Vans and Crumpets
A/N: I apologize but I go kind of crazy toward the end of this chapter and the beginning of the next (I started it but it's coming tomorrow-ish) damned single-sex schools! "please don't take me away mommy, I'll be sane, I promise!" *Lews Therin laughs madly around my head* I didn't want to take out the odd parts because it would kinda mess up my train of thought (CHOOOOO----- "ono! the train just ran over an ant! call an ambulance!") so just bear with me, honey, for a minute or two!
So, where we left off our "heroes" (just for the purpose of noting let's list them: Rand, Mat, Perrin, Min, Avhenda, Elaine, Faile Tuon, Richard, Zed, Kahlan, Cara, Frodo, Bilbo, Pippin, Merry, Sam, Zaphoid, Zem, and Arthur) were comfortably packed into the front two rows of a van when they heard a small "meep" spring from behind (boing!). Our characters spotted… "What's a fookin' traffic warden doing in the van?" freed from the piles of pondwater (money used only by the great aunts of planet theta (ahh! angles!) who ironically were the size of small pimples and only used it to buy purple and yellow Lakers caps) all of a sudden, the traffic warden saw… an old man by the bridge between the boot and the front seats (a.k.a. the Bridgewarden!)
TW: AAH! I hate bridgewardens.
BW: You shall not pass unless you answer me these questions five (Voice: three) BW: three.
TW: Speak, Bridgewarden, I am not afraid
BW: What is your name?
TW: Theodore Johnson Caligula Apeus Fredrick Sternum Lucifer Angelicus Joseph Bach-Picasso
All: o_O
BW: Umm, okay, where was I, oh yeah… What is your quest?
TJCAFSLAJB-P: To get out of this (beep)ing piece of (beep) that you (beep)ing (beep) call a (beep)ing van so I can go back to giving people tickets
BW: What is your favorite colour?
TJCAFSLAJB-P: Well, it's kind of a greenish colour, but not exactly. what I do to make it is take some perr…
Richard: AAAAAHHHHH! An artistic Traffic Warden! Knock him out, Cara!
So somebody finally knocked out the Traffic Warden and there was much rejoicing. (*dully*: yey.)
(A/N: I know I promised Lock Stock Parody, that was it. (hah! I'm evile, like the leggo thing.) Also, I just can't resist putting in MPHG stuffies.)
When Cara knocked out the TW. the BW disappeared as well (and there was much rejoicing, yey.) Incedentaly, our "heroes" came across a store which accepted pondwater as a currency and all 20 characters got a Lakers cap, and they bot an extra to send as a present to Shai'tan/the Keeper/Sauron. It turns out Pippin was also able to buy "suspendies and a bra" for some MAASHROOMZE he found in his pocket (A/N: Pippin IS lumberjack! Also, go see borders of mordor stuffies) Zaphoid stole some ballpoint pens, "What's the point of buying them if they keep on slipping into other dimensions!" and then they were off! (ROAD TRIP!!) actually, first they stopped by for Tea and Crumpets at Daniela and Bobby Bob's house (Bobby Bob is my bike) and Frodo, Bilbo, Merry, and Pippin were confused by the Hobbitishness of her brother (A/N (again!): my brother is a hobbit! he just gets really offended when I call him one) and started asking him hobbit-to-hobbit questions as someone named Belaruse (he is Gandalf the Pink's grandmother) popped out of thin air and back into thin air again. Zem was meanwhile enthralled by Daniela's pillows and started petting them (I don't know how a mattress can pet something, it just can!) Mat promptly fell in love with Daniela and we went outside for a minute or two…
Min and Cara became infatuated with Nirvana and System of a Down as they listened to my CDs and Rand, Richard, and Perrin watched Marx Brothers movies. Bilbo and the girls (sans Cara or Min) were actually having tea and crumpets and Tuon choked on a pretzel and had to leave because of the drastic medical emergency involved in such matters. (A/.N: Hey! I needed to find a way to get Mat to myself!) eventually, the poor things had to leave (NUUU! MAT!) and asked me where they should go next to which I replied…
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PLEASE REVIEW AND GIVE IDEAS! =) ~The Flying Cabbage
A/N: I apologize but I go kind of crazy toward the end of this chapter and the beginning of the next (I started it but it's coming tomorrow-ish) damned single-sex schools! "please don't take me away mommy, I'll be sane, I promise!" *Lews Therin laughs madly around my head* I didn't want to take out the odd parts because it would kinda mess up my train of thought (CHOOOOO----- "ono! the train just ran over an ant! call an ambulance!") so just bear with me, honey, for a minute or two!
So, where we left off our "heroes" (just for the purpose of noting let's list them: Rand, Mat, Perrin, Min, Avhenda, Elaine, Faile Tuon, Richard, Zed, Kahlan, Cara, Frodo, Bilbo, Pippin, Merry, Sam, Zaphoid, Zem, and Arthur) were comfortably packed into the front two rows of a van when they heard a small "meep" spring from behind (boing!). Our characters spotted… "What's a fookin' traffic warden doing in the van?" freed from the piles of pondwater (money used only by the great aunts of planet theta (ahh! angles!) who ironically were the size of small pimples and only used it to buy purple and yellow Lakers caps) all of a sudden, the traffic warden saw… an old man by the bridge between the boot and the front seats (a.k.a. the Bridgewarden!)
TW: AAH! I hate bridgewardens.
BW: You shall not pass unless you answer me these questions five (Voice: three) BW: three.
TW: Speak, Bridgewarden, I am not afraid
BW: What is your name?
TW: Theodore Johnson Caligula Apeus Fredrick Sternum Lucifer Angelicus Joseph Bach-Picasso
All: o_O
BW: Umm, okay, where was I, oh yeah… What is your quest?
TJCAFSLAJB-P: To get out of this (beep)ing piece of (beep) that you (beep)ing (beep) call a (beep)ing van so I can go back to giving people tickets
BW: What is your favorite colour?
TJCAFSLAJB-P: Well, it's kind of a greenish colour, but not exactly. what I do to make it is take some perr…
Richard: AAAAAHHHHH! An artistic Traffic Warden! Knock him out, Cara!
So somebody finally knocked out the Traffic Warden and there was much rejoicing. (*dully*: yey.)
(A/N: I know I promised Lock Stock Parody, that was it. (hah! I'm evile, like the leggo thing.) Also, I just can't resist putting in MPHG stuffies.)
When Cara knocked out the TW. the BW disappeared as well (and there was much rejoicing, yey.) Incedentaly, our "heroes" came across a store which accepted pondwater as a currency and all 20 characters got a Lakers cap, and they bot an extra to send as a present to Shai'tan/the Keeper/Sauron. It turns out Pippin was also able to buy "suspendies and a bra" for some MAASHROOMZE he found in his pocket (A/N: Pippin IS lumberjack! Also, go see borders of mordor stuffies) Zaphoid stole some ballpoint pens, "What's the point of buying them if they keep on slipping into other dimensions!" and then they were off! (ROAD TRIP!!) actually, first they stopped by for Tea and Crumpets at Daniela and Bobby Bob's house (Bobby Bob is my bike) and Frodo, Bilbo, Merry, and Pippin were confused by the Hobbitishness of her brother (A/N (again!): my brother is a hobbit! he just gets really offended when I call him one) and started asking him hobbit-to-hobbit questions as someone named Belaruse (he is Gandalf the Pink's grandmother) popped out of thin air and back into thin air again. Zem was meanwhile enthralled by Daniela's pillows and started petting them (I don't know how a mattress can pet something, it just can!) Mat promptly fell in love with Daniela and we went outside for a minute or two…
Min and Cara became infatuated with Nirvana and System of a Down as they listened to my CDs and Rand, Richard, and Perrin watched Marx Brothers movies. Bilbo and the girls (sans Cara or Min) were actually having tea and crumpets and Tuon choked on a pretzel and had to leave because of the drastic medical emergency involved in such matters. (A/.N: Hey! I needed to find a way to get Mat to myself!) eventually, the poor things had to leave (NUUU! MAT!) and asked me where they should go next to which I replied…
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PLEASE REVIEW AND GIVE IDEAS! =) ~The Flying Cabbage