A/N: You guys sure second guess me a lot. That's part of the fun of having it done and seeing how many different directions I could have taken it. If you're looking for 'i hate Sarah' moments - you're reading the wrong fic.

This chapter sets up the remainder of the story. Read it carefully so you won't have to go back once you're on chapter 429.

And thanks to all of you 'in the know'. It really helped.

APR

A Slip of the Tongue
Chapter 6

October slipped into November and the first snows fell. Chuck and Maureen occasionally went to dinner 'publically' together and Liam insisted on Chuck coming for Thanksgiving dinner. He knew that he was 'married' and separated but he also knew his daughter was attracted to the tall teacher and he wanted her 'married and settled' before he totally lost his marbles.

Maureen and Chuck were a hot topic for the gossips but soon someone else caught their attention and left them alone. They spent a lot of nights watching movies at his place or fooling around in the kitchen or at her place, especially if her dad had had a 'bad day'.

Maureen was pushing him to have sex and he was holding out because of his 'cover' marriage. She said he was stupid to ignore what they felt for each other and what they both wanted more and more every time they were together.

"If she doesn't come back, then what? And if she does and she's still The Bitch, you're just punishing yourself, baby. It's not like we'd be the only people in Eden having sex 'outside of marriage'. I want this, Chuck, please don't make me beg."

"Maureen, this is so wrong on so many levels." He started ticking them off his fingers, one by one.

"One: If bad guys find me they'll kill whoever's with me to cover their tracks and take me. What if it's you? I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you because of me."

She hadn't thought of that. That was a valid point. She also had to consider her dad's situation.

"Two: Sarah is my 'wife', I know it's in 'name only' but it's legal and more importantly, she's counting on me to support the cover. There's more to this than meets the eye. Don't ask, because I can't tell you."

"Three: Maureen, I really like you. If I didn't have – if things were normal, I'd be on you like white on rice but things aren't normal. What future could we possibly have together knowing that the government could decide that 'good old Chuck' costs too much or is no longer needed or…well, you get the idea. It's just not something I would do. I'm sorry. Yeah, I have feelings for you. You're beautiful and fun and smart and caring. I can't put you into my life without guarantees I'll have a life and no one will give me a guarantee."

That was the last time he let himself get in that position. He limited their dates to public dinners or football games or school events, eventually to none at all, not even the Saturday morning coffee stop. He couldn't answer her questions and he had discovered that he actually missed The Bitch although he thought of her as 'Sarah' or Agent Walker.

Sarah Walker was the connection with his old life – the only one he had. He didn't analyze the 'why' of it, he just accepted it just like everything else in his life since getting that damned email from Larkin.

Casey finally cornered him at the bar where he had his occasional beer and talked to him like an older brother.

"Chuck, Eden is the last stop for you. If you're going to settle in, then settle down. Beckman would 'give you a divorce' if you just asked for it. She feels that you've adapted to the cover but still can be effective in the field. Walker's a basket case and getting serious treatment."

"She's a dedicated agent, Casey. Both you and Beckman will be surprised. She's made of sterner stuff than blonde hair and a beautiful body. You'll see. She'll be back and I need to stay in the cover. I won't cheat on my government-issued wife, Casey. It's just wrong. She'll need a safe place for a while and I'm going to provide it. I can't do that if I'm boinking broads all over Eden, can I? She doesn't need another betrayal in her life – even if it's just an over-indulged asset in the cover."

Casey shook his head and left him alone after that. He'd done all he could do with the moron. His 'ethics' were skewed too far into the light when he lived in the twilight. Some day he'd pay a price for them.

Maureen had told him straight up that she wanted to 'slip away for a week' and she wanted him to go with her. She had reserved a condo in Cancun with him in mind. He told her 'No' and that was almost the last straw for them.

"Fine. Just don't come crawling to me when she guts you and leaves you the 'world's only living heart donor'. I know you have feelings for me, Chuck, and I respect your sense of duty and honor but change the scene and put her in your shoes. Would she even think twice if that idiot from the bar had the condo? Damn you, Carmichael, I know it's not your fault but I'm falling in love with you and you're too damned noble to see that she's going to be the death of you some day."

December 21
Carmichael Residence
Eden, Missouri

It was starting to snow and it looked like it might stick. A white Christmas was something Chuck had only seen in the movies or on TV. It didn't snow that often in Burbank.

Chuck got home from school late. He'd been tutoring a group of students for the AP exams and it was already dark when he drove out of the school parking lot. He only had a few more days until Christmas break and he was mulling over what to do with two free weeks. Unlike so many others, he dreaded the solitude and isolation his 'vacation' meant.

He toyed with the idea of taking Maureen up on her week in Cancun and was probably going to call her before much longer. He was lonely. She wanted to be with him and she came with a hell of a lot less baggage than his wife. It was Christmas and he was alone. He decided to call Maureen and say 'yes'.

He unlocked the front door but froze. It was already unlocked and he knew he'd double-checked the doors when he left. It was a ritual with him.

He walked quietly off the porch and out to the shed where he worked on his baby and rummaged around and found Sarah's backup piece that she'd left in the nightstand drawer. Checking for the millionth time that it was loaded, he went up the steps to the back porch and opened the screen door and unlocked the back door and slipped quietly inside.

Chuck took out his phone and speed dialed Casey and said 'Code Black, residence' and hung up. Common sense told him to run away and hide until Casey and the over-watch team showed up but he was already in the house and by God no one was pushing him around anymore.

He heard someone tossing his bedroom and slipped off his shoes and walked as silently as possible down the hallway from the kitchen to the bedroom checking the bathroom and the spare bedroom for anyone who might be in there.

He was scared but determined. It was a damned good thing he'd used the teacher's restroom before leaving school or he might have been leaving a yellow trail marking his passage.

Chuck stopped outside the bedroom and squatted down, cringing when his knees popped. Whoever was in the bedroom stopped what they were doing and began walking towards the door. He was ready for anyone but –

"Sarah?" He almost dropped his pistol in shock.

"Chuck? You scared me. I didn't hear you come in. Where are your shoes? And why the pistol – oh, you thought…" Whatever she was going to say was lost when the front and kitchen doors crashed open and four heavily armed agents in tactical gear converged on them.

"Carmichael, I'm Flynn, senior agent on over-watch. So this is your intruder? You did the right thing in calling in the code but you absolutely fucked up by not withdrawing and letting us handle any intruders. Remember that in the future."

They were gone as quickly as they'd come and Chuck set the safety on the pistol and handed it to Walker.

"It's your's. You left it in the nightstand drawer. I moved it to the shed since that's where I spend most of my off hours. Are you picking up your stuff and heading off to another assignment or are you back?"

"Which answer will make you happier, Chuck?" She looked at him and saw loneliness and fear in his eyes. She couldn't ever remember seeing him afraid, not this kind of fear.

"Surprise me, Agent Walker. Tell me the truth." He hadn't meant to sound so cold and lifeless but he was still getting over the shock of seeing her and almost killing her. He had put pressure on the trigger and had felt it slowly pull back. It had been a near thing.

"It's Carmichael, not Walker, Chuck. Let me finish getting changed. There's fresh coffee in the kitchen. The place looks nice, Chuck. You've added some things and it looks nice."

He knew he wouldn't get a straight answer from her. He wasn't surprised. She was a spy. They never told the truth straight out. Everything was predicated on 'need to know'. Well, damn it, he needed to know.

"I'll be in the kitchen. All your stuff is clean. Most of it's still in cleaner bags. I just left things as they were except for the pistol. That should make packing simple."

Sarah watched him turn away and leave her alone. 'He's changed' was her first thought. 'I wonder why?' was her second. She finished dressing and headed for the kitchen and her - husband.

She stopped dead in her tracks when her mind threw his last comment back in front of her 'awareness'. That should make packing simple.

"Chuck, I'm not going to be packing. I'm unpacking. I'm back but there are conditions. I can't carry a firearm yet so you'll have to keep this popgun. You should have one on you or near you at all times." She handed him the 9mm Beretta after making sure the safety was on.

"OK. What conditions?" As expected, she hadn't answered his question.

"The General is worried about you, Chuck. You're the main game in town now. Hell, you're the only game in town. 2.0 blew up and killed Graham and a bunch of programmers. We report to the General now. There's no elimination order in your future, Chuck, so you can relax."

"OK. That's good news but I'm sorry about Graham. What conditions, Agent Walker?"

"I have a mandatory daily therapy session online with my NSA counselor." She was ashamed to tell him, afraid he'd think less of her. She sighed at his use of 'Walker'.

"What conditions?" She still hadn't answered his question. So she needed therapy and doing it online made sense considering where they were.

"I have to make the cover work. If I can't, I'm gone. No second chances. I've used them all up. I'll be a civilian and a security risk." She didn't elaborate on that. He had enough on his plate now without adding her woes to his.

"Those are the conditions? No gun, mandatory counseling and you work the cover? Those are the conditions?"

"Yeah. So, which answer do you want to hear to your original question?"

"I've missed you more than I thought I would. Does that surprise you?"

Her answer was a whispered "Yeah, it does, all things considered."

"They wouldn't let me see you after the raid. No one would tell me a damned thing other than 'she's alive'. I'm just an asset and had no 'need to know'. I'm sorry about Bryce. I'm sorry for your sake. I won't miss him. I'm not saying that to hurt you, Sarah, and I have no illusions about how you feel about me. I'll try and be as accommodating as possible and I'll work hard on the cover. I know how much your career means to you."

He blurted it all out, glad she was back but uncertain about her. 'Why would they send an unarmed agent to watch over a critical intelligence asset? Was coming back here part of her mandatory counseling?'

"You were there? Why?" She would handle his other comments later.

"I connected some dots, identified some players and then the Combine sent in a special unit and I was in the command vehicle coordinating stuff and then I had to identify the dead and the prisoners."

"Oh. So you know about me then. Does it make a difference?" Maybe this wouldn't be as difficult as she'd feared.

"I told you they wouldn't let me see you and no one told me diddly squat about your condition. It was like beating my head against a brick wall. All they'd say was 'she's being cared for'. I was so damned frustrated."

"Someday I'll tell you but not now. Please, just accept the fact that I'm back and it's permanent. I won't let you down, Chuck. I promise. Just be a little patient with me and don't ask questions about therapy or what happened. I promise I'll tell you but I can't – not right now."

"OK. It's really none of my business anyway. I was just worried about you, that's all."

"Did you mean what you said before, Chuck, about missing me?"

"Yeah. I meant it."

"I'm glad. I'm glad to be home, too. I missed this place, believe it or not. And I missed you from time to time. Does that surprise you?" She'd unwittingly used the same phrase he'd used.

"Yeah, it does." He whispered his answer. It seemed appropriate somehow.

"Good. Now, is there anything to eat or have you been living on fast food and take out?"

Their first night back 'together' was strained. Sarah had spent an unusually long time in the bathroom and Chuck was tempted to check on her but figured she needed her space and privacy. He was propped up against the headboard correcting papers and recording grades when Sarah finally emerged from the bathroom.

She was wearing sleep pants and a t-shirt and had put her hair up into a sleep bun. She slipped into bed and rolled over on her side and watched him correct papers and she had to smile. It was so normal and comfortable. It was safe.

"Does the light bother you? I can go out to the kitchen and finish up these few tests."

"No. I like it on. Just keep doing your thing, Mr. Carmichael. You seem so intense and yet relaxed. How's school going? How'd you handle the mission and school?"

"Maureen's the principal and my contact. She's in the loop and is my contact at school. Getting away was no problem. I've run one op since then and so far the school is fine with my absences. The substitute they bring in for me is a retired teacher and knows the sciences so it's no problem."

"Maureen?" One eyebrow was raised but he didn't notice it.

"Dr. Moran. We've gone to dinner a couple…of…times…" Shit. How would he explain this to Agent Walker – Agent Carmichael – his wife. And how would he tell Maureen that his wife was back? Oh shit, oh dear, he was so dead.

"Chuck – "

"Sarah, let me explain before you kill me, OK? You were gone and Beckman said to use the 'trial separation' for public consumption. She wouldn't tell me anything about your condition and gave me no hint if you might return. Hell, I'm not apologizing for wanting someone in my life who – who – "

"Someone 'who' what, Chuck?"

"Never mind. It's not important. I'll finish these few up in the morning. Wake me if you need anything, OK? Anything at all."

"Can you please leave the light on, just for tonight? I have to get used to all the house sounds all over again."

"Of course. No problem. I usually fall asleep with it on anyway."

"Good night, Chuck."

"Night, Sarah."

She couldn't sleep. He wouldn't finish his sentence and she'd spent hours completing it for him. She was exhausted and finally fell asleep.

Chuck hadn't slept much either. He should have finished his damned sentence and then it would be out there on the table for them to discuss. But he hadn't. She probably wouldn't have wanted to discuss it anyway.

APR