Redheaded ass. It was a good ass to, small, firm shapely with just enough jiggle. It occurred to Naruto in the early morning sunlight that he was an ass man, and that redheads were incredibly cute. Never mind the fact that he shouldn't be staring or that there was a redhead wearing wearing nothing but her underwear and a T-shirt brushing her teeth in his kitchen.

Wait… this wasn't his kitchen. This wasn't even his house. As he slowly began to wake up Naruto looked around as the events of last night began to set in. There was the table where they had all eaten ramen, cleaned and awaiting the next meal.

His mother had made ramen last night. Wait, he had a mother. His mom was alive and she was the Hokage! How on earth could he have forgotten something like that! And Sasuke was now his step brother, Sakura was asleep on the couch and he had his own bedroom.

Jiraiya was nowhere to be seen, same with Tsunade. They left at some point in the night smiling like idiots. Then who was the redhead brushing her teeth with her buns out for him to see?

"How long are you going to stare at my ass Shot-stack?" Tayuya turned to glare at him, her lips stained with toothpaste. She whipped her toothbrush at him splattering his face with with her spit. "I know I'm probably the hottest girl you've ever seen, but if you keep staring I'm going to have to charge you."

Naruto blinked and cringed away from her spit well after it had hit him in the face. Right Tayuya, the girl that now lived with his mother as her assistant/roommate/glorified baby-sitter. "Why aren't you wearing pants?"

"Cause this is my home and I'm free to not wear pants in my own house." Tayuya wielded her toothbrush like it was a knife. "Anyways shorty, I need to get your mother up and ready for the wonderful privilege that is being the Hokage."

She grabbed his hand, a dangerous sparkle in her brown eyes. "And I finally got me a helper!"

Tayuya dragged him through the still unfamiliar house simple door that had a latch on it to keep it closed. It sounded like there was a bear being kept inside. "Uhh, why's there a lock on my moms bedroom?"

"Well squirt, your mom's a bit off her rocker when it comes to just about everything." Tayuya smiled as she undid the latch exposing just a bit more of her butt - Not that he was looking - as she reached up to undo the latch. "One of the things is that she tends to move a lot in her sleep, so I put a latch here so that her weirdness doesn't extend out into the rest of the house."

Still not quite awake Naruto just nodded, and then understood exactly what Tayuya meant.

It looked like a tornado has rampaged through the room centered around the ceiling fan. The bed frame was bare, stripped of the mattress and covers, and put on its side against the windows. The dresser had been moved to the center with the mattress resting against it, many of the blankets and covers were hanging from the fan.

And in the center of everything, dangling by one foot tangled in blankets while her head still rested on the mattress was Kushina Uzumaki. The Hokage. And his mother.

"How the hell?" Naruto asked as he examined the room. His room was like right next to this one how the hell did he not hear any of this?

Tayuya snorted. "This is nothing, last week before I got the latch I found her cuddling a bear to death in its cave. She said that she ends up sleeping in weird positions when she's not sleeping with anybody."

"So… how do we get her down?"

Tayuya's incredibly practical answer was to throw a kunai at the blanket that held much of Kushina up. It tore in seconds causing Kushina to fall helplessly down the mattress landing in a heap at their feet. Still snoring loudly.

"Grab a foot, we're taking her to the bathroom."

XXXX

Sakura awoke to what sounded like two giant coconuts slaming against each other at terminal velocity, she skipped the groggy steps between sleep and wide awake in a heartbeat. Scrambling upward and tangling herself up in her blanket Sakura prepared for the worse. And then sleep slammed into her right in time for her to lose her balance off of the couch she had been using as a bed and slam into ground.

This was so not her morning. She needed a good fifteen minutes to get her shit together - maybe thirty - especially when she wasn't on a mission or something. And then there was last night. She ended up following the Hokage, that just so happened to be Naruto's actual mother and Sasuke's god mother to her home and ended up eating more ramen than she'd ever want to eat in her life.

"There goes my diet." Sakura pushed herself up off the floor. She hadn't actually been following her diet for a while at least not the starve-herself-into-being-thin diet her and Ino were on. Her diet was more balanced now, focusing on proper nutrition. Still it was good.

Sakura righted herself, doing her best to make herself presentable. She was at the Hokage's house and even if the woman was Naruto's mother she should at least try to look presentable, after all Lady Kushina was officially Sasuke's guardian as well. "And if Ramen is a stable diet for the Hokage then who knows what good nutrition is?"

Seriously, that woman was worse than Lady Tsunade! She didn't look a day over twenty and claimed to be able to eat whatever she wanted and not gain a pound. Wait did she have a crush on Lady Kushina."

"Dammit half-pint watch where you're going." She heard the grumpy voice of the Hokage's Assistant; Tayuya echo through the hall. "And you wake the fuck up!"

"Who are you calling short? I'm taller than you!" That would be Naruto.

Sakura peered around the corner to see a rather unusual sight, the Hokage being carried like a rag doll out of her room by Naruto and Tayuya. Her long hair trailed behind them as Tayuya had the woman by the legs while Naruto was struggling with his mother's torso. "What are you two doing?"

"Sakura!" Naruto waved her over, a smile on his face. "Come help! My mom is heavier than she looks!"

"Why not just wake her up normally?" There was no way that she was going to get on the Hokage's bad side by trying to prank her.

Tayuya grunted and pulled on the leg again taking another step forwards the bathroom. "This is normal Ya'know!" She paused, her face turning sour. "Fuck it's contagious."

"Uhh, okay?" Sakura walked over and grabbed one of Kushina's arms, she really was much heavier than she looked. "Holy crap! Is this what eating ramen does?"

"No, she's just weird." Tayuya grumbled. "Now on a count of three we're going to lift and dump her in the tub."

"How did you do this by yourself?" Naruto asked, Sakura helped him lift his mother's head up off the ground.

Kushina mumbled something about ramen and Minato, a dopey smile on her face complete with a stream of drool. Yep this was so Naruto's mother.

"Rolling her." Tayuya kicked open the door to the bathroom. After a bit of finagling and more than a few head bumps Kushina was placed in the tub. "Apparently Minato used to just teleport her into the bathroom using that weird seal thing. Sounds useful."

"The Flying Thunder God Jutsu?" Sakura asked. Could one of the leaf's most powerful and sought after jutsu really be used for something so trivial? Then again she'd seen Naruto do some pretty lazy things with the Shadow Clone Jutsu. Like doing the dishes.

"That's the one." Tayuya reached over the shower head, aiming it at Kushina. "Now then, I'd leave or cover your ears."

"Wait shouldn't we undress her first?"

"Nah," That was the tone of someone that couldn't care less and was only doing this because they were paid. "Besides, it's more fun this way."

The knobs creaked and the pipes hissed before water came bursting out from the shower head hitting Kushina right in the face. For a moment it appeared to have no effect and Kushina continued to snore.

"Gah! Tayuya what the hell! I told you to use warm water ya'know! Warm!" Kushina flailed in the tub like a fish out of water completely devoid of the grace a Hokage should have. She threw the top half of her body out of the bath, water clung to her hair like morning dew. With a huff she cleared it out of her sights and glared at Tayuya. "Like seriously I told you to find a better way to wake me up!" She changed demeanor, smiling at Naruto "Oh, hi sweetie! Do you want me to make you breakfast?"

"Pfft," Tayuya snorted, "As if I want to haul your fat ass into the tub every morning. And you don't have time to cook breakfast, you have an appointment with the clans in an hour."

"Tayuya!" Kushina slouched in the tub resting her tub against the edge. "I thought I said no meetings before 9. Besides I just got my son back can't I take the day off to spend it with him?"

"It's 9 now! As to how the hell you became Hokage I'll never know, and this meeting is important you can't miss it." Tayuya stomped out the door. "How the fucking hell did I go from minion to fucking running the goddamn village! If I get grey hairs from this I'm kicking your ass!"

Kushina gave a shameless smile that reminded Sakura so much of Naruto. As if she needed more proof. "Sorry sweetie, looks like I'm busy today, I'll make it up to you in no time Ya'know!"

"That's okay. Mom." There was something about the way that Naruto smiled that made Sakura want to run home and tell her mother she loved her. Which being a teenage girl was really weird. "I can still see you after work right?"

"You got it dude!" Kushina smiled. "Now rest up and try to get Sasuke out of his room, I have an exciting mission for you guys if this meeting is a success!"

Oh right! Sasuke! She stayed the night here to help Sasuke adjust. But he locked her out of his room. Saying that all this was crazy and that there was no way that he was going to be Naruto's actual brother.

XXXX

The meeting was a success!

And everything would be taken care of.

"I can't believe they agreed to this." Tayuya grumbled following behind her.

"I know right!" Kushina laughed. "I gave them a pretty good deal though, besides this way we get to secure our relationships with the other villages, show them that we're not afraid by having the Hokage escorted by nothing but a genin team! Ahh I've been looking forward to this vacation."

"You've been in office for a month."

"Details details, besides I'm still doing important stuff Ya'know!" she held up her finger, pretending that Tayuya wasn't there taking notes for her. "Like going to finalize the treaty between Konoha and Suna and accepting Kusa's apology for allowing their part in the attack, see Hokage stuff!"

"Yea, yea, but it's still stupid."

"Hey mom!" Naruto yelled waving his arm at her from the village gates. He was just as excited as she was practically bouncing on his feet. She had hoped that he would have gotten his father's brains at least but a miniature Minato with her personality was just as good. "We're over here!"

"Hey!" Kushina waved back at him breaking out into a half sprint. Kakashi's little team was so cute! Sasuke was standing off the side still pouting about being adopted - It wasn't her fault Napkins were legally binding documents after all - he still got to keep the Uchiha name, she just got to smother him with affection. And Sakura was a cutie as well, she reminded her of Rin so much. And then there was Naruto, her baby boy!

She couldn't take it anymore and sprinted towards them, ignoring the groaning of her assistant. "Are you guys ready for your super special mission?"

"No," Sasuke growled. "Where's Kakashi? Isn't he our team leader?"

Cute! He was a tsundere! "Oh don't worry about Kakashi, he's busy doing other things at the moment. Namely establishing connections with the Mist ya'know! As for your team leader, well considering how Tayuya is the only chunin here that would be her?"

"Oi," Tayuya growled catching up to her. "I thought I was a jounin."

"Does it matter? You're still the team leader."

"I guess that's true," Tayuya adopted one hell of a smile. One that almost made her proud. "Alright brats, as of today you're a part of Team Tayuya! Mission baby sit the Hokage is go!"

"Hey I thought I told you not to call it that!"

AN: Beta'd by xxTerror33xx Who may or may not be die tonight based on tornados and what not. Anyways Here's uhh this... after like a year... I apologize for nothing. Anyways Don't be surprised if I turn Gaara into a girl next chapter for... reasons. Look I like redheads! See you in... hopefully less than a year?

I also have a Ko-fi now if you want to support me. It's Ko-fi dot com / Yojimbra