Chapter 5

The Conversation at the Coffee Cart

Booth sipped at his cup of coffee, soaking up the warm May sunshine. He loved this time of year in Washington D.C., with the weather finally losing it's winter coolness and the cherry blossoms coming out all around the city. But even the great weather and the beauty of his surroundings couldn't brighten his mood.

Crossing his legs, he made sure his jeans covered the ankle monitor that was strapped just above his anklebone, humiliated that he even had to wear it in the first place. He wasn't a criminal, damn it; he was a veteran who served his country honorably in two wars and an FBI Agent with one of the best close rates in the Bureau. The fact that they were even considering him as a suspect in this case was an insult. Hacker was lucky he wasn't the D.C. sniper because if he was, taking him out seemed like a logical next step.

Sitting here at the coffee cart, he didn't miss the irony of the situation he was presented with. About a year ago, he told Bones they would meet at the coffee cart when they both got back from their respective other jobs. Only that meeting didn't happen, not yet at least. Since they had both gotten back early, things had been so backwards. He couldn't help but think that the universe was punishing them for getting back early and if they had taken the time they needed apart from each other, things would have been better when they got back. But instead, they were in this rut, where they couldn't talk to each other and he couldn't read her like he used to. He couldn't stop the small smile that spread across his face, thinking Bones would call him crazy for saying that but he didn't think she could deny that something was different. That's why he was here today; he was in over his head and he needed his best friend to help him get out.

Hannah was angry when he called her this morning, demanding to know where he was all night. He couldn't tell her about the FBI investigation; he couldn't have her thinking that he was a criminal. No, he needed to talk to the woman who knew him better than anyone else did, someone who wouldn't ask him to get into the mind of another sniper.

"Booth? You okay?"

He almost jumped off the bench at her statement, not hearing her approach, wondering where his supposedly great sniper skills went. "Bones! Sorry, I didn't hear you coming," he said, scooting over to make room for her. She sat down on the bench cautiously, and Booth was worried that she was scared of him, that she thought he could actually be capable of this. Calm down, he told himself; this is Bones you're talking about.

"I got you some coffee," he said, thrusting the cup at her. "I got it how you like it; no sugar with a little bit of milk, or at least how you used to like it. It's been awhile since we have had coffee together."

She didn't say anything and he started to squirm, hoping she wasn't angry with him. He looked around, hoping that she would say something soon. Hannah already wasn't talking to him but for some reason, the thought of Bones not talking to him hurt even more his girlfriend's current anger.

"The first sniper victim is Karrina Adams," she finally said.

"What?" he said, not quite believing what she told him. This couldn't be happening. His ears started ringing, and suddenly he was completely deaf to the world around him. His vision started to narrow and he put his head in his heads, resting his elbows on his knees, convinced he was going to pass out. Just when the world was spinning precariously off its axis, he felt her touch his back, placing her hand right in the center and lightly rubbing back and forth, anchoring him to this bench and more importantly, to her.

"Bones, you know I didn't do this right? I couldn't do this. My cosmic balance sheet was already messed up enough this last time I went back, I couldn't come back here and continue to up the ante against me, I just couldn't," he said in a rush, unaware his voice was rising and he was attracting the attention of passerby's around them. But in that instant, as he looked deep into her cerulean eyes for any doubt, there was nothing more important to him than her belief in him, her belief that he was not capable of this. But how could she think you're innocent, he asked, looking at the discoloration of the skin around one of her eyes, knowing that he made it that way.

She applied her touch more firmly, trying to communicate her presence to him in a way that he might understand in his frenzied state. She had to stop herself from asking the one question she wanted to and reassure him before he lost it.

"Booth, it's okay. I don't think that you did this. Actually, I know you didn't do this. Even if all the evidence pointed straight toward you, I would not believe it."

As he looked into her eyes and saw the truth of her statement, saw her absolute belief in him; he could finally breath again, feeling as though he came back to himself. And suddenly, all the feelings of comfort and security he felt when he was around Hannah were dwarfed by her simple assurance; that she would throw away every rational piece of scientific evidence because of her faith in him. How had he ever forgotten about this feeling, the familiar feeling of the strength of their bond?

"Thanks, Bones. It means a lot to me that you would say that. Have you and the squint squad discovered anything yet that leads these people directly to me?" he asked, feeling like the ankle bracelet that was tracking his every move tightened even though he knew that was impossible. He felt her hand tightened against his back before she removed it completely, folding them together in her lap.

"Booth, I can't talk about the case with you, not while you're still a suspect. If Agent Perotta found out I was here right now… I'm lucky she hasn't forbidden me from working on the case thus far."

Booth sighed, knowing it was unfair of him to ask that question. "Sorry, Bones. I guess I'm just so used to working cases together that it just slipped out. I'll be more careful, I promise."

"We haven't done that, for a while; talk about cases together, I mean. Usually, you just want to see the paperwork."

He winced at her statement but didn't refute it, knowing it was true. They sat there for a minute, Booth not knowing what to say next and half hoping she would put her hand on his back again. He envied the people around them, bustling about their daily lives, not having to wear jeans in the nice weather to hide the ankle bracelet strapped to their legs.

"Booth, where was Hannah last night, when you were at the Bureau? I would have thought she would have been the first person there to support you through this."

For the briefest of seconds, he thought about lying to her, telling her that Hannah was out of town on a case or that the FBI didn't let members of the Washington Press Corp into the Bureau; but this was Bones. She was horrible at reading people, but she could read him like a book and she would know in a second that he was lying. And after all the faith she had put in him these past couple of months even though he had not been the partner she needed, she deserved his honesty. A look of disappointment in her eyes would be his undoing.

"I didn't tell her," he mumbled, right as a large bus went by.

"What was that, Booth? I didn't hear you," she asked, scooting closer to him on the bench, so close that their shoulders were touching. He leaned back against the bench, unconsciously seeking her touch even if it was involuntary.

"I didn't tell her," he repeated, this time clearly, as if deciding it was finally time to let his best friend know about the his sham relationship with his girlfriend.

"Booth, you mean to tell me that you didn't tell your girlfriend that you were being investigated for sniping two people? Don't you think she is going to ask about the ankle bracelet?" she asked incredulously after a minute of silence.

"I didn't think that far ahead and I never thought the FBI would actually think I was a legitimate suspect. She was in the shower when I left and I wrote her a note saying I got a break on a case and had to work late. It's happened before, there was no reason as to why she should believe any differently," he said, realizing how ridiculous his reasoning sounded now that he said it aloud.

"But Booth, why couldn't you tell her? You didn't have any problem calling me in the middle of the night last night."

"She doesn't know anything, Bones, she can't know anything. I was so scared that if she ever found anything out about me, if she could see the true me, she would leave me. And she was the only thing that made sense to me when I got back here." He paused for a moment, knowing the next part of his story would hurt her but also knowing that he needed to lay everything out on the table right now, to clear the air.

"When I met her in Afghanistan, I was so deep into my assignment out there that being with her took the edge off, a better, different sort of adrenaline rush. I think at first we were both just wasting time, which there is a lot of in that environment. But she made me feel wanted and invincible, which, quite frankly, was a feeling I hadn't experienced since you turned me down that night after we left Sweets' office. And it's a feeling I needed out there just to survive. But after a while, it wasn't just fun anymore, it was like I needed her, I needed the way she made me feel."

"Well that makes sense, Booth; you have an addictive personality. Your father and Jared are alcoholics and you are a gambler. Even with your strength of character, it is very hard to overcome your genetic predisposition."

"Bones, I just told you that I needed to have sex with her in order to feel like I could function and your telling me that you understand? Simple as that?" he asked. Surely, it couldn't be this simple. He knew that he hurt her and he knew that she had to be angry.

He watched her struggle for a moment and knew that she was trying to compartmentalize her real feelings, which was the last thing he wanted. "Bones, I want to hear it, okay? While it is not fun for either of us to have this conversation, we need to clear the air. Wouldn't you agree?"

He watched her bite her lip and nod. Waiting as patiently as he could for her response, he realized that he hadn't had that itching feeling he was accustomed to in the last several months since last night. This might have been the longest stretch of time since he met Hannah that he didn't feel like he needed her, needed to loss himself in her.

"What you're telling me rationalizes some of your behavior since you have gotten back. If you really do feel that 'itching' as you describe it, those are probably some signs of withdrawal. Addicts traditionally will do anything to avoid feeling that, no matter what the cost to their friends or family. And since I'm one of your closest friends, I have felt hurt and pain at your addictive behavior. But every time you ditched me or said something hurtful, I knew it wasn't you, Booth. I was just waiting for the rational explanation," she finished as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"I appreciate your faith in me, Bones. I just…everything has been so upside down recently. I've felt like Hannah has been my only tie to sanity, but I don't feel like that anymore. I feel like in the last hour, sitting here and talking to you, the world has begun to right itself again," he told her, looking back into her eyes again and humbled to see the same confidence in them when she looked back at him.

"Booth, you said that you don't think that Hannah can provide that same feeling anymore. Why?"

He shouldn't have been surprised that she remembered his statement but he wasn't sure he wanted to talk about this yet. Clean slate, he kept telling himself. She deserves this.

"Hannah got assigned to report on the D.C. sniper case," he said, pausing when he felt her tense beside him. "She was so excited when she came home last night. I know she has been feeling bored lately, missing all the excitement of her past field jobs, which in turn made me feel guilty because I felt like I was trapping her here. She said last night that the only reason her editor gave her the case was that she convinced him that she could get the personal side of the story, because of me. Last night, she asked me if I could get inside this guy's head, give her some insight into what he is thinking."

"Booth, you can't do that," she said forcefully, surprising him with her tone. "Maybe you should talk to Sweets about this when he gets back. He might be able to help you," she told him, her uncertainty coloring her tone.

Didn't she know what she was doing for him right now? he thought. No, of course she didn't, he never told her. As he looked at her now, he felt the stirrings of the old feelings of affection he had for her. They were soothing and familiar, like the complete antithesis of the adrenaline rush, the release that he felt when he was around his girlfriend. And while both feelings helped him, helped him forget, this one also allowed him to think clearly.

"Bones, you are exactly what I need right now. I know I have hurt you and I know that I don't deserve your trust but I have no idea what to do next. How can I go back and face my girlfriend now? What if she leaves after I tell her everything, about my childhood, about my gambling, about…you," he finished softly. He got up and started to pace, needing something to do.

"Booth," her voice stopped him in his tracks and he looked down at her, still seated on the bench. "Do you remember when Kirby was after my brother and my dad and we found all that blood in my apartment?"

He nodded, not quite sure where she was going was with her question.

"Do you want to cash in on our agreement?"

Now he was really confused. "Bones, I have no idea what you're talking about," he admitted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"In the car, you said that if you were ever scared, you would hug me. You look scared. Do you want a 'guy hug'?" she finally asked and he couldn't help but laugh at her question. When his laugh elicited a flinch from her though, he quickly amended his statement.

"Bones, I think that is just about the best idea I have ever heard," he told her, uncrossing his arms and accepting her when she stepped into them and wrapped her arms around his neck. He sighed as he felt her step closer to him and tighten her arms around him, seemingly needing the comfort as much as he did. They stayed like this for just a moment but it was enough for the both of them, enough to reaffirm that they were back on the right track again; back on the road to being the partners and best friends they used to be. When they stepped back, they stood for a moment, just gazing at each other.

"Well, Bones, I think you have a case to solve," he said, breaking the tension.

"That's right; I have an innocent man's name to clear," she added. He smiled at her, so grateful to have her on his side.

"Thanks, Bones," he whispered, just loud enough for her to hear it. He watched as she started to walk away from her.

"Oh, Booth, one more thing," she said as she took a couple of steps back towards him. "I know I'm not really good with people but you've always told me to trust my gut, even though I've repeatedly told you that a digestive organ is incapable of thought. Maybe you should do the same when you think about what you want Hannah to know about you, about your past, and about us."

He considered what she said and he was so thankful for her, so thankful that there was someone out there who knew him better than he knew himself to point him back on the right track. "That sounds like good advice, Bones. I'll call you later. Thanks again for meeting me, you have no idea how much it helped."

"It helped me too, Booth, a lot." And with that, she turned and walked out of the park, out in the direction of the Jeffersonian.

Without him realizing it again, it was late afternoon and he was shocked to find that he had been talking to Bones for two hours. Heading back to his place, he started thinking about how he was going to tell his girlfriend about everything, every little thing about his life.

From 400 yards away, on the top of one of the many sky rises over looking the reflecting pool, a man pulled back from the lens of his sniper rifle, having just observed the interaction between the man and the woman sitting by the coffee cart. He was surprised that the man hadn't lost his temper with this woman, like he had with so many in the past. They had even hugged at the end of their conversation. No, he thought, she would not be the next one. He would have no reason to want her dead.

As the man was packing up his gear though, dismantling his rifle and placing it in the briefcase he carried around with him, he was not worried. He knew it would only be a matter of time before he found his next victim.

A/N: Happy Bones Day, everyone! I hope you enjoy the episode tonight. My only request is that if you are awesome enough to leave a review, please don't say anything about tonight's episode in said review. I have to work tonight and won't be able to watch it until tomorrow at the earliest. Bummer, I know, but thanks for reading and please let me know what you think.