,
Comes to step around this self-destructing dance,
That never would've ended till I rose,
I roared aloud here,
I will, I am."

-Rose by A Perfect Circle

-o-o-o-

"You can't just walk in there, Loki! You know you can't!"

"What did you think was going to happen, Stark? This was the plan, wasn't it? We knew they'd want to see me."

"That doesn't mean you should just waltz in there! I'm sure I could arrange something with Fury. If I just explained the situation-"

"What situation? That I'm so pathetic I can't even leave the house? I can't stay cooped up in here forever, Stark!"

"Oh, because the middle of SHIELD headquarters is the best place to acclimate? This is stupid. You aren't ready for this!"

"That's my choice to make! I'm not some coward that hides away."

"That's not the point! Loki, you just can't-"

"I don't want your pity, nor your guidance! I'm fine! You do not control me."

"That's not-"

"I said I am fine! This is not up for debate."

"Yes, it is! Especially since I'm the one who's going to be dealing with you when you blank out! We both know that's how this little power trip of yours is going to end! I'm not taking you to SHIELD, not like this. If something goes wrong, I can't guarantee your safety, and that isn't a risk I'm willing to take!"

"Maybe I don't need you to keep me safe! I'm not some weak damsel that needs to be protected by a mortal!"

"Really? You could have fooled me. Or have you just been acting this whole time? You don't really have panic attacks or blank-outs. No, of course you don't, because you're 'fine'!"

"Look at it this way, Stark: either we go there now, while our little demonstration is still fresh in their minds, or we drag this out and lose ground. I don't think they'll be as receptive to negotiation after you make them wait forever, because that's how long it's going to take before you finally realize I'm not incompetent."

"Loki, please. That isn't why I don't think we should do this. You know I don't consider you weak."

"Then prove it. Let me do this, Stark. If you don't think I'm weak, then at least trust me with this."

"...Fine. If that's what you really want. But don't be surprised when something goes wrong."

"It won't."

"We both know that's a lie."

-o-o-o-

Despite all of his bravado, Loki was terrified. The trip to the Helicarrier passed by in a blur; he remembered being guided into the backseat of a car and exiting the garage, but then the events blurred together into a haphazard mess.

At first, he had tried to ignore the chaotic world outside of the confines of the car, but motion and madness pulled his attention to the window. There were things everywhere. People talking and shouting and laughing. Bright colors and gaudy clothes. The clank of metal, the creak of leather. Odoriferous perfumes and malodorous trash. Dogs that barked and growled. Birds that cooed and flew. Cars—small, large, sleek, bulky, silver, blue, black, blue—zipped alongside and opposite, crisscrossing everywhere. They honked and roared and screeched, beasts of flashing metal. The reek of smoke and burning rubber. Music blared and faded. Waves pounded against the shore, chipping it away bit by bit. A slow, steady decay. And the sky, stretching as far as the eye could see, unmarred by heavy clouds.

Stark's presence waxed and waned, even though Loki didn't think the man was actually getting farther away. Sometimes when the man spoke, the words were just another buzz atop of the clamor, dissonant and meaningless. Other times the sound translated into words. "Loki, hey, if you're getting overwhelmed concentrate on me, okay? Damn it, this was such a stupid idea…"

Stark looked at him in the rear-view mirror, face twisted into a frown. His eyes were concerned, too concerned, and through the haze Loki felt the flashes of anger. "I am fine, Stark," he hissed even as he tried to follow the man's advice. Don't look out the window, look at Stark. Don't listen to things outside, listen to Stark. The next few snippets that breached the blare revolved around Stark as the man talked gibberish, nonsensical sounds that fought to be heard over everything else clamoring around them.

Then there was a loud bang and Loki started, automatically extending his senses to filter through the world around him; they swept into his mind, and he couldn't quiet them back down. It was like a drill inside his brain, going deeper and deeper, so sharp and invasive, and-

"That's it, I'm turning around. You're not even going to make the trip there at this rate."

It was hard to find the words, and his lips stumbled, but still he rasped, "No! No. I'll manage. I'm fine. I'm fine...I can do this. I'm fine." He thinks they argued some more, but he couldn't remember what they said- just that he had somehow won the disagreement and they kept moving forwards, even if all he really wanted to do was turn around and hide back in Stark's lab. 'I can't be useless anymore. I'm not weak. I need to be okay. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine...' But thinking it didn't make it so.

There was a gap in his awareness followed by a soft murmur. "Jarvis, call Fury. Ask him to try and reduce the noise level there or something. Say I have a hangover if you have too, just make him do it."

The car slowed. There was an authoritative, foreign voice. "I need to see some ID." Some shuffling and quiet words, then, "What's wrong with him?"

"Nothing. He's just not used to leaving the house, is all."

Distantly, Loki thought he should be mad about being treated like he was an invalid. 'Not weak. I am Loki. A god. He who should be king.' But then the moment slipped away and he forgot what he had been thinking.

The next thing he knew, there was a hand on his shoulder and Stark's voice in his ear. "Hey bud, we're here. Come on, it's too late to go back. You need to pull yourself together." Loki blinked slowly, dazed, and dragged his eyes to Stark. The man gave him a strained smile and patted his shoulder before pulling back. "Let's go, princess. It's party time."

Fueled by pride and will, the god pulled himself together. He took a deep breath, steeled his nerves, and stepped from the shelter of the car. As he stood, a mask settled across his features, transitioning the expression from terrified man to powerful god. There was only one thing missing, and with a twist of his fingers, Loki's comfortable Midgardian clothes were replaced with ostentatious leathers.

"...Okay, I must admit, that's kind of creepy," Stark said as he looked the god up and down, whistling softly at the formidable image. "I had gotten used to you wearing sweats and tees all the time."

Loki settled into his role, trying to accentuate the fact that he was okay. Words came from his lips unhurried and level, as artificial as the rest of this show. "While preferable, I don't think that state of dress is going to make the right impression. Now hurry up, I can't do this all day." Or even for a few hours. The clock was ticking—tick-tock, tick-tock—as the darkness rammed against his walls and tried to feast upon his dislocated mind. Clenching down on his distress, Loki gestured for Stark to lead the way. The man give him one last hesitant look, not buying the show, before he turned around and started walking, Loki right behind him.

They emerged from the dim, quiet parking garage into the bright Californian sun. People bustled to and fro, dressed in uniforms and sleek suits. A few stopped and stared as he and Stark walked by, and Loki could only hope it was because of his unusual dress and not the unhealthy pallor of his skin or gauntness of his limbs. The few whispers he could hear—"Who is that man with Tony Stark?" "I've never seen him before. Do you think he's a superhero, too? I mean, he is wearing armor." "Yeah, and it looks heavier than he is. I wonder what's wrong with him."—told him it was both, and his hands balled into fists until he could feel his nails threatening to break skin.

"At least the Helicarrier is docked right now. This would have been a lot more difficult if we had to take a plane across the country. It would have made the two hour drive seem like a walk in the park," Stark commented as they made their way through the complex, looking over his shoulder to check on Loki. "How are you holding up?"

"Asking won't change anything, Stark. I'm fine." Yet his heart was beating quickly inside of his chest, and he could hear each pump as the blood rushed through his ears. Thu-thump, thu-thump. 'Why are you so afraid?' His eyes darted around, trying to scope out any threat. He was hyper-aware of all the people around him, watching as they moved around large shipment crates, repaired broken equipment, and interacted amongst each other. No one seemed hostile, but still his skin crawled and his breath threatened to hitch. 'You're fine, aren't you? Stop being so pitiable.'

Loki clenched his fists even tighter and felt the hot trickle of blood on his palm before the skin sealed over again. With a rough shake of his head, he tried to disband the thoughts that weighed down on him. Right now, he had a role to play, and any failure on his part was unacceptable. 'I'm fine. I am.'

"You can't lie to me, Loki. Not on this. I'm just saying that if you need to go back home, tell me. I'll figure something out." Except it was too late, because they had already crossed the grounds and were walking up the steps to board the large carrier. The only thing Loki could do now was try and map out the ship in his head so that if something went wrong, he wouldn't be at a complete disadvantage. He couldn't—wouldn't—rely on Stark's help this time. He was a god, and it was about time he acted as such, even if his mind wasn't working properly.

They walked around fighter planes and storage crates until they reached a large reinforced door. Stark pulled an ID card out of his pocket and slid it through the keycard lock, receiving a beep and green light in reply. Stark looked at Loki again, took a deep breath, and pushed the door open.

The inside of the Helicarrier was just as busy as the outside, if not more so. People rushed through the halls, some in uniform and others in compact suits. Loki and Stark were barely spared a glance in here as they walked through the throng. It wasn't until they reached what Loki assumed was the main control room when someone paid attention to them. "You sure took your sweet time, boys," a gruff voice said, and Loki recognized it immediately from all the times he overheard Stark's conversations: Director Fury.

He and Stark turned as one, and Loki instantly pinpointed the director. Even if he hadn't seen a photo of Fury from hacking into Stark's system, it was clear this man was in charge. With his hands clasped loosely behind him and his back ramrod straight, he swept into the room like he owned the place.

Unable to stop himself, Loki's eyes were drawn to the man's eye-patch. He felt the memories within him stir, so easily brought to light at the slightest reminder. Recollections of failure, disappointment, and betrayal: of things that he could not forget no matter how much he wanted to. The visage of his father—not father, and it ached to know that everything of Loki's was 'not'. What was there that he could call his own?—haunted him. He remembered that one blue eye looking down at him, always ashamed of how weak he had become. Always regaling him to being nothing more than a tool.

But Fury was not Odin, and this was not Asgard. Loki would not suffer being considered weak just because he could not keep his own mind from wandering. Pulling harder on the strength of his will, he schooled his features back into nonchalance as the director approached, a scowl fixed firmly on his face as he glanced between them. When Director Fury came to a stop, he gave Loki a long, scrutinous look before saying, "If you two wouldn't mind, we're going to have a nice little chat in the conference room." Then he turned and stalked off, not checking to see if they followed.

"He's such a drama queen..." Stark muttered under his breath as they moved to catch up to the man. Walking at a brisk pace, they wound through the carriers numerous corridors, going deeper and deeper into the ships interior. The farther they went, the quieter it got, and for that Loki was thankful. He didn't, however, appreciate that Fury was purposely trying to put him at a disadvantage by immersing him in unknown territory. While teleporting away was always an option, it was an escape tactic; there was always a chance for things to go wrong before then.

Eventually, the three came at a stop before a nondescript door, and Loki was surprised to note that the sign beside it did say 'conference room'. He had been half expecting Fury to try and stick him in a lock-down room until he decided if Loki was a threat or not. The director punched in an entry code, and the door slid open, revealing nothing more than a large circular table surrounded by cheap chairs. They entered the room, and the door slid shut behind them, locking with a faint click. The sound made Stark give Fury a disapproving frown, but he otherwise remained silent in his protest.

"Now then, why don't you take a seat and we can stop wasting time." The director's tone booked no room for argument, so Loki walked around the table and pulled out a seat that gave him a full view of the room. Stark grabbed the seat next to his, while Fury remained standing at the head of the table.

Inside his chest, Loki's heart began to beat faster. He glanced briefly at Stark, trying to ascertain from the man's body language what he was thinking. The engineer caught his eyes and gave him a flimsy smile. One didn't need to be well-versed in strategy to know that they were in a poor position. SHIELD may not be against Stark, but they certainly weren't going to just accept the god into their fold. To top it off, Loki didn't actually know what Fury wanted. Was this about New Mexico? Did they want to lock him away? Punish him? Or was it related to how close he was with Stark, and they wanted to make sure he wasn't an information leak? Or was it as he and Stark hoped, that they wanted to ally with him because of his magic?

Whatever it was, if Loki played his cards wrong he might end up worsening their position. Director Fury knew that, and he seemed to enjoy making Loki and Stark stew while he stood there. For all that it was stressing Loki out, under the building panic he had to admit he kind of liked this man. Fury was clearly experienced in what he did, and Loki was certain lesser men have caved simply from Fury's unwavering disposition.

Loki, however, was not a lesser man and knew how this game was played. He kept himself still, making sure Fury understood he was not at all intimidated. They stared each other down, and Loki ignored Stark's quiet mutter of, "You can just smell the testosterone in the air."

Finally, the director relented and broke off his one-eyed glower to reach into his trench coat and pull out a file. He threw it onto the table towards Stark. The engineer pulled it closer and curiously opened it. He rifled through a few of the papers, eyes skimming over their content. One page in particular caught his attention, and his shoulders relaxed. With a relieved grin, Stark pushed the papers towards Loki.

The god repeated the same process, speed reading each sheet until he reached the one that had calmed the other man. The words 'Potential Avengers Candidate' stared back at him, and it took Loki only a moment to remember that the Avengers was SHIELD's superhero pet project. Just like Stark had, Loki allowed himself to relax a little bit. Status as a potential ally put him at a lot better ground than being considered an expendable threat.

Then he realized that both Stark and Fury were looking at him expectantly—well, suspiciously, if he was just talking about the director. That's when Loki realized he wasn't actually suppose to know who the Avengers were, so he prompted himself to ask the anticipated question: "Avengers?"

"It's a group of superpowered individuals, and apparently Barton thinks you'd be a good candidate," Fury replied while staring at the god like he was a lab specimen; Loki wished more than ever that he had his old physique back, and not this pale, gaunt mess. "Though I can't see why."

Loki resisted the urge to prove Fury wrong. As amusing as turning random things into serpents or shifting himself into another animal to startle people was, that'd be playing into the director's hands. What people didn't know about him couldn't be used against him. Since it seemed Stark was waiting for his lead, Loki decided to play this game his way—meaning he'd dance around the topic until they gave him more information than he gave them. "I've been told before that I am a decent artist. I am also fluent in elvish, and know the best way to oust a bilgesnipe. Are those skills suitable enough?"

Fury's face was like thunder, and Stark laughed. "Nah, we already have Steve for that girly art stuff. And what the hell is a bilgesnipe?"

Keeping one eye on the director in case he got too irritated by their antics, Loki turned towards Stark. "I forget you don't have those here. They're huge, scaly beasts with big antlers. Repulsive creatures, truly."

Apparently Fury didn't have that much patience, because the man was quick to interrupt, "As fascinating as alien zoology is, there are more important topics to discuss. I don't have time to indulge your idiocy, Stark."

"Hey, don't get mad at me. I didn't start it." Stark raised his hands in an 'I'm innocent' gesture that was completely ruined by the smirk on his face.

"Considering that your brand of stupidity is particularly contagious and ET here has been spending the past few months in your basement, I'm going to say it's your fault."

That got Loki to put his full attention back on Fury; he fought to keep his fear from spiking, but he couldn't stop the jump of his heart or the twisting in his guts. How did the director know how long he has lived with Stark ...What else did he know?

Loki kept his voice from trembling as he spoke lowly, "So you're trying to say you know about me, is that it? Clearly you don't know as much as you think you do." Not if they were willing to let him walk amongst them without any real security measures. If they knew just what he was—mage and monster both—they wouldn't have invited him into their stronghold. Distancing him from the main hub was only effective if he didn't decide to teleport back up there. And considering that Stark didn't have anti-magic technology, SHIELD shouldn't, either.

"Oh, I think I do, Loki." The way Fury said his name made Loki bristle, and for a brief moment, he feared he greatly underestimated SHIELD. Any doubt he had about whether or not the government agency knew of his involvement in New Mexico vanished. It had been a foolish hope to think they'd be ignorant anyway, considering the others who had been there that day had no qualms about revealing too much. If they wanted retribution... But Fury continued talking, putting a temporary halt to that train of thought. "However, that isn't the reason I wanted you here today. We have bigger fish to fry."

"And just how big is this 'fish' that you'd be willing to ignore... that?" 'That' being the attempted destruction of a whole town.

"Yeah, what's up with the fish? Unless you're talking about Doom, but he's crawled back home for now." Stark ignored the hostile look Fury was giving him. "I didn't see anything like that in the files, and though you could've improved your security, I don't see that happening anytime soon."

"For your own safety, Stark, I would suggest you avoid insinuating that you regularly hack into a top-secret government database. As for the fish, we got a notice last week that Earth may face a new threat. A titan sized threat." He regarded Loki. "Does the name Thanos sound familiar to you?"

Loki nodded, confused at the implication. "The Mad Titan, but... what does that have to do with Midgard?" He knew the story of Thanos; almost everyone did. The titan was infamous for his depravity and obsession with Death—for nearly destroying all of the Nine Realms. If Fury was going where Loki thought he was, then... it wasn't a situation to take lightly.

"Everything, apparently. Our source says that there is reason to believe that this Thanos guy is coming to Earth, and it ain't gonna be for a tea party. If he does show, he'll be toting a large army of aliens from another galaxy."

"Aliens?" Stark cut in, disbelieving. "That sounds a bit... sci-fi." Loki gave him a deadpan look, and it took a moment for it to click. "Oh, right... I'm already in the same room with one. Never mind, I can believe that. But why Earth?"

"Our informant wasn't very comprehensive in his warning. I was hoping that Loki here would know something about it."

Loki chuckled mirthlessly at that. "You would actually trust my word?"

Fury gave him a fake, tight smile in return. "Not at all, but seeing as how right now we know absolutely nothing and you're the only known alien around, we might as well give it a try. So tell me, what does he want with Earth?"

Quickly discarding any lies he could have told, because truly it would gain him nothing, Loki explained, "In simplest terms, Thanos would come here because Midgard is a gateway. It is the only way to enter the Nine Realms; if he wants to get to the other eight, he'd have to go through this one first." Which would have been an alarming notion if Loki actually had reason to believe Director Fury's claim of imminent demise. Thanos was a legend, after all—faded into obscurity with his crimes laid to rest. As far as Loki was concerned, this conversation was purely hypothetical.

It seemed Fury and Tony were in the same boat (if the lack of panic or urgency was anything to go by) but Fury still asked, "How do we keep him out? I'm not letting aliens invade my planet."

"I don't think you'd have a choice," Loki said with certainty. "If Thanos came to Midgard, everyone would die. It's as simple as that."

"What?" Tony exclaimed. "Woah, hold up. I think you're underestimating us Earthlings there."

"I assure you that I am not. Not that it matters—the outcome would be the same either way." He turned to Fury, who seemed to be sorting through everything Loki just said. "How sure are you that Thanos is actually coming here?" If Fury actually thought that Thanos was coming, asking someone he didn't trust would be horrid tactics.

"Not very," Fury admitted, confirming Loki's thoughts. "The person who told us said that they weren't certain if Thanos was really on the move, or if it was just misinformation. However, if there's even a sliver of a chance of it happening, it's SHIELD's job to be prepared. That includes making sure we have enough firepower to fight back." The man gave a pointed look to the pile of papers that were spread out before Loki.

The vague references to whoever had supplied SHIELD information set off warning bells in Loki's head, prompting him to ask, "And who, exactly, is this mysterious informant of yours?" Because out of everyone who could give Midgard information, Loki could only think of one person who actually would.

The expression on Fury's face shifted, and Loki tensed. It seemed almost like regret, but... Why? Loki watched, wary and ready to act, as the director moved to the controls besides the projector screen in the room. "I was wondering when you'd ask. I figured if anyone could vouch for the validity of our source, it'd be you. Not that I'd trust your word on this particular matter."

Fury hit a button and an image covered the wall. It only took a split second for Loki to recognize the person—a split second for all of his efforts in keeping his mind grounded to be completely washed away. Nearly eight years had passed, and yet he looked the same as always. The same blond hair, the same expressive blue eyes, the same carefree demeanor.

'Did you even miss me at all, brother?'

The familiar face hurt just too look at, and Loki felt tears well up in his eyes. It had been so long since he'd seen him, and yet watching the screen it seemed like they had fought only yesterday. The guilt, hatred, and love all boiled up inside him, and Loki couldn't help the desperate whisper that welled up inside him. "Thor. Thor."

'My brother.'

-o-o-o-

The whole situation was stupid. Absolutely stupid.

It had been a stupid plan on the drive there, when Loki was slumped in the back seat and shuddered with every rev of the engine, his hands clamped tightly over his ears. It had been a stupid plan when they pulled into the California base and Loki was so zoned out that he didn't react to the security guard's pitying inquiries. It had been a stupid plan when they walked to the meeting room and Loki hid avidly behind an unyielding mask, looking like he was about to go to war. It had been a stupid plan when they listened to Fury talk about Thanos and Loki said with no uncertainty that if the Mad Titan really was coming, they were all going to die.

And it was still a stupid plan with that damn picture on the screen and Loki sitting rigid with his eyes wide and bright with tears.

"Loki? Loki! What's wrong?" Tony gripped the god's shoulder, heart dropping at the sharp trembling he could feel even through the thick layers. "Damn it..."

This is what Tony had spent the whole day in tense anticipation of. This was always going to be the result of their stupidity. Because no matter what happened, Loki would never get a break. Just when he thought things would get better, just when it seemed like there was a way forwards, reality had to rear its ugly head. Of course things wouldn't be okay. Insane powerful aliens could very well be on their way to Earth, Loki was still an unstable wreck, and Fury was convinced the god would be able to do something to fix it. But he couldn't, and Tony knew that as clearly as he knew the color of the sky. Loki wasn't able to fix anything, not right now.

"Thor..." came the strangled whisper, the word barely passing through bloodless lips. "Thor."

"Thor? What about Thor?" His only answer was Loki's ragged wheezing, and even when Tony placed himself between the god's gaze and the projector, Loki kept staring blankly, tears streaming down his face.

Inexplicably, Tony felt anger stir inside of him: at Loki, at the world, at whatever the hell made the god this way. He was just so tired. Month after month of the same thing, and it was easy to forget all the improvements they've made when the ending would always be the same.

"Thor is Loki's brother. The one Loki tried to kill." Tony whipped around to face Fury while Loki made a miserable keening noise. The director was still standing by the wall, hands clasped behind his back. His one eye was watching both of them closely, but Tony couldn't for the life of him figure out what the man was thinking.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Tony growled, tightening his grip on Loki's arm. But he knew. He had always known; he just hadn't cared.

"Don't play dumb, Stark. I know you've seen the files. Thor came to Earth eight years ago, and Loki sent a death machine upon him. Nearly destroyed a small town while he was at it. Or did you forget that while you were busy playing nurse?" As he said this, Fury's eye was on Loki like a hawk. His stern countenance didn't change even as the god started to shake harder, hyperventilating in between agonized whines.

"Now isn't the time, Fury!" Tony's fingers dug harshly into Loki's arm, but the god didn't even seem to notice. Instead, he met the director's eye with a different emotion: rage. The god's lip curled, baring his teeth even as bright tear streaks marred his cheeks.

If Tony was being completely honest with himself, he'd admit that like this, Loki looked deranged. That for all of Tony's insistence that the god wouldn't hurt anyone, he didn't believe his own words in that very second. If this continued, Tony knew it was only going to end with violence, and he didn't need Fury around for that.

"That's enough! Fury, if you don't get out of this room right now, I'm withdrawing all of Stark Industries' financial support! You are out of line!" He added his glare to Loki's, daring the man to try and stay.

But the director relented, and with a low, "We're going to have a nice chat about this when you're done," he turned around and stalked from the room. The door slid shut with a click, leaving Tony and Loki alone in the room. Not unmonitored, however.

"Jarvis, cut the audio and video feed from this room. Warn me if they hack past your block."

"Certainly, sir. I will endeavor to keep the door locked from the outside as well," the AI said over the speakers in the room, revealing his presence inside SHIELD's system. Tony hadn't intended to show his hand on this, but... they had him improve their security. They should have known he'd put his own safeguards in place.

Now shielded from unwanted eyes or ears, Tony turned back to Loki (always Loki, because that was who his life revolved around now, wasn't it? No time for himself, never able to relax, because it was always Loki, Loki, Loki. And he hated it.) "I told you. From the very beginning, I told you that this was going to happen. And yet you insisted on being stupid!"

Tony should have been comforting the god, should have been trying to diffuse the situation, but he could not push past the anger that simmered inside of him. The constant stress was finally getting to him, and try as he might, he could not let it go.

It seemed like Loki was feeling the same way, because he forced his attention onto Tony, green eyes glinting and dangerous. "There was no other option. You are the one who's being foolish." Then he reached over and gripped Tony's wrist, pulling away the hand that had been digging into his arm. Tony let him go and watched with narrowed eyes as Loki rose to his feet. The god loomed over Tony's shorter stature, forcing the engineer to look up.

Intimidation, however, did nothing to stop Tony. "Oh, so wanting to avoid you going off the deep end is 'foolish'? You didn't seem to mind when I was doing it earlier. Or what, is eight months of being useless finally getting to you?"

'Shut up, Tony! Just stop talking!' his mind shouted at him. 'You're saying stuff you're going to regret. You need to stop this now, before it gets any worse.'

But he couldn't stop. Not as Loki sucked in a sharp breath, not as he twisted away so they were no longer chest to chest, and not as he turned around once he reached the other side of the room to shout, "I am not useless! I can manage myself, Stark! I'm fine!"

Tony was starting to hate that word and all of the lies it carried. "No you aren't! You can say it as many times as you want, it doesn't change anything! You want to know what you are? You're fucked up. You're broken."

"I am a god!" Loki cried, his voice raw. Fresh tears were now streaming down his face even as he yelled, and Tony felt guilt well up inside of him, dampening his anger. But not enough to keep one last hateful statement from passing his lips.

"You're a shame amongst gods!"

It was as if the words were a physical blow, forcing Loki to stumble backwards. For a moment, Tony thought that the god would break down into sobs, and he automatically took a step forwards to go and comfort Loki, but then green eyes rose to meet his, and Tony froze.

The sheer amount of hatred and wrath in Loki's eyes floored him, and Tony Stark realized that he was afraid. He had lied when he said the god was a shame. If anything, he respected the other's strength, of both body and mind. But he never expected to have that force directed at him, nor with such ferocity. "Loki-"

"I am a god." Loki repeated, his voice no more than a whisper, and yet it chilled Tony more than the shouting had. "Damaged or not, I am still a god, and you would be wise to remember that."

Before Tony could say anything else, could apologize and try and make amends—because even through the anger, Tony could see the hurt and sorrow, and it was his fault. He needed to make things right, or Loki would have no one, and he feared to think about what the god would do then—a green haze suddenly collected around Loki's skin. For one brief second, Tony thought that Loki would attack him, but before he could even blink the god was gone. Loki vanished into the air, and Tony had a feeling he didn't go back to the house.

"Jarvis, please, please tell me he's back in Malibu, or at least somewhere on the Helicarrier," Tony begged.

"I'm sorry sir, but I cannot find Loki anywhere."

All of the anger fled from Tony at those words, leaving behind nothing but weariness and worry. "Keep an eye out for him. If he goes back home, tell me. Otherwise..." Tony ran his fingers through his hair, heaving out a sigh. Adrenaline gone, he felt exhausted. "I'm going to go tell Fury to check all the surveillance. I doubt Loki's going to just sit quietly somewhere, not with an exit like that." Tony could only hope that in his insanity, Loki had enough sense to not hurt anyone. Property damage he could work with, but if the god went homicidal...

With one last look around the room, Tony quietly asked Jarvis to unlock the door and went to go find Fury.