Disclaimer : I don't own Card Captor Sakura
Notes : Sorry for the tardiness! I didn't have the time to revise and post it last week. Hopefully next chapter will come out faster.
Review Responses:
Nigaii: Ow, I feel so embarrassed now. Sorry for not updating sooner….But here goes the 6th chapter, hope you enjoy. Kaho? Well, she'll have her part. Perhaps. Hahaha.
Sweet-sunflower : Yes, poor Eriol and Tomoyo … *hug them* Now come on you two, just don't be that stubborn…
Cata06: Moody Eriol… well, some of his information is revealed in this chapter. Yeah, I enjoy writing the 5th chapter too. Well, go read to see whether your prediction is true or not. Hehehe. I'm not gonna spoil it now.
Pinkngreen2043: Hahaha, yeah, you're right, Eriol and Tomoyo are awesome! I've loved them for years and even when I sway to other fandoms, in the end, I'll always be back to ET. Here goes the next chapter! Sorry for the long update.
Animefan88tv: Okay, Amy then! And my goodness, you pointed out things I didn't really realize! Yeah, Tomoyo stared a lot at him and mentioned his voice. On one hand, I hate myself for showing it to that extent, but on the other hand, I still need to describe it. *sigh * Writing in 1st person POV is harder than I thought. Thank you for the review anyway!
Shanaa12: Your predictions, Vhaa… will hopefully be answered in this chapter. Well, at least, I hope this chapter answers your question. Hehe. Thanks for reviewing!
Redeyes143: yep, he did. Before anybody came to school that is. Still illegal, but oh well, he's Eriol. *trying to defend him, haha * Thanks for reviewing!
Tina : Oh no. Eriol has not suffered yet. He will bring more suffering to Tomoyo, and he has yet to taste his own misery. Oh well, time will come. Hehe. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Here goes the 6th chapter!
Bshinigami: And I'm happy you reviewed. ^^. Yeah, thanks for the support! I'll try to stay positive in my job. Thank you very much!
AmethystCrystals : Whoa, people really expect Eriol to get drunk, eh? Hahaha. Well, read to find out what Eriol will do, hehehe. And yes, of course, dear Miss Tomoyo will stick with him. Thank you for reviewing!
Vedha: Thank you very much! Here goes the 6th chapter to give more insight of Eriol's personality. ^^
LadyMidnightGuardian: "Tomoyo has her hots for Eriol", ahahaha.. yeah, she does. Hehe. To answer your speculation… hmm, well, here goes next chapter. Please enjoy…!
The Daidouji-san
Chapter 6: The One Who Returns
It wasn't my fault, was it?
I rested my chin as I watched upon the sapphire-eyed magician. It had been three days since that night phone call and the queer morning, yet Hiiragizawa still got my upmost attention. It was not because of things people might have assumed ("It's romance! It's love! –acclaimed one of my classmates), but it was more due to the bugging feeling of responsibility.
People might have not noticed it, but I, who had witnessed the dark and cynical side of him, was instantly alarmed by his sudden change of behaviors. It was almost invisible to the eyes of the others –as I knew that he still treated people the same – but there was something different, something wrong.
First, he apologized to me.
He apologized for calling me in the middle of the night, he apologized for his rude behavior earlier that semester, and he basically apologized for everything. I didn't mean to be a bitch who held grudges, but his series of apology were too queer that I was afraid to trust them. I didn't mean to be that rude, really. But I was just too bewildered. The Hiiragizawa I knew was a confident, arrogant man who would never ask for apologies. And yet, the same man had been giving me apologies for three days.
Secondly, he never tried to pick on me anymore. He gave me a considerate amount of jobs in the student council and he treated me nicely –very nicely. And whenever I thought that he had something up his sleeve, it turned out that I was only being paranoid.
He wasn't himself.
And I said it to Sakura on the phone last night.
My dear Cherry Blossom's answer startled me.
"I don't get it, Tomoyo-chan. Isn't that the same Eriol-kun?"
And it got me into thinking.
Was it true? Was Sakura right? Was everyone else right?
The arrogant, rude, lamb-disguised wolf was actually a saint to begin with? Was I really imagining those bad images about him? Was he truly a sincerely-smiling guy with good soul inside? If that was true, I was glad that his old self was back.
But on the other hand, I knew I could never forget that other side of Hiiragizawa Eriol. The one that I discovered for the last two months.
And chronologically speaking, I knew that he started acting weird after our conversations.
Something about his relationship with Clow Reed.
I sighed at his contradiction. I thought it was a predictable tendency for someone who had two souls in one body. Although double souls in one body had never been an ordinary case, but the typicality was predictable, like those I read in novels. Like double personality, one would have the urge to take over the other. One would feel insecure at the presence of the other, and it was only the matter of time before one soul would be swallowed by the other.
My forehead frowned. Then, did it mean that Hiiragizawa's personality was swallowed up by Clow Reed's?
No.
This might have been theoretical, but I presumed that Hiiragizawa himself created excuses and reasons, as if to make himself Clow Reed, and yet to prove his own uniqueness.
That paradoxical man… What did he want exactly? At first I thought that he wanted people to acknowledge him as 'Eriol'. But later, he seemed to want another reassurance that he was Clow Reed, and not Eriol, and –
"Daidouji-san, you are so silent during the meeting, are you alright?"
I blinked as I realized that Hiiragizawa had been nudging his elbow at mine. Oh, I couldn't have missed the meeting! I silently cursed myself for my lack of professionalism and ranted apologies, but Hiiragizawa only offered me a cup of warm coffee and smiled.
"I hope you're alright."
There. Again. The queerness of his kindness.
I must have stared at either the coffee as if it was a snake's venom or his face as if it was Minotaur –because he chuckled lightly, "Please, loosen up yourself around me. You still don't trust me, do you?" I replied it with silence and he might have presumed it as an affirmation. He then sadly (I didn't know whether it was faked or not!) spoke, "You are my first friend here in Tomoeda High, Daidouji-san. I do hope that whatever I've done to you in the past can be forgiven."
"…I'm not one to hold grudges, Hiiragizawa-san."
But I am a very cautious woman, just that.
He smiled and gave me the reports of the students' aspirations sheets. I could faintly hear him spoke about the female students' complaints about the perverted new teacher and what the Student Council was planning to do, but really, my thoughts were flying else where. Hiiragizawa seemed to realize this, and he ended his explanations with another coffee offer and the same kind, empty smile.
The problem of Hiiragizawa Eriol had made me temporarily forget that the Cultural Festival was coming close. I didn't realize better that the festival would be the day after. My class room was already decorated as a fantasy-themed café. My classmates were hard workers – we managed to finish all the little details before school ended that day. Another group of girls who were in charge with the cooking were off shopping for the ingredients. I was currently in charge with the fitting of the costumes. Despite the additional hectic that invaded my already busy life, I was glad that there was another reason to avoid thinking about the double-personality Hiiragizawa-san. Really, I started to think that it was pretty useless to ponder about that quizzical man.
"Daidouji-sama… this dress is so gorgeous! Thank you for creating it!"
I agreed, both at my genius design and sewing, as well as the fact that Ayame truly looked beautiful in that blue dress. After hours of labors at my own home, I finally finished the costumes for my classmates for our café in the Culture Festival. I looked up at Ayame and smiled honestly. "It truly makes you look like Cinderella. You look very beautiful."
"Can I have this costume after the Culture Festival ends, Daidouji-san? Maybe I can use it again if I have an invitation to a costume party or something…" embarrassedly asked Nina, the other girl who was wearing the female Genie costume.
"Of course. You may all have these costumes. It will be great honor for me if you like it!"
"You are so kind… Daidouji-san!" one hugged me.
"Hime, I still regret why you insist not to wear your own costume… You will make the best princess of all!"
"Yes, I'm sure you will look dashing!"
Hm, I was starting to like all this attention again…
Ho ho.
A little boost of confidence from my friends was a really great aid to my throbbing head right now. Yes, why didn't I think about it before? Why did I fret about Hiiragizawa when I could just have minded my own business?
"This will be the best school festival ever! This is better than my class performance last year!" commented one of my classmates. "I hope our class can win the competition for the best class performance. Our hard competitors are Class 2-B with their 'Snow White' drama and the Ghost House from the basketball club."
I heard this as I fixed the stitches on the fairy costume my friend wore. I wasn't so worried about the basketball club's ghost house, because I knew that despite the high expectations, the club didn't have much time to prepare their Ghost House (since they were occupied with the upcoming Regional Championship), but Class 2-B's drama club was a real threat, because they had Himeko Ogata –a real, rising star in the theater world – in their Class acting as Snow White. I heard that students from other schools were all eager to watch her performance.
But ah, Class 3-A had me¸ didn't they?
I wouldn't be the front man, but my role in the backstage would be decent enough. The real concept of our class's café was actually the mixture of mini RPG, café, and spectacles all in one. We had the café with the whole delicious menu that I had taught my fellow classmates to make, and then my male classmates had transformed my classroom into a convincing place where all the visitors could play our little RPG game at the beginning with all the maids and servants in fantasy costume and enjoyed the menu of the café at the end. And topmost, we also promised door prizes.
The task hadn't exactly been easy, especially when I tried to convince the school's officer to permit us use a much bigger room to perform our little RPG-fantasy café.
But you wouldn't think that this was difficult for one Tomoyo Daidouji, would you?
And besides, who were two most popular people on the Newspaper club's poll this month, again?
The female lead would be, undoubtedly, me.
While, the male lead would be, unfortunately, the new transfer student who instantly became the Student Council's president: Hiiragizawa-san.
Despite my silent disapproval of his popularity rank, for the sake of our class, I couldn't be more satisfied that we were both on the same class.
I knew it wouldn't be a bad idea to get Hiiragizawa play as the servant-Sorcerer at the café.
Speaking of him, where was that guy? He had skipped the first and second period because he had a meeting with one of the sponsor for our Culture Festival, but it was the fourth period already. He should have been here as his meeting with the sponsor should have ended. He was the only one who hadn't fitted the costume I made and I really hated to see what I had worked on to be wasted. So that Hiiragizawa had better showed up and avoided me having unnecessary sentiment towards him.
And even hours later, Hiiragizawa Eriol still hadn't showed his damned feature.
"Where is Hiiragizawa-kun? All others have gone home, but he hasn't showed up…" complained Nina. "He had yet to try his costume, and the Culture Festival is tomorrow!"
"Maybe he's sick?" suggested Ayame, who then quickly added. "If so, then we should all just go visit him! He's been very nice to all of us and –"
"With all of these stuffs to do? Ayame, you're the one in charge with the cooking! You don't have time for that, despite my own sympathy towards Hiiragizawa-kun," remarked Nina. "I'm also in charge with the cooking, and all the boys have left, and we don't have anyone…" she stopped her words on track and I almost instantly knew what she was going to do. Soon, Nina would steal shy glances at me –unable to request it to me –but on the other hand, her mind was telling her that logically, I was really the one who could do that certain job and…
I was really tempted to ignore all of her signals.
It was obvious that Nina wanted me to go check on Hiiragizawa and fitted the costume on him –which was not something I would want to do on purpose.
"Maybe I could just help you with the cooking and then you could bring this costume to Hiiragizawa-san, Nina," I offered. I would rather be busied with the cooking job than to go to that serpent's abode.
Nina slowly shook her head. "No, Daidouji-san. I am the one responsible with the cooking. It's my job. You have done yours with the designing and the sewing. And besides… I think Hiiragizawa-kun will like it even more if it's his girlfriend showing up instead of me."
I heaved a tired sigh. How many times must I repeat this: " Hiiragizawa-san is not my boyfriend. We're merely childhood friends."
"Then you must have known his house. None of us do," persuaded Nina. Despite my fondness of her, I really didn't enjoy her persuasiveness.
"I can draw you the map," I suggested.
The two girls didn't reply anything back, and I knew that despite the my victory in the argument, I couldn't help but to feel that Nina resembled Sakura-chan a lot (in terms with her silent, irresistible pleas). It would feel like I betrayed Sakura if I didn't oblige. And I knew I would abhor myself if I ever made Sakura –or someone else who resembled her – upset.
With a tired sigh, I finally agreed.
"Alright. I'll go check on Hiiragizawa-san."
The happy gleams in their eyes were too obvious, and I couldn't help but to give a small smile.
Five years? Six years? The last time I checked, Hiiragizawa's house had been demolished so that an amusement park could be established. Years after, I didn't really pay much attention to the remaining of his house or to even go around this area. Hiiragizawa once said that he still lived in the same block, but I originally thought that he was staying in an apartment or something. I didn't notice that his old manor was back in its prime glory.
The mansion looked just like what was embedded in my 11-year-old's memory. There was still the amusement park in the background of the manor, although it had been abandoned due to the fire three years prior. But that still didn't quite explain why his manor stood there as if it had never been demolished.
Oh, how fun it was to be the reincarnation of the world's once greatest sorcerer? Look at the convenience it provided.
I pushed on the tall gate's handle and found it unlocked. The willow trees were immediately in view and they almost shielded the sight of the marvelous residence. I followed the stone road path that led to the front door of the Manor. And since there was no bell, I knocked.
I didn't need to wait for a long time –as in the next two seconds the door was swung open and a pair of arms was reaching out to grab my body.
If I hadn't remembered a woman named Akizuki Nakuru, I would have screamed. Imagine, an old English Manor in a secluded area, in a late afternoon where the sun almost set, and a pair of pale arms trying to snake you inside. Ah, the horror of the manor.
"Daidouji-saaannn…!" Nakuru squealed in delight as she encircled her arms around my body, crushing my head towards her chest.
Only then that I realized why Sakura once said she had a minor fear towards Nakuru Akizuki.
"Good day, Akizuki-san," I muttered after I had the chance to stand on balanced feet once again.
"Good day! Oh, how many years since we last met? You've grown into such a gorgeous lady!"
"My, Akizuki-san," I smiled fondly. "You, too, are even more beautiful than I last remember."
"Call me Nakuru, please!"
"Then you may as well call me Tomoyo."
The happy gleam on Nakuru-san's face was so genuine that I couldn't help but to feel influenced by her cheerfulness. She invited me inside the manor and lit up the light inside. Still the same, I mentally commented as I darted my eyes around the Manor. Regardless of its antique beauty, the manor was still too vacant for my taste.
"Daidouji-san? What a pleasant surprise."
I glanced up at the staircase. I instantly wondered whether this guy read my mind and decided to make his appearance just when my thoughts started to wander at him. Hiiragizawa Eriol strolled down the stairs in grace and confidence. He wore casual gray trousers and dark blue shirt –it was kind of weird to see him not in his school uniform, but I must admit that the color coordination of his attire was good. I hesitated for a moment but decided that politeness must prevail. "Good evening, Hiiragizawa-san. I am sorry for the sudden visit. I just come here because the others that you have to do the fitting for the costume."
He reached the final end of the stairs and smiled in his usual polite way. "Ah, for the Culture Festival tomorrow, eh?"
"Yes. You didn't come to school today and you haven't tried on your costume," I said as I handed him a paper bag with his costume inside.
"It is such an honor, to wear a Daidouji's design," he commented pleasantly as he pulled out the piece of dark blue cloth.
"I don't know if it suits your taste." I shrugged. Honestly, it was the hardest to design and sew the sorcerer's outfit for Hiiragizawa. It had looked too much like his original Clow Reed attire, but after several remakes, I thought that the garment finally had its own distinctive characteristic.
"I'll try this on. Please excuse me for a moment, Daidouji-san," he said before he disappeared into one of the room and left me alone with Nakuru.
"Ah! Come, Tomoyo-chan! I'll serve you the tea!" Nakuru said as she dragged me towards the living room. She went to the kitchen and a few minutes after, she was back with a tea pot and cups. I let out a polite gratitude before I took a sip on the tea. The chamomile tea relaxed me and I began to share conversations with Nakuru.
"Where's Spinel? Is he still the same?"
"Yes! He's as cute and as grouchy as ever. You won't believe what he –Oh my God!"
Apparently, our conversations couldn't last long. From what I understood (through Nakuru's incoherent mumbles when she dashed upstairs), Spinel had been in a bubble bath with limbs tied and there was a high risk the poor feline was drowning at the moment.
"I hope that I don't have to give him CPR. He smells weird lately." Even in the midst of hurry, Nakuru still managed to comment before she slammed the door on the second floor close.
The living room was silent after Nakuru's disappearance. Despite the manor's hugeness and its faint aura of hollowness, Nakuru Akizuki could always make the abode resembled like the Kinomoto's old house.
"Ruby Moon…"
I heard the dark voice of my classmates calling from the inside of the room where he last disappeared into. Putting back the cup to the table, I stood up to approach the door and knocked. "Nakuru-san is trying to help Spinel-san. Is there anything you need, Hiiragizawa-san?"
The door creaked opened but I remained unmoving on my spot. It wasn't until he called me again that I invited myself inside.
"Please come inside, Daidouji-san. I need your help."
The room was naturally dark but Hiiragizawa then turned on the small lamp on the nightstand and the dim yellow light illuminated his feature. I must admit that I nearly gasped in surprise when seeing him topless. But of course, I didn't want to give him any indication that I was losing any of my control, so I tried to remain calm –even when I was faced with his bare chest and well-built abs. Hiiragizawa was a thin and slim man, but without his clothes on his upper body, I found that he actually had a very nice figure.
"Why haven't you got dressed?" I asked the magician as casually as I could muster.
"I just had a hard time deciding which one to wear first. The shirt, the vest, the robe or the –"
What was he, a toddler? I sighed before replying again, "Wear that white shirt first."
He obliged and I watched him wore my design. As a designer, I couldn't help but to feel satisfied that my design looked so good on somebody else's figure. When Hiiragizawa Eriol was not wearing his usual school uniform, he actually looked less tense, and I had to admit, that he would make a very fine male model. He unbuttoned the vest and wore it on top of the white shirt before he paused to comment, "While the design is still good and has a strong feel of aristocracy in it… rather than looking like a sorcerer, I must say that this makes me more like a duke or a count or –"
"Put the robe on, it's what enhances the whole Sorcerer looks," I suggested.
"Ah yes, but that's been my problem earlier. I didn't know how to tie the robe, it comes with this cape and these –"
"Allow me," I offered, so that my own design would not be insulted. If I left such matter to Hiiragizawa-san, he might have just made my piece of art looked like rug covering his body. I kind of regretted how I myself made the whole attire rather puzzling to wear, but at least, it was required to satisfy my designer's perfectionist side. Taking the material from Hiiragizawa, I then put the robe on him, slung it over his shoulders like a Greek attire, and made sure that the drapery effect was correct. Next, I tied the fabric on the front, twisted some of the material until it properly formed a cape and covered the top of his head with the garment, yet still allowing his pale face to be shown.
"Ah, so this is how it works," he commented as he took a step back and approached the full-length mirror. I stole glances at his reflection to also watch him stood in my design.
"It looks good," and I managed to stop before rolling the words 'on you'. If I had spoken the remaining words, it would have given him the indication that I was complimenting him. And I was not. Well, okay, maybe a little. His perfect figure made the outfit fitted him well, his dark blue eyes matched the indigo material I was using, and he cast such an enigmatic aura (whether he realized it or not) which brought out the whole sorcerer look.
His pale fingers traced the design of the hem before his pale they reached up to touch his own face. I noticed that the gesture was done so smoothly that it seemed like he did not even realize he was doing it. There was this dead silence, and somehow I felt it to be thicker than usual. The urge to break it was so intense, but before I could even put any attempt to do it, there was this laughter that broke the silence in the air.
I knew that it was not the sound of my laughter. Last time I checked, I didn't laugh like a… crazy person that way.
Hiiragizawa began with a chuckle and it grew into hollow-tinted laughter.
He was still looking at the mirror and it took me almost a minute of deliberation to decide whether it was wise to actually say something to him or not. But at the end, I chose to signify my presence.
"…What is so funny?"
He still laughed.
I was torn between staying or running away from him.
"Hiira –"
"Finally. I understand."
Staring at him quizzically, I then posed my next question. "You…understand what?"
"It's been so simple…" he was still laughing and I still didn't have any clue what was so funny about the situation.
"What is so simple, Hiiragizawa-san?"
At the mention of his name, the guy's laughter immediately died. His sapphire eyes were suddenly focused on me and I unconsciously took a step backward. Before I knew it, Hiiragizawa-san had taken quick, calm steps towards me. I supposed I was so astounded with the whole scene that I found my legs rooted to my original spot. With such close distance, I could see how his sapphire eyes had the grayish tint on them and how perfectly-sculpted his nose really was.
Surely, if I could even analyze his nose, you must have known how close we were.
"Miss… Daidouji… Miss Tomoyo Daidouji?"
"… Yes, Hiiragizawa-san?"
"Ah there, you're wrong again," he smiled warmly.
"Wrong?"
"You keep calling me 'Hiiragizawa-san'."
I supposed I had stared at him for too long, but Hiiragizawa wasn't the type to deter just because a girl was looking intensely at him. Deciding that there really was something wrong with his head, I spoke again, "But you are Hiiragizawa-san. It's your name, Eriol Hiiragizawa."
The calmness on his eyes never faltered as he asked back. "You are Sakura's best friend from the Elementary who used to help her a lot. Daidouji Tomoyo-san, pleased to meet you in person. My name is Clow Reed."
I let out a deep sigh. This was so tiring. Why did I have to deal with this issue?
"Hiiragizawa-san, stop this game and please…stop pretending to be someone you're not. Your lack of originality really disappoints me, truthfully. You are Hiiragizawa Eriol. You think Clow Reed would do anything nearly as crazy as what you're doing right now?"
The smile on his face was so warm, so serene, so wise, and mature. His words were equally as polite and comforting. "Then, what do you know about me, Clow Reed, Miss Daidouji?"
I saw it.
No matter how well he masked that wise and mature smile, how he hid himself well behind those supposedly-clear-and-understanding indigo eyes, I could see it.
The distinctive arrogance that belonged to only one man.
"I may not know anything about Clow Reed. But I suppose I know several things about Hiiragizawa Eriol."
I supposed Hiiragizawa-san had widened his eyes at my comment, but the next second, he already closed them.
I didn't even have the chance to share the victory of actually saying the right thing –no, I didn't even think about that. Because what occupied my mind at the next second was the presence that made me forgot how it was to breathe. It was not a bad presence, but the power was so enormous that I could feel the force only by looking at those suddenly opened indigo eyes.
"Good evening, Miss Tomoyo Daidouji."
And the only figure in front of me smiled.
.
.
.
I might have no magic, I might have not met him before, but despite the same body he was using, I knew that he was different from the previously crazy Hiiragizawa Eriol.
And there was a voice inside of me that telling me who this person was.
But my mind refused to admit it.
"Who are you?" I asked the figure of Hiiragizawa Eriol who, at the same time, was not Hiiragizawa Eriol.
The man in front of me casually sat on one of the chair and propped his chin on his palm. He was calm, cautious and playful at the same time. "I thought you already know me?"
I didn't know what made me say such contradicting things in less than five minutes, but something in my heart told me that what I was saying was true. "You're no longer Hiiragizawa-san."
There was the faintest smile on his face, a smile that was different from the usual debonair smile, but a smile that hid equal mysteries. "Then, who do you think I am?"
It felt rather too dramatic, with the sudden wind blowing from the opened window, but the intensity of his smile, of his eyes, of his words matched the building drama.
For the rarest time, I was afraid to speak.
The man was patient, but his eyes silently urged me to continue.
I did.
"Clow Reed."
.
.
His secretive smile affirmed my guess.
.
.
"How…?" I questioned. I knew that Hiiragizawa Eriol was his half reincarnation. But for years, I believed that Clow Reed was already dead and –
"Unlike my other reincarnation, Eriol possesses a bigger burden," Clow Reed spoke as he gazed at the pale arm of the body. "He possesses my memory, he possesses my will, he possesses my spirit. Unlike Fujitaka, Eriol was originally only born to do what I was not able to do and finish… The role to guide Sakura, the role to watch over her, to watch over the cards, to make sure the balance of the world –"
"…But those roles are no longer necessary."
"True. But what can you say to someone who has dedicated his whole life for it? Once he lost his purpose, what is he? Who is he? Living in his memory, I can understand the contradiction inside. One side of him wanted to be free, wanted to be Eriol Hiiragizawa without any attachment towards his previous life. But on the other side… this boy is too responsible; he might have found it hard not to carry on this already finished role. Since Fujitaka didn't carry the burden of my memory, he could live his life freely. But what about the other boy –whose life purpose was only to be my…tool?"
I flinched at Clow's choice of words. I myself couldn't believe it, but for the first time I thought I had sympathy to Hiiragizawa-san.
"I was cruel to him, and I still am, I admit," Clow said. "It's never my intention to purposely cause this burden on him. But I thought that he carried the role too well that I admitted I… relied too much on him. I suppose I convinced myself that I didn't make any mistake to him, but it is impossible."
"But he knows…well… he knew that he wasn't you. Not wholly you, at least."
"He knew. But when he sensed me starting to leave him, he got more unstable, and I presumed he started to doubt his own belief. Perhaps that's the reason why he acted weird lately, and I am sure you are one of the people who already witness it."
"…You're going to leave him?"
"Something that I should have done years ago," admitted Clow Reed. "So don't worry, his slightly peculiar acts would turn normal in times. He'll be able to live on his own, as his own, and with little helps from the others, of course," the man said as looking directly at my eyes, and I had a feeling that he wanted me to confirm it.
…
I didn't know what to confirm.
"…Clow Reed-san, why are you telling me this?"
"You're one of the very few people he could actually show his real side –the real Eriol Hiiragizawa persona. Not the 'the reincarnation-of-Clow Reed' Hiiragizawa. And knowing Eriol's real personality all these years, I could say that you are truly special. Not all people can open this side of him. And I think I can understand why." Clow, who still used the body of Hiiragizawa Eriol, continued, "You have a kind heart."
…
I wanted to question how he drew that conclusion. A couple years backward, maybe it was true, but I had grown. Realization, reality, and rationality had perhaps turned me into a more cynical being. Even Hiiragizawa-san could sense it –I was not the same Tomoyo from the fifth grade. And to receive such compliment from the once greatest magician was really too much. I didn't deserve it. Even for a Daidouji, I reluctantly admitted. And –
The warm pat on the top of my head broke my trains of thought. I blushed upon noticing that Clow Reed had patted my head tenderly. I felt a foreign yet familiar sensation. The warm hand and that knowing smile, it was like the father image that I couldn't precisely remember anymore.
"I suppose my half reincarnation would trouble you enough in the future, but if it's you, I'm sure you can do it."
"Clow-san –"
"Take care of him."
"Wait, Clow –"
He smiled and closed his eyes.
And I knew that the person in front of me was not Clow Reed anymore.
The indigo eyes that greeted me next were confused ones and belonged to one Hiiragizawa Eriol. The questioning glints on his eyes were present, but I supposed his ego was back. Perhaps he found it downgrading to seek answers out of me. I was tempted to just tell him what had happened, but another voice told me that this was not yet the time.
However, his next words surprised me.
"Clow… wasn't it?"
What could I say? How could I lie? So I affirmed his words.
He looked torn between wanting to satisfy his curiosity or protect his pride. I didn't know what the wisest thing to say or do, thus I remained silent. I didn't know how long it happened: Him looking questioningly at his own hands and me looking at any other objects other than him. But finally, Hiiragizawa broke our silence.
"Do you think… you know me, Daidouji-san?"
There was a childish inquiry in his peculiar question, but at the same time, the question held things far deeper than the literal meaning of it.
"… At least, I think I do," was my final answer. A weak answer, I knew. It totally betrayed the strength I possessed before he was 'turned' into Clow Reed. In my defense, I felt it only fitting to give him the honest response.
Hiiragizawa then turned around and spoke, "It's late. You should go home, Daidouji-san. Besides, we need to prepare ourselves for tomorrow's Culture Festival."
What had happened that day was so tiring that I found myself instantly agreeing. "You're right. Don't forget to come earlier tomorrow. Our class will be having a short rehearsal and your Sorcerer-servant role is very well-anticipated. Good evening, Hiiragizawa-san," I said as I turned around and headed out of the door.
But his deep voice called back.
"Clow may think that you know about me," he started darkly. "But you still know nothing about me."
And despite the darkness, despite the sudden foul mood, despite the arrogant words, I found it comforting to hear the voice of someone I actually know. Chuckling, I muttered back, "Enlighten me, then, Hiiragizawa-san."
I might not be able to see his face, but I knew that a smirk was present on his face.
Strangely, I didn't feel the urge to wipe that smugness off his face.
To be Continued