RichardIII1955 - I've got an even longer chapter today!
Also...it's been a year and a day since I finished A Long Year's Nightmare! Blimey, it seems like only yesterday. I loved writing that. It's probably my favourite out of the Child Swap series. Well, today, the families go quad biking and then visit some Eskimos, or should I say, the Sami people. I don't know much about them, so sorry if I get it wrong or cause offence.
Also, this chapter contains a spoiler from the unpublished final installment of the Child Swap series. It's still in progress, and I don't intend to publish it in the near future, so I suppose it doesn't matter.
All of the families had survived the first night and the first day. The day after Eliseo's birthday, they sat together in the dining hall.
"These sausages are the nicest sausages I have ever had" declared Erin.
"Better than 'Sausage Surprise?'" asked Regina.
"Anything is better than 'Sausage Surprise'" muttered Rosaline to Tybalt, who simply snorted. Rosaline turned back to Didier "Didier, eat your breakfast. Stop making faces out of it"
Didier sulked, but continued to poke at his food.
"So, does anyone know what we're doing today?" asked Mercutio.
"We're going quad-biking through the snow to search for Santa" replied Juliet.
"He's not real" Alexei said loudly.
"Yes, he is!" lied Gabriel.
"That's enough" said Amparo firmly "Tallulah will know when she's old enough to understand"
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Alexei.
"So, Santa isn't real? Is that what you mean?" asked Tallulah, her dark eyes wide.
"Finally" muttered Alexei.
"Of course not!" Angelo lied "Gabe believed in Santa when he was your age. He still does, don't you?"
"Number one," said Gabriel "Don't ever call me Gabe again. Number two, I am a Wiccan, and have been for the past nine or ten years. I don't believe in Santa, but Tallulah has a right to believe in what she chooses"
"Quad-biking" said Rosaline scornfully "I don't suppose I'll be able to do that either, will I?"
"You might, you won't know until you get there" replied Juliet.
"Not quad-biking. No. I'll just have to stand around waiting again this time. What a fun and happy Christmas I'm having"
"Well, the kids seem to like it" said Juliet. Rosaline turned to look Eliseo and Micro, who were happily chatting to Mercutio as they ate breakfast, then at Saffiro and Briony, who seemed very happy, then at Rocco and Vittoria, who were behaving themselves for Allegra, then to Gabriel's kids, who were just settling after their disagreement, and then at her own children and Tybalt.
"Stop breathing on me, Didier!" snapped Erin "Your breath smells!"
"You smell!" Didier shouted back.
"Stop it!" yelled Tybalt "Eat your breakfast!"
"Sure, Juliet, sure" Rosaline raised a thin blonde eyebrow. They were interrupted by a snore from Romeo, as he slept with his head on the table. Rosaline sniffed "Idiot"
"Good morning, my little Puddingers!" shouted Jingle Jill as they boarded the Pudding Bus.
"Good morning" muttered the families. Today, Tybalt and Juliet sat together, and Rosaline and Angelo sat with Erin and Didier. Romeo spread himself out on a double seat and soon fell asleep. Eliseo, Micro and Alexei grabbed the back seats and started messing around.
"She's so annoying" muttered Tybalt to Juliet as Jingle Jill jingled onto the bus.
"Look, here's what we'll do. We'll try and make friends with her" Juliet muttered back "And then she'll stop being so annoying once she drops the overly-enthusiastic holiday rep act"
"Good idea, sweetipops" replied Regina "What shall we do?"
"I'll ask her about her job and be polite" Juliet whispered back. Jingle Jill plonked herself down by Tybalt and Juliet.
"So, do you do this every year?" asked Juliet politely.
"Oh, yeah" replied Jingle Jill.
"You must love it" added Regina
"Oh, yeah, yeah, I love it. I love kids, me" lied Jingle Jill. At the back of the bus, Micro was trying to stand up on the backs of the seats. Tybalt turned around and gawped at him. Jingle Jill turned around and saw him "Oi! Stop that you little shi- cherub!"
Eventually, they made it to the quad-biking area.
"Right, before we begin, can I just say, helmets must be worn, and that if you are pregnant-"
"Told you" muttered Rosaline, stepping back from the bikes.
"All children under twelve must be strapped to the back of a responsible adult's bike!"
"So not you, Mercutio" Tybalt taunted, as Micro went to climb onto the back of Mercutio's bike.
"No arguing!" Lord Capulet barked.
"I've always wanted a motorbike" said Gabriel, clamouring over one.
"I've only ever ridden on the back of these before" said Angelo, sitting on one.
"Oh, try it, you'll love it" Jingle Jill grinned "It's just like riding a bike"
"I haven't done that since I passed my driving test" remarked Angelo.
"Well, give it a go!"
"Ok, well, I suppose I just have to press these and – AAAAAAARGH!" screamed Angelo as the bike shot off. Gabriel shrieked with laughter. Angelo's bike jerked along the stony path, before hitting a tree. Angelo was flung from the bike as it juddered to a halt against the tree. Gabriel stopped laughing, and gulped.
"Granddad's dead!" cried Erin.
"I'm...I'm ok!" groaned Angelo.
Gabriel burst out laughing again "You idiot! Oh my God, you're so behind on the times! You can't even ride a quad bike! I suppose I'll have to get you a Nokia to replace that iPhone of yours for Christmas, make things a bit simpler for you"
"That's not funny!" snapped Rosaline, rushing forwards to help Angelo up.
"I suppose I ought to wait with you" Angelo stood upright.
"He's fine!" said Tybalt.
"Are you kidding? He just survived cancer a few years ago!" snapped Rosaline.
"All right, all right, that'll do. I'm fine" said Angelo. He glared at Gabriel, who was giggling hysterically.
"Granddad!" cried Alexei, rushing to embrace him.
"There, there. I'm ok. Don't worry" said Angelo, stroking his grandson's hair.
Once again, he and Rosaline stood and waited whilst the rest of the families went off quad-biking. Eliseo and Micro whooped with laughter on the back of Hermia and Mercutio's bikes, as they sped ahead of the group. Benvolio trailed at the back, trying not to make it go too fast to avoid a repeat of the husky riding sick incident. Briony didn't seem to mind. At lunchtime, they returned to the hotel for lunch, and then they were going to and meet the locals.
"I don't know why we're bothering to go and meet local people" grumbled Rosaline as they walked back into the hotel "I can see local people any time I want to"
"It might be interesting. They're going to tell us a traditional story and we're going to get to sit in one of their little tent things. I think it sounds fun" replied Juliet.
"Oh, yeah, I like the sound of it" added Mercutio "Wait a minute, where are Eliseo and Micro?"
A snowball hit him squarely on the chest.
"It's ok" said Allegra "They're nearby"
"Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock. Jingle sing and jingle bell stop. Dancing, and prancing, in jingle bell square, in the frosty air!" Jingle Jill howled down the microphone.
"My head" groaned Tybalt "Urgh"
"Does Turkey Tybalt have a headache?" asked Allegra, leaning over.
"I'm not called Turkey Tybalt!"
"Here Tibby, have some paracetemol" said Rosaline, handing over a few tablets.
"Are they drugs?" asked Alexei, peering over.
"No" said Tybalt "They're headache tablets"
"Do you have a headache?" asked Alexei, his blue eyes dancing.
"What do you think?" growled Tybalt.
"Hmm..." said Alexei, his eyes dancing even more wildly "I think it's time to join in with Jingle Jill! JINGLE BELL TIME, IT'S A SWELL TIME, TO GO RIDING IN A ONE HORSE SLEIGH!"
"Alexei, stop singing!" cried Gabriel, clasping his hands to ears "As much as I dearly love you, you have the most terrible singing voice I have ever heard"
"Oh, doesn't take after you then" retorted Tybalt.
"No, Alexei and I are quite dissimilar. I am a danseur noble, and he dances like a drunken father at a wedding after having too much champagne" said Gabriel.
"I'm a good swimmer, though" Alexei added.
"You're a fantastic swimmer. You are my little dolphin" said Gabriel "We can't all be good at the same things"
Tybalt shrugged, and swallowed the paracetemol. The Pudding Bus surged onwards through the snows.
"Look at those funny little huts, Tallulah" said Erin, pointing "Do you think they live in them all year round?"
"I don't know" shrugged Tallulah "Why don't we ask them?"
"Why don't we pull the pegs out of them?" sniggered Eliseo.
"But then the tents will all collapse" said Erin.
"Yes, exactly. And if one of the Eskimos is snoring, then the tent material would go up and down and up and down!" giggled Eliseo, moving his hands up and down to demonstrate. The two girls giggled, and turned to look out of the window again. The bus juddered to a halt, and the families clamoured out.
"Is this it?" Rosaline scowled.
"No, there's a great big underground ice palace" retorted Hermia "Of course this is it!"
"This is rubbish" Rosaline snapped "We've come all this way to sit in tents?"
"No arguing!" barked Lord Capulet "Honestly, you're worse than the kids"
"Well, we've done other stuff" shrugged Tybalt.
"No, Tybalt. You've done other stuff. I've had to stand around like a lemon"
"How do lemons stand, Aunty Rosaline?" asked Alexei.
"Like this" said Micro, sucking his cheeks in and bulging his eyes. Eliseo laughed, and then told his friends his plan to pull out the pegs off the tents.
"Come inside, come inside!" called an Eskimo.
"Hello Mr. Eskimo!" greeted Micro.
"We're not Eskimos, we're the Sami people"
"Oh. Sorry Mr. Sami" said Micro. Eliseo and Alexei giggled.
"Welcome to our home"
"This is so exciting" whispered Juliet to Hermia "Imagine living in one of these! It would be so weird"
"It would make a change from the Manor, wouldn't it, dad?" said Hermia.
"I don't think I could get used to it" admitted Lord Capulet "That place is my childhood home. And I'd miss all my creature comforts"
"It would be fun to try, though, wouldn't it?" said Hermia.
"How would it be fun?" sniffed Rosaline "It smells like a dead cat"
"And I suppose you like going around sniffing dead cats then, don't you?" taunted Hermia. Rosaline rolled her eyes and shook her head, reluctantly paying attention to the man speaking. Mercutio appeared engrossed in what he was saying, sitting still with his eyes fixated.
"Mum" whispered Rocco.
"What is it?" whispered Allegra.
"I think there's something wrong with dad"
"What is it?"
"He's sitting still!"
Allegra snorted with laughter "It's because he's interested, you numpty. He loves going travelling and meeting new people"
Micro leaned over "Can I go travelling when I'm older?"
"You know you can, you little monster"
"Can I take Eliseo and Alexei with me?"
"If Eliseo and Alexei want to go, then yes"
"Bored" muttered Didier.
"We all are" growled Tybalt.
"Can we go home?" asked Erin.
"No!"
"But you said you were bored"
"Yes, I'm bored, but we can't go home" Tybalt hissed at his kids "We have to stay here. It won't be long. Just...tell yourself a story to keep yourself busy"
"About what?"
"Anything!"
"A fire-breathing dragon?"
"Why not?" shrugged Tybalt.
"Stop whispering, you're being really loud!" Juliet muttered.
"The kids are bored!"
"They're kids, it's you I meant!"
"I'm trying to shut them up!"
"Yes, and it's really rude. That man is trying to talk to us about his people and their culture, and Rosaline is complaining she can smell dead cats and you three are talking about fire-breathing dragons?"
"What's this about a fire-breathing dragon?" asked Regina, leaning over.
"Nothing, mum" sighed Tybalt.
Juliet just shook her head, and turned to see Romeo checking his watch.
"What are you doing?"
"Checking my watch. It's getting dark. You know, if we're in here too long, I might miss the Northern Lights"
"Romeo!"