Surrender

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

A/N-thank you for the kind reviews! This chapter will be a difficult read, be careful…

Also, part two of 'The Alpha Inside' is up on AO3. Thank you so much for the awesome reviews. I'm really excited about this one.

Part Six

Bella was still asleep; her peaceful breathing marking a steady beat. Jacob rested beside her; he hadn't been able to leave her side all night. When he tried she would immediately stir, eyes opening, body tight with stress. He couldn't bear it when she looked at him like that, like a small frightened child. She was more distressed then he had realised when she had first flung herself into his arms after awakening from her nightmare. She kept apologising to him, he wasn't sure why.

"No baby." Bella whispered in her sleep. Perhaps she wasn't sleeping as soundly as he originally thought. She shifted in his arms, pressing against him and mumbling something he couldn't understand. Then she turned again, so she was facing him. "No baby." She whispered again.

Jacob was alarmed to see a single tear leak from under her closed lids as she called his name. He touched her hair lightly, not intending to disturb her, but hoping that his touch would calm her down. But instead she jolted awake, opening her eyes. "I don't…." She looked around blearily before her gaze settled on him. "Jacob."

"Hey." Jacob greeted her as he climbed off the bed. He needed to put some space between them. Holding her all night had taken its toll on him. It was too intimate, too much of what he once dreamed he could have, but wasn't allowed.

"How long have I been asleep?" Bella wasn't aware of his quandary. She rubbed her eyes, trying to chase away the remnants of her troubled dreams.

"About fourteen hours." Jacob had been counting as he lie beside her in the dark. He hadn't slept at all.

Bella's head shot up and she stared at him, uncomprehending. "Fourteen hours. I don't believe it."

"You must have needed it." Jacob shrugged, trying not to make a big deal of it.

"And you stayed with me the whole time." Bella lowered her gaze before glancing up at him again through her thick lashes. She felt guilty for the way she had forced him to stay with her. She had pleaded with him not to leave. He was her safe port in a storm. It was better when he was close. "Last night…" She began. She paused when she saw his eyes flick toward a broken laptop lying on top of her dresser. "So, it was true." She continued. She had been hoping that her conversation with Edward had been a dream. But the evidence proved otherwise.

"Did you drop it?" Jacob asked curiously. He was bemused by her reaction. "Charlie didn't recognise the laptop. We didn't bring one back with us when we brought you home." He frowned when he saw her face pale. "Where did it come from?"

Bella turned away from him and drew her knees up to her chest, hugging them. She suddenly felt very cold. "It's mine." She admitted dully. "It was a gift from… from Edward." She heard Jacob inhale sharply behind her when she mentioned Edward's name. She was glad she had her back to him and couldn't see his reaction. "He sent it on to me."

"He wasn't supposed to contact you." Jacob said harshly. "That was the deal."

Bella rested her chin on top of her knees and closed her eyes. Jacob was upset. And rightly so. Any contact with vampires was detrimental to her health. Edward had taken a risk. Of course he must have had the laptop wiped clean, but still it was a risk. She felt a light touch on her shoulder. The warmth coming from Jacob's touch as he let his fingers linger a little longer than necessary on her shoulder blade sent shockwaves through her skin. She opened her eyes again and turned her head to look up at him. He didn't look angry as she expected, he was in control again now. Instead he appeared concerned.

"Did you want to talk about it?"

Bella wanted to. She wanted to spill her guts. To unburden herself to this boy, no, he was a man now. But it wouldn't be fair to saddle him with her sad story. Would he even understand when she didn't herself? It was scary how the trauma of her union with Edward was affecting her so deeply now. When she changed it was like her human emotions, or the memory of them, had been wiped clean. She remembered the train of events but was detached from them. Edward hadn't been lying when he said she had lowered her shield and let him see into her mind. She had forgiven him, because vampire Bella was not human Bella. She was wrapped in a hard skin. Nothing could affect her. But now her skin was soft again, it covered a beating heart and once again she was prey to all the human frailties and emotions that came with living in it.

"Bella?" Jacob prompted her.

"I spoke to Edward." Bella admitted. "It didn't go well. I broke the laptop."

Jacob raised his eyebrows in surprise. This was new and unexpected. He didn't know what to think or feel. Instead he decided to change the subject. "Are you hungry?"

"No, but I expect you are." A glimmer of a smile crossed Bella's face for a moment. "I could make you something." She offered. Would she even remember how to, she wondered. It had felt like forever since she had indulged in one of her favourite pastimes. Like her memories, her old interests had died along with her mortal body. Now she was back in her mortal body would they be revived along with her?

Jacob was trying to read her face. She looked pensive all of a sudden. He sighed and turned away. He was getting caught up in her again. She was so beautiful, so needy. She needed him. Old habits died hard. He couldn't go back there. He wouldn't allow himself to fall under her spell again. She had destroyed the best part of him when she had rejected him for the bloodsucker. She only wanted him in her life now because she couldn't have her fairy tale with Edward. He deserved so much more than being second best.

"You don't need to cook. Charlie will do it. I have to go, actually."

Bella's throat tightened at the prospect of him leaving. He couldn't go. His solid presence was the only thing holding her together. If he left it would just be her and Charlie sitting in awkward silence. There would be too much time to think, too much time to dwell on the mistakes of her past. "I'm so sorry that I've been keeping you here, Jacob. But I need you." Her face flushed at how selfish and whiny she sounded, but she couldn't help it. Every word she spoke was true. "Please, stay with me."

She was going to kill him. She really was. Those were the very same words he had used when he had begged her to stay after she left for Italy to go and rescue Cullen. She had ignored his pleas then, and now he wanted to inflict some of the old pain he had felt back onto her. It was irrational and so petty, but he couldn't help how he was feeling. Jacob kept his back to her and breathed deeply. He would remain calm, focused. "You needed me before. That was reason enough." He said roughly. "But you are home now. You don't need me anymore."

Bella scrambled off the bed and darted toward him in a blind panic. She wasn't even aware of what she was doing. She collided with him, rebounding off his taut body and falling back onto the bed. Jacob was so shocked that he instinctively reached out to her in comfort. Bella saw his opened arms and flung herself into them. She practically climbed up his body to get close to him. Her arms wound around his neck in a death grip. She sank her fingers into his shaggy hair and tucked her head under his chin.

"You're wrong, Jacob. I need you all the time." She gasped for breath as she clung to him. "I can't breathe without you here."

Jacob looked over her head in despair. He didn't know what to do. Bella was torturing him with her actions. He was drowning in the torrent of his suppressed emotions. He wanted to prise her off him while simultaneously wanting to hold her in his arms forever. He hated her and loved her at the same time.

"I can only breathe when you're here." She whispered again.

"You managed to survive without me for a whole year." He licked his lips as he tried not to inhale her sweet scent. She was driving him crazy.

"I wasn't breathing then." Bella's lips brushed against his hot skin. He shivered at the contact. "Please, stay with me." She pleaded.

For a moment, he held her, letting the silence wrap around them. Then he remembered something. Something she had said in her sleep. "You were talking in your sleep." He said raggedly. "You said no baby. What did you mean?"

There was a loud buzzing in Bella's ears. She shook her head, trying to drown out the question. "I don't remember." She mumbled.

"You're lying." Jacob wet his lips again with his tongue. She was definitely hiding the truth. Her accelerated breathing and her rapid heart rate confirmed it. He reached up and unwrapped her arms from around his neck and she let him. Jacob placed her on the bed. He crawled onto the bed beside her, cupped her chin in his warm hand and lifted her face. She was dead behind the eyes as she looked at him. Jacob flinched.

"My wedding night was my last night as a human. Edward lost control in the midst of his passion and bit me. It takes three to five days for the transformation to take place. Mine took ten. I languished in excruciating pain; it was like being burned alive. No one could understand why it was taking so long. It was only when Carlisle examined me that he realised I was pregnant. The baby I was carrying was fighting to stay alive, but was suffering unspeakable agony. So in the end Carlisle did the only merciful thing he could and ended the pregnancy."

Bella rolled away from Jacob when she finished her horrific tale and curled up into a ball. She closed her eyes and blocked him out when he called her name.

A/N-thanks for reading!