Akatsuki's Arachnophobia 06
When everything goes wrong
III
'I never would have thought the great Akatsuki leader would fall to the hands of tiny spiders. They are-' Kakuzu's thought were suddenly interrupted. There in front of him laid his pious and also slightly moronic partner. Saliva was spewing from his mouth. His purple orbed eyes stared daggers at Kakuzu. Itachi was perched on his partner's back, keeping the Jashinist's arms bonded together with his. In another he held a feather and tickled it back and forth against Hidan's exposed neck. Hidan- believing the feather to be another insect-was screaming at the top of his lungs. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and walked around the two.
"Idiots." The miser said under his breath as he slammed his bedroom door behind him.
"Kaaakkkuuuzzuuuu." Hidan cried.
"You're boyfriends not going to help you fool!" Itachi hissed as he continued to torment the pious man.
"F-fuck you!" Hidan's face turned red from the Uchiha's cruel comment.
III
Deidara had found himself in his room wallowing in sadness after the orange haired art hating jerk had taken away his chemical protection suit. Not only had he lost his 10000 Ryo customs, but also lost the remainder of the tiny bit of dignity he had left. The blonde arsonist held his forehead in the palm of his hands as he stared down at his floor. Ideas on how to eliminate the Arachnids without any explosions, chemical gasses, and or any other methods that may involve the death of any other members started to dig into his mind. Large catastrophes were his forte, not silent and deadly assassinations. They weren't expressive or artistic in any way, shape, or form.
Suddenly, a devious plan began to form in his mind. It was a last resort idea, but he was desperate, he had nothing left. His suit, spear, and exploding clay were all confiscated by his leader. "Maybe it could work! There's a twenty percent chance that I'm capable of pulling this off, but then again, the other eighty percent…an artist needs to expand their horizons"
Just then, the blonde's less then artistic partner had walked in to the room. The masked man took notice of his partner and took a seat next to him. "Is Deidara sempai sad?"
Tobi asked while he affectionately petted him on the head. Deidara removed his head from his hands and glared at the masked man, "I'm not 'sad', Tobi un."
"Oh really?" Tobi leaned in. His masked face was touching against Deidara's. This was slowly starting to piss the Iwa Nin off, "I think you're in denial!"
"I hope you die a slow and painful death…"
"Ahhhhh, Deidara sempai, if you have nothing good to say then don't say anything at all, hehe." The artist stood up from his bed and left the swirly faced man to himself.
"Deeeiiiddaaarrraaa semmmpaaaiii, don't leave Tobi here by himself."
"Shut up." An irritated Deidara said in return as he walked out into the hallway.
"Hey, hey, hey, where ya going Sempai?"
"None of your business!" Deidara snapped as he raced down the steps and past the living room. Finally he was standing in front of his partner's old workshop. It had been months since he last been inside. He excitedly jiggled the rusted door knob open and walked in.
"Sempai!" Tobi gasped, "That's master Saso-
"Fine I'll tell what I'm going to do. I'm going to make a spider killing solution with some of the materials Sasori no Danna left in his workshop, un." Deidara said with a large smile on his face just before slamming the door behind him. Tobi's Uchiha personality had come out. Angrily, the masked man had grabbed onto the door knob. He tried twisting it but it didn't budge.
'Son of a bitch.' The inner Madara thought to himself before letting go of the knob, 'I swear he'll kill us all.'
III
On the other side of the Akatsuki base, Konan was slowly growing impatient. She hadn't seen her partner since that morning and her memory of Deidara breaking her wall and watching her sing in her hair brush had returned, and on top of all that, there was an infestation in the Akatsuki base.
Konan squeezed her juice box and her O.J. had sprayed into Kisame's face.
"'The hell!" Kisame growled as he walked away. Not caring, Konan stood up from her seat and climbed up the spiraled stair case and approached her partner's office. She knocked twice, and no one answered.
Angry, Konan kicked the door off its hinges and found Pein sitting in the corner of his office. Konan's eyebrows went up when she spotted the giant white tank beside him. In his hands, he held the hose connected to the tank. "Is that a flame thrower?"
"Yes." Pein replied as he slapped his forehead. Konan closed her mouth approached him and ripped the tank away from him. Pein moaned as Konan opened the window and used one of her paper jutsu's to secure the tank and let it slowly float to the solid ground below.
Pein slapped himself. Konan didn't say anything. Instead, she sneered as she grabbed Pein by the collar of his cloak and dragged him to his feet.
"Get a hold of yourself Pein!"
"You don't know what it's like Konan!" Pein cried.
Konan rolled her eyes as she kicked the auburn haired man out of his office and locked his office door before pushing the key into her bra, "Go help the other member's exterminate the arachnids."
And with that the konoichi left.
"You're a horrible person!" The auburn haired man said to himself as he headed to the kitchen. Maybe he could find a bottle of Windex as a replacement for Deidara's-now dubbed as his- flame thrower.
III
Even after an hours time, both Itachi and Hidan were still fighting. Eventually, Hidan had gotten away from the crazed Uchiha and decided that it was his turn to form some sort of revenge. With a bowl of earth worms, freshly dug from outside, the Jashinist had begun to chase the poor Uchiha around, threatening to drop them in his pants. And Itachi knew Hidan had the guts to do it.
Anyways, the Uchiha had eventually gotten away from the Jashinist's wrath and hide himself somewhere deep in the Akatsuki's bases underground cellar. Eventually, after around twenty minutes or so, the Uchiha began to grow a bit hungry. Realizing he hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch that day due to the constant tormenting of the other members, Itachi had given into his stomach's demands. But, before that he had come up with a pretty clever idea before leaving his hiding spot. With his genjutsu, Itachi had focused his chakra, created a hand sign and poof.
His body had transformed.
Admiring his newly red polish nails, Itachi felt his face for piercings and smiled a satisfied smile. Itachi left his hiding spot and headed towards the kitchen.
Transforming into his leader seemed like a very good idea to him. The man's appearance was fairly rare. The last time Itachi could remember seeing him was when he was scolding his blonde savior for running around the base half naked. So the chances of walking into him seemed almost ridiculous. But…then again, Itachi hadn't known about the leader's partner kicking him out of his office.
Itachi had just made it to the living room. He had discovered the Jashinist sitting on the couch stuffing his face with popcorn, and Itachi felt a smile play along his thin lips as he analyzed Hidan. He was completely open! The Uchiha then decided that revenge was worth more then food, and so, in Pein's body, Itachi reached over the seat and took the earth worms from Hidan and dumped them on his head.
"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL PEIN!" Hidan screeched as Itachi tried his best not to giggle.
"That's what you get when you mess with an Uchiha!" Itachi cackled as he ran out of the room, hoping to find another hiding spot. Hidan fallowed furiously behind him cussing out profanities. Unfortunately, Hidan didn't posses the speed the Uchiha had and decided to return to watching his movie, despite the worms wriggling in his popcorn. Hidan began to plot his revenge.
He has to come back eventually…
III
And Hidan was right, Itachi with the transformation jutsu had returned, but it wasn't actually Itachi…and it wasn't a transformation jutsu…
III
A/N: Something really bad is going to happen to Pein in the next chapter. This chapter kind of shows him snapping a bit, but next chapter *shakes head*
I can feel Pein's Pain now…
& what on earth is out blonde terrorist up to now? Will Zetsu be able to gather his 'friends' in order to save everyone from the giant catastrophe our blonde might create? Stay tuned.
Thanks for reading J
(Sorry it took to long, I've had two projects and three Essay to work for the past month and four days, (next chapter will be out soon, I promise.)