Chapter 06– Dr.'s Orders

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Eric looked over and watched as she took a drag from a cigarette and tossed it out the driver's window. He replied, "When did you start smoking?"

She quipped, "When did you start exercising?"

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"Fair question. I had a lot of free time my first year in Africa and started playing soccer and basketball. After I got some muscle on me, I guess I liked working out." Eric replied.

"Well it looks good on you." Jackie answered honestly. "Not that I was checking you out or anything."

He smiled. "Of course not. The cigarettes?"

She looked over at her passenger and sighed. "During my hair academy days, a lot of us girls would sneak a cigarette during break to get rid of the chemical smells and stuff. Hair color, perm solutions….I swear it was burning my nostrils. I figured, what would it hurt to smoke a couple a day and then that couple turned into a pack and since everyone says I smell like an ashtray….well, I'm trying to quit."

"My mom had a hard time quitting and she was a nurse." Eric began. "You might ask her for tips."

Jackie nodded, "I remember she used to sneak off once in a while. Oh! Here's your house." She pulled to the curb and waited while Eric opened the door. "Hey Eric!"

He leaned down, "Hey Jackie."

She smiled, "That offer for coffee still stands!"

He smiled back, "I may take you up on that."

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Fez was opening a can of bean dip while Hyde was going through his new box of movies. "Damn, these are all sweet…I don't know which one I want to watch first. Do we go with De Niro or Pacino?"

Fez scooped some dip onto his Ruffles potato chip and shrugged, "Which one is better?" There was a rapid knock on the door and it opened quickly. "Hi guys." Jackie greeted as she shrugged out of her coat. "You'll never guess who I picked near Mount Hump."

Hyde joked, "Your next victim?"

"Ha ha. No, it was Eric. Wearing a track suit." Jackie answered as she plopped on the couch. "He was running."

Fez laughed, "Nobody runs in the wintertime."

Hyde looked at his roommate, "Maybe somebody should start!"

Laughing, Fez replied "Oohhh, good burn. Oh, wait! That was a burn on me!" Fez glared at Hyde and grabbed the chips with the dip and headed for his bedroom. Hyde waited for the door to slam and then he smiled. "He really needs to lose weight. Eric should take Fez on his next run."

Jackie crossed her legs. "He plays basketball and soccer."

Hyde swallowed some beer and looked at his ex-girlfriend. "You're not thinking about…."

"What? No! He's a friend. I can't help it if he looks really good. I don't want some skank latching onto him." Jackie said defensively.

"Ho ho…..sounding a little protective aren't we?" Hyde teased.

Jackie shrugged her shoulders, "I just think that we should all look out for each other. Damn, now I want a cigarette."

Hyde threw a peppermint candy in Jackie's direction. "You only think you want one. Chew on this, it will make your breath smell less like death."

"Oh that compliment will endear you to all women." She countered sarcastically.

"Hey, that's why they're called cancer sticks. They'll kill you." Hyde said very informatively. "Mrs. Forman helped me kick my habit."

Her brows knitted, "That's what Eric suggested." If Steven and Eric thought it was a good idea…"I think I'll give Mrs. Forman some highlights this weekend. She hasn't been to my salon in a few weeks." Jackie pulled her emery board from her hand bag and started buffing her fingernails. "I certainly don't want my fingertips to turn that nasty shade of yellow." But damn! She wanted a cigarette!

"Pacino it is!" Hyde declared. "And I have a pizza coming in a half hour. You paying?"

Jackie sighed, "Yes. But didn't I pay last time?"

Hyde put the VHS tape in the machine and sat back in his chair, "Can't remember. Does it really matter?"

"I guess not." Jackie replied. "But one day, you'll stop thinking of me as your own personal ATM machine."

Hyde smiled at her, "I still love you too."

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"Mrs. Forman…." Michael Kelso was hesitant to ask the question. Kitty smiled and encouraged the tall boy to continue. "Um…I have to work nights for a couple of weeks so could Betsy sleep over and I'll pick her up to take her to school and that stuff for a while?"

Kitty passed a Betsy decorated cookie to Kelso. "Certainly. How is she doing in her little therapy classes?"

Kelso ran a nervous hand through his hair, "Yeah….about that. Mrs. Forman…I'm no good at this dad stuff. When I talked to Dr. Lake….I didn't understand half of what she was saying or what I needed to do. I felt real dumb."

Kitty patted the large hand. "Well, Michael, what you need then is an interpreter to go with your or for you and then tell you what Betsy needs."

His eyes lit up. "You'll take her?"

Kitty shook her head, her smooth hair swaying, "Heavens no! Ask one of her God-parents. That's what you have them for. I'm sure Steven or Jackie will be glad to help."

Kelso seemed to brighten up. "Yeah…Steven stays home watching movies all night….this will get him out of the house."

"When is her next appointment with Dr. Lake?" Kitty inquired.

"Tuesday and Thursday at 4:30. It was hard for me to get off work for that, but my insurance is covering it." Kelso breathed. "I'll be dropping Betsy off at 2:30 on Monday. That's before my shift starts and I will pick her up to take her to school before I go to bed. I'm earning extra so does that means the babysitter gets a raise too?" he added with a waggling brow.

Kitty smiled. "Betsy is no problem. You go talk to your friends and figure out which one is taking your little girl to the doctor."

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"Well I'm not going." Hyde said adamantly. "I don't even go when I'm sick."

Fez shivered, "I love little Betsy, but I hate the idea of sitting on that cold metal table without my underwear."

Jackie looked at Fez and a look of disgust crossed her face, "You go naked to your exams? Why don't you wear that stupid paper gown?"

"Paper? On this body?" Fez questioned and declared, "Never!"

Kelso grinned, "Well I know what doctor I'm NOT ever taking Betsy to! Jackie, how about you? You're her favorite godmother."

Jackie was buffing her pinkie nail, "I'm her only godmother and I guess I can do it for a couple of weeks."

Kelso breathed a sigh of relief. "Good! Then you can explain the psycho-lingo to me. Thanks Jackie, I really appreciate it." He put his booted feet on the coffee table. "I'm glad I finally get to hang out with you guys. I just wish Eric would get that stick out of his butt and come over. Remember our circles?"

"Uncle Hyde, I can draw a circle!" Betsy yelled from behind the sofa. Properly chastised, all the adults lowered their voices and remembered the tender ears that were always listening. "Cool Bets. You draw Uncle Hyde a circle and I'll put it on the fridge."

Jackie smothered a giggle, "Oops. I forget that she hears."

Fez blinked. "Oh no! Now she knows Uncle Fez goes naked to the doctor."

Kelso laughed, "That's okay. She's seen worse."

Jackie and Steven looked at Kelso and then at Fez and wondered, what could be worse?

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Eric went over the lesson plan for the week and noticed that the little clique he had disbanded earlier in the month were passing notes and giggling. He had to nip this in the bud because there were some feelings that were going to be hurt. He calmly walked down the aisle between the desks and stopped in front of little Miss Amelia. He held out his hand. "Your note please."

Amelia tried to hide it in her lap. "Note? What note?" There were some quiet giggles. Eric leveled a stern glare, "Okay then, please stand up and tell the whole class what you and Miss Tina and Cindy Clemmons were giggling about."

Little Amelia's face turned red. "Nothing." She said quietly.

"The note please." Eric pressed.

Amelia looked at her two friends and frowned but handed the note to the teacher. Eric tapped the toe of his shoe. "I think it's time to rearrange the classroom don't you ladies?"

The whole class looked up with a "what?!" expression on their faces. Eric nodded with satisfaction. "Yes….we're going to move our desks into a big circle so everyone can see everyone else. Don't you think that's exciting? Then NOBODY has to HIDE in the back row. Everyone gets a front seat. In fact, Amelia, I'm putting you in charge of making sure the desks are moved before recess or no one gets to go outside today."

Eric tucked the secret note into his jacket pocket and went back to his desk amid the noises of screeching metal and groaning children. In Africa, it was a luxury to have a desk. If they were lucky, a bench was sweet. These kids were way more spoiled than he'd thought. Probably a lot like he was with Kelso and Hyde.

Small world.

Eric continued to grade the spelling tests while the students bemoaned sitting in a new location. All the children could see another student directly in front of them and there was no way to send a *secret* message without everyone else knowing about it.

"Eyes front." Eric instructed. He started to go over some vocabulary and then the recess bell rang. Within seconds, the third graders were flying out the door.

"I don't get it." Eric complained to Rhonda. "It's like they want to be vicious on purpose."

Rhonda sipped her chocolate milk thru the straw. "They're girls. Viciousness is like breathing, although some do it better than others. Who were they picking on?"

Eric pulled the note from his pocket and flattened out the paper. "Listen the this, 'Eddie Walters is a booger eater.'" Eric lifted his brow, "Why would they write it when everyone already know Eddie eats his boogers?"

Rhonda hid a chuckle. "Sounds like a teacher needs to take a little child psychology class. Remember Michael Kelso? He grew out of it, but us girls? We called him Icky Kelso for a few years."

Eric did recall Kelso went through a wiping his nose on the back of his hand phase but eating it? Yuck. He shook the memory. "So if I take this class, what can I expect?"

Rhonda grinned, "To know the inner workings of an 8-year-old brain and how to deal. There's an even class at Kenosha Prep. Call tomorrow and get registered. I think PP Elementary will pay for the class."

Eric finished off his slice of cafeteria pizza. "Thanks Rhonda. The kids here are definitely a different variety than what I'm used to!"

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Betsy sat on the sofa with her arms crossed and a pout on her face. Jackie cajoled, promised, bribed and did everything humanly possible to get the little girl to go to the car without actually picking her up and carrying Betsy outside. "Betsy, why not?"

Betsy looked at her Godmother and replied, "I don't like it. Daddy leaves me alone in there and plays with the toys."

Jackie could well imagine Michael Kelso doing just that. "But honey, I won't play with any games. In fact, I'll be right there waiting. Come on."

Betsy put a finger on her lip and declared, "I will only go if Stuffy goes with me."

Jackie smoothed back the curly chestnut hair, "Betsy, you can bring any toy you want to the doctor, but we have to go soon."

"Stuffy is not a toy." Betsy corrected.

Jackie shook her head in disbelief and walked into the kitchen. Kitty was preparing dinner, "What's taking so long?"

Jackie sat at the table and closed her eyes. "We can't leave without Stuffy. She's being stubborn and I don't even know what a Stuffy looks like."

Kitty smiled and walked to the basement door. "Eric, you need to help Betsy get in the car for her doctor appointment."

At the confused expression on Jackie's face, Kitty explained. "Eric is Stuffy and Betsy is Shorty. They have nicknames for each other – isn't that sweet?"

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Betsy sat happily in the backseat of Jackie's car and held onto Eric's hand. She found a kinship with her Uncle – they both were sad. Meanwhile Aunt Jackie just kept chattering about nonsense and Uncle Eric nodded when appropriate.

Jackie pulled into the small parking lot of the clinic and stopped. She looked in the rearview mirror and saw a healthy young six year old who should have been playing at a park instead of visiting a doctor. Brooke would not have wanted her daughter to be sad. "Let's go Betsy."

The small girl looked up at her uncle who nodded encouragingly. "I'll be there too." He promised. Betsy opened the seatbelt latch and climbed out of the car. With one hand, she grabbed onto Jackie's fingers and with her other, she held onto Eric. When the pair least expected it, Betsy lifted her legs in the air for a quick 'swing' as the adults groaned under the weighted surprise.

Jackie looked at Eric, "This isn't what I expected as a Godmother."

Eric replied, "And I'm the Odd father."

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