Chapter 6 - Too much feels
Bella POV
I am currently sitting on Rosalie's lap eating up the feast that's been placed here for me on this beautiful marble bench top. As I happily indulged in all the home cooking that Esme expertly crafted for me, I reflected on how exactly I ended up here in this position.
Earlier today
After eating a very satisfying brunch provided by Rosalie, we ended up spending the rest of the day sorting out all the shopping goods me and Charlie bought yesterday. The kitchen was now fully equipped, and my bedroom was starting to look more homely. Rosalie noticed that my pantry was now well stocked, but the fridge was practically empty. Given how much I eat, she suggested we go for a grocery trip to Fork's local supermarket after eating dinner somewhere. I told Charlie our plans, and invited him to join us, but Charlie told us that a few of his good friends had ordered me some welcome home gifts online, so he will just order pizza later while he waits for the deliveries. Surprised by this news, and not really knowing how to respond to such generosity from strangers, I told Charlie to please relay my appreciation to his friends, and my promise to thank them in person when the chance arises.
As we were getting ready to head out, I noticed Rosalie had placed all my newly purchased clothes, towels, and beddings in a large suitcase.
"Hey, Rosalie, where are you taking all my clothes and beddings?" I asked her.
"They need to be washed before you use them, so I'm taking it all with us. I have a large tumble dryer at my house, so we can wash and dry them while we're having dinner and doing grocery shopping." Rosalie explained.
"That sounds like a great idea, but are you sure your family won't mind?" I asked slightly uneasy with the thought of imposing on the Cullen family.
"Of course not! I've already texted Esme earlier on. I bet Alice would just love to sort through all your new purchases, and Esme will be thrilled to see you again when we drop by." Rosalie reassured me.
"Thanks. I look forward to seeing them again too." I replied with a shy smile.
After loading the suitcase into Rosalie's very fancy looking red SUV, we bid Charlie goodbye and headed towards Rosalie's home. The drive was very thrilling. Rosalie drove like a pro, zooming confidently through a long majestically vivid scenic route all the way to her house.
From what I remember in the book, I knew their house was going to be located in the middle of nowhere, but it recall whether it mentioned just how beautiful the view surrounding their house was. There were gigantic ancient trees standing strong all throughout the forest. When Rosalie rolled the car to a stop in front of their large modern double story house, I got out of the car and immediately ran over to where I could see a very very tall and wide western hemlock tree. It was so beautiful! I put my arms around it, hugging myself against its trunk, and inhaled the refreshing forest scent deeply. There was always something so serene and soothing about being near such ancient trees. As I closed my eyes just enjoying the moment with the tree, I could hear a few voices in the distance laughing and giggling.
"What are you doing Bella?" Rosalie asked with a humorous laugh, as she stood next to me, brushing some hair out of my face.
"Just soaking in the beauty that is this ancient tree. It's like hugging centuries of life." I replied with a megawatt smile, still hugging the tree.
"Well in that case, you should be hugging Rosalie instead." I can hear Emmet jokingly mumble. A loud thunder like sound echoed somewhere, and assumed it was the sound of a vampire getting smacked. Since I'm trying to stay oblivious, I kept my eyes closed and pretended I didn't hear anything. What he said was quite funny though, so I bit my lips and just mentally chuckled.
After a few more moments of just soaking up the essence of the tree, I finally let go and turned my focus back to the three vampires that had gathered outside the house.
"Hello everyone, nice to see you again. You are so lucky to live so close to these amazing trees. Do you ever hug them? It's so therapeutic!" I greeted excitedly.
"You're so strange, but I like you! Let me go try!" Emmett said while running over to where I was standing. He too stretched his arms out and gave the tree a hug. I watched him with amusement. How did I ever think this guy was threatening. He was nothing but a giant marshmelllow. Kind of like Baymax. I laughed at his antics then turned my attention back to where Alice and Jasper were standing.
"So, what are you guys up to? Were you all headed out somewhere?" I asked them.
"No, we saw you two pull up, so just thought we'd come out to greet you." Alice said cheerfully while slightly bouncing on her tippy toes.
"That's so thoughtful. Thanks for making me feel welcomed." I said to them appreciatively.
"It is our pleasure, Bella." Jasper said politely while giving me a gentlemen's bow.
I chuckled at his gesture, and walked with them towards the house.
"So, is Esme home too?" I asked. I really like Esme. She feels like the mother I've always wished for, but never had. The way she fed me and fussed over me last night made me feel very well loved. I was so surprised by how comfortable I was with the affections she was giving me. Normally I shy away from people's touch, but since arriving here in Twilight world, I don't seem to have any PTSD symptoms related to physical contact anymore. Well except for this morning.
"She's gone out to do some grocery shopping. Ever since Rosalie's texts earlier today about your plans of dropping by, Esme has been cooking up a storm in the kitchen. I think she wants you to be her guinea pig. There's a tonne of different dishes in there waiting for you." Jasper told me while trying to hide the grimace on his face.
"Oh how nice of her, good thing I'm starving right now. I can't wait to eat whatever she's cooked up!" I said excitedly, suddenly becoming more aware of the hunger pangs building in my stomach.
"Well then, lets go!" Emmett yelled, suddenly lifting me off the ground and running towards the house with me hanging upside down over his shoulder. I screamed bloody murder all the way inside, both out of fear and surprise. Emmett shook me left and right a bit as he ran, even pretending to drop me head first at one point. Finally when we reached the kitchen, he put me back down on my slightly wobbly legs. God, my heart was racing rapidly, and my throat was burning from the unexpected screaming. Holy shit. What a way to travel.
"Bella, are you okay?!" Rosalie asked with a look of panic. She frantically looked me over, and ran her hands all over me face and body checking for injuries. Still trying to catch my breath from all that screaming and heightened adrenaline, I just nodded while panting slightly. Rosalie sighed in relief, and pulled me into a tight protective embrace.
"What the fuck, Emmett?! You could have seriously hurt her! What were you thinking?!" Rosalie scolded furiously while still holding me securely in her arms. I get that his actions could have been dangerous if he were human, but did poor Emmett really deserve such a fierce scolding? He was just playing around.
"It's okay, Rosie. I didn't get hurt. It was kind of fun actually." I said trying to defuse Rosalie's anger.
"Fun? Fun?! Baby, you could have been seriously injured! What would have happened if you got hurt? I can't lose you!" Rosalie yelled while pulling me impossibly closer to her slightly shaking body. Did she just call me Baby? Why is she reacting so emotionally to some little harmless fun?
"Hey, Shh...what's got you so worked up, Rosie? I'm totally fine. Emmett was just playing around." I said while pulling back from Rosalie's tight embrace, so I could look at her face. She tried to tug me back into her body, but I placed my hands on her shoulders to prevent her from doing so. It's not that I don't enjoy her physical affections, but I wanted to know what's got her so worked up, and having her face buried into my shoulder will get us nowhere in our conversation.
Rosalie had a look of hurt on her face as I kept her at arms length. I seriously had no clue on what was going on. She's a vampire, so this can't be a case of PMS right? I thought back to how she comforted me last night without even knowing what was going on in my head, and thought maybe that could be something I can try to make her feel better too. So I cupped one of my hands to the side of her face stroking my thumb along her cheek, and brushed my other hand through her hair repeatedly.
"Come on Rosie, everything is okay. I'm sorry if something is upsetting you. Please tell me how I can make you feel better. I'm kinda lost here." I said in what I hope was a comforting tone. Rosalie closed her eyes and leaned into my touch, so I assumed whatever I was doing was working. I felt Rosalie circle her arms around my waist, and pulled me into her again. This time I let her do whatever she wanted. She nuzzled into my neck for a moment causing me to involuntarily shiver with delight. You're not suppose to be enjoying this you perv. She is a friend you are trying to comfort, so keep your head clean. I mentally scolded myself. I felt Rosalie inhale a deep breath, then whispered into my shoulder.
"I'm sorry for confusing you, Bella. I know I've over reacted. It's just, you are so important to me, and seeing how Emmett had put you at risk of harm and distress twice already just got me so mad. The thought of anything bad happening to you just kills me. " Rosalie explained sadly.
Now I'm even more confused. We've only just met last night, how important could I possibly be to her? Being a lone wolf most of my life, I'm no expert on the subject of friendship, but don't people usually need more than 24 hours to build up such an intense level of care? Surely Emmett would be way more important to her. I mean, they're mates right? God, I'm so confused, and my hunger pangs are definitely not helping me think clearly.
"Rosalie, no offence, but how important can I be to you? I mean we definitely became fast friends, and I really enjoyed spending time with you, but we only just met last night." I asked doubtfully.
Rosalie let go of me, and took a few steps back. She looked absolutely hurt and offended by what I just said. Good job, Ella. Your emotionally stunted self has just hurt the most beautiful angel who has shown you nothing but true kindness and care. You should be ashamed.
As I stood there mentally chastising myself, I heard two loud gasps. It was from Alice, and Jasper. I looked over at them wondering what has them looking so shocked, but they just looked away quickly and wondered off somewhere. Vampires are weird.
I turned back to focus on Rosalie, and saw her hugging herself solemnly. Now I really felt like a jerk. I've really hurt this beautiful blond. I was just about to apologise to her when she spoke up.
"I know the depth of my care seems too much for someone you've just met, but there is a reason for it. I don't know how to explain it to you right now, but can you please just accept me and not question it? I really like being with you, and I'm hoping I'm not scaring you off." Rosalie said brokenly. Her voice almost sounded cracked. I hate that I was the cause of this wounded version of her. It hurts my heart. I've got to fix this fast, so I walked up to Rosalie and took her hands in mine.
"Rosie, you are my most favourite person in this world. I totally have no problem being deeply cared for by you. I love your TLCs. I just didn't want to be the reason your relationship with Emmett becomes strained." I told her honestly. Rosalie smiled widely as I told her my feelings, but then her face morphed into one of confusion.
"What did you mean by you becoming a strain on my relationship with Emmett?" Rosalie asked with a deep frown..
"What do you mean, what do I mean? I thought Mates came before all else?" I said without thinking. Oh FUCK..My hunger has finally gotten to my head. I hope she thinks I'm talking about Aussie friend "mates".
Looking at the way Rosalie's eyes widened, and the way her body froze, I'm thinking I'm screwed.
"MATES?! We're not Mates! How do you even know about Mates?" Rosalie shouted in a state of panic.
"I..I just meant...like Aussie mates, you know..n..not anything else. I mean, what else could I mean right?" I tried back-pedaling. Please be convinced. I really don't want to have to explain how I knew about their vampire secret.
"YOU KNEW WE WERE VAMPIRES?! HOW DID YOU KNOW THIS?" Edward yelled, suddenly appearing out of nowhere and getting right into my personal space with a look of fury?
"Uh...I..I..yes I've always known. I...I won't tell anyone, I promise." I stuttered out fearfully.
Edward looked like he was just about ready to kill me, with how he slowly inched towards me like a predator closing in on its prey. Oh god, he can hear my thoughts. His eyes are pitch black. This can't be good.
With how emotionally charged the room was, and in my serious state of fear and hunger, I could feel a panic attack kicking in. I shut my eyes trying to take in deep breaths, as my heartbeat was skyrocketing, and the room was starting to spin. In a blink of an eye, I felt Rosalie holding me to her side protectively, and Edward went flying backwards into the wall furthest from us.
"Don't you dare hurt My Bella, Edward. I don't care what the situation is. You ever make her this scared again, I will rip you apart!" Rosalie growled out defensively, tightening her grip on me. I was so scared in that moment that I started crying. I sobbed into Rosalie's neck like there was no tomorrow.
"Shh..baby, you're safe now. No one's going to hurt you." Rosalie whispered soothingly into my hair, as she securely wrapped her arms around my head and body. With how protected I felt, I burrowed deeper into Rosalie's neck and cried harder. I could vaguely hear Emmett and Jasper yelling at Edward in the distance, but I was too caught up in my feelings to focus.
"What is going on here! Who made Bella cry?" An angry sounding Esme asked, entering the kitchen with hands full of grocery bags. She placed her shopping bags on the ground next to the doorway, and walked over to me, rubbing circles on my back.
I lifted my head to look at Esme, trying to form words, but all that came out was stuttering hiccups. I just couldn't seem to stop crying. I'm wrecked with fear, guilt, and anxiety, so all I ended up doing was burying my face back into Rosalie's shoulder while another wave of fresh tears overflowed from my eyes.
"Oh, sweetie. Don't cry. What happened? Tell me, and I will help you handle it." Esme cooed in her motherly voice. I felt her gentle hand brush tear soaked hair out of my face, cupping my puffy red cheek, and directing my face to look up at her.
"She bloody knew we were vampires! I heard her say it in her thoughts! She purposely tried to hide it. And you all know how effective her scent is in making us let our guards down. Who knows what else this human is capable of!" Edward accusingly shouts while still being restrained by Jasper and Emmett.
Both Rosalie and Esme snapped their heads up and gave Edward a disapproving glare.
"I understand why you are so concerned, Edward, but it is absolutely unacceptable for you to make Bella feel so threatened. I trust that Bella means us no harm, and I'm sure she has a perfectly good reason for keeping her knowledge of us a secret." Esme stated as calmly as she could. She gave me a look that said she expects me to explain myself later, and I just nodded shyly while still leaning into the comforting hold of Rosalie.
"This is bullshit! Like we can trust this human! She can block our gifts! If it wasn't for that moment where her mental shield was down, we would probably still be in the dark. And who knows what the consequences of that could be for us!" Edward angrily replied.
"Just shut up already, Edward. I can assure you that Bella has no ill intentions. I saw a vision of Bella just now, she has a perfectly good reason for keeping her knowledge of us secret. I wanted to let her choose when she was ready to tell us, but you ruined it. See for yourself." Alice chastised Edward. I watched as Edward stood there silently staring at Alice. His face morphed from anger to shock, then to one of annoyance, and finally settled with looking defeated. I'm not sure what he saw, but whatever it was, Edward did not look happy. Without another word, he ran out of the house.
"I'm sorry for causing so much trouble to you and your family. I swear I would never tell anyone your secret. I should probably go now. The last thing I want is to cause you guys to have hard feelings towards each other because of me." I rambled while attempting to wriggle my way out of Rosalie's arms. Rosalie tightened her hold on me, moving my body to face her.
"Bella, stop! You're not going anywhere! I want you to look at me and listen carefully okay." Rosalie said firmly, gripping my chin with her fingers, making me look at her. I nodded my head and she continued speaking.
"I don't care what you know about us. I meant what I said about you being important to me, so stop doubting it. We all obviously need to talk about how you knew about us, but please, please don't ever try to pull away from us again. From Me again. It really hurts when you do that." Rosalie told me almost pleadingly. It took a minutes for me to digest what she said. There were still so many questions I had about why she keeps emphasising on me being important to her, and choosing to defend me against her own family members, but I was too emotionally drained and hungry from all that's just happened. So I decided to store those questions for later, and just take things as they come.
I gave Rosalie a smile of acceptance, and leaned back into her front with my head against her shoulder for comfort. She let out a sigh of relief, and wrapped her arms around my torso, drawing me impossibly closer to her. After a moment of just closing my eyes to soak in the moment of being held, I lifted my head to look at Esme. She opened her arms towards me, inviting me in for a hug too. My face brightened at this, and made a few quick strides towards her where she pulled me into a warm motherly embrace.
"Rosalie's right, sweetie. You are very important to us, so don't think about going anywhere. We're keeping you no matter what happens. And don't worry about Edward, I'll talk to him later." Esme told me reassuringly.
"Now, moving on from all the crying, let's get you fed. I've made you a whole table full of delicious food, so you better start eating!" Esme announced excitedly, trying to break the heavy tension that's built up in the room. I could hear the guys groan, and Alice giggle.
Rosalie silently took a hold of my hand, and led me towards the breakfast bar. She then sat down on a bar stool and pulled me down to sit on her lap. Once seated, Rosalie wrapped her arms around my waist securely, and rested her chin on my shoulder. It's amazing how comfortable I was with Rosalie's constant physical contact. I didn't feel awkward at all. I turned my head slightly to give her a shy smile, then moved my focus back to the table of feast Esme was now heating up and unwrapping.
"Here, try this bear claw while you're waiting. It's my first time making them." Esme said while handing me a sticky pastry. I eagerly grabbed it and took a big bite.
"Mmm...this tastes amazing." I moaned out. It was so good, I couldn't help but inhale the whole thing into my mouth. Esme looked pleased with my reaction, and quickly handed me another dish to taste once she saw I had finished the bear claw. I took a spoon and shovelled up what looked like cottage pie, and just like I predicted, it tasted amazing.
"You are a domestic goddess, Esme. If you weren't already married, I'd totally take you as my wife." I joked. Esme looked flattered and laughed out loudly, while Rosalie growled softly at what I said, tightening her hold on me. I gave her a questioning look, but all she did was grumble something about being able to cook too, then buried her face into my neck.
Back to Present time
I could feel Rosalie brushing my hair up into a pony tail. I love it when she plays with my hair, it was such a soothing and intimate feeling. I must have looked dopey or something, because Esme looked at me with amusement and gave a light chuckle. She then picked up a napkin and reached over the table to wipe something off my cheek. I blushed at being fussed over like a small child, but somewhere inside my body, I could feel a pleasant warmth growing.
After miraculously eating at least another dozen of different dishes, I finally felt full and sated. It really was a surprise how much I managed to eat. It's like I'm eating on behalf of a whole AFL team. Looking at all the food still on the table, I felt a bit disappointed that I couldn't fit anymore into my stomach, as there were still a few more amazing looking dishes I haven't tried. Esme reassured me that she would pack all the left overs for me to take home so I could share it with Charlie. Happy with that idea, I gave her my megawatt smile, and got up from Rosalie's lap to stretch my body.
Alice bounced into the room, and looked at me with a cheerful smile.
"Hey, Bella. I see you've refueled. Just wanted to let you know, I've already started washing and drying your clothes. How about you come sit in the living room with us, and tell us your story. You can say as little or as much as you want. No pressure." Alice said with a hopeful but apprehensive look on her face.
I looked at Alice and everyone else standing around me. They all looked eager to hear my explanation, but I also knew they wouldn't push me if I decided not to say anything. Wanting to lift the weight of keeping secrets off my shoulder, I made the decision to tell them what I knew.
"Okay, let's do this." I announced.