By the time I'd been in work an hour the next day, I wanted the ground to swallow me up. Somehow, I'd managed to forget all about the other people at the club last night. I'd only had eyes for Kerry. God, Kerry...

The ER was quiet, for a change, so I was the day's entertainment. Wherever I turned, there was a wink, a nudge or some crude comment. Most of them had seen me wrapped around that woman, and those who hadn't had been exaggeratingly told about it. Everyone thought we'd left together, and the only thing I could think about was Kerry bloody Weaver. It had seemed like a good idea at the time; I wanted to hurt her, to make her realise...what, exactly, I still didn't know. Now, looking back, I just felt childish and spiteful. Less than 48 hours ago, all I wanted to do was wrap her in my arms. Now I wanted to hurt her at the same time. Psych would have a field day.

There was an hour left before she came in. It was pointless trying to tell everyone that the night had ended on the dance floor; they'd just think I was covering up. She was bound to hear it at some point. I didn't know if I wanted to see her or not. I felt ashamed, so much that I wasn't sure if I could even look at her. I began to realise why I should have left well alone in the first place. I'd humanized the one person who was beyond human in everyone's minds, even her own. I'd taken away her power and, in the end, abused that, just like she was afraid of. It shouldn't have mattered whether she was there in the morning, or whether there would ever be another night. I had been the one that wanted to comfort her; I pushed her into letting me, and then turned on her when I decided that I didn't want her to not want me.

By the time I'd contemplated all this, I could hear her coming in through the doors, yelling at someone along the way. I couldn't get away from the desk in time. It seemed as though she moved in slow motion towards me.

"Abby." And she brushed straight past. Malucci was hanging around by the phone. I knew, just knew.

"Hey Dr. Weaver. You were there last night, right? Abby's *ahem* action? So tell me, do you think she-"

"Doctor Malucci! What my staff get up to in their spare time is none of my business, and certainly none of yours and I would appreciate it if you would spend the time you're getting paid for actually doing the job described, not pumping everyone for useless information...Go!"

She was definitely pissed. And she didn't look at me for the rest of the day.

I crept away to the roof when it got quieter. It was a space I'd found that nobody else seemed to bother with. At least I'd never seen anyone up there before. I stopped dead when I saw the figure leaning on the wall, one leg lifted slightly off the floor. I wanted to turn back, even as my legs carried me towards her. I stopped behind her, not wanting to scare her yet reluctant to face her head on.

"I haven't seen you up here before."

She didn't jump, though I could see her body tensing, as if I'd run ice cold fingers down her spine. I wouldn't have blamed her for telling me to get stuffed; I'd been trying to run away from myself all day.

"I don't come up here often."

At least she'd answered, although it didn't exactly leave room for conversation. I could see her shivering now. She didn't have a coat on, only a thin jumper under her lab coat. She shifted so that her weight was resting on her stronger side again.

"Does it hurt much?" The words were out before I could stop myself. I expected Dr. Weaver mode; an icy glare or cutting comment.

"Sometimes a little more than usual." Kerry voice.

I didn't think, didn't give myself time to. I slipped my hands underneath her lab coat until I found her shoulders. I felt her tense, but as I moved my fingers, kneading her taught muscles, she softened. I worked my way lower, up and down, releasing some of the tension her back held. I assumed it was because of her crutch – her muscles were knotted tighter than a Navy rope. Her whole body straightened and tensed again as one of my hands slid over her hip.

"Abby." I couldn't read her tone. She turned to face me and I made myself meet her eyes. They were glistening.

"I don't want to hurt you, Kerry."

"You weren't."

She averted her eyes then and we both knew what I was trying to discuss. I took her hands in mine. They were so cold, almost blue. I tried to warm them. She let me.

"I didn't take her home, Kerry. I didn't want to dance with her anymore. All I could think about was you."

I heard her gasp slightly, saw her breath exhale quicker. I carried on quickly, my words all a rush.

"I wanted to forget about you, but you were always there. Not just physically, but in my head. Seeing you, knowing that you didn't want to...whatever it is we were doing...it just made me remember, when all I should do is forget."

I hoped she understood because I couldn't really find the words to explain further.

"I am your boss, Abby. You're a med student. This...this can't happen."

I tried to stop myself from visibly deflating.

"But...I...I'm glad you were there."

I nodded.

"But I still have to try and forget."

Her eyes were anywhere but on me. She looked as though she was about to run.

"But I don't want you to forget." Quiet, whispered, unsure. "I stayed watching you last night, because I didn't want you to forget, even though I told myself you had to."

I could feel her leaning towards me. I let go of her hands, waiting to pull her towards me.

Her pager made us both jump. We giggled like school kids, the moment of whatever it was, gone.

I don't want you to forget...

The ensuing trauma – family versus truck – kept us all busy for over an hour, and there was an endless stream of minor injuries waiting, as usual. By the time I clocked off, the only other contact I'd had with Kerry was to pass her an intubation kit.

I stood outside and lit my cigarette, waiting, perhaps, although more hoping and wishing. This time, I was so intent on my worrying that I didn't hear her come to stand beside me. She wouldn't be finishing for another two hours, she said. Long enough for me to reason with myself that it was best all round if I didn't see her personally again. Not because I didn't want to, but because I knew that it was what she was going to tell me anyway. I thought I'd try to make it easy for her.

I met her at her car, and we rode in silence back to her house. It felt so familiar, as if we did it every day, had done since forever.

In her house, she led me straight through to the living room, still wearing our hats, coats and scarves. She was shifting and shuffling. I didn't know what she was thinking, but it was as if she was wary of me, like the first time I'd slipped beneath her mask and had to work so hard to convince her I was real. I cupped her rosy cheeks in my hands, stroking with my thumbs.

"I never want to hurt you, Kerry."

She moved her head and brought her lips to my palm.

"I can't be the person you want me to be, Abby."

I smiled softly and pulled her gently towards me. I pulled her hat and coat off and let them slide to the floor. I buried my face in her hair, planted a kiss on her head.

"If I didn't like the person that you already are, then I wouldn't be here, would I?"

"What going on here between us?" mumbled into my shoulder as she nuzzled her lips against my neck.

"I don't know." I sighed, trying to concentrate as her hands wound under my coat and jumper. "But we've got time to figure it out."

We were slower this time. Sweeter. Kisses seemed more intimate. Her hands trailed over my body, caressing every inch, as if they were memorising every ridge and every response they produced. Every time she touched me, I didn't think I could feel more aroused, until her next touch, and more...more until I thought I would burst.

"Kerry...please." I didn't know what I was begging for; more teasing or release. She slid her fingers inside me, and I had to grab her wrist to still them, stop myself from coming right then. She stayed there for what seemed like a lifetime, pinning me with her eyes. She didn't need to speak; her eyes were translating everything she wanted. She started moving her fingers slowly until my hips were bucking. She moved faster. She shifted, and I let out a loud moan as I felt her wetness grinding into my thigh. The feeling was so erotic that I spread my legs wider, the throbbing becoming almost unbearable. She slid three fingers inside me, shifted so that she could kiss me, the position pushing the palm of her hand full force into my clit. I arched off the bed, all I could hear was blood rushing in my ears. I felt wetness gushing over my thigh, felt her muscles tighten, arching into me, crying out until we ended up sprawled God-knows-where on the bed, both of us panting; muscles jerking; sweat cooling. Smiling.