Song Inspiration: Realize - Colbie Caillat
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"Dad!" Christopher yelled, hopping down the steps and waving his arms as Derek helped Meredith with her bag. "Is that her?" he screeched as he ran through the slushy winter puddles, his boots sending the slush flying, he didn't have a coat on. A young woman stepped onto the porch, calling after him with his coat in her hands.
"Hey, bud," Derek replied as the little boy wrapped his arms around his father's legs. "This is Meredith. Mer, this is my son Christopher."
"Well, hello Christopher," Meredith cooed, bending down to his eye level, shooting Derek a wary glance as she noticed the woman on the porch. She gave the little boy a high five, and he eagerly slapped her hand in return. He reached out to give her a hug, instantly bonding with his father's wife.
"You can call me Chris, Meri," he said honestly, looking up to her, his eyes shining. She smiled down at him, unsure of what to say as she stood, an awkward silence surrounding the trio.
"Let's get inside, bud," Derek said, if only to fill the awkward silence. He couldn't help but notice that his son had taken to Meredith right away, whereas with his fiancée, it had taken him a few months to warm up to her. He shook his head as Chris took Meredith's hand in his and led her back to the house.
XX
The first thing Meredith noticed about Derek's house was that Christmas paraphernalia covered nearly every inch of available space in the log cabin-esque home Derek had built on his property in Seattle. Thick garlands and twinkling lights covered each railing and banister; mistletoe hung from the archway that connected the living room with the kitchen. A large Christmas village – complete with miniature people, animals and a real working train – took up a large portion of the great room. But the most prevalent thing of all was perhaps the large Christmas tree that was on display near the fireplace in the family room. Hundreds of ornaments, twinkling lights, cranberry and popcorn garlands and candy canes covered each and every branch of the tree that was easily ten feet tall.
"Wow," Meredith sighed as she kicked her boots off.
"Isn't it awesome?" Chris asked her excitedly, kicking his own boots off in much the same fashion as his … stepmother … did. "Daddy and me; we did it. All by ourselves."
"You did an awesome job, Chris," Meredith smiled. "Hi," she said, extending her right hand to the woman that had been on the porch. The woman smiled as she stepped forward, shaking Meredith's hand softly. "I'm Meredith Shepherd," Meredith smirked, rolling her eyes slightly. "And you must be the woman who's going to marry my husband."
"Addison," the woman replied, her voice tense and high pitched.
"It's nice to meet you," Meredith said as Derek closed the door behind him, setting Meredith's bag down.
"You too," she said shortly. "I made hot chocolate, Derek," she added, turning and walking out of the room, back toward the kitchen. "Christopher? Can you come help me?"
The little boy nodded eagerly, finally releasing Meredith's left hand as he skipped into the kitchen, sliding slightly on the wooden floors in his socks.
"Aw, what's a matta, Derek?" Meredith smirked. "The fiancée is less than thrilled to meet your wife?"
"Will you just chill?" he replied, running his fingers through his damp hair. "She's sensitive about the issue," he shrugged.
"Aww, boo hoo," she teased as he led the way into the living room. "She's pretty, Derek. What does she do?"
"She's a doctor, too. Obstetrics and gynecology, neonatology," he rattled off. "Damn good geneticist, too."
"She's your age?
"A few years older," Derek replied as he sat down on the opposite end of the couch from Meredith.
"Oh," she said, raising an eyebrow. "Cougar? Me-oww," she teased.
"Will you please…?" Derek begged.
"I'll be on my best behavior, Derek," she grinned, giving him a wink as she sat back against the couch. He gave her a sideways glance and she smirked in response, her cheeks blushing slightly.
"Don't make me regret bringing you out here, Meredith," he teased, turning his attention to Addison as she carried a tray with four mugs of hot cocoa into the living room. Chris held a plate filled with Christmas cookies and he stood still behind Addison, waiting for further instructions. Meredith noticed how much he looked like his father – wavy brown hair, the same toothy grin, the same almost-dimple on his cheek. His eyes, though, were a deep sparkly brown… must be like his mother's.
As Addison handed out the mugs, an awkward silence consumed the four of them. Chris set the plate down on the coffee table and hopped on to the couch, sitting in between Meredith and Derek.
"Sorry to have to bring you back from your vacation," Addison said awkwardly as she sat down on the loveseat. "But thank you, for coming, to do this…"
"No problem," Meredith replied, taking a sip of the hot chocolate. She smiled at Chris, a trace of chocolate on her top lip. The little boy smiled and followed suit, making sure to leave some of the beverage on his upper lip. He gave Meredith a lopsided grin. "We match, bud!" she said with a small laugh as Addison and Derek exchanged a look.
"We do!" he grinned, giving Meredith another high five.
XX
After an hour or so of awkward conversation, Christopher fell asleep on the couch, and he slouched over, resting his head on Meredith's shoulder. Addison had noticeably shut down as Meredith made herself comfortable as Meredith and Derek reminisced about their time in Vegas. Meredith had some questions she wanted to ask Derek, but she didn't want to ask them in front of Addison.
"Well, I think I'm going to bed," Addison stated, standing up from her position on the loveseat. She leaned over the couch and gave Derek a needy, lingering kiss. "Do you want me to take Christopher upstairs?" she whispered.
"No, he's fine," Derek replied, "unless Meredith's uncomfortable…"
"Please," Meredith teased. "The kid weighs twenty pounds."
"Ok, then," Addison mumbled. "I'll be upstairs. Good night, Meredith. It was nice to meet you. Derek…?"
"I'll be up in a bit," he replied.
"Nice to meet you too," Meredith said cheerfully, watching as Addison climbed up the stairs to the bedroom. Meredith and Derek were silent until they heard the door click shut, and the water in the master bathroom turn on. "Ya wanna know what I think?"
"Not really," Derek sighed, a smile playing on his lips.
"She's… ok… She's kind of old. She's got that whole wide-eyed, 'ooh! His wife is HOT' thing going on, but she's nice enough," Meredith shrugged, her voice an amused whisper. "Is that what you were going for? The anti-Meredith?"
"Meredith," he sighed, covering Chris with a blanket. The little boy snuggled closer to Meredith, and she wrapped her arm protectively around him, placing a gentle kiss on his head.
"He's a good boy," she remarked. "Very cute, seems smart. Must be just like his daddy. He still has his baby cheeks… how old is he now?"
"He'll be seven next July."
"Awww," she cooed. "Does he like Addison? She doesn't seem like she'd be the kids kind, you know, very kid friendly, or whatever," Meredith added, noticing the scowl Derek was giving her.
"Will you just lay off?" Derek argued weakly, secretly amused by Meredith's opinions on Addison.
"I'm just doing my wifely duties," she teased, "you know, the nagging wife," she giggled. "I'm sorry Derek."
"I'm sorry too," he said honestly. "I should have… could have called. I would have never known what to say to you. 'Hey, remember me! I'm your husband… yeah, Vegas...'"
"Seriously," she laughed. "What did you do with the money, Derek?" Meredith asked as the little boy let out a big yawn, and a tiny snore escaped him. "He really is just like his daddy!"
"Shush," he smirked, his eyes dancing in the lights from the Christmas tree. "The money," Derek smirked. "That's in a separate bank account, earning interest."
"You didn't spend it?"
"Babe," he said softly, "that money is ours. I couldn't just spend it."
And awkward silence surrounded them as the fire in the fireplace crackled. Derek shifted uncomfortably in his seat, unsure of what to say. Meredith sat there and stared at him, working up the nerve to ask him the questions she had for him.
"Derek?" she whispered a long five minutes later.
"Meredith?"
"Why did you… I mean… when we were playing that game, you know, in Vegas. Why was that… proposal your question?" she whispered. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I guess, but I just… I've always wondered."
"Do you remember what I told you about my relationship with Kim?" he whispered, his voice cracking slightly.
~*~*~*~*~
"Here's to being dark and twisty," Meredith offered, clinking her beer glass with his. "To being dark and twisty," he smiled weakly. "How old is your son?" she asked politely, sipping on the drink, watching as the sparkle return to his eyes. "He'll be two in a month. I know, I know; we were really young when we got married and had him. Hell, I'm only twenty-six right now, Meredith, but… Kim was my best friend. She was just one of those girls where you just [i]knew. "Until next Wednesday," she replied, her cheeks blushing slightly. "Would you like to go out to dinner tomorrow?" he asked. "We can grab something to eat, go to a show, try your luck at Craps – for real next time," Derek winked, wrapping his left arm around her shoulders, pulling her in for a quick hug. "I would love to go out with you tomorrow, Derek," Meredith said softly. "I'll pick you up at seven," he replied, a shy smile lighting on his lips. "Would you like me to walk you back to the hotel?" "Yes, please," she whispered. In that moment, he leaned over and kissed her, surprising her slightly, but that didn't stop her from returning the kiss. It was slow and gentle, not forced at all – unlike each and every kiss she had ever shared with Mark. He broke away gently, placing another quick kiss on her lips before standing and offering his hand to her. She pulled her coat on and grabbed his hand, giggling slightly and glad she found someone to share her first evening in Las Vegas with.
~*~*~*~*~
"I remember," Meredith nodded after a moment, smiling slightly. "So you really thought…"
"You could have been," Derek shrugged. "That's the thing with going with your gut, you know. You could be right, or you can be wrong. It's black and white, there are no gray areas."
"I'm sorry that I left," Meredith whispered, her eyes inexplicably filling with tears. "I'm sorry that we made a mistake."
"I never said that," Derek replied softly. "There are things we could have done differently, sure, but I just think that the timing was against us," he sighed, and a wave of sadness washed over Meredith. "I should probably get him to bed," he said a beat later, filling another silence that surrounded them.
"Good idea," Meredith replied as a tear trickled down her cheek. She swiped it quickly, hoping that Derek didn't notice, but she knew he probably had. He stood up slowly and bent down to pick the little boy up from his spot on the couch. Meredith's heart skipped a beat as Derek touched her hip on accident.
"There's a guest bedroom… right next to Christopher's," Derek said softly, his lips inches away from Meredith's. "I'll turn the light on for you and put your things up there."
"You don't have to," she countered, not leaving her spot on the couch as Derek turned away from her, the little boy snuggled against his father's chest. She shook her head as he scooped her bag up and made his way up the stairs, waiting until she was sure that Derek had reached his own bedroom to let more tears fall.
God damn it.
She was falling for him – all over again.
XX
Colbie Caillat - Realize V1: Take time to realize, But I can't spell it out for you, C: If you just realize what I just realized, V2: Take time to realize But I can't spell it out for you, C: If you just realized what I just realized V3: It's not always the same C: If you just realize what I just realized If you just realize what I just realized OoOoOOo missed out on each other now
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.
Oh-oh I'm on your side
didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by
Didn't I tell you
no it's never gonna be that simple
no I can't spell it out for you.
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.
no it's never the same
if you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
Just realize what I just realized
missed out on each other now