I am so sorry for the delay in updating this story. I am terrible and I know I am. I am just working on so many stories right now and unfortunately, this one got pushed to the background. But I found myself in a random Happy/Emily mood and I had to write them.

This chapter has jumped some time in the show and is between S6 and S7 right now.

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With Jax locked up at the moment, Gemma had been the one to plan the entire funeral and as the small group stood at the graveside, Emily couldn't help but think of how beautiful it was and how Tara would have liked it.

The fresh flowers, the dark wooden casket, the words the priest was saying about an eternal paradise which surely Tara was enjoying right now. It was a small funeral with just the guys from the Redwood charter, Gemma, the boys and herself, Wendy and Lyla present for it. Emily was sure more people at the hospital would have wanted to come and pay their last respects but Gemma had refused to let anyone else come.

Abel hadn't said a word in days and the little boy stood beside his grandma now, his hand clasped tightly in hers. Thomas had been fussy for most of the day as if he knew that his mom was being buried and it seemed like Emily was the only one who could quiet him. She held him now, bouncing him so slightly in her arms, holding him close and thinking of her own mother and how she couldn't imagine burying her right now. They hadn't talked in months and she felt an ache in her chest from longing.

Her eyes lifted to look at Happy as he stood beside her. She had stood beside him at his mother's funeral and he had looked then as he looked now. Completely blank. Almost as if everything inside of himself had been detached from being here right now and if she snapped her fingers in front of his face, he would probably have no idea where he was.

The service ended and everyone began dispersing, Gemma reminding them all that she was having food served at her house.

"Thanks for watching him, baby," Gemma said, appearing in front of Emily, and she plucked the drowsy Thomas from her arms. The baby was too tired to protest, his head finding his grandma's shoulder as he continued drifting off and Gemma walked away, Wendy, now holding Abel's hand following behind.

Emily kept standing there and she looked to Happy again, him still beside her.

Without a word, she reached over and slid her hand down his arm with a light touch, not sure how he would react to it right now. But Happy, still staring at the casket as it waited to be lowered into the ground, grabbed her hand and held onto it almost too tightly. She didn't wince though and she stepped a closer to him, her cheek resting on his arm.

She wasn't quite sure what to say to him. They hadn't been talking to one another a lot lately and she wasn't even entirely sure what they were. It was as if they were in some sort of strange holding pattern with one another. He said she was his old lady and he still came to the apartment to sleep in bed with her but she didn't really feel like he was her boyfriend – which was such a ridiculous title to put to a man like Happy anyway.

She had no idea why she didn't walk away from him or why he didn't walk away from her.

But now certainly wasn't the time to talk about it. Tara was dead. Someone actually murdered her and it was still something that Emily couldn't completely wrap her head around. Gemma had seen some men sneaking into the house but she hadn't really been able to identify any of them and Jax had found her dead on their kitchen floor. Just thinking about it now, Emily felt a fresh batch of tears stinging her eyes.

Who would want to kill Tara? She was so kind – always so kind to her and Emily had considered her a friend since her first day working at St. Thomas. And she being Happy's old lady and Tara being Jax's, Tara had been someone Emily had been able to talk to about things when having any involvement with the club was becoming too overwhelming. Of course, Tara's advice usually was telling her to get the hell away and stay as far from the Sons as she could get and Emily always wondered why Tara stayed with Jax if that was how she felt about the club and being an old lady.

Emily had never been looking to have this be her life. She had never imagined herself being in a relationship with a man like Happy and having ties to a motorcycle gang – she didn't care what Happy said. It was not some innocent club. And she would listen to Tara and think about what it would be like if she left Happy. She didn't think he would fight her on it. Most of the time, he acted like her being around didn't matter that much to him. She had fallen in love with him like an idiot – and she didn't understand how she had done that – but she knew she didn't have much of a future with him. How could she? He wasn't going to marry her or buy a house with her or have children with her. And she loved him but did she really want to have those things with him?

She stared down at Tara's casket. Tara had wanted to get away and in the end, she had.

"Come on," he said and gripped her hand as he turned from the grave and Emily walked beside him as they crossed the grass to where his bike was parked.

She had ridden there with Lyla in her car but Lyla had already left, going to Gemma's and probably knowing that Emily would be leaving with Happy. He climbed onto the bike and she climbed on behind him, taking the helmet he handed her. She clasped it on and once he felt her arms slip around his waist, he started the bike and rumbled out of the cemetery.

She noticed that he wasn't taking them in the direction of Gemma's and she wasn't surprised when he pulled into a parking space in front of the ice cream parlor. Two other bikes were there and walking in, she saw Chibs and Tig were there, Chucky behind the counter, pouring them cups of coffee. Happy held her hand as he walked in and she followed behind. Chibs and Tig stood up from their stools and the three all shared hugs and then Chibs pulled her into a hug, kissing her on the side of the head, a gesture which Tig then mirrored, hugging her a bit tightly.

"Would you like some coffee, m'lady?" Chucky asked her.

"Yes, please," Emily smiled warmly at him like she always did. She then eased herself onto one of the vinyl stools and Tig sat down in his stool beside her. She felt Happy standing behind her and she couldn't help but lean backwards a little, resting against his chest.

"Gonna be headin' to Gemma's?" Chibs asked, sipping at his own cup of coffee.

"In a little bit," Happy nodded. "Just wanted a few seconds to get it clear again."

Chucky placed a cup of steaming coffee down in front of Emily and then handed her the carton of cream, knowing that she always took cream with her coffee, and she gave him a warm smile, which he happily returned with a faint blush on his cheeks.

She knew that most of the women who hung around the club were either nervous or disdainful towards Chucky just because of his hands and his somewhat odd behavior. Emily didn't understand that because in her opinion, he was weird, definitely, but Chucky was one of the nicest guys she had ever met.

"How you doing, princess?" Tig asked her.

She took a small sip of her coffee and nodded. "I'm alright," she answered, which was a bold-faced lie but she couldn't really tell these guys anything else. "I feel so terrible for Thomas and Abel," she couldn't help but admit.

"They'll be alright," Tig was quick to assure her. "They have Jax and Gemma and all of us."

She nodded and took a sip of coffee, keeping her thoughts to herself. Jax loved his sons but he was very absent in their lives, Gemma was downright scary most of the time and as for the rest of them, they couldn't replace a mother.

A cell phone suddenly started ringing its lively tune and she couldn't help but jump a little in surprise. She felt Happy's hand, heavy on her hip as if steadying her, and Chibs answered his phone, stepping away to have the conversation with the person on the other end.

Tig stood up, draining the rest of his cup of coffee. "Gotta take a piss," he announced before heading towards the bathrooms in the back.

Happy slid over and sat down in his vacated stool beside her and Emily instantly turned to face him, his hands sliding to rest on the sides of her thighs.

"I know what you're thinking," she told him bluntly.

Happy didn't say anything; just stared at her with his dark eyes and seemed to be waiting.

"You're thinking that if I stay with you, if we stay together, I'll be stabbed in the head and found dead on the kitchen floor, too," she said.

Happy still didn't speak – not to agree or argue – but she knew. She could see the tiniest twitch in his face as he held his teeth together too tightly. She leaned into him, lifting a hand to his cheek, and she kept her eyes staring into his.

"That's not going to happen," she told him softly.

He let out a soft snort at that. "So sure of that?" He asked.

"Yes," she said with the utmost confidence and even though she couldn't give him reasons as to why it wouldn't happen, it was what she felt.

What happened to Tara was so terrible and terrifying and of course, someone could go after her in retaliation for something the club had done but she looked at Happy and despite everything – despite her brain reminding herself that she really couldn't – she found herself trusting him. She loved him and trusted him because her heart seemed to refuse to listen to her brain despite everything going on around them at the moment.

"With what happened to Tara, things are going to get real bad for a while," he said.

She nodded because even though she didn't know what that meant – and she didn't want to know – she had had a feeling that things would happen. Tara was Jax's wife and Jax was the president. Of course things were going to get bad. She didn't want to think about it though because ever since she had met Happy, things had seemed to be bad and she didn't want to imagine how they could possibly be even worse.

"I know it really doesn't matter to you one way or another," she said quietly. "But I want to be with you, Happy."

And despite wanting to get married and have kids some day, that was some day. This was right now and right now, she loved him. For some reason, she loved him.

He stared at her for a few passing moments without saying a word and she didn't expect him to say anything. Happy would never say anything that had to do with her or feelings or their relationship so when he actually did open his mouth, she almost wanted to fall out of the stool in shock. Happy was actually going to talk like an actual adult to his old lady?

"You think it doesn't matter to me?" He said and his voice was so low, she had to almost lean closer to him because she couldn't hear him that well.

He stared at her and she opened her mouth to respond. Honestly? No, she didn't think it mattered to him and why would she think that it did? He wasn't exactly open with showing her how he felt about her or this thing they had going on between them.

"Hey," Chibs came back to them before Emily could say anything and both she and Happy turned their heads to look at him. "That was Jackie Boy. You and me are goin' to visit him this afternoon and Tig will take Emily to Gemma's," he said.

Happy nodded and looked back to Emily. "See you when I get back," he said and then leaned forward, surprising her when he kissed her in his usual hard manner.

Before she could say anything in return, Happy stood up and he followed Chibs to the back to talk with Tig before they left.

You think it doesn't matter to me? She watched him walk away and she felt the pressure left on her lips from his. Did that mean that it did matter to him? Was she going to get her hopes up and think that she was important to him? She knew she must have been in some form since he did make her his old lady but past that, she didn't have a lot to go on.

Until now.

You think it doesn't matter to me? Maybe it all did.

…

Thank you so much for reading and please review!