"Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured

by your belief in yourself."

… Robert Collier …

Chapter VI

Rin froze as she heard the words and her eyes narrowed slightly when Sesshoumaru sat up. Propping his elbows up on his knees, he buried his face in his hands in a way that made him seem a lot like a lost child. This was definitely not how she had expected him to respond. She hadn't been holding much hope for him to respond positively, but this was definitely far from what she had been expecting. There was no laughter and he wasn't telling her that she stood no chance of ever being with someone like him which was what she had prepared herself for. She was confused and slightly hurt by his words. Confused because she didn't understand what he meant and hurt because he didn't seem to have even considered the possibility of a relationship of any kind with her. Sighing softly, she closed her eyes as she tried not to jump to conclusions since she didn't really understand what he was talking about, but found it quite hard to control the part of her that wanted to lash out at him for saying such things. When she felt she had regained control of her emotions, Rin exhaled slowly and looked at the man sitting on the edge of the bed, his face still buried in his hands. He looked quite pitiful really and when she saw him like that, she could almost believe that he truly regretted the fact that he said there could be no relationship between them.

"I shouldn't want to be more than friends?" Rin queried, leaning back against the pillows and crossing her arms over her chest as she spoke. "You're not the sort I should associate with?"

"That's what I said," Sesshoumaru said, eventually looking at the woman lying in his bed.

"Don't you think I'm old enough to make those kind of decisions for myself?"

"Probably, but I thought it fair to warn you."

Rin sighed. "Alright then, why are you not the sort I should associate with? What is so bad about you that you felt the need to warn me?"

Sesshoumaru looked at her without saying anything for a moment. He had hoped that after saying what he did to her, she would leave the subject alone and they could return to the relationship they had had before even though he wished they could be more than friends. It had seemed too risky to enter into a relationship with this woman when he had so little experience with relationships. He had never had any relationship with a woman that had lasted more than a night and now he cursed himself for keeping women at such a distance for most of his life. If he had at least had one relationship before now, he would feel more at ease.

"I don't have long term relationships," Sesshoumaru said after a while.

Rin raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"I've never wanted one. It always seemed too troublesome."

"I see. So you'd take a woman to bed and discard her the next day?" Rin asked, her tone slightly frosty as she thought about the situation.

"Indeed."

"Why?"

"They wanted more than I was able to give. I cannot be the doting boyfriend they all wanted me to be. It was easier just to leave them than disappoint them."

There was silence for a short while as Rin thought over his words. She could understand that pushing away the women was his way of protecting himself from the heartbreak that would follow when they discovered he wasn't what they had originally thought, but that didn't explain why he slept with them all before pushing them away. Sighing in frustration, she exhaled loudly, blowing her hair out of her face as she did so.

"So why did you sleep with them first?" she demanded, frowning as she eyed him critically.

"They started as one night stands but the next day they'd demand more. You'd think I'd have learnt after a while," Sesshoumaru muttered, a hint of irritation in his voice.

Rin's gaze softened as she listened. She couldn't fault him for the way he was now if the women he had known before her had deceived him. The urge to reach out and wrap her arms around him was almost overwhelming, but she held herself in check since there were still things she didn't understand.

"So, I'm guessing you didn't warn those women that you don't have long term relationships beforehand," Rin said, tapping her lower lip thoughtfully as she spoke.

"No."
"Then why tell me? Why am I different?"

"I told you because I didn't want to hurt you," Sesshoumaru said softly, looking down at his hands.

"But hurting all those other women doesn't matter?"

"I'm not going to make myself unhappy to please someone else."

"That still doesn't explain why you warned me."

"I've never been in a long term relationship, Rin," Sesshoumaru murmured, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. "My inexperience could end up hurting you and I wanted to prevent that. I cannot be the boyfriend you want."

"How do you know what I look for in a man?" Rin asked with narrowed eyes. "What if you're what I look for in a man?"

"I can't be."

Any understanding Rin had was quickly disappearing as she glared at the quiet man sitting beside her. He didn't seem to realise just how much he had to offer woman and how lucky any woman would be just to have any sort of relationship with him, but he seemed to be bent on refusing to acknowledge that she was interested in him. Sesshoumaru was giving her the distinct impression that he didn't want a relationship of any sort and she was beginning to feel stupid just for still being in his apartment.

Deciding not to even bother to reply to his statement, Rin found strength from somewhere and ripped the covers back. Sesshoumaru eyes widened at the motion and his gaze followed her figure as she rose to her feet and made her way towards the door with an unreadable expression on her face. Frowning slightly, he too rose to his feet and followed her as she made her way back to the kitchen and he realised that she was making a beeline for her now clean and dry clothes that still sat in the dryer. Bending down, she fished out her clothes and walked past him into the bathroom without a word. Once alone in the bathroom, Rin released a shaky sigh and slid down to the floor. She had been unwilling to show him how hurt she had been by his words and as she hastily wiped a stray tear that made its way down her cheek; she cursed herself for crying over a man she barely knew. Taking a deep breath, she pulled on her clothes and carefully folded the shirt she had been wearing before slipping out of the bathroom and into the bedroom to pull on her shoes.

"What are you doing?" Sesshoumaru asked, leaning against the doorframe as he watched her fumble with the buckles on her shoes.

"Leaving," Rin said quietly. "I'm sorry to have imposed on you."

She rose to her feet and Sesshoumaru mused that she was now steady on her feet in those incredibly high heels and wasn't finding her ability to stand upright as funny as she had done the night before. He didn't move from where he stood in the doorway and simply looked down at Rin when she stopped in front of him, waiting for him to move out of the way so she could leave. Her full lips formed a thin line that clearly showed her distress and her eyes didn't shine with the usual mischief and life.

Frowning slightly, Sesshoumaru uncrossed his arms and took a step toward Rin. Her eyes widened slightly and she took a step back and then another as Sesshoumaru continued to advance on her. Eventually, she felt the soft covers of the bed against the backs of her legs when she tried to take another step backward. Losing her balance, she sat down heavily on the bed and stared up at the tall man who towered above her. A shiver of anticipation ran down her spine as Sesshoumaru leaned down towards her, a strong arm on either side of her trapped her in place and she found herself breathless as she gazed into calm amber eyes.

"You didn't let me finish explaining," Sesshoumaru said softly, his eyes dropping to her plump lips before rising to her eyes again.

"There's nothing more to explain," Rin murmured, looking away.

"There's a lot more to explain."

"Perhaps you should start then?"

Sesshoumaru smirked and started to lean towards her slowly. "I would not turn away from the opportunity to be in a relationship with you."

"Then what's the problem?" Rin breathed, her eyes wide as he slowly drew closer to her.

"I don't want to hurt you with my inexperience."

"You won't get any experience if you don't try to have a relationship."

"I just don't want to hurt you."

Rin sighed and leaned back against the bed. She couldn't help the small smile that crossed her face as she looked at him and thought about how he was so determined not to hurt her. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at her smile and smirked slightly as he wondered what she was thinking. He paused his advance and watched as she propped herself up on her elbows and gave him a soft smile.

"I understand," she said, her smile becoming mischievous. "But I'm not going to give up on you."

"Is that so?" Sesshoumaru queried with a smirk.

"It is," Rin confirmed. "You will see things my way eventually."

"How do you plan to accomplish that then?"

"I have ways."

The mischievous look on her face was so amusing that Sesshoumaru couldn't resist the low laugh that escaped his lips. Rin's eyes widened at the sound and she stared at him in surprise before regaining her composure and grinning at him. Without warning, she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down with her as she fell back onto the bed. They lay in a tangle of limbs for a moment before Sesshoumaru rolled onto his side and wrapped an arm around Rin's waist when she snuggled into his side and rested her head against his shoulder. She sighed in contentment and he responded by rubbing gentle circles on her back.

"I have a proposition for you," Sesshoumaru said quietly after a moment of silence.

"Oh?" Rin asked, propping herself on an elbow to look as his face.

"I will agree to a relationship with you if you can prove to me that I won't end up hurting you."

Rin frowned slightly. "How am I supposed to do that?"

"You have ways apparently," Sesshoumaru said with a smirk.

"Alright, I'll agree to that. You won't go back on your word?"

"No, I won't."

"Good! I will change your mind!"

Despite agreeing to Sesshoumaru's proposition, Rin wasn't entirely sure how she was going to proceed. She was definitely going to make him change her mind, but she had no idea what to do next. Sesshoumaru had given her a lift home after their discussion that day and it had been just over three days since she had seen him. They had agreed to exchange contact details, but Rin highly doubted that she would hear anything from Sesshoumaru.

Sighing dramatically, she sat down heavily on her bed and stared at her reflection in a nearby mirror as she tried to decide what to do. It was obvious that she wouldn't be able to manage this alone so she would have to seek help from someone. The question was who she could trust enough to help her. She had only a handful of female friends and she had already ruled out getting help from any of her male friends since they would probably tease her mercilessly. It would also help if the person who helped her knew Sesshoumaru since she wouldn't have to try and describe him as that would be almost impossible. Rin tapped her fingers irritably on the soft surface of the bed until a smile crossed her face as she came to a decision.

The next day, she paused outside the station building where Sesshoumaru worked and looked up at it thoughtfully before going inside. Rin had taken the time to dress for today and knew that she was definitely eye-catching in her current outfit. Stepping into the office where the only women worked, she was surprised to find not one, but two men lounging in the seats usually occupied by women.

"Can I help you, Miss?" the dark haired man said eagerly as he saw her.

"Um, I came to visit someone, is that alright?" Rin asked uncertainly as she noticed that the other man bore a striking resemblance to Sesshoumaru.

The man who had caught her attention looked up from the magazine he had been looking at and looked at her with golden eyes. His gaze drifted from her to his companion and he sighed heavily as he rolled his magazine up. Leaning forward, he smacked his companion hard over the head with the magazine before pushing his chair away from the door where Rin stood and moving his own chair into the now empty space. Rin tilted her head slightly as she watched the dark haired man clutching his head at the back of the room and muttering colourful curses while the silver haired man simply opened up a large book that sat on the desk and pushed it towards her.

"Put your name there," he said gruffly, pointing to a line near the bottom of the page before gesturing to a door just outside the little office. "Put the time as well and then head through that door. Most of the guys will be on the first room on the right."

"Thanks," Rin murmured before heading out the door.

Sesshoumaru sighed as he leaned back against wall in the makeshift gym the other men had created in one of the rooms at the station. Sweat made his hair cling to his skin even though he had tied it back before beginning his usual workout. He pushed his bangs out of his eyes and sighed again. The sound of laughter and wolf whistles caught his attention a couple of moments later and he wondered what had made his workmates to cheerful. Getting to his feet, he walked out the door and down towards the staff room where all the noise was coming from. Kouga looked out of the locker room as he walked past and Sesshoumaru paused to speak to his friend.

"What's all the noise about?" Kouga asked, stepping into the corridor clad in only a pair of trousers and a towel around his shoulders that indicated he had just emerged from the shower.

"No idea," Sesshoumaru said with a shrug.

His curiosity getting the better of him, Sesshoumaru made his way towards the staff room once again with Kouga in tow. The walked into the room to find all the men gathered near the back of the room and they all seemed to be talking at once. Sesshoumaru glanced at Kouga who merely shrugged before walking towards the rowdy group.

"What's going on here?" Sesshoumaru asked, his voice raising enough to be heard over the ruckus.

"Nothin' much," one man said with a grin as he turned to look at Sesshoumaru.

A silver eyebrow rose as Sesshoumaru heard the words, but he didn't comment since his attention was drawn to the cause of the noise. Sitting demurely between two tall burly men was Rin. She was smiling cheerfully as she talked to the men and listened to their stories. Sesshoumaru shook his head as he took in her appearance. Her long slim legs were clad in black tights and her denim skirt was, in his opinion, far too short to be worn in public. Her shirt was white and the buttons undone enough to show a little of her tantalising cleavage. Almost immediately, he felt like covering her with a jacket and hiding her from view, but he wasn't given enough time to act on his thoughts. Rin spotted him and her smile grew as she jumped to her feet and came over to him, reaching up to kiss his cheek gently.

"What are you doing here, Rin?" Sesshoumaru asked, his eyes narrowing as he noticed the lustful looks she was receiving from the other men.

"I have business here today," she replied, only being half-truthful.

"You have business here today?" Sesshoumaru queried, his voice betraying his disbelief.

"Why don't we have this discussion somewhere else?" Kouga suggested before ushering the pair out the door and into the locker room.

He made his way to his open locker and pulled out a clean shirt, which he pulled on before returning to the pair who were now sitting silently on the benches nearby. Kouga resisted the urge to sigh at the pair when he realised that it seemed that his little trick the other night had not solved anything. Pulling up a chair, he sat down heavily.

"What's going on, Rin?" Kouga asked, speaking to the woman for the first time.

"Like I said, I have business here today," Rin replied with a smile.

"Your business requires you to sit in a room full of men in a skimpy outfit?" Sesshoumaru demanded with a frown.

"No, it doesn't," Rin said. "I didn't know where you two were so I thought it was probably best if I didn't go wandering around."

"What is the business you have here today?" Kouga asked, stepping in before an argument broke out.

"Oh!" she exclaimed as though only just remembering. "My agency sent me here to ask if it was alright to use the premises for a photo shoot."

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at her words and Kouga looked surprised, but reached out for the papers she held out to him. He read through them briefly and nodded his head, confirming that she wasn't making up a story. Sesshoumaru palmed his face as he tried very hard not to imagine what kind of photo shoot she would be involved in next. The last few hadn't been very successful, but he supposed that if something did go up in flames, it could be dealt with easily.

"I'll have to discuss this with the higher ups," Kouga said slowly as he read the papers. "Do you need to know today?"

"No, tomorrow will be fine," Rin said with a smile.

"That was your business?" Sesshoumaru asked, hoping that she hadn't planned anything else.

"That's part of it."

"What's the rest?"

"The rest involves Kouga actually."

Kouga looked up at the sound of his name but was completely baffled. He glanced at Sesshoumaru, hoping to find some clue about what was going on but he found none. Sighing, he folded the papers and put them in his pocket before turning his attention to the smiling woman.

"What involves me?" he asked warily.

"I'd like Ayame's number if you don't mind," Rin said, her smile growing.

"Uh, sure," Kouga replied in confusion before hastily scribbling it down for her.

"Thank you, that will definitely help."

"Help?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"Nothing," Rin replied sweetly, giving him a sly wink as she rose to her feet. "I'll be back sometime tomorrow to hear the verdict on the photo shoot."

The two men watched in silence as she smiled at them over her shoulder before heading out the door, her hips swaying enticingly as she walked. Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed as he watched her disappear. Something didn't sit well with him and he began to wonder if it had anything to do with the deal they had made the other day. Kouga clapped him on the back and whistled.

"I don't know what you did, Sesh," he said, eyes wide in amazement. "But I don't think you're going to win this battle."

"There is no battle."

"Really?"

"Just a deal."

"You chose the wrong woman to make a deal with," Kouga said with a laugh. "What kind of deal did you make?"

"An interesting one. It seems she's taking it a lot more seriously than I initially thought."

"You're not going to win this one, Sesh. It'll probably be better to give in to what she wants."

"No. I want to see what she's planning."