Chapter Six

Aedan's Rose Thorns

Desert of Doors

When they returned to the upstairs chamber along with the now named mage the group were about ready to ask their questions about this place. Teagan explained that Durion had already told him all he knew or at least all he admitted to knowing. The Bann was the one to give them an explanation on the desert and what was called the Abyss of Time. They were told that a rupture had occurred within the Fade and on the night the Archdemon died a hole had been ripped across the Veil causing this place to be created.

As Aedan listened to Durion telling them about the function of the Memory Door all he could think about was having to relive moments from his life that he wanted to remain dead and buried. Would he see his family's brutal murder at Howe's hands again or will the others see how much his sister's death truly affected him. After Ostagar he, Darrian, Solona and Alistair had to find a safe place to rest and plan their next move.

Lothering had been the nearest town and they followed Morrigan to the place which was now a home for fleeing refugees. In truth Aedan had never wanted this mission, he didn't even want to become a Grey Warden but he had little choice when Howe destroyed his life. He only took Duncan's offer out of revenge and it was that rage which fuelled him, kept him going when nothing else would. But there was always another who kept him strong, gave him what he needed to get through all this.

Alistair had been right beside him from the moment they met. He didn't like to lead men but he was a loyal soldier who followed Aedan's orders without question. But more than that he was someone to talk to and when the grief finally caught up to Aedan it was Alistair who pulled him back from the brink of oblivion.

It was after that time when the demon had taken control of the Magi Tower and they had gotten trapped within the Fade, helpless puppets at the whim of the Sloth Demon. Aedan wouldn't buy this cheap imitation of life and he broke free to find his friends and kill the demon in question. Wynne had been tormented by the deaths of the young mages while Shale had once again become simply a statue. Alistair had been bought into the dream of a happy life with his older sister Goldana and Aedan had been forced to break his best friend out of the trance.

It was when they faced the demon did Aedan's own nightmare come to life. In his heart he knew that there was a chance Elissa and Fergus did not survive Ostagar but when the Sloth Demon tempted him with a chance to have the life he should have led with his family all there and smiling he had lost total control.

It was on their way back to camp when Aedan snuck off into the forest and sat next to a small stream and he just let out all the tears he could manage. He would have given anything to hear Fergus tease him about crying when he was supposed to be a strong man. He wanted Elissa to be there making daisy chains which she then put into his hair driving him mad in the process. He wanted to see his sister-in-law and little Oren again and tell him how much he loved both of them.

He wanted to see his parents again, to feel his mother wrap her arms around him and hear his father's soothing voice. He just wanted his family back. Aedan didn't know how much time had passed as he sat there and sobbed for the life that had been cruelly ripped away from him. None of this was fair or right. And for one insane moment he thought about ending it all. He had even taken hold of the small knife he kept attached to his boot and brought it up to his wrist.

Then like always Alistair came and stopped him, he had torn away the knife and started screaming at Aedan until he couldn't breathe. The ex-templar just sat next to his best friend and listened to what he had to say when Aedan just stared up at him with dead eyes. Alistair had lost Duncan yes and that had hurt so badly but to lose your family in such a manner and then bottling up all those emotions had finally driven Aedan to the brink.

The last Cousland boy just wanted to stop hurting like this all the time. Having people depend on him like this was too much. Then Alistair had calmly told him that he was not alone in this, he had never been alone. Darrian and Solona were trying as hard as they could to help create this army for Ferelden. They too had lost so much before their Joining. They all shared a pain none of the others could be privy to, not right now.

Aedan listened as Alistair told him to stop taking everything onto his own shoulders and to let the others help too. Darrian was a skilled rogue and made a fine leader and Solona was of royal blood for Maker's sake. She could lead men as effectively as any of them. Aedan didn't have to do any of this by himself. As the night wore on Aedan felt a weight being lifted from his shoulders as Alistair let him know how much the others wanted to help. He had been so wrapped up in his own anger and grief he hadn't even taken the time to see how much the others were affected too.

Darrian could never go home because of what happened on his ruined wedding day and Solona had also lost her family but to the hands of her brother. To be betrayed by kin is a pain too unbearable to explain. Aedan had wiped his eyes and smiled brokenly but thanked Alistair for all he had said and made him see. The former templar promised to keep what happened tonight a secret. Aedan had been about to go back to the camp when Alistair held something out t him.

"Here look at this. Do you know what this is?" he asked when he handed Aedan a small flower.

"It's a rose..." the Cousland warrior stared at the beautiful red rose in his hands unsure of what to make of it. "Is this a trick?"

"Yes, that's right. I'm trying to trick you. Is it working?" Alistair had an adorable blush painting his cheeks about now.

"So you've had this the whole time?" Aedan smiled a little.

"I picked it in Lothering. I know I probably show have left it but I just couldn't." Alistair looked a little sheepish. "I remember thinking how could something so beautiful exist in all this despair and ugliness."

"I-It's amazing Alistair. I'm glad you took it from that place." Aedan inwardly cursed when his voice started to shake a little.

"I'm glad you like it." The former templar looked relieved. "I was just thinking here I am doing all this complaining and all the time you've been in so much pain. You never once got a word of thanks or seen the good things about being a Grey Warden. It's all been death and fighting and tragedy."

"Alistair..." Aedan breathed out.

"I just wanted to say something, to tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all this darkness." He smiled a little at the Warden causing Aedan's heart to jump and butterflies started dancing in his belly.

"No one's ever given me something like this before..." Aedan looked down at the fragile flower in his hands.

"I know it was impulsive...was it the wrong thing to do?" Alistair sounded shy all of a sudden. Aedan couldn't help but admire how adorable he was at the moment.

"No it wasn't. Thank you so much Alistair." Feeling a little bold and so very grateful Aedan leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his fellow Warden's forehead.

"W-Well now that that's out of the way shall we head back?" Alistair's face was now bright red which caused Aedan to laugh a little. "You laughed." Alistair said with awe. "I've never heard you laugh before, not like that."

"I guess I didn't feel like I had anything to feel happy about at the time." Aedan admitted softly. "It still hurts Alistair but..." he stared at his best friend. "You just made it all bearable."

"I'm at your service." He nodded with a smile. "Let's head back before Sirius comes looking for you."

Aedan was pulled from his memories when his fingers wrapped around the golden locket he kept secure round his neck. He had been so afraid of losing the rose and in time it would have wilted away. During one of their trips into Denerim he had bought a golden locket then crushed the red petals and gently placed them into the necklace. He carried it with him everywhere now. It was his good luck charm and a reminder that he was never alone in the world.

Thinking back to that time five years ago Aedan had always felt different around Alistair from the moment he found him annoying a mage. He had been the only one to see the pain he had been in. Aedan honestly didn't know where he would be now without Alistair in his life. What would his life be like now if Alistair had died that night instead of Darrian?

The Warden swallowed thickly just thinking about it. He couldn't imagine a world without Alistair in it now. He stared at a silent Zevran and he wondered how the elf kept going. Zevran had never shown his true feelings about anything except when he was around Darrian. The red head had the ability to bring out a different side to people and with Zevran it was a chance to mend a broken heart. Aedan sighed sadly as he looked into those empty hazel eyes.

Was this how he would have looked like if it had been Alistair who died fighting the Archdemon? No, no he knew in his heart what he would have done. The Taint would kill him in thirty years anyway but he wouldn't face those three decades alone. Zevran was a lot stronger than he gave himself credit for because Aedan knew that if he had lost Alistair he would have followed after him. A world without his lover wasn't one worth living in.

"So you want us to find and destroy these Guardians so the breach can be fixed, right?" Alistair summed up what the mage had told them. "Why does that not sound as simple as I would like?"

"Since when is anything that simple?" Aedan pointed out.

"It's either this or I go back to my original plan." Durion crossed his arms. "So which will it be?"

"I don't know about the rest of you but I happen to like being alive." Alistair muttered. "But more than that I want to know about you."

"What about me?" Durion scowled.

"Are you a demon or a spirit of the Fade?" Leliana questioned him. "You wear the face of someone we all loved and lost. To look upon you now is very unsettling."

"I was born into this world with no choice about my appearance." The mage looked away. "I already told you about how I woke up here and what I needed to do. Why I have your friend's face is beyond me."

"I find it all fascinating." Shale admitted. "It's very existence is a miracle."

"Miracle or not there is powerful forces at work here." Leliana said.

"It doesn't matter." Zevran interrupted them sharply. "Let's destroy these Guardians and go home."

"Zevran!" Aedan turned to him.

"It's not as if we have much of a choice correct?" the blond elf asked. "The sooner we get this done the better."

"He's right." Aedan muttered despite his own misgivings.

There was still too much left unanswered about this entire affair. First this place the Abyss of Time and the Archdemon's death created a breach in the Veil. It all seemed too much to take in at once but Zevran was more than willing to venture back into the Desert of Doors. And there was the matter of Durion himself. What exactly was this creature and what was his true purpose?

For now they would find these Guardians and defeat them but until they found a way back out of here then Aedan would keep a close eye on Durion. He was keeping things from them, that much was obvious but with those magical powers he was too strong to confront directly.

"Are you alright?" Alistair's warm breath caressed his ear.

"What are we doing here Alistair?" Aedan faced his love. "I can't get my head around any of this. The Abyss and that desert and Durion. Maker's breath what are we doing here? We fought the Darkspawn and ended a Blight. Didn't we lose enough for Ferelden?"

"I know." Alistair whispered. "But Zevran does have a point. If we kill these Guardians then maybe we can find out more about Durion in the process, right?"

"Yes, but I want to know more about Durion. Alistair, keep an eye on Zevran for me." Aedan pleaded with the taller man.

"You have my word. Let's catch up to the others." The blond man smiled and pressed a kiss against red lips. "We'll find a way out, I promise you."

"Because you want the cheese when it goes on sale tomorrow?" Aedan teased.

"Seriously?" Alistair's eyes lit up. "There's a cheese sale?"

"That's why I love you." Aedan laughed as he walked to the staircase. "You're still that adorable handsome idiot I met five years ago."

"I'm not an idiot!" Alistair called then pouted as he chased after the others. "Well, at least he called me handsome."

This chapter was written as a gift for Night Xiniall. You wanted to know more about Alistair and Aedan and here is the product.

Of course you do realise that this is bribe material for you to write chapter three to your story.

I was thinking maybe getting Lerein to confront Alistair about that little comment he made at the end of chapter two. Ohh, how about when the other Crows come after Lerein to fulfil the contract for Loghain and we get to see how nasty Zevran can be when someone he loves is threatened. Or you could just appease my perverted fangirl and give me a lovely threesome....just a thought.

Anyway next chapter coming up is another door and the next Guardian is another very familiar face.

Till next time my dear readers.