Beyond the War
By TK Date

AN: I'd like to thank everyone who's been reviewing this story, especially Katie, Koyuki Aode, Angel Zero, and Ame-san. This chapter was actually completed the night after I finished Part 5. I wrote the whole chapter in bed at about 2am in the morning, so if it seems a bit odd there's your explination. Also, if anyone knows another spelling of Duke Dermail and the Romafeller Foundation that's different from the one I used, please tell me because I wasn't able to find a source that had official info on their names. And without further ado, the fic.

Oh and PS, I've rewritten the ending of the chapter so it's a lil bit weirder ^_~ Tell me what you think, okay?

Part Six

The silence was mounting. Duo could not take it any longer.

"Well?" he prompted his companion who hid himself in the shadows cast by the once great walls of an Alliance military base. "What are you doing here?" he asked simply.

Granted there were more important questions on his mind, and some were more pertinent to his current situation, but Duo didn't care. He just wanted one answer, and he wasn't about to give up until he got it. However, given Heero's current attitude, that was going to be slightly more difficult than he expected it to be.

So far the pilot had spoken only one word since their chance meeting on the streets of the city of Lenghu. Since then it had simply been a game of follow the leader as Heero made his way to his silent retreat. Oddly enough, Duo allowed him to make the transit an event without conversation.

Normally he would have been pestering the other teen to no end, or carrying out a conversation on his own. Both activities which normally only served to irritate Heero. But this time Duo sensed an aura of confusion about the other pilot. One that almost seemed to radiate a great big neon 'Do Not Disturb' sign.

It didn't help matters that the once acclaimed 'perfect soldier' had been found in an alley forced to tears by some sort of internal conflict. Needless to say, Duo kept his mouth shut, keeping his questions to himself and, in the process, deciding which ones he wanted answered first, and which ones were most likely so stupid that they would only earn him a few prize death glares.

Now, however, the time had come to obtain those answers. Whether Heero liked it or not, Duo was going to talk him out of whatever it was he was up to. He would even use force if necessary, but that was strictly a last ditch effort considering Heero's previously demonstrated ability to, simply put, kick Duo's ass.

The silence was growing too long once again. With an over exaggerated sigh Duo turned from examining the papers on Heero's makeshift table to facing the former pilot himself. With slow deliberate steps he moved in front of the other teen and dropped to one knee. The two were looking eye to eye, cobalt to shimmering azure.

"Listen Heero, I know you're not one to talk a lot, but I need you to answer my questions. You've got all four of us pilots in a mess looking for you, and that's not mentioning Noin, Sally, and Quatre's tendencies to be a worrywart. Plus Howard told me that Trowa and Wufei have both been sent out to kill you! What's going on here Heero?"

This time the silence was substantially shorter. Heero's indigo eyes refocused and, for the first time in a while, it looked as if his mind was really on the situation at hand.

"Trowa and Wufei aren't going to kill me," he stated firmly.

Heaving a sigh of relief Duo let himself drop down so that he was sitting cross-legged in front of Heero.

"That's a relief," he declared, letting his eyes wander about Heero's dwelling. Then he realized something. "Wait a second, how do you know they're not going to kill you?"

"They told me," came the simple response.

"Oh…well that makes sense," moments later the shock of the answer hit him, "You mean Trowa and Wufei know you're here?!"

"They've both been here, yes," the other teen stated with a slight nod of his head.

"Why am I always the last one to find these things out?" Duo muttered to himself before continuing at an audible volume, "So has anyone else been holding parties in your little shack of a home?"

Apparently these words brought about a painful recollection for Heero. Casting his eyes to the floor Duo heard an unmistakable hiss sounding intake of breath which could only mean that the other pilot was once again fighting a losing battle against his own tears. Turning back to him to braided teen firmly placed both his hands on the other pilot's shoulders. Heero did nothing to stop him as his body began to shake with barely contained sobs.

"What's wrong Heero? I just asked you who else has been here. Something like that can't be that bad, right?" It was obvious through Duo's tone of voice that he was worried. He hoped Heero noticed, and he hoped that Heero would respond to his concern in a positive way.

However, the Japanese boy only shook his head in response as he swallowed a lump in his throat. Bringing his own hand up to his face he wiped burning tears from azure eyes.

So far the entire display left Duo stunned. It was not like Heero to be this open with his emotions. It was also not like him to be that moved by just one person. The braided teen found himself afraid that someone had shaken the once great Heero Yuy, Gundam pilot, and had reduced him to naught but a mere boy, moved to tears by the mere mention of an encounter with this mysterious person. It wasn't something that should have ever been possible, yet the events unfolded right before his very eyes.

Silently he shook his head, almost in disgust. The only words he could muster came out as a soft whisper through his lips.

"Who did this to you?"

"Dorothy." Heero met Duo's eyes with his own as two contrasting yet similar shades of blue stared into each other. "Dorothy Catalonia," he finished as a faint strength shone in his bloodshot eyes.

His tears had since ceased to flow. Yet the way he sat against the wall and how he let his arms fall limp against his sides clearly showed the sadness his eyes refused to speak of.

Duo was glad that Heero had finally managed to face the truth of past events, but his cheer soon faded as he realized the name Heero had spoken was completely unfamiliar to him. Blinking his large sapphire eyes once he tilted his head in question.

"Who?"

"Dorothy Catalonia," Heero repeated himself then continued for Duo's clarification, "She's a relative of Duke Dermail from the Romafeller Foundation. I met her visiting the Cinq Kingdom back during the Eve Wars. She loved battles…and now she thinks that we shouldn't be experiencing this time of peace."

"So?" was Duo's automatic response. "Just because she thinks that stuff is true doesn't mean you have to listen to her. We fought hard to obtain this peace and I'll be damned if someone tries to disrupt it."

With those words Heero once again cast his eyes downward.

"Heero?" Duo asked, noticing his friend's change in posture.

"Is peace really worth it?"

The words were like a distant scent on the wind. They were noticed but only by the barest of margins. However, Heero spoke his next words with conviction.

"We've grown up living lives adapted to fighting. Even before Operation Meteor we were learning how to be soldiers. Throughout my life all I've done is fight countless battles, ended too many lives. Is there anything left for me? Am I…just supposed to disappear with this peace?"

His voce was filled with sorrow as he buried his face in his knees.

"Is my life that worthless?"

None of the words Duo said before seemed to have any effect. He knew he needed to help Heero but he didn't know how. Hesitantly he removed his hands from the other pilot's shoulders. The action went unnoticed by the other boy, just as it was not noticed when Duo moved and seated himself next to Heero. Then, in a comforting gesture, the braided teen put his arm about the anguished pilot's shoulders. As soon as Heero looked up to discern why this had happened Duo began to speak.

"Look," he started before the other teen could say anything, "I don't know what that Catalonia girl told you, or what's going on between you, Trowa, and Wufei, but I know one thing for sure. You are not worthless. Even if it's a time of peace that doesn't mean that you aren't a person, right? And I have yet to meet a person who I've deemed as worthless."

Duo's words sank in as Heero turned his gaze away from the other teen. His mouth opened the exact moment the braided pilot continued.

"You may think a lot of stuff about how the era of peace we've reached leaves you with nothing or…" Duo found that for once his own words failed him. Pushing his own conflicts aside he spoke again, "Or about how can we really enjoy peace with so much blood staining our hands. But I've go one thing to show you that's going to make you think of it in a totally different way."

"What's that?" Heero asked without hesitation.

With a grin on his face, the braided pilot reached into the pocket of his won blue jeans and pulled out a wrinkled picture which he passed to his companion.

"Look," he instructed.

Heero teen rose, moving into the light that broke through the hole in his impromptu roof. The picture was of a group of children, some who were still toddlers, other in their preschool years. They were in a field, the sun was casting light on the already bright smiles that shone on their faces. It was a picture that could easily be considered the definition of happiness, something Heero had never truly achieved in his life.

After staring at the picture for a moment Heero turned to Duo, only to see that the other pilot had risen from his position on the floor and was now moving towards the Japanese teen.

"Those," he answered the unspoken question as he glanced over Heero's shoulder at the picture, "are war orphans. Their parents fought and died in the Eve Wars. Some of them were probably killed by us."

That came as a shock to Heero. He was about to speak again when Duo interrupted his thoughts.

"The reason peace is worth it is because they aren't going to grow up in wartime. And their children aren't going to have to be orphans like they are."

For a moment Heero remained silent as he contemplated both Duo's words and the picture before him. However, not all of his doubt was dispelled. Something about this did not compare with the war Dorothy told him of. And still, this simple reason gave his life no purpose.

"What about me?" he turned to face the other pilot.

"What are you talking about?" Duo asked with a look of confusion on his face.

"What sort of life am I supposed to lead in this peace time?" he asked with conviction.

"Well, I supposed you could probably find a job if it's that important - "

Duo's words were cut off as Heero continued, his eyes ablaze with the fire of some unknown emotion.

"The new war doesn't destroy life like you think it does, Duo. It creates purpose. It gives soldiers a battlefield so that they have a place to belong. There is a necessary conflict that human beings need to experience and I will create that war!"

Shocked, Duo slowly moved away from the bizarre display that Heero was making. However, the other pilot noticed this and began advancing on him.

Now visibly nervous the braided teen tried to talk the other pilot down.

"Heero…just what the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't you get it, Duo? Can't you see it?" He grinned, and it was the grin of a madman, "I'm a killer, a soldier, a warrior…call it what you want they all mean the same thing. I can't do anything unless I'm fighting. Those are the only skills I have…" Slowly his eyes looked down to his trembling hands as he clenched them into fists. "That's the only thing I can do right!"

Duo was fed up. He wasn't going to listen to his friend spout this sort of nonsense! Not a word of it was true.

"Heero that's nothing more than a damn lie and you know it!"

"How would you know?" the other teen hissed. Before Duo knew it there was a strong hand gripping his throat and holding him against the wall. "You don't know anything about me! You don't know my past, my thoughts, or my feelings! How the hell do you think you can tell me whether or not I'm lying or not?!"

His voice strained from the force being applied to his vocal chords Duo managed to suck in enough breath to speak. "It's because…you're…"

"My friend?" the other finished his sentence.

For a moment the two of them locked eyes as neither moved. Then Heero let go. As Duo leaned against the wall, trying to catch his breath, the other pilot laughed. His laughter betrayed the state of his mind. The conflict had slowly deteriorated every scrap of his common sense and sanity. With too many different reasons for taking too many different actions, Heero had lost all semblance of the person he once was. He was no longer a Gundam pilot fighting for peace, he was a deranged warrior driven to the brink by living a life without purpose.

Now having caught his breath, Duo slowly tried to make his way out the door. However, Heero's senses were heightened due to his recent rush of adrenaline brought on by both the laughter and confrontation. His head snapped up as his face was once again covered in a mask devoid of any emotions.

"Listen…Heero…" Duo started, his unease audible in his voice.

However, his words were cut off as a fist connected with his abdomen. Letting out a groan of pain Duo sank to the dirt floor, bordering on unconsciousness.

As Heero looked down upon the body of the one who considering him a friend his eyes softened momentarily. Placing the picture in the other teen's hand he turned to face the door.

"Take care of them, Duo. Maybe they won't end up as we did." With that he left.