A/N: Thank you for the kind feedback on the last chapter! I really appreciate hearing what you think. Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it. And thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

"She's stirring." Addison motions toward Vivian, who's lying in the hospital bed with her eyes closed. "She's waking up."

Derek halfheartedly looks over. Addison has insisted that she has seen Vivian move at least five times over the past hour—and each time she has been wrong—which communicates loud and clear that Addison is worried.

It doesn't matter that Addison is a doctor who watches people come off anesthesia several times a day. In this situation, she's not a doctor. She's a person who's very concerned about her mentor.

He, of course, is straddling the line—one foot in both camps. He's a medical professional and Vivian is his patient. But he also deeply cares for Vivian—which is why he looks every time Addison claims that Vivian is waking up.

But to his surprise, this time Addison is right. Vivian is stirring.

"Vivian," he says gently as her eyes begin to open. "Vivian, do you know where you are?" he asks when he sees she's struggling to orient herself.

"Uh, ah …" Vivian's eyes widen in panic when she finds herself unable to form words.

"It's okay," Derek says quickly. "Take your time. You just had major surgery."

"Surgery?" Vivian slurs, her voice drowsy.

"Yeah." Derek breathes a sigh of relief. Vivian is able to speak. Not clearly, but she can form words. "You had brain surgery," Derek repeats. "And it went very well."

Vivian looks at him in confusion. "What?"

"Vivian, do you know where you are?" Addison asks. And Derek can't help detecting the quiver in her voice.

Vivian looks at Addison intently, as though she's trying to place her.

"Tired," Vivian mumbles, her voice muffled.

"Go back to sleep, Vivian," Derek says reassuringly. "We can try talking again later."

But Vivian doesn't hear Derek. She's already fast asleep.

Addison turns to Derek, her eyes wide with panic.

"The brain is a complex and fascinating thing, Addison. Sometimes—"

"Spare me the talk you give to patients' families, Derek." She looks at him intently, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "She was so out of it."

"She just came off anesthesia."

"Yeah, but she had no idea where she was or who we were."

"Addison, you know that different people come off anesthesia differently."

She sighs. "I know. I just … I wasn't prepared for that."

"Neither was I."

She gives him a sad smile. "I just assumed she'd wake up and be her witty self." She looks from her mentor to Derek. "It's so hard to see her like this."

"I know," Derek agrees sadly. He mechanically gets out of his chair and before he can think about what he's doing, he's rubbing Addison's shoulders—just like he always did when she was stressed or upset.

She looks at him in confusion and he gives her a small smile.

When someone you love is this sick, rules don't exist.

"Do you … do you think she's going to come out of this okay?" Addison asks after a minute.

"Addie, Vivian has a very aggressive, fast-growing brain tumor. And while we got the main tumor—"

"That's not what I meant," Addison interrupts. "Do you think when she wakes up again, she'll be able to talk … and know where she is … and know who we are."

Derek sighs. "I hope so."

"Speak to me like a doctor, Derek," Addison pleads, her lip quivering.

Derek sighs. "Doctor to doctor … yes, I think she'll regain her speech and her memory. I think she woke up too soon. But I think the next time she wakes up, it'll be better."

Addison nods mutely. "Oh."

"But husband to wife …" Derek continues giving Addison a small smile. "Husband to wife … the next time Vivian wakes up, things better be better. Like … it's not an option."

Addison can't help chuckling, and Derek has to admit, it's nice to hear her laugh.

But she quickly grows serious.

"Derek, what if she's not okay? What if she wakes up and isn't the same?"

"I—"

"I'll never get to have another conversation with Vivian. We'll never be able to discuss medicine again." She swallows thickly. "I should have stayed with her."

"What?"

"Before her surgery, I left the room. But I should have stayed with her."

"Addison, no. There's nothing you should have done differently. There's—"

"I need a minute," she admits, her voice cracking. She stands up and quickly swipes at her eyes. Derek pays the courtesy of pretending not to notice she's brushing away tears.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

She shakes her head. "Stay with Vivian. If she wakes up, you should be here. And so should I. I just … I need a minute," she repeats making her way toward the door. "I'll be right back."

He watches her retreating form and sighs. He's conflicted. He wants to go after her. He should go after her. But she'll kill him if he does. Addison told him to stay with Vivian, and he knows she meant it.

And as he stands there sorting out his feelings, he can't help feeling more confused than ever. He has sort of forgotten what it's like to care about Addison. After all, he spent months acting indifferently toward her. But now, all he can think about is how she feels and what she wants.

And that's a problem. Because he's furious with her. He hasn't forgiven her, and he doesn't know if he ever plans to.

And yet, he can't stop thinking about her.

He also hasn't thought about Meredith romantically since Vivian was admitted. And yet he slept with Addison once and kissed her more times than he can count.

And, of course, she's on his mind non-stop.

He pinches the bridge of his nose and tries to think about something else—anything else. But it's no use. So he gives himself permission to think about Addison. It's inevitable, after all.

~ Flashback—warm nights ~

"Do you want to get out of here?"

Derek looks at his wife in surprise. "This is supposed to be a good networking opportunity for us." He gestures vaguely to the banquet hall they're standing in. It's filled with all the best and brightest doctors from around the world.

Addison shrugs. "I've talked to everyone I wanted to. Have you?"

"I guess. I just—"

"And it's not like we're planning to leave Mt. Sinai."

"And we're both the best in our respective fields," Derek points out with a smile.

Addison nods in agreement.

"That all makes sense," Derek concedes. "Still this banquet is a big deal in the medical community. Everyone who's anyone is here. Why do you want to leave?"

Addison shrugs. "We've been working so hard lately. And tonight I don't feel like being Dr. Shepherd."

"I, uh, I'm not sure I'm following."

Addison gives him a suggestive smile. "Tonight I want to be Mrs. Shepherd."

Derek feels his pulse quicken. "Well, that's convenient," he whispers, his warm breath tickling her ear. "Because tonight I want to be Mr. Shepherd." He smiles seductively. "Shall we take this back to our place, Mrs. Shepherd?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

They slide into the back seat of a cab in record time. Addison gives the cab driver their address.

And then her lips are on Derek's, kissing him heatedly. He responds in kind, pulling her toward him and running his fingers through her long hair as he kisses her deeply.

Dr. and Dr. Shepherd may not make out in the back of a cab. But Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd absolutely do.

It's a hot August night and Derek can feel perspiration—his and hers—beading on his skin as their kisses intensify. She dips her head back and he assaults her neck with kisses, making her gasp and driving him crazy.

Neither is aware of the cab driver who's clearing his throat uncomfortably, desperate to put an end to the sucking and light moaning sounds coming from the back of the cab.

They make it to the brownstone. He can't remember which of them paid the driver. But that quickly becomes an afterthought as they fumble through the hallways of their home, still kissing heatedly, unable to undress each other fast enough.

He pushes her up against a wall and she gasps in surprise. And for just a moment, he takes it all in. But she quickly pulls him toward her and his lips are back on hers, their bodies pressed together.

"I love you," she breathes, nipping at his neck.

He smiles broadly and kisses her deeply. "I adore you."

He means it too.

And as they lay in bed together—after more rounds between the sheets than he can count—he can't help thinking about him and Addison. He's immensely proud of everything they've accomplished in their professional lives—Dr. and Dr.

But on this warm August night, he has to admit nothing makes him happier than being Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd.

~ Almost left behind ~

He hadn't thought about that night in years. And he can't help smiling at the memories. He and Addison had done so much and accomplished so much together that sometimes it was easy to forget or take for granted all the smaller moments they shared.

All the smaller moments that when combined together became bigger, more significant moments.

He sighs. Things were simpler then.

Now things are anything but simple. And they've only become more complicated. Even the seemingly simple decision of whether he should stay with Vivian or go after Addison feels impossible.

In the end, he decides to stay with Vivian. It's what Addison would want. Still, he can't help worrying that she's hiding out somewhere in an on call room or a supply closet, crying—and alone.

xxxxx

She's looking for somewhere to escape to. She doesn't have an office, so that's not an option. And Derek's office could work, but it's far away and she's not sure how much longer she can keep her emotions in check.

One thing's for certain, she can't let herself cry—not in public, and certainly not here in front of these people who already don't respect her and think she's Satan.

She's trying to figure out her next move when a rough hand lands on her shoulder.

"Remember me?"

She turns and meets the woman's eyes. It's been years, but she remembers. Most doctors wouldn't. But she has never been most doctors.

~ I fall behind ~

"Okay, everything looks good. I'm going to close." Addison motions toward her resident, "Bryant, keep an eye on the fetal monitor." She glances over at the resident who's staring at her awestruck. "Bryant? Is everything alright?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah. Sorry, Dr. Shepherd. I just … I never saw an in utero surgery up close before. I mean, that baby didn't stand a chance, and now she does."

Addison smiles and begins to close the incision across the mother's abdomen. "That's the goal." She glances at the resident. "How's the baby's heart rate?"

"Normal."

"Good." She quickly glances at the fetal monitor to confirm this for herself and finishes closing the incision.

She scrubs out and is greeted by a round of accolades. The chief of surgery is there and is praising her good work. And her fellow attendings—even her rivals—are clearly impressed. Derek is also there, a look of pride and adoration clear on his face.

Of course the most meaningful compliments come from the expectant mother of Addison's unborn patient, who profusely thanks her for giving her baby the chance that no other doctor would.

It's this detail that Addison is sharing with Derek in the bar near the hospital, after work. It has been a long day and he had insisted on taking her out for a celebratory scotch.

"The baby still has a lot of issues ahead of her," Addison admits, sipping her drink. "Mobility impediments … developmental delays …"

"But you gave the baby a chance," Derek interrupts. "You performed a surgery that most doctors either aren't skilled enough or are too afraid to perform." He gives her a wide smile. "And I know you know this, but you did textbook work in there today."

Addison chuckles. "It doesn't hurt to hear it."

"You were amazing, Addison." He pulls her in and kisses her—slowly at first, but then more passionately.

"Derek," she scolds, pulling back in surprise. She's not above kissing her husband in bars, but this a regular after-work hangout for their colleagues. "Professionalism."

He laughs and kisses her deeply. "I don't care," he murmurs against her lips.

"I do."

"I know. But my wife is brilliant," he whispers as their lips reconnect. "And tonight I feel like bragging about that. So tonight," he whispers in between kisses, "let's throw professionalism out the window."

She's about to object. But with his lips on hers, there's not much of a point.

"Okay," she murmurs, pulling him closer and kissing him deeply. "I guess I'm okay with that."

~ The second hand unwinds ~

"Sean," Addison says, giving the woman a slight smile. "Sean Petrucci. What can I do for you?"

"Oh, you've already done enough," Sean says snidely.

"Excuse me?"

"Five years ago you operated on my daughter, Gwen."

"In utero," Addison nods. "I remember."

"Well, you clearly forgot to tell me that Gwen's life and my life would be a living hell every second of every day."

"I'm sorry? I'm not sure I'm foll—"

"Gwen was born with Spina Bifida. She's almost five years old. She can't walk. She can't even crawl. She's totally and completely confined to her wheelchair. When you told me you could save my baby, you failed to mention that she'd never be able to lead a normal life."

Addison shakes her head in disbelief. "You asked me to save your baby and I did. I did exactly what you wanted."

"Except you didn't give me the full story. Do you know how expensive it is to have a child with special needs?"

"I—"

"Of course you don't." Sean sighs in frustration. "Between the physical therapy and the medication … not to mention the constant stress … which became too much for my husband to handle … so, last month, he just up and left us." She looks at Addison hatefully. "How am I supposed to make ends meet?"

"Sean, I—"

"If you would have told me that Gwen's life would never be normal, I never would have gone through with the pregnancy. I would have terminated."

"But, I—"

"I'm not interested in what you have to say, Dr. Shepherd." She looks at Addison vindictively. "But hear me loud and clear, you can expect to hear from my lawyers."

A/N 2: I really liked Sean's storyline in the Private Practice episode. And for a while, I've wanted to somehow incorporate it into an Addek story. Derek's not quite the saint-of-a-man that Jake is, and I think he would react much differently (probably a lot less rationally). Plus, Derek was in Addison's life when she performed that surgery, which would give him a different perspective. And I'm interested in exploring all of this. Hope you are too!