Chapter Six

There was a loud knocking on the door that startled us and made us jump. "John, get that girl outta here. We're leavin' soon." It was Marky's voice.

Wow, not even a "good morning". Men these days...John sucked his teeth. "Fuck," he whispered. "Alright, alright, I hear ya." He let go of me and picked up his clothes from the floor. I looked for mine also, which were literally scattered everywhere. I was beginning to feel a tightness in my heart. Johnny was leaving, I'd never see him again. This was it. I felt like killing myself...

After I got dressed, I picked up his black tanktop and gave it to him. "Here you go."

"Thanks." He half-smiled, then took it from me and put it on. "What time is it..."

I looked at my watch. "9:24. What time you guys gotta leave?"

"Probably real soon, like in ten or fifteen minutes. God, I fuckin' hate touring..." He put on his socks and shoes, then sat down on the bed, not saying another word.

The tones in our voices were quieter this morning. Perhaps it was the sadness we both felt. I might have been a bit more sad than he was, but then again, I didn't know. Johnny did have a way of hiding how he was really feeling. If anything, he appeared to be in contemplation, but not really sad. I hoped with everything I had that he felt the pain that I was starting to feel. Did he feel like dying like I did?

In one entire night, my feelings for Johnny morphed from wild, excessive admiration to being madly in love with him. I'd always thought I loved him even before we met, but I definitely knew now that what I felt before was never anything close to loving him. But my heart ached now. It bled terribly with sorrow. This was what love, real true love now did to me. And I hated it. I hated the bittersweet taste that it left on my tongue. It was an ugly, desperate feeling. "Johnny."

He looked up from the bed. "Hm?"

"Listen...you cant forget me, alright? Promise me you wont. I'll never forget you. Never." Ah, shit. I felt my tears welling up. I swallowed them back down. I wasn't going to start bawling in front of him. He already had enough crying from me last night...I needed to be strong. "I'm glad I got to meet you and the rest of the group. You guys are my favorite band, and you always will be-"

"Angela, will ya quit fuckin' around and just tell me what you really wanna say?" His eyes were sincere. He wanted the truth, and I wasn't telling it.

I opened my mouth, but I was interrupted by another loud knocking again. "Johnny, let's go, dude. We gotta get to D.C. by this afternoon. Come on, no more screwin' around."

"Yeah, Monty. I'm comin' okay?"

The unfamiliar voice faded. "Jesus, I don't know why he's takin' so damn long..."

I blurted everything out in that moment. "I wish you didn't have to fucking leave, man! You know how much I need you." I couldn't hold back anymore. Tears ran down my cheeks and I began sniffling. "John, I...I hate that we haven't got to spend that much time together. You know, I'm so attached to you now. It's not fair." I wiped my face. "Ah, whatever, I'm being a big baby. Don't mind me, I'm just being an obsessive slut."

Johnny's face was very serious. "No, no I don't think you are. I think you're just in love, that's all."

My entire body froze and I was covered in shock. I didn't want him to figure that out.

"Do you love me?" he asked.

I gave out a long sigh. "Yeah." I shrugged. "It don't matter, though."

"Yeah it does."

"Why?"

"'Cause I uh..." He pushed some of his long hair back. "I think I might love you."

He must've been lying. Was he serious?

"Ya know, in the short time I've got to meet you and know you, I've just never felt this way with any other girl. You make me feel special, like you care about me, ya know?"

"Do I really?"

He nodded. This was probably the most sincere I've ever seen Johnny be. It was a bit freaky because I wasn't used to it. If only the rest of the guys could see him like this more often... "Yeah, definitely. I promise I'll think of you all the time. I'll miss you alot."

"Me too, John. I guess you wont come back to Baltimore for a while, huh?"

"I honestly have no idea. Maybe I will one day when I have time. But the Ramones are gonna be pretty busy for a while. We're gonna be working on a new album soon, and that's gonna take a while...it's just a lot to deal with."

"I understand. Try to come back when you can, alright?" I grabbed my purse from the floor and fished for a pencil and ripped a piece of paper from a small notepad I carried around with me. Then I wrote down my phone number. "Here. That's for you."

"I'll try to call as often as I can, 'kay?" He took the paper and stuffed it into his pocket. He walked over to the door and opened it. He reached out for my hand and I took it. I really wanted to die...

We walked into the hallway, where managers were busy bringing things into the huge elevator. Joey spotted me and hugged me. "Nice meetin' ya, girl."

I chuckled. "You too, have fun in D.C."

He smiled, then walked into the elevator. Dee Dee walked by me and waved. Marky gave a short nod and smiled. Monty, the tour manager walked in with the rest of them. They faced us. "You comin'?" he asked Johnny.

"Just gimme a minute. I'll be down shortly."

The elevator closed, and it was him and I alone again in the hallway.

"Oh, come here." Johnny grabbed my waist and hugged me tightly. I held onto him. I wished I could have stayed that way forever. "I love you."

Those words took me by surprise. "You mean it?"

"Yes I do. I wont forget you."

For the next several seconds, we kissed passionately. His large, warm hands cupped my face and I held mine onto the sides of his neck. He gave me one final peck on the lips, then pressed the down button for the elevator, and got inside.

I didn't see Johnny for another two years after that...