A/N: Hello, all. I apologise this is so late. I'm afraid my personal life spun out of control. (The tip of the iceberg being my mom discovering the corpse of a colleague of ours in the bathroom...) Unfortunately, too, now that University is starting up again, for both me and my beta, I will not be able to even attempt regular weekly updates. I will be writing every time I can, (I love it too much not to), but I don't know how regular new chapters will come. On the bright side though, I have already written the next chapter, it's been betaed, and all that's left is the editing, so that should be up within the week! :D I hope you all enjoy this chap, it's one I've been looking forward to writing for some time.

Chapter 6: Seeing the Light

When Natsume awoke in the early hours of the morning—the ones you would call night, but technically weren't—he panicked. Where was he? What happened? Why was everything so dark? He felt like there was a weight pressing down on him, crushing him into the bed. Then he remembered: The bullets whizzing, the shock, the fear. Perhaps he had never forgotten, and that's why waking in darkness had so terrified him, so upset him. It was the constant understanding he carried with him that he was dangling over the canyon of death. Sometimes the thought of letting go was tempting, no panic, no exhausting fight. Death would be, should be, a release from darkness. He felt slightly guilty thinking it. He didn't want to die; he just wanted to be free.

He sat up slightly and checked his surroundings, what little he could sense of them. There was a beep to his left from the machine monitoring his heart. There was an IV port in his arm, but fortunately it wasn't hooked up. He hated those. You could never move when wearing them, or the needles would pull at your arm, and bruise worse than they already had. It was double trouble if you were thrashing in a nightmare. He was also wearing a Johnny shirt. He hated those things too. Stumbling out of bed, he fumbled around in the drawer of the night table looking for pajamas of some kind. If he didn't have IVs in him, the nurses would usually let him get away with wearing them. He put them on quickly, grateful he didn't have to fight with buttons, and fell asleep again the moment his head hit the pillow. It was fortunate. He'd almost cried when he realised his healing Alice stone hadn't been there. Had he lost that too?

He was running in the dark. A long shadow cast behind him. He must be running towards the light, but he couldn't see it, couldn't find it. How can you see a shadow in the dark? Was it the ramifications of his actions left behind, chasing him, haunting him? No! It was from a spotlight. He could see it now. It was shining right on him, lighting him up. Everyone could see him. Everyone could see him, and nothing was hidden. It was worse than being naked. He ran and he ran, but the light wouldn't come off him. They could all see him, scrutinise him, know what he'd done, who he was. It was all revealed. He was a bug under a microscope of their judgement. Whispers followed him everywhere. He could hear every single one.

"Murderer."

Shut up! Go away!

"Do you guys even know what the Dangerous Ability group does under the radar?"

Everyone, everyone just go away!

"Natsume, this is a mission." He saw Persona's silhouette. "Don't try and get out of it. Should you try..." Persona stretched out his hand, and Natsume's heart raced in terror. He tried to move his legs, but he couldn't move, couldn't run. The only thing racing was his heart.

Aoi...

His eyes shot open. He was breathing as if from heavy exertion. It was just a dream. How long was this nightmare going to chase after him? Was there an end to nightmares? Go to sleep and have them. Wake up and have them. Do enjoy your life! Natsume placed his forearm over his clammy forehead, and sighed. This wasn't looking to be a good day. He closed his eyes and rolled over, groaning as he did so. Fucking hell, everything ached.

His inauspicious start was vindicated when Shouda, (the sister), and Lucas came to visit. He was pleased to see Lucas, of course, it was good to see his friend after waking up alone in the dark. (Well, he was always that, but at least he wasn't alone in the dark.) He didn't want Lucas to see him like this though, but then you never can have everything. Shouda, on the other hand, was not someone you wanted to see when you were sick. Frankly, she wasn't someone he felt he wanted to see ever.

"Natsume!" She shrieked when she saw him. It gave him a headache. "I was so, so worried when I heard you were in the hospital, but at least Mr. Narumi said I could visit you as a gesture of friendship." Natsume rolled his eyes. "Here, please accept these roses." She added giving him the bouquet.

"I don't want them." He grumbled, and threw them at her head. She looked a bit dismayed, and muttered something about boy will be boys, put them in a vase on his night table, and sat down with a distinct slump to her shoulders. He didn't feel guilty-really.

They started chatting. They meaning they and not him. He got into a hacking fit as they were talking about Reo Mouri, the famous Hollywood singer, and alumni of Alice Academy. He was supposed to be visiting here today, to see about doing a show during the Alice Festival. Natsume couldn't really say he cared one way or another, but if Shouda was there, it meant Lucas wouldn't ask tough questions and he could just appreciate his presence. What's more, if she kept gabbing on like that, he wouldn't be expected to talk. He did not want to talk. He never did, and he generally preferred it when other people were willing to keep up their end of the conversation without expectations of him. He was glad when they left; he was sad that they went.

A knock came on the door not ten minutes later, as he was dozing again, which was rather odd. Normally, people just barged in here. Why care about the wants and needs of the Academy dog? Feeling a bit on edge, his suspicions aroused, he was about to tell them to enter when they came of their own accord. That was more like it, until he realised it was Reo and a couple of others-maybe bodyguards? His hair stood on end. Perhaps he should have paid more attention earlier. What was going on? Surely they weren't here to entertain him? This wasn't right, couldn't be right, unless it was meant to be patronising humiliation.

"Natsume," Reo said in a soothing voice, which was unsurprising given he had the Voice Pheromone Alice. "Calm down." Natsume felt himself doing so. What was he so worried about anyway? Reo was just paying him a visit is all. Did the whys really matter if they got to spend time together?

Reo walked up close and pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket. "I've wanted to meet you for quite some time. The infamous son of Kaoru Igarashi. I never worked with her personally, of course, but I knew her by reputation. I dare say you'll find we have a lot in common."

That was good, Natsume thought feeling dumbstruck, and he'd like to know more about his mother.

Reo sat on the bed, grabbed his arm and pushed him down. It felt like waking up, and Natsume started to struggle through the pheromone fog. It was no different than fighting Naru, really, but it was no use. He was weak. The moment he took a deep breath, he found the handkerchief over his nose, and the smell of chloroform was the last thing he knew before passing out.

When Natsume woke up, he could barely hold his eyes up. It was dark again, but beneath him was hard concrete; his hands were tied tightly behind his back, his feet were bound as well. Next to him he could hear movement, whispers, and grunts. With taxing effort exploding into a splitting headache, Natsume looked over. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw: The back of Polka's head as she tried to undo Shouda's bonds with her teeth. God, no, did they get kidnapped too? Of all the people to be stuck with her, and the idiotic president of his idiotic fan club. He must have groaned out loud, because Sakura cried out,

"Permy, Permy!"

"Don't I keep telling you it's not Permy!"

"Natsume's awake."

"Really? Oh, Natsume, thank goodness! I wasn't sure what happened and I was so worried, so worried, so worried, so worried..."

Sakura was talking over Shouda's hysteria. He could see her lips moving, but the sound just washed over him. They were going to get him killed. They were going to get themselves killed. He was going to have to take charge as usual, and they weren't even trained.

He sat up and flinched away from the pain, as if it were a physical blow he could avoid. The funny thing about it was it ached from a place so deep within his body, it almost didn't hurt at all. He thought he could ignore it were it not for the rolling in his stomach that told him he needed to puke. Natsume almost wished he could. He knew from experience sometimes up-chucking made it feel better, if only for a short while. Then he could lie down on the cold floor and let the breeze on his sweat cool him down. Unfortunately, that definitely wasn't an option. He needed to get his bearings. Where were they?

"It seems like this is a warehouse on the bay. It smells like the ocean."

Now that brought back memories. He inhaled deeply. His dad had brought Aoi and him to see the ocean once, just once, to honour their mother's memory. He said Kaoru would have wanted them to see it. Alices weren't supposed to go anywhere near the ocean, at least not without government approval and protection. It was believed it would give foreign powers, or terrorist factions, an opportunity to grab them. Basking in the rebellion of being there without all that, Natsume had long associated the sound of waves, (which he'd never heard in person again), and the smell of salt with freedom. Of course, now he had the uncomfortable feeling that, just this once, the government's concerns might be right, and the ocean was about to become a source of their damnation. He couldn't afford the errant memories, he reminded himself firmly. Useless reminiscing would only get him killed; he needed to focus. His sluggish thoughts were just a sign of his deteriorated state. Focus. How do we get out of here?

"There are two exits out of the warehouse." Shouda confirmed. Natsume was pleased she'd had the presence of mind to know that. "But one is blocked by luggage. I tried to use my Alice to get a scope of the environment around outside the warehouse, but for some reason it just wouldn't work." Natsume laid back down, unable to hold himself up anymore, and closed his eyes as she continued. "I think one of Reo's group probably is a Barrier Alice who can block our abilities. If that's the case, there's probably a barrier around the entire warehouse. We can't even use our Alices, and if, thanks to the barrier, the Academy can't find here, we have to find some way to escape before the smuggling boat comes."

The smuggling boat...God he hated being right.

"Ouch!" Permy complained as Sakura kept digging into the ropes around her wrists with her teeth. She'd been complaining for a while, maybe she should try getting Polka's ropes off? Perhaps...wait…

"Hey, idiot!"

"Don't call me idiot!"

"Hey, you, those pandas on your ears, what are they?"

"Huh, at a time like this…." Sakura muttered angrily at him. "These are "communication earmuffs" I got from Hotaru…." She trailed off.

Yeah, she definitely was an idiot.

"Have you tried turning them on?" He drawled.

"Uh, no." She looked sheepish. "I'll just turn them on now."

Behind her Permy rolled her eyes in disdain.

Mikan flicked the switch and brought the mike down to her mouth.

"Hotaru, Hotaru, is that you?"

"Yes, this is Hotaru." He heard the reply faintly. "Mikan, I see you finally turned the switch on." God, he loved sarcasm, but why did they have communication earmuffs in the first place? Then it became clear...Permy had been in the hospital to visit him. They must have chased after when he was kidnapped...It was pretty clear, he'd been Reo's primary, if not only target...He would have felt grateful, even touched, if it didn't just mean more variables he had to handle.

"Miss Imai!" He heard Naru shout in the background. "You got in contact with them!"

"For some reason, the peanut gallery is a bit loud, so I'll switch you over. " Imai continued without a hitch. "But more importantly, are you alright?"

"Yeah, we're tied up but we're fine."

"Good, I'm switching."

"Hello? Mikan? It's me. Can you hear me?"

"Mr. Narumi!" Mikan choked up a bit. "Teacher…"

"I've heard most of the story from Miss Imai. It must have been a difficult ordeal. Are all three of you unharmed?"

"You know what? You know what? We're in some kind of warehouse somewhere." Sakura blurted out. He was glad she'd at least had the sense to focus on where they were, and things that could help them. She'd already confirmed with Imai their physical status. "Oh! But Natsume's condition is still pretty bad." He hated her.

"We're pretending to be be unconscious, and we're still tied up with rope." Permy put in her two cents.

"On top of that, there's something like a barrier put up around here, so we can't use our Alices. Also, also," Sakura continued, stumbling over her words in her haste and adrenaline.

"Keep your voice quiet, really quiet!" Narumi directed. "Mikan, talking out loud is dangerous so from here on just listen silently. All three of you should continue pretending to be unconscious. Keep your mike switched on so we can hear your situation over there over here. About the ropes around your feet and hands, while we're trying to pinpoint your position, try, under your own power, to tear or untie them. If that's impossible, this isn't a really good plan, but have Natsume push himself to burn the ropes. It'll be a huge stress on his already taxed body, but...it only needs to be small flame. If it's too big the barrier will quiver, and the enemy will be on to you. If Natsume uses his full power, the barrier should collapse."

Natsume had started to burn his ropes off from the first word. He knew there was no other way they were going to be able to get it off. They'd already been trying the other way to no avail. He groaned as the backlash of the barrier rippled through his body, flaying it apart.

"After you've slipped your ropes, continue your pretense of being tied up, until you've got an absolute chance of escaping."

He was legit surprised Narumi was talking sense for once. He seemed to know exactly what he was talking about. Wow! Natsume grunted, rolled over, and started undoing Sakura's ropes. She gasped in surprise. He stayed focused with single-minded attention that was about the only thing keeping him from giving in to blacking out.

"Also, there are two very important things, so listen close. The first is, as much as is possible, don't enlighten the enemy to your Alices. If the enemy knows your Alices, it will be easier for them to defend against them, and will put us at a significant disadvantage."

He got her ropes off and rolled over onto his back again, trying to breath. Polka started on Permy's ropes.

"Hurry up and untie them!" She barked out, and Natsume realised Polka was staring at him looking concerned. He was fine. She should focus on other things.

"...whatever happens, you can't listen to Reo's voice. If you listen…"

A hand shot out and ripped the earmuffs off Mikan's head. Fuck, it was Reo.

"I see. So these were a communication device."

Sweat poured down Natsume's face, and he was panting as he raised an arm, ultimately laying it down on his chest. He felt like his bones were made of lead and his flesh of rubber. He was heavy and floppy and just couldn't seem to move. Reo must have noticed the gesture, because he turned to face him. His eyes were red like Natsume's, maybe a shade lighter, and they looked demonic. Idly Natsume wondered if he looked quite so menacing and inhuman to people too.

"To be in such a weakened state, and still be able to sway Shidou's barrier, you really are beast. Still," he lifted the mike up so the Academy personnel could hear him, "with the damage you received from the backlash there shouldn't be any significant power or strength left in you." He smiled at the mike and looked away from Natsume. "It's been a long time Mr. Narumi."

"Reo…" Came the aghast reply. Natsume couldn't believe they knew each other. It made sense they might have crossed paths-almost all Alices ended up at the Academy eventually, and they would have been in the same ability group too-but the tone in Narumi's voice spoke of a familiarity that went beyond that, and it freaked Natsume out.

"I apologise for up and taking custody of your precious students, Senpai, but I'm afraid the day I return them to you won't come." He stuck his tongue out. "Ever." For all his joviality, his tone sounded harsh as ice.

"Reo...Why would you be in Z?"

"Are you surprised?" Reo chuckled cruelly. "But then, I'm surprised on my end too. Why would a person like you settle for being the Principal's dog? Of the two of us, I thought you would have been a person of this side. "

"Re-" Whatever Narumi was going to say, it was cut of as Reo chucked the ear muffs to the ground, breaking them. "Anyways," he said drawing the word out, as his lackeys started making suggestions.

"Shall we tie them up again?"

"No, it's okay. Shidou, weaken the barrier only in this location."

"Mr. Reo, that's…"

"It's fine. We have to teach them," he continued as he loosened a stud earring that must have been helping keep his Alice in check, "even if they aren't tied up with rope, they can't resist." He walked up to them and started talking, imbuing his words with his Alice in a way that was soothing, attractive, and utterly overwhelming. "You might already know, but my Alice is the voice pheromone Alice, and is usually controlled by this restraint piercing so you don't notice. For the organization, I mainly use this Alice for brainwashing." He smiled down at them maliciously, seemingly enjoying his sense of utter control. "What is your Alice?"

Permy flushed a deep red, and Natsume recognised the signs of being influenced by a pheremonal-type Alice, he'd built up something of a slight resistance, but she'd likely never been exposed in the same way.

"I a..huh...predisposition…"

"Permy!" Sakura shouted. "Cover your ears!"

Shit, Polka Dots was decidedly unaffected. He couldn't let Reo notice that, not just for her sake either; a nullification Alice was both rare and useful.

"You can't tell him!"

Natsume fumbled around for a distraction and threw a couple of screws that had been lying on the floor in Reo's direction. The bastard's neck snapped, and the penetrating red-eyed stare honed in on him.

"Well...There was still some strength left to resist. Just now, was that intended to protect these two?"

Natsume's eyes met his, glare to glare: Beast vs. beast. He grit his teeth against the pain, and to bite his tongue.

"Well, as you wish, I'll change targets." Reo knelt down on one knee and grabbed Natsume by his right arm, pulling him up into his face where he would be closer to that voice. Natsume couldn't resist him. He wasn't strong enough. "I was just thinking that it would be preferable to make you harmless with my Alice and pass you over to the Boss."

"Natsume!" He vaguely heard Mikan crying out.

"At any rate, there's no longer any way you lot are going to be able to escape. Those two," he glanced at Shouda and Sakura, "are to be sold." Then he stared back at Natsume intently, smiling maliciously. "You will be welcomed into our organization."

No! He couldn't! He didn't want to! He didn't want to be like them! And Aoi. Aoi! Just shut up! Be quiet! Go away!

...But he was helpless. The voice was getting to him.

"There's nothing good in resisting. Even if you get out of here without harm, you'll be at the Academy, surrounded by the shadow of Big Brother's watch, doing dirty work again. Your specialty, right?"

God, if that wasn't true, and he hated it.

"If that's the case, then what's the difference in joining Z? Z is full of people like you who hate the Academy."

Think of Lucas. Think of Aoi. (It sounds so reasonable…)

"For you, wouldn't that be-"

She needs you. (More than they do; more than anyone.)

Fight it. Fight it. Fight it. (She's helpless).

He couldn't. (You're helpless.)

"STOP IT!" Someone's yell broke through the haze. Natsume fell back on his elbows as Mikan bodily forced herself between him and Reo, pushing the latter away onto the floor, and breaking the contact between them. He didn't know if she was doing it deliberately, but her Alice was shielding him, and slowly liberating his mind. Reo looked gobsmacked. He wasn't the only one she had that effect on then.

"Mr. Reo, this brat…" Someone muttered in the background, and Natsume felt a finger of foreboding ghost down his spine giving him shivers.

"Saying such arrogant things on and on right from the start! Why should Natsume have to go with the likes of you?!"

"Hey, she's…" The mutterings were continuing.

"She listened to all that of Mr. Reo's voice, why is she so unaffected?"

Mikan looked shocked like she realised only now what she'd just done, which confirmed to Natsume that she'd been using her Alice only reflexively and not deliberately. He and Permy were still struggling to come back to their right minds as they wobbled up into a proper sitting position. Damn it. It wasn't that he was ungrateful exactly, although he was loathe to owe her one, but now they were really going to have to act quickly.

Reo stood up shakily from where he'd been sitting on his ass, and asked full Voice,

"Are you a Nullification?"

Well...bugger. Natsume had hoped they wouldn't piece it together so fast, the Alice was unusual, after all...but Naru had recognised it too, and Reo and Naru knew each other, and Jinno and Naru had said there was a Nullification Alice before so...Maybe it wasn't so shocking, even if he didn't know where the pieces all fit. It was like trying to identify a picture that had blurred.

"Huh, what? What are you talking about? I'm…" It was obvious she was lying.

Reo lunged forward and grabbed her by the chin lifting her up to get a closer look. He seemed to be analysing her face; for what was anyone's guess.

"This face," he mumbled to himself almost reverently, "it's not without resemblance to her."

Her? Who was her?

Reo stood abruptly and turned to fire off some more orders. "Hey, look up the data right now, everything from before about ten years ago; I want it all thoroughly brought to light. It looks like it's going to become something interesting. Apart from the 'Black Cat,' this could turn out to be an unimagined bounty." He chuckled again. Oh, they definitely needed to get out of here.

"Oy, Permy." He whispered to the girl who still looked a bit dazed from hearing Reo continue to speak. "Don't faint."

"Na-Natsume, I'm not Permy…" She laughed nervously.

"Right now, the barrier's still weakened. Use your Alice. What's nearby here?"

"Um, wait a sec…"

She focussed using her enhanced cat-dog senses.

"I don't sense any people. To the South, two warehouses? down, I smell a lot of chemicals and explosives. Dynamite…?"

Excellent, that would work, but Reo and his gang wouldn't remain distracted for long.

"You guys."

"Um.."

"Hm?"

"When I give you the sign, with all your might, sprint towards that door." He pointed to the exit on the left: The only unblocked, unguarded exit.

Permy and Polka Dots both looked at him in surprise.

"If you're going to escape, there's only now while they're still distracted."

"Wait, what do you intend to do?"

"Once you've run, don't you dare stop. Whoever can escape without incident needs to tell the Academy our location."

He panted simply getting the sentences out. Either his heart was failing fast, or his bronchitis had reached new heights...or both. Simple fact was, he wasn't getting out of here alive. He knew very well what he had to do, but he wasn't going to tell them that.

"Wait, you...are in no physical state to run." Dammit, why couldn't Polka just listen to him for once? He grit his teeth and spat out.

"You two are in the way! You followed me all the way here of your own accord, and I overwhelmingly want to leave you behind, but oddly enough, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if you got sold, so get ready…

"GO!"

They booked it towards the exit, as the goons fell over themselves in surprise and started shouting wildly. Natsume gathered his remnants of strength and stood up rapidly, leaning against the wall for support.

"DON'T MOVE!" He directed them. "If you move even a bit, I'll set fire to the dynamite nearby. If I do that, won't this place become a sea of fire in a moment?"

Reo stood up and placed a hand on his hip condescendingly. He looked like he was trying desperately to seem in control of a situation that had gotten quickly out of hand.

"Yeah, right. What are you talking about? Like you have the strength to set fire in a warehouse such a distance from here."

"Oh, but I do." He glared at them, ceased to lean against the wall, making sure not to show he felt wobbly on his bare feet, and lit a fire in his palm. "If you want, shall I test it?"

He looked out of the corner of his eye, and the idiot girls were still there.

"Go!"

"Natsume…" Permy mumbled.

"HURRY UP AND GO!" Did they want to die here? Fucking liabilities.

This time they listened: Good.

"Mr. Reo…"

"As soon as you have an opening to them, capture those two with your teleportation."

"Affirmative."

Natsume didn't worry about what he'd made out of that conversation. He knew none of them were getting out. He wasn't getting out, and he was taking them with him, ensuring Shouda and Sakura made it through. He'd wondered when this day would come. He'd often pondered how he would die, or rather, he'd always known the how of it: He'd die by his Alice. The question was whether it would be deliberately, or not. Now he knew. He took an odd sort of strength in the knowledge.

"You are to swear to me, Natsume, if you should get captured by the enemy, and all chances to escape have passed, you will take your own life." That is what Persona had told him when he was nine years old, and he had knelt before him as bidden, like a knight before a lord: a perverted mockery. "If you should give your power to the enemy, and place this Academy in jeopardy, you know what will happen to those people you value, don't you? Don't you, Natsume?"

Yeah, he knew. Besides, he wasn't joining an organisation that dealt in human trafficking anyway. They were all, including him, going knowledge was liberating in the lack of fear of the unknown. He would be in control of this one final thing, because he knew. He didn't have to fight the inevitable on top of everything else. The big moment was here. He just had to face it on his own terms.

"If this continues, it'll be a stalemate forever. Well, it's really just a question of waiting until your strength and will break. Still, even if you used yourself as a shield to help those two escape, it's nothing but a wasted effort. Do you think that we'd let those two escape so easily? Especially that little pig-tailed girl.. I just got in touch with the organization, sooner or later, those two will be caught by our own, and brought right back here. If you start an explosion, it's not guaranteed those two will be okay. In any case, before you turn this place into a 'sea of fire' do you even have a reason to want to go back to a place like that?"

Yeah, his sister. Not that he was telling this bastard anything. Honestly, did he think anyone would choose to live like this, so low and subservient they ate dust? Having your head forced down to drown in a swamp of humiliation? As if there wasn't a boot on his back, and a hand at the back of his head forcing him into filth. Unable to completely protect even one thing properly. Unable to guard even one person you cherish. Neither they, nor the Academy knew anything, anything. They were each just as bad as the other. Damn them all to the deepest pit of hell.

"If you would just come quietly with us, we'll even reconsider the treatment of those two."

He could have laughed but he didn't have it in him. They wanted to take down Kuonji? They sounded like Kuonji! Just do as we tell you, and your friends and family will be safe, yeah right. He couldn't burn Kuonji alive, but he would burn them.

"You said earlier, that sooner or later those two will be caught." He walked towards them lighting little fires around their feet to get them to move backwards in fear. He thrilled at it. Finally, being the one in control, the one in charge, the one calling the shots. Finally, being able to have some semblance of a say in what was going to happen. Finally, not caring that using his Alice was killing him. He was already dead so he could enjoy it: This sensation of power. He stood in front of the door blocking their escape. "By now, they should likely have gotten at least a little bit of distance without being caught. If I ignite now, only we'll get blown up. It'll suffice that this won't be a 'wasted effort.'" He wasn't going to die in vain, and now more than ever, he knew that Lucas would be all right. Lucas wouldn't be alone. What's more, he knew he could trust Lucas not to forget his sister, even to take care of Youichi. Lucas's friendship was his final strength and comfort: knowing he could trust him and that he'd be alright. If Natsume had to die, this was the best way and moment to do it. He breathed in, drew in on his Alice reaching out to detonate-

"STOP!" He turned around to the voice behind him. He could have sworn that was Polka Dots' voice. It barely had time to register, as she tackled him to the floor, the shock doused his flame, and grabbed him by his collar and shook him furiously. "YOU IDIOT! DO YOU WANT TO DIE! WHY ARE YOU SERIOUSLY PLANNING TO START A FIRE! WAKE UP, MORON!" Natsume gazed up at her angry face, and recognised in it the same anger he'd seen in Lucas before, the anger that stems from the fear that you just lost someone important...but he wasn't important, least of all to her, especially to her. He didn't understand. Nothing made sense. He felt like his world was upside down.

"RELAX YOUR MUSCLES!" Reo shouted, and Natsume slumped against Mikan.

"Natsume," she gasped as she caught him wrapping her arm around his shoulder in surprising tenderness and protectiveness. In spite of himself, Natsume felt warmed, almost safe if he couldn't hear Reo's footsteps approaching.

"You fool. Thanks to you coming back, all his efforts just went down the drain."

Reo had hit the nail on the dead. Dammit, why had she done that? He asked her and her response was disarmingly simple.

"Because I was worried about you."

"Idiot." He mumbled, but the insult was less cutting than normal. He was too tired to be angry. He couldn't believe she'd come back. Why in Hell had she been worried about him? Admittedly she didn't know who he was, and what he did or why...but...she knew his reputation, (which was arguably far worse), knew what he'd done to her: Assaulted her, bullied her, mistreated her, what in Hell was there to worry about in him? He was nothing-to her, or pretty much anyone.

She lifted her hand though, the one that rested on his shoulder as his face slumped into the crook of her neck, and ran her fingers through his hair. Natsume closed his eyes unwittingly. When was the last time anyone had touched him tenderly like this? He'd spent so long looking out for everyone else he couldn't even remember. At best Lucas tended to his wounds, shoved him affectionately, but Natsume couldn't remember the last time he'd let anyone this close. He had to be strong, but now he was too weak to be. It felt oddly nice, and he was tired of the fight, so he allowed it: Her fingers through his hair, like someone actually cared, like for a moment he didn't have to be tough as nails. He basked in the moment knowing it could never last forever.

"I can't leave you behind. You're my partner, aren't you?" She whispered into his ear.

Yes, he supposed he was. It wouldn't have meant much to anyone, but to this simple girl he guessed it did. He wished she would go. He didn't want her to die.

"Hey, what are these two runts whispering. Tie them up!" Reo ordered, but his men were on the floor too.

"We can't." They muttered. Reo's command had affected them too.

Sakura grabbed a handful of grit off the floor and threw it into Reo's eyes. He shouted and rubbed his eyes, and Sakura used the momentary distraction to sling Natsume's arm over her shoulder and drag him out. It was time to escape. The moment was over, but Natsume didn't know how he could even move.

He tried. He really did, but whatever moment of peace he had found earlier was long dead, and replaced by intense frustration and desperation. Sakura was huffing and puffing, mumbling under her breath about how heavy he was. She asked him to move faster, but it was all he could do to move his legs. He hated being dead weight, and that really was all he was. Soon it would be literal. Why wouldn't she just go and leave him behind so he could end this on his own terms?! The final straw came when he tripped and they went flying down some stairs into a dead end room with voices coming up quickly behind them.

"Oy, Polka Dots!" He heaved and panted. "Just leave."

"What?"

"If it's just one person, you'll definitely make it out of here." Especially with her Alice, but best not to mention that. "Just run!"

"Huh? What are you talking about? You're still so weak."

Rage flared up in him. How dare she?! He wasn't even sure what bothered him most. That she would call him weak? That she wouldn't leave him behind and he'd be responsible for one more life lost? That she screwed everything up for him in the first place? That he was even minutely touched by all that? All he knew was that he was pissed as all Hell, and she had to get herself out, before he had to live (and die) with that knowledge too. He wasn't worth that. He'd never been worth that. Why couldn't this stupid, idiotic girl do what she was told just once! In the back of his mind, he wondered if Lucas would forgive him if she died here for a hopeless, broken, lost cause. He was a failure and she was making it worse.

"Whatever! Just go, Ugly! Don't make me say it again!"

"How mean! No!"

"Can't you hear me telling you to go, Idiot!"

"Can't you hear me telling you I won't, Moron!"

They were in each other's faces now, and shouting loud enough to draw attention. Fortunately, the latter didn't matter at this point. Natsume drew in a breath to shout at her again, as if the mere volume of his voice would be able to get her to listen to him.

"I didn't think hard about coming back here. I was worried you were going to do something stupid! But it would be absurd to leave now. Lucas-hop, and Hotaru, and Mr. Narumi, and Permy too, we've all been working so hard to get you back."

Natsume stared slack jawed as he listened to her speak. What she was saying was so unexpected it sounded like some foreign language.

"And even if I ignored all that, I still couldn't just leave you behind now could I?...I have no idea how serious your situation is but-"

What did she know? Did she...know the truth of him? No, that wasn't possible. Only Lucas knew that, and he wouldn't have told. She must be talking about something else: His Alice maybe, his health. Oddly, the thought that she didn't know made him feel rather deflated. Maybe a part of him was tired of the secrets. No one knew him.

"Hey, go check under the stairs."

"Oy, do you hear that?" He forced the girl back into the moment, as he gave in to fatigue and lay down. It was all over. He wondered if he'd be choosing between her and Aoi when it came right down to it. It was the worse thought he'd had in as long as he could remember.

"I'll do what I can." She whispered back and went to grab a stick form the corner of the room. "I will go back to school." She said with a determined fire in her eyes. "There's still a lot of things I want to do...I haven't participated in the Alice Festival yet. No matter what we can't be captured by the bad guys! We just need to last long enough for Permy and the others to get help, and find us." Standing in front of him protectively at the foot of the stairs, she turned around, stick held tightly as a weapon in her hands, and stared down at him as if her faith were something tangible that could be transferred to him by force of will. "Shouldn't you do the same? Let's go home together. Back to the Academy."

He stared up at her in stupefied awe. The light from the top of the stairs flooded down on her making her glow in the darkness of the room, giving her the look of some form of guardian spirit. Natsume found himself entranced and unable to look away. She wasn't as simple as he'd thought. She's amazing. The thought crossed his mind before he could censor it.

"Everyone is waiting for us." She concluded and turned back to the staircase to keep her vigil.

Everyone. As if he was special. Would be missed. Would be important. Looking at her stand watch over him. He could almost believe it. He felt like there was a bubble in his chest. It took awhile for him to recognise it as joy, or perhaps it was hope.

Footsteps echoed. Someone was coming down the stairwell.

"Found 'em! Right here. Both of the brats are here!"

Mikan grasped the staff out in front of her and swung it across the head of the first man: The man who had found them. It was a good solid hit. She made to swing at the second guy, but he caught the staff before it could hit him and shoved her back with it, knocking her against the wall. She cried out in pain as her head slammed into the concrete, and she surely had a concussion given the glazed way she was looking at him, trying to speak his name. The man who had hit her grasped Natsume's arm and called out, "Caught 'em." but to Natsume it barely registered. All he could see was some girl who had turned around and come back to him, because she worried, because she cared, because she believed he was worth at least something, in spite of all the horrible things he'd done to her, (and he'd treated her worse than anyone), because she had faith in her friends, their friends, and wanted everyone to live, and live well, because she was innocent. He looked at her brought so low, facing a life of slavery, and his entire body shook at the injustice of it all. He was eight years old again. His sister calling his name. He couldn't protect her. Fire raged everywhere, but he was useless, so useless. He couldn't get her out. How dare they lay a hand on her?!

"HOW DARE YOU!" He raged. He wouldn't let this happen to her. Not again. Never again. It had been a while since he'd been so consumed by passions, he lost control of his Alice, but afterwards he reasoned it didn't matter. She was a Nullification, it wouldn't hurt her. Death was better anyway. He'd lit the dynamite.

The warehouse blew. The dockyard was awash in a sea of fire. Somewhere he thought he heard a voice shouting his name. This time he was dead for sure.

She was worth that much though.

He hadn't even been thinking about Aoi.