The bars were thick, dark iron, cold to his hands as he grasped them, desperately trying to see through, searching for any sign of light in the darkness beyond the cell. He could hear the wailing of other men: tortured, hopeless bastards who were going to die soon. But that wasn't how it was for him.

No, he could only wait and hope for the sweet release of death, because from now until the end of time, this room, this tiny ten by eight foot room with a latrine that reeked of piss and a cot that was lumpy, the lightless space, the dingy corners…this was his home. He'd always be here. Forget Kate, forget Jack and everyone else. He'd never see anyone ever again.

A booming thunder of laughter broke over the wailing and gnashing of teeth; it was loud and cruel, reveling in the pain, savoring every moment of agony and sorrow.

Hudson.

"James."

The voice startled him and he jumped, rolled over with a moan to see Christian Shephard kneeling beside his bed.

Sawyer sighed, "Whad'ya doin' here, boss?"

"Rise and shine, kid, it's been two days. Time to be get back on the case."

"Oh right. The case." He flopped back on the pillow. "How could I forget?"

"It's no secret that you're a somewhat careless individual."

He was right about that. Sawyer touched his face. It felt sort of swollen and bruised, but it probably wasn't nearly as bad as it had been two days ago. The taste of blood was still strong in his mouth; it seemed like no matter what he ate or drank it was always prominent.

"What time is it?"

"Early. No more time for idle chatter, now, get up, get dressed, and meet Loveless and I down in the lobby in fifteen minutes." Christian got up and turned for the door.

"Lovie." Sawyer snorted. He didn't feel like seeing Nicholas Loveless ever again.

"You'll be working with him until further notice, so you'd better lose that attitude. Fifteen minutes, James."

The door shut quietly and Sawyer sighed again. The two days off had been nice. Or they would have been, if his face hadn't felt like it was about to fall off the whole time. No more time to rest though; he had to get up and go downstairs in fifteen minutes or else face more consequences. There was no way out of it so he may as well get started.

Sawyer went in to take a quick shower, caught a glimpse of his bruised face as he passed the mirror and grimaced. He picked some relatively casual clothes that wouldn't draw attention to him, picked up his sunglasses and wallet off the living room coffee table and headed for the door.

Christian and Loveless were down in the lobby as promised, standing off to the side, nonchalantly. Christian had on a white dress shirt and some black slacks, but Loveless was wearing a full-blown monkey suit, and his sunglasses were in place. He averted his eyes when Sawyer came down the stairs.

Christian smiled, "Good morning, James; I'm glad to see you're on time."

"Ya' know I wouldn't dream of bein' late for my first day back on the job, Hutch. So what's th' plan for th' day?"
Before speaking, Christian looked around the room, making sure they were the only ones there, and even then he spoke in code. Sawyer, you and Nick are going to go visit some friends today."

"Doctor Shephard and his wife?" Sawyer asked casually.

"That's right. Now, I realized the doctor doesn't have work today or tomorrow; as long as they're together, you two are together. Got it?"

"Ah, sir," Loveless raised his hand a little, "doesn't Austen-I mean, er, Mrs. Shephard have to drop little Aaron off at daycare?"

"Not on a day off, but if she does happen to take him, you'll go with her, won't you, Nick? And Sawyer will stay and keep Doctor Shephard company while you're gone."

"My pleasure." Sawyer muttered. Following Jack around all day was not his idea of a fun time.

"Great. You guys know how to get there, don't you?"

"I have it written down." Loveless assured.

"Then go ahead and get going. I'll drop by myself later tonight to say hello."

"Well won't that be fun."

Christian glared a little at Sawyer, but the con man ignored it, "See ya' later boss." Then he led the way out of the apartment building and walked toward his car. "Well, Lovie, should we take separate cars?"

"No."

"No? What if Mrs. Shephard has ta' take Little Aaron ta' daycare? How ya' gonna' go with her if we only have one car?"

"I'll explain on the way over." Loveless got in the passenger's side, and Sawyer climbed in too. Not long after, they were on their way.

For the first ten minutes of the ride, Loveless busied himself looking in the dash and behind the seat, checking every nook of the car he could get his finger into.

At first Sawyer ignored it, but after a while he snapped, "What th' hell ya' doing? Sit still."

"Checking for bugs."

"My car ain't bugged. Now what about the two car issue. Said ya'd explain it, so get on it."

Finally Loveless sat still, said simply, "So, I guess Christian bought the house across the street from Dr. Shephard. He says we're free to use his car."

Sawyer thought about that a moment. That was pretty elaborate, buying a house just so the two of them would have a headquarters and a back up vehicle for their observation. Not a bad idea though.

Loveless took out a crumpled piece of paper, "By the way, the address is-"

"Ya' think I'm an idiot, Love? I followed Jack around with Rosa all last week—I know where he lives."

"Right. Sorry." Loveless turned a vague shade of pink and stuffed the paper back into his pocket.

"Shit. How'd I get stuck with the green horn anyway? Just what was Shephard thinking, stickin' me with the rookie?"

"I guess we're short on men. He and Muff have something else they're working on."

"Boy, wouldn't I love ta' know what that is."

For a few more minutes, they drove in silence, and then Loveless dared to ask, "Sir?"

"Yeah, what?"

"You…you know Austen, don't you?"

Sawyer's heart froze up a little at hearing those words. How had he figured it out? Was it that obvious or was Loveless just a lot smarter than he seemed? Maybe this was why Shephard had put them together. He never would have paired the rookie with a man as unreliable as Sawyer unless he had to. But if Loveless was the only agent other than Muff who knew the truth that meant he would be the perfect candidate to work with him.

Loveless obviously took the silence as a bad sign, "I'm-I'm sorry, Sir. I didn't mean to bring that up so casually. I mean, I don't know what she was to you or is to you or anything, it's just that the other day, when we were talking about her, you had that look on your face, and then you broke the rules to bring her a donut…it just didn't make sense to me, so I-"

"Shaddup, Loveless." Sawyer pushed his sunglasses on and kept driving.

"Yes. Sorry, Sir." Loveless hung his head a little.

Noisey kid. How someone like Nicholas Loveless had gotten into the CIA was beyond Sawyer, but it wasn't his place to question.

Jack felt unrealistically tired as he sat down to breakfast. The house was peaceful and the neighborhood was quiet, the weather was nice, but he felt uneasy, and as he looked across the table at Kate, he saw that she was feeling the same way. It had been two days since the CIA had released them, and Jack hadn't heard from Christian or Sawyer, and he hadn't seen any sign of them or any other agents. He hoped that the whole episode was over, and at the same time, he was worried about Sawyer. He had resolved to not tell Kate about what Christian had said about Sawyer being punished because he didn't want her to worry, but he had told her some things, like how his father was really alive and how they weren't supposed to tell anyone-not even their closest friends-about the episode.

So far they'd done a pretty good job of that. Jack's mother had come around the day after they'd gotten home, acting worried and asking questions, but Jack had managed to dodge most of them and make up answers for the rest, and now she seemed satisfied. The whole thing was over, and she was excited for the wedding.

Jack wondered if Kate was still excited. She hadn't been herself for the last few days. That probably had to do with seeing Sawyer again. It didn't necessarily mean she still had feelings for the Con artist though, did it? He didn't want to believe that, not after how tightly she'd held onto him.

"Good morning." Kate said, trying to smile. It didn't look very convincing.

"Hey."

"You sleep all right?"

He nodded even though he hadn't really. He'd been too worried and too unsure to get any rest. There were so many questions he had, so many things that hadn't been answered. It was frustrating that Christian hadn't been able to tell him anything. Now he might never get those answers. And of course there was now the question of Sawyer. Was he okay? Was he alive? Just what exactly was the nature of his involvement with the CIA? Christian had said it was more complicated than just discharging him, but what did that mean exactly? How could Jack find the answers he needed?

"Jack?"
He looked up at her again.

She was twisting her hair around one finger and biting her lips, and by all accounts looked nervous, "There's something I want to talk to you about."

Jack barely suppressed a sigh, and then took a sip of orange juice. "All right, what is it?"

"I-I don't want you to feel like this is coming out of the blue, because it's not. I've been thinking about it a lot for the last few days, and…and I think we should postpone the wedding."

He shouldn't have been surprised, but he couldn't help it. That was out of the blue. Maybe not for her, but it definitely was for him. Suddenly the orange juice didn't taste very good, and he got up to dump it down the sink, leaned against the counter for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts.

"I'm sorry, Jack."

"This is about him. Isn't it?"

"No. It's not like that."

"Then what is it like?"

"Jack, don't. I know that you're jealous of Sawyer, and you always have been, but it's not like every time I see him it reawakens feelings or something. I'm not leaving you. I just want to postpone the wedding."

"Why, Kate?"

"Because," she took a deep breath, "I'm not sure I'm ready."

He spun around. What did that mean? "You think you're not ready? A few nights ago you said-"

"I know what I said, but I think I was wrong."

None of this was making sense. Why would she suddenly feel like she wasn't ready? How could she say she was completely ready a few days ago, on the night of their engagement party, and then, less than a week before their wedding say that she didn't think she was ready? And yet she claimed it had nothing to do with Sawyer.

Jack could barely keep his anger under control. Why did it seem like every time he had Kate Sawyer came back to take her away? And now Sawyer was even spending every day with Jack's own father. Jack could help feeling like he was getting shafted.

"When are you going to pick between us, Kate?"

"Pick between you? I don't-"

"You know what I'm talking about! First it's me and then it's him, and then it's me again, and now it's him! I want to know when you're going to make up your mind and choose one of us!"
"I already told you—this isn't about him, Jack."

"Then what is it about? You told me you're ready!"

"Look, we both just had a really traumatic experience—Sawyer shot and killed that woman, and then we were held against our will all night. How can you blame me if I say I don't feel totally up to walking down the aisle?"

"The wedding is five days away, Kate, are you telling me you won't be ready in five days?"

"I don't know if I will be or not. But this isn't just about me, Jack," Kate brushed some hair aside and then got up as well. She folded her arms and walked over to the fridge like she was going to get something out, but then she just stood there, studying the pictures that were hanging on the door. "I…I'm worried about you, Jack. I don't know if you're ready either."

"No, believe me, Kate, I am."

"You think you are, but Jack," she turned to him, eyes earnest and compassionate, "you just found out that your father's alive when you went for the last five years thinking he was dead. On top of that, he's working for the CIA now, on a case that apparently involves you or me, or maybe even both of us."

"I don't see what that has to do with getting married."

Kate shook her head, "It's a lot to take in, Jack. I just think that maybe you and I need to sort through some things before we get married. It's inconvenient, I know, but I think it's for the best."

He studied her sternly, trying to decide if he really believed all that. "All right, so I'm supposed to figure out whether or not I can cope with my father coming back to life. What is it exactly that you need to sort out?"

Kate seemed strangely hurt by the question, "Jack, don't you trust me?"

"I don't know, Kate, you have a bad habit of running between us."

"Maybe. But that doesn't mean I'm going to leave you for him."

"I just wish I knew what you are going to do."

"I'm not going to do anything."

"Don't lie to me, Kate!" Jack snapped. "When was the last time you were able to just do nothing? You can never just sit and do nothing and let other people handle it—you've always got to be involved!"

"And what's so wrong with that?"

"It's dangerous, that's what! I don't understand why you always have to get involved with these kinds of things!"
"Jack-"

"Admit it, Kate, you still have feelings for him—you still love him!"

Kate's temper seemed to break at last, and she shouted, "I'm worried about him, Jack!"

That stopped him. Why hadn't he thought of that? Why had he just jumped to the conclusion that she was going to run off with Sawyer?"

"He was in trouble when we left—I just want to know he's okay!"

Jack lowered his voice, "Why didn't you just say so?"

She glared, "I don't have to explain everything to you."

"Yeah, but-"

"You don't trust me, do you?"
"Kate, I do."

"No. You think I'm going to leave you, that I'm always lying to you. You don't trust me, and that's how I know that we aren't ready to get married yet." With that, she stormed out of the kitchen, hair swinging back and forth as she walked.

Jack tried to call her back, but to no avail. He sighed and sank down at the table again, feeling ashamed for getting on her case like that. It had been uncalled for.

Then again, he'd been under a lot of stress lately. It only made sense that he was a little cranky. What he needed was some exercise or something. Anything that could take his mind off all these problems.

After a few minutes, Jack got up to retrieve his work out gear. He'd go to the gym and burn a few hours, try to get things straight in his mind.

Hopefully Kate would still be here when he got home and they'd be able to talk.

Sawyer studied the house from down the street. It had been quiet all morning, not a sound in or out. It looked like the average, middle-class American home. Jack's brown bronco sat next to Kate's small, silver car like they belonged together. They really were living together, lying beside each other at night, holding one another, making love. It was enough to make him feel sick from jealousy. They were living a happy, fairy tale life and he was just trying to survive without getting shoved in some prison cell for the rest of his life. He rubbed his black eye again, remembering Hudson's cold, cruel voice.

"Uh, sir?"
Irritated, Sawyer looked at Loveless, "What is it now? Don't tell me ya' gotta' take a piss again?"

Loveless' face flushed, "What? No sir, nothing like that."

"Then what is it, dammit?" He returned his attention to the house. Watching over Jack and Kate was a lot more important than listening to some damn kid.

"I-I just wanted to apologize."

"Oh, yeah? For what?"

"For what happened to you. I feel…like it was all my fault."

Sawyer didn't answer. He knew that what had happened was really his own fault, but if Loveless wanted to go on thinking it was because of him, he had no reason to stop him. He was a little resentful that the young agent had called Hudson, but that had been his own fault too.

"I didn't know what they were going to do to you—I was just doing my job."

"And if ya' had known?"

"Sir?"
"If ya' had known what Hudson was gonna' do would ya' still have called him?"

"No. Of course not. I would have called Agent Shephard…we all know he's in charge of this case…it's just that you told me Hudson-"

"Had ta' make ya' listen to me somehow."

Loveless didn't seem to know how to respond to that. He was quiet for a long time before murmuring, "Well…at any rate, sir-"
"Quit callin' me sir."

"At any rate…I'm sorry."

"Yeah, yeah, just forget about it, kid."

"I really had no idea what he was going to do to you."

"Got it. Right."

"But you do have to admit, it wasn't right for you to trick me like that."

"Nope. Guess not."

"I mean, you knew you had strict orders to stay away from Austen. I don't understand why you-"

"Nick," Sawyer spun around and faced Loveless, "one more word about it an' my fist goes in your eye and you're gonna' hafta' find yourself some replacement, secret agent glasses, got it?"

Loveless recoiled a little, but he was smiling slightly, "Right. Sorry."

"Whatever, just shut up."

Sawyer looked back at the house. There seemed to be some movement near the front door now. It looked like someone was getting into the coat closet. He lifted his binoculars and saw Jack pull out a blue gym bag.

"Your really a tough guy." Loveless commented.

"An' your really a chatterbox."

Jack went through the bag hurriedly, and then he turned around, walking right for the front door.

"I don't mean to talk a lot. I just-"

"Get outta' the car."

"What?"

"I said get out of the car."

"But why? Do I really talk that much?"

"Look, Paulie, Shephard's about to leave the house, now I gotta' follow him and you gotta' stick around an' watch Austen, so get the hell," he reached over and pushed the passenger door open, shoved Loveless out onto the sidewalk, "out of the car."

Loveless landed hard on the concrete, but regardless, he got up smoothly and walked into the cover of some bushes on the front lawn of the house Christian had bought for the operation. It was sort of a run down old place. The grass was too tall and the bushes were thick. Jack wouldn't see him if he was careful.

A split second later, Jack came out, dressed in a gray t-shirt and some athletic shorts. He unlocked his car and tossed the bag in the back seat. A moment later, he was tooling down the street.

Sawyer followed.

Jack went to the gym pretty often, so even if Sawyer got separated from him he'd know where to find him. But just for good measure, he stayed close-just a few cars behind-and stayed alert. For all he knew, the Doc had changed gyms or something.

As it turned out though, it was the same gym Jack had been going to for the last few weeks. He parked near the back of the parking lot so he had to walk a ways. Sawyer circled the lot once just to look like he belonged there. Then he parked a few rows away from Jack, got out, and followed. He wouldn't go into the gym, naturally. That would be foolish. Instead he'd go into the café next door and pick a good vantage point to watch from. A place where he'd be able to see Jack's car, but Jack wouldn't be able to see him.

It was all too easy.

It was a bright, crisp morning. Perfect for working out. Jack would spend a few hours here at the gym, then maybe grab some lunch at the café next door, then he'd go home to Kate and see if her moved had improved. If all went well, they should be able to talk all this out without getting into a big argument. They hadn't had an argument for a while, and it would be nice if this too could be resolved without violence.

Jack appreciated the walk up to the gym. It was good to feel the sun on his back and the breeze on his face. The place looked pretty empty for a Saturday. Normally there were a lot of people at the gym, but today it seemed like no one was there. He saw a black car with very darkly tinted windows circle around the lot then go and park not too far from his bronco. He heard the car door, but he didn't bother to see who was driving the car. It wasn't anyone he knew. He'd purposely picked a gym where he didn't know any of the members so he could work out rather than socialize.

There were soft footsteps behind him. At least he wouldn't be the only person in the gym. Even though he didn't necessarily want to socialize, it always felt awkward to be in the gym all alone.

Jack was just a few hundred yards from the door when he heard the screeching of tires, and the same black car drove up and stopped right in front of him, so close that he almost ran into it.

The window rolled down a little and Jack was staring at a face he knew very well.

"Get in!"

"What are you doing-"

"No time, Jack! Get in!"

"Sayid, I don't-"

"There's a man following you!"

Jack glanced over his shoulder; there was someone there, a man, but he couldn't make out much else about them. Still, with the strange things that had been going on lately, he wasn't sure he could afford to ignore Sayid's warning. He opened the rear, driver's side door, and got in.

Sayid slammed the accelerator, and before Jack was even strapped in, peeled out, and sped away.

Hello again,

Sorry this took so long to get done. My brother came to visit me for the week and so I was entertaining him and couldn't get much writing done. Next week's chapter should be on time. Thanks for all your patience.

Suta-17