*the lights dim to about half light level of previous, and onstage, comes pete puma, pushing a very asleep murray into position behind the podium with a broom along the floor, once in position, a small hatch opens in the top of the podium, after several seconds, a cup of coffee rises out of this small hatch on top of a small mechanical pedestal., a furry paw rises from behind the pedestal grabs the cup of coffee, and takes it back down, several seconds go by, then, theres a sudden explosion of light from behind the podium, and murray shoots to his feet dressed in traditional formal scottish attire, (kilt, jacket, shirt, sporran and all)..
*murray taps the mike, the feedback echoes throughout the theatre*
"*cough*..hehe..umm.sorry..jetlag....."
*the silence in the theatre is truly astounding, a small funeral precession wanders by with the word *comedy* on the coffin in flowers*
".......well, anyway, now im awake, and your all not expecting this to get any worse than it aleady is, i can start."
"Now, backround awards might not sound the most interesting of things, the background, scenery, is just filler..right?...WRONG! without scenery, your reading nothing but the whitterings of newspaper one liner comic artists...not that they aint fun for a one shot quick laugh but you cant drag that out for an entire story an expect people to read it, to truly take you into the world your reading about, to make you feel like your there, to drag all your senses into a tale and you not to know its happening, thats what these few writers have endeavoured to do and that's what were awarding them for today.
*then a large trout with the words *GET ON WITH IT* painted on lands squarely on murrays head, after clambering out from under said huge fish, murray clambers once again to his feet, if, in a rather wobbly fashion*.
"i hate fish...i HATE fish.."
"anyway, as i was SAYING, thats what well be presenting now, background and scenery awards first up for the chop, Best use of the Acme Loo/Acme Acres setting"
*murray then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small pedestal with a ball on it, he places this peculiar object on the ground, pushes a button on it, then steps back, the shell of the ball slides back and out shines a brilliant array of lights, these lights then begin to form an image in the air, the image is a stunning 3d image of acme acres! ..the image seems to take a birds flight view through all the hightpoints of the area, including the loo, the beach, and the green fields in which babs and buster bunnys burrows are situated*
*murray mumbles something about having to thank andy for the equipment, and notices the entire audience enthralled in the image flowing by and pulls a remote from his pocket and freezes the image*
"Now, the entries we had for this were all REALLY good, and they were as follows
===================================
Although long since abandoned, at first glance the place didn't seem to be in that bad a state. Most of the windows appeared to be intact and the black and white floor tiles beneath us weren't visibly cracked or marked. There was no trace of rust on any of the metallic door handles and directly above the main door, an old painting of a well dressed man lay neatly positioned against the white wall. But if you looked more closely however, little signs of abandonment were clearly visible. There were dark, insect strewn cobwebs in all of the corners, patches of creeping dampness upon the walls. Many of the light bulbs were either broken or missing altogether, a water fountain set into the wall between a series of red lockers now covered in an odd, green scum. Besides these little details though, it was hard to believe that there had been no one here in over fifteen years.
-------
The other classroom looked exactly like a painting, a cartoon even. The desks were quite small and neatly arranged, wide windows glowing in the light of a fine summers day.
The floor was tiled and clean, not a trace of dirt of grime.
But strangest of all was the creature that stood before us.
A duck.
Or a loon as she would call herself.
===================================
1:St judes college, and the loo, from ..hiding place?
===================================
I became dimly aware of my surroundings long before I was fully alert. The ground was cold but level, my fingers resting upon what felt like recently polished ceramic floor tiles. Through half opened eyes I could vaguely make out that they were set down in a chessboard pattern of distinct blacks and whites, running towards a nearby wall where a series of red metallic lockers seemed to stretch as far as I could see. A short distance away from me, a drinking fountain was set pretty low down between two of the lockers, a long, high window betraying the fact that it was dark outside. From the flickering nature of the lighting, I made the assumption that the place was lit by candles. There was something wrong, something very wrong. It took me several seconds to work out what it was.
===================================
2:Acme Loo, (Dancers at the Edge of Eternity)
===================================
Lord suddenly began "blipping" the engine as he slowed the Triplane and began a diving turn towards the skyscrapers. He moved the cylinder selector switch to full power again and the engine resumed its usual deafening roar. Soon the aircraft flew closer to the buildings - and at an altitude of only fifty feet!
As they approached the main street, Fifi managed to think ["Shouldn't we be-?!!"]
At that moment, Lord banked hard to the right, throwing the scarlet Triplane on it's side - and flew it straight down the middle of the street between the buildings! The thrilling theme music swept and bounced in their minds. Fifi and Hamton gasped as the three red wings swooshed by the walls of cement and brick with just inches to spare! The monstrous blast of the engine was magnified and they could suddenly see just how fast they were traveling. Fifi and Hamton froze, afraid to move as the airplane roared down the streets. Fifi saw an intersection come up ahead of them and didn't have time to scream, as Lord suddenly banked ninety degrees to the left – right above the stoplights! A timpani boomed in their heads as the plane turned the corner and went straight down the boulevard, as their pilot calmly guided it with exacting precision.
["Aw, look at that!"], thought Boris in disappointment, [" The Woolworth's has gone outta business. Vat a shame! They made such good hot dogs, too."]
Atop a telephone pole, Officer Pooch and a litter of kittens he was attempting to rescue watched the Fokker Triplane zoom right over their heads! As the plane whizzed past, the canine cop was spun around the pole and wound up tying his arms and legs in knots to keep himself from falling.
===================================
3: A Time To Every Purpose Unto Heaven 10 - the flights thru all of Acme Acres
===================================
Frustrated, she decided to go for a walk and marched out the door. She wanted to escape from his presence, so she crossed the darkened street and walked into the city. It was late and very quiet. No cars appeared anywhere as Fifi strode up the main street, thinking.
Did Lord really mean to claim her as his own? He couldn't!...Could he...? He'd always been very nice and acted like a perfect gentleman towards her... but did he want her romantically? Could he want that sort of relationship with his own Granddaughter? Impossible!
A new thought occurred to Fifi and she came to a halt in front of the Acme Arms apartment building.
She *was* having romantic feelings for Lord! Next to Pepe, her mentor - she had been seeing him as the ultimate skunk-hunk. Was she angry at finding her life might have been planned for her - or was she reacting like a jilted lover? All the skunks she'd ever pursued had disappointed her... But ..when they'd danced - it was *he* who'd let go - when she didn't want to. Perhaps she'd been imagining his attraction to her - or was it all an act? He'd had to deceive people for three thousand years with his shape-shifting. He's a spy of some kind in Reality - perhaps he was trying to seduce her for some purpose. It was all too much to think about! Too many questions and too few answers.
As Fifi stood lost in thought, her frustration grew till her scent began to rise strongly. Her tail twitched back and forth in agitation, fanning her fumes toward the building.
===================================
and last but not least 4: Fifi's walk through Acme Acres - A Time To Every Purpose Unto Heaven 9
and the winner is......
*fumbles to open the envelope*
"...i swear..they close these things, they send em to you, but god forbid you try to open th.....ah!..the winner is, FEEFS WALK THROUGH ACME ACRES FROM A Time To Every Purpose Unto Heaven NINE BY yup, yall guessed it PEPE K!"
-Murray Mouse
**************************************************
* Pepe K. crosses back onstage to Murray at the podium*
Pepe K.: Hope we're not keeping you awake, Murrs. ;) Thanks very much fur the award! See? I told ya it's not so hard to be a Host.
* Bugs and Daffy run across the stage, being chased by Taz*
Daffy: AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGH! Sanctuary! Sanctuary!
*dives down the podium's hydraulic lift's trap door*
Bugs:(to the audience) Is there a Doctor in the house?!?
Dr. Jerkyll: (stands up in the 3rd row) I am a doctor, my poor man.
Bugs: (chewing his carrot) Ehhh, What's up, Doc?
*Taz chases him offstage*
Pepe K.: Ya see? Acme Acres has things happening all the time!
*Sylvester chases Tweety across the stage and nearly pounces on him - only to be met by Hippity Hopper (the baby Kangaroo) who kicks and wallops him joyfully with his tail*
Sylvester:(as he flys throught the air) Eggggxthit sssstage lefffft!
Snagglepuss: (in the 15th row) I say! That's my line! Cease and Desist! I'll sue, e-ven!
*Sylvester's flight is suddenly arrested by a solid object - Hector the Bulldog's fist. He twirls the cat by the tail and throws him out into the audience*
Murray: I see what you mean.
*Penelope La Cat runs across the stage, but is met and grabbed by Pepe Le Pew on the opposite side of the stage. He wears a French sailor's beret*
Pepe: Come wiz me, mah leettle Precious Cargo! Let us stow a-way and sheep out togezzer! Ah am your Captain and you shall be mah first Mate....eh, promotions weel follow quickly!
*Pepe carries Penelope away*
Pepe K.: One need not even go looking for conflict. It runs wild here.
Murray: It practically gallops.
*Speedy Gonzales and the Mexican Mice carry the dazed Sylvester back up to the stage and they all scamper away - all but Speedy and Lightning Rodriguez, who remain standing atop the cats's head*
Speedy: Ju see Lighteneeng? Ju weel alwayz be more than a match for any 'ol gato!
Lightning: Si, Senor` eSpeedy!
Speedy: Thee only one more stupeeder than de pussy-gato eez thee loco duck.
Daffy: (leaping out of the hole in the stage he was hiding in) I heard ththat, you wretched rodent! Come back here!
*Daffy chases the mice down the isle*
Pepe K.: The good thing is that any damage done is always fixed within moments. No one gets really hurt in any conflict.
Murray: Well, I hope not! Certain toons seem to enjoy dropping large heavy objects on me.
Pepe K.: Shhhh! Don't give the writer any ideas!
*Hundreds of huge wet, 500 pound tuna fishes start raining on the stage! Murray and Pepe K. are whomped on the head and quickly buried in a massive pile of wiggling live, wet fish! They try to claw their way out, but are soon slipping all over the place on the slippery fish! After flailing about, they both fall off the stage into the orchestra pit - Pepe winds up being mistaken for a kettledrum and his stomach gets bopped repeatedly with kettledrum-sticks. Murray winds up with his rear sticking out of the bell of a tuba*
Charlie the Sunkist Tuna:(Stands up in the 9th row and peers through his sunglasses at the scene)
Well, it may not have been in good taste - but it was sorta funny.
Pepe K.:(dazedly, after trying unsucessfully to stand up)
Thanks for the award, Murray!
Murray: (Still stuck and muffled inside the tuba's mouth)
Yer welcome....I hate fish, I hate fish, I hate fish....
;)
Pepe K.
**************************************************
*climbs out of the instrument and wanders back to the stage*
"AHEM....ooook...now, scenery as we've seen, can increase the quality of a story tenfold, just through its very existance, now, some writers go beyond, this by making the scenery do crazy or unexpected thi...oh nuts..."
*the wooden stage, for no apparent reason other than for the sake of it, transforms into foot deep snow, complete with blizzard, yet it all seems confined to the stage area alone, murray, drops through the snow like a brick, and is now waist deep in a snow drift which was once the podium*
"....crazy or unexpected things...such as this.....the storys from our little band of writers which fit into this category are as follows:
===================================
"BANZAI!!!" shouted Buster as he dove the Cessna directly into the wall of Wackyland!
There was a ripping sound as the propeller blade ripped the elastic barrier to shreds and the plane tore it's way through to freedom. Buster yanked back hard on the stick, pulled out of the dive and up into the beautiful blue skies of Acme Acres again.
Behind them, the eyes of their pursuers grew huge as the fabric of Wackyland collapsed like a leaking balloon on top of them. The titanic thing deflated, sounding like the world's largest whoopie cushion. (Which it is.) The entire world within it came down upon it's inhabitants like a crashing zeppelin!
"Oh, the Inanity!" gasped the Dodo.
===================================
Wackyland collapsing like a giant whoopie-cusion in A Time To Every Purpose Unto Heaven 10
and
===================================
"All right... stand well back, all of you," Reg advised, grabbing hold of the bottom. "Here we go." And with a quick yank, the scenery rolled up as usual, revealing the sight of Purrington Manor once more.
"Oh, my dear, are you back again?" Ambrose smiled. "You're not having much of a vacation, are you?"
"Vacation's over, Amby," she smiled back. "Get your passport. It's moving day!"
"Another toon trick?" he chuckled.
"Something like that, Uncle Amby," Rue said, moving to the farthest west boundary of the grounds, while Reg did the same on the east. (Amby knew enough to take this as his cue to join the others, which he did.) Nodding to each other, they unsheathed their claws, took a running jump at the scenery, landed high above the top of the manor, sunk their claws into the backdrop and slowly slid down, making perfect cuts in the scenery as they did so. "Okay, that's two down," Rue noted. "Now for one across." Taking another running jump, the two black cats landed with precision at their original starting points, this time carefully slicing their way across towards each other with one paw, while making sure to grab on to the scenery with the other. Before everyone's eyes, Purrington Manor fell to the ground like a sheet.
Climbing down the rest of the scenery again, the cats carefully rolled the manor up and maneuvered it to the feet of the waiting Carrottes. All that was left of their handiwork was a vacant lot! Quickly, Reg pulled a "For Sale" sign from behind her back and stuck it in the middle. Then, they joined the rest of the group in Acme Acres. Grabbing the bottom of the backdrop once more, Reg gave it another smart tug, revealing the rest of Acme Acres. And finally, as if waving a bedsheet, she and Rue grabbed the bottom edge of the freshly cut scenery, unrolled it and watched as it stood upright all by itself, exactly where Reg wanted it!
===================================
The Changing scenery, (The Bloomin' Loonies V)
"and the winner iiiiiiiiiiiis .."
"The Changing scenery, from The Bloomin' Loonies part V !"
....anybody got a scarf spare?....
-Murray Mouse
**************************************************
Suddenly the cold and windy terrain is whipped upwards in the classic BL "windowshade" technique. The Incredible Werekitty wraps Murray in a nice warm blanket, and gives him an inquiring look.
"Does this mean I won for Scenery? Just for the scene transitions?" she queried, looking a bit confruzzled at the chilla-dude's rather abrupt delivery.
-The Incredible Werekitty
**************************************************
yup. you won it for just that reason, excuse my rubbish deliveries, im new to this whole presenting thing, told ya all i wasnt a very good public speaker.
Murray Mouse
**************************************************
Whoa. COOL!
-The Incredible Werekitty
**************************************************
*wanders back to the stage after the intermission with a directors cap on his head that simply has 3 letters on it, RTD, and in his usual black jacket and blue jersey attire*
*taps the mic*
"hello?..everyone seated again?....anyone still awake?...*
*pulls an air horn out of his coat and activates it into the mic, the flurry of flying fruit thats returned is best left to the imagination*
"OK!..now the next award is for most well described setting, now due to the fact that my last award presentation was...abrupt apparently, ill explain in full.
now its pretty self explanatory, which makes you feel more like your a part of the story?..being told "fifi and hampton were standing in a large room"...what kind of room...who else is in the room..why are they there...does the room have a nice floral display?..well..maybe not that last one, but you know, the room could be full of live salamanders and you wouldnt know, but if the writers made an active effort to describe the setting "fifi and hampton stood in the centre of a large ball-room, glorious golden drapes hung from the walls and light romantic music played hauntingly from some unknown location in the ceiling, the room was lit entirely by candlelight, it was an extremely romantic setting"
now i know which sounds better, im no writer so excuse me if that sucked, but you get the idea, now this award goes to the best in this category,
now due to the limited availability of props or any comedic material concerning the subject of best described setting, here is a clown being hit with a pie.
*a small penguin marches onstage, plants a pie in murrays face, and waddles off stage in the other direction*
"thankyou.
the nominations are:"
................................................................................................
The world, Dancers on the Edge of Eternity
The lab, (A Time To Every Purpose Unto Heaven XII)
LaFume The world (everything: the Loo, the landscape, etc.)
..................................................................................................
"and the winner is"
*the penguin wanders back onstage, hands murray the envelope, and waddles off again*
*gnaws open the envelope*
"the winner iiiiiiis,
THE WORLD FROM DANCERS ON THE EDGE OF ETERNITY BY SEAN CAMPBELL! COME ON UP SEAN!"
*steps aside from the mic to make way for sean*
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Murray Mouse
**************************************************
**Murray steps back a couple of paces and adjusts his glasses in the shadow of the velvet curtains. He's glad to be out of the burning glare of the theatre spotlights. The crowd falls silent as Sean makes his way quickly towards the stage, the traditional cup of tea seemingly glued to his hand. He removes his hat before taking a hold of the microphone, a loud screech of audio noise as he takes a quick sip of his tea**
"Oh dear. Sorry about that folks... I guess this mic is trying to get away from me before I start talking rubbish" :)
**Sean indicates his cup**
"Infinite capacity cup here... bottomless er sum junk. Bought it off a guy on Ebay for $4.
Apparently there's a party of Victorian explorers lost in there somewhere... no doubt fighting against rubber dinosaurs in some long lost valley. ( With a central lake composed of Earl Grey tea )
They went into the cup in a diving bell around 1899 or so, no word from them since. I'm pretty sure they're okay though, Doug McClure is in charge. In fact, I bet he's probably having a fistfight with a Pterodactyl right now."
**The microphone is seen to visibly move... possibly considering making a break for the fire exit. Seeing this, Sean decides to swiftly get on with the proceedings**
"Well, many thanks to you all for this award. As soon as I get home I'll be putting it in my wardrobe right next to my Fifi shrine ( surrounded by scented candles of course ) and that empty space reserved for Slappy Squirrel's hat."
**Sean pauses... realising that he spoke the last sentence aloud. He's getting odd glances from Andy Fox & Slappy. The microphone quivers again, seriously considering strangling Sean in an effort to save the universe**
"Em.... anyway.... as I was saying, many thanks for the award. Interestingly enough, it was this month last year when I finished the story in question, right before I joined the fanfic list. It's hard to imagine that I've been here for a full year now... how time flies when you're having fun. So many thanks to you all for making these past 12 months so enjoyable :)
And special thanks to Kevin for keeping the whole thing going. May it last many more years."
**Sean removes a white envelope from his pocket**
"Well, since I'm already up here would anyone mind if I tried out my new comedy routine?
No?
**silence from the crowd**
Ok... so here's the joke. There was this chicken and a rabbit right. The chicken says- "
**The microphone has finally had enough and strikes... knocking Sean to the ground with a loud thud.
Murray runs forward to try and calm it, but it rears up like a savage cobra.
"Must destroy the tea drinker," it hisses.
As he retreats, Murray accidentally steps on Sean's cup and cracks it. A mighty river of tea bursts forth, washing the homicidal mic off the stage. It falls into the crowd, hissing again before slithering slowly away.
Sean and Murray are totally soaked with tea, sitting on the stage in a stunned silence as brown liquid drips from their clothes.
"By Jove... we're back!"
Sean and Murray look up to see an antique diving bell lying lob sided against the stage curtain, a group of bearded guys in ragged clothes staring towards the crowd.
Amongst them is Doug McClure... holding a struggling Pterodactyl by the legs**
**************************************************
*after a heavy fight with the terradactyl, sean leaves the stage and murray walks, soaked, burnt with tea, and scarred from the fight, back to the Podium*
"im rapidly losing consiousness due to injury so ill *cough* make this quick, Amusing setting..its what cartoons were created for. To amuse. To make people laugh. To make people giggle so much that they lose their breath. Easy to do on film and in animation, not so easy in writing as you dont have the luxury of props and sight gags, this award goes out to all those that have tried to make us blow milk through our nose with hilarity, all without the aid of so much as a cave painting to look at."
*losing focus now, murray trys to read his script*
The...no..nominations are..
===================================
At that moment, Lord banked hard to the right, throwing the scarlet Triplane on it's side - and flew it straight down the middle of the street between the buildings! The thrilling theme music swept and bounced in their minds. Fifi and Hamton gasped as the three red wings swooshed by the walls of cement and brick with just inches to spare!
===================================
The Flight Through Acme Acres from A Time To Every Purpose Unto Heaven 10
&
===================================
Lord pulled the triplane into a slower climb and into a left turn. The landscape slowly wheeled around beneath them. The clouds and sun were above. Stretched out below was Acme Acres; the city, the forest - they could even see the Looniversity. Lord's helmeted head leaned over to look below at his mansion - taking a sighting. He saw the tiny figure of Arnold.
===================================
The Whole of acme acres from, ..Wow.. A Time To Every Purpose Unto Heaven IX
The winner is...*trys to find his pocket now everythings kinda hazy, and finally locates the envelope*
THE FLIGHT THROUGH *cough* ACME ACRES FROM A Time To Every Purpose Unto Heaven 10! WHEE..LOOK AT THE PRETTY LIGHTS..MEDIC!
*THUD*
*murray, concious but obviously not 100% ok, lies in the middle of the stage as 2 penguins with a stretcher come onto the stage, grab his microphone, place it on the stretcher, and wander offstage again*
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Murray Mouse
**************************************************
A low murmur emits from a few of the audience members as their gaze moves expectantly to the seats of Pepe K. and his party, waiting for the toons to again ascend to the stage. Several quiet moments pass but neither Pepe K. nor any of his party appear.
On the opposite side of the auditorium a small commotion is heard and Andy Fox is seen heading for the stage carrying a large floor broom. He is dressed in his yellow WB tuxedo jacket, blue vest, red bow tie, and hat, and looks very smart. Several times on the way to the stage he pauses, turning to look behind him and whispering harshly to someone: "No! Not now! Sit back down!"
Once on stage, Andy gently sweeps Murray aside with the broom. He then walks up to the podium and scowls at the lack of a microphone. His green eyes flash briefly.
"Okay," he smiled, his voice echoing throughout the room, "I get it--obscure reference to Part I of ATTEPUH where Dr. Lord addresses the assembly at the Looniversity without a microphone. Very funny. This is some sort of omnipotent joke, right? Do I pass the test or shall I play some music in your heads--perhaps William Shatner singing Mr. Tambourine man?"
A resounding groan is heard throughout the entire assembly, but because of his many years of respect in the toon community, the fox is spared being pummeled with projectiles from the audience.
"My thoughts exactly," he agrees. He reaches into his pocket and produces a replacement microphone. After banging it against the floor several times to assure its lifelessness he attaches it to the podium. The audience winces in expectation of the running gag of audio feedback from the microphone as he flicks it on, but only silence is heard.
"Acme brand microphones," he explained. "Only the best for the UKE's."
Andy's stage presence is suddenly interrupted as Slappy and Skippy Squirrel, dressed as paramedics, noisily appear on stage with a gurney. Andy turns briefly to the squirrels and looks crossly at them. The squirrels hoist Murray and his hazy cloud onto the gurney and wheel him off stage.
Andy shrugged and turned back to the audience. "I am here on Pepe K.'s behalf to accept this award in his temporary insanity... I mean indisposure." Andy glances to 4 empty seats in the audience. In the seats are four placeholder cards, reading, respectively: "Gone to A.C.", "Me Too", "Ditto", and "How's your powder?" Andy gave a slight grumble and a small bolt of energy shot from one of his eyes, turning the fourth placeholder card into a small pile of ash. He continued his speech in a somber tone: "Item one: According to FAA guidelines, pilots are to maintain a minimum deck of 500 feet when flying over populated areas, like Acme Acres. Item two..."
From somewhere backstage Slappy voice is heard yelling "Clear!" and an excessively loud electrical zap is heard and flashes of light can be seen from backstage. Several audience members begin chuckling quietly. Andy turns away to snicker slightly himself, then turns back to the audience, resuming his somber tone. "Item two: wearing nothing below the waist, flying without a license, and the willful murder of thirty-seven innocent potato chips *are* serious crimes in Wackyland and Bugs is now wanted by the Wackyland police."
Sounds of a chainsaw and a drill from backstage again disrupt Andy's calm facade as he cracks a smile. A gray hand appears through the folds of the stage curtain and snaps its fingers to get Andy's attention. Andy reaches into his pocket and retrieves a propane torch and pair of welding goggles and hands them to the gray hand while the audience laughs. The gray hand disappears briefly and re-appears empty again, gesturing urgently for something. Andy again forages around in his fur, and places several small items in the gray hand. Apparently satisfied the hand disappears back through the curtain.
From the audience someone calls out: "Hey! What else you got in those pockets?" A wave of laughter sounds from the audience.
Andy ignores the comment and returns to the podium, trying with difficulty to maintain a serious expression while flashes of light and odd sounds and yells continue to emanate from backstage.
"Nothing to worry about, folks," he assured.
"Anesthetic!" Skippy's voice called out, followed by the familiar sound of a mallet whack.
The audience continued to snicker as Andy hopelessly tried to pretend nothing was going on back stage.
"Item three," he continued, trying not to smile. "Arachnophobia is no laughing matter--except when it concerns Dr. Lord, that-is. I can't remember when I laughed so hard as when I read his reaction to Boris. Which leads me to my final item: In ATTEPUH Part 10, Pepe K. has given us a superb example of an amusing cartoon setting, filled with all of the key elements of humor that make it an outstanding piece of work. He takes us, the readers, into the cockpit with Dr. Lord, Hamton, Fifi, and Boris, all the way across town to the beautifully depicted, untamed lunacy of Wackyland. It is a piece of literary work that I am thankful I had the pleasure to read. I know that he appreciates the recognition that you have shown him by giving him this award. And so, it is with great honor... and even greater greed that I accept this award on Pepe's behalf--because he's not getting it!" Andy begins to laugh maniacally as flashes of energy begins to crackle and spark around him. "It's mine! You understand? All mine! Ha-Haha! Ha-haha-haha! Gives me power! Muahaha!" Suddenly Andy snaps back to normal and smiles sheepishly at the audience. "Hehe... mood swing."
A thunderous explosion rocks the stage as smoke begins to billow out from behind the stage curtain. Moments later Slappy and Skippy emerge with a singed but rejuvenated Murray between them. The audience cheers at Murray's return and for the two squirrels, and the three toons wave back to the audience.
"Seriously, folks," concludes the fox, "thank you, from Pepe K and myself."
The audience claps loudly as Andy crosses to Murray. The two shake paws warmly and exchange smiles. Then Andy waves to the audience and exits the stage with Slappy and Skippy.
No toons were harmed in this award acceptance speech.
--
Andy Fox
**************************************************
"wanders to the podium once more"
"..im not sure what scares me more...the healthcare round here..or his smile."
*shudder*
"sharp fangs....anyway, on with the..."
*plucks a screwdriver from his ear, stares at it, and tosses it to the wings where a grey paw catches it*
"...ssshhow......."
*shakes his fur out sending loose screws fluttering out all over the stage*
"...i gotta find me a new health plan.."
"anyway on with the next award, and my final one of the night. now this ones special. not to say that the rest werent but this ones REAL special. Almost every week , theres an argument *somewhere* about this. (between you and me, sean loves this one cuz it means theres an infinite number of feefs out there)"
*a spotlight lances from the ceiling directly to seans table, where hes sitting with what appear to be ..3 other feefs at his table 0.o*
"yup. you guessed it. best alternate tooniverse."
*a new spotlight lances out a beam of subdued pale blue light directed at the left wing of the stage, moira mouse wanders onstage dressed in a stunning black sequinned dress , she gives the audience a passing glance, murray hands her the mic, and bows out to the side and waits quietly*
moira:
(for those uninformed, moira is murrays alternate female self, from an alternate toniverse where the sexes of the list members were totally flipsided)
"many writers and fans alike believe that what happens in the fanfics, sometimes happen in alternate tooniverses, paralell, but not totally like our own, and most of the time, totally unaware of each other, in these other tooniverses, a different decision was made, a different outcome happened, all that can be, has been, you may not have been the same person in another tooniverse, such as the famous acme acres zone, where characters such as our own babs and buster are heinous evil creatures, wheras monty and plucky were the best toons you could hope to meet"
*she hands the mic back to murray*
murray: "now, without further adodoo, the nominations are:
Dancers on the Egde of the Universe
and...
All the fanfics, yup, thats right ALL OF EM
and the winner is....*hands the mic back to moira, along with the gold envelope, the lights dim in the theatre, and the spotlight on moira glows brighter, she clears her throat lightly, and opens the envelope slowly*
moira & murray: "the winner is...ALL THE FANFICS!"
*murray and moira stare at each other for a moment*
murray & moira: "we just told every writer at the same time that they all just won an award.....and were right in the middle of the stage...right on the spot where we hand them out...oh..nuts..um...BYE FOLKS!"
*murray and moira bound into the orchestra pullpit out of the way of the encroaching stage rush*
*peers out of the pullpit*
"i sense a great disturbance in the farce"
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Murray Mouse
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Heh! Great choice there :)
For when you think about it, ALL the fanfics are set in different tooniverses from each other, each seperate from the tv show.
But at the same time kind of the same.
But yet different.
But-
Em... me no feeling well.
-Sean Campbell
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"Oh, Goody!" exclaims Andy Fox as he bounds onto the stage with tongue hanging out and a hungry look in his eyes. "I know which little fuzzy statuette I want!"
He extends an arm in the direction of the orchestra pit. As he raises it back up Murray Mouse floats up out of the pit. The poor chinchilla/mouse looks around in confusion as he floats through the air over towards Andy.
"AAaahh! Fangs!" Murray madly claws at the air in a desperate attempt to evade the fox, but is helpless.
"No," Andy hisses, doing his impression of Kahn from Star Trek II, "No, you can't get away!"
"Eek!" cries the chinchilla/mouse. "Omnipotent predator! Help! 9-1-1! 9-1-1!"
Andy grasps Murray and begins nibbling hungrily (but painlessly) on one of his furry ears. Murray shrieks and faints, going limp in Andy's hands.
"Eeeew!" Andy cringes, dropping the furry body to the stage. "It's broken!"
--
Andy Fox
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*bounds to his feet, spinchanges into the familiar red uniform from startrek 3 and faces andy with a pointed phaser*
"im laughing at the superior intellect"
*fires , covers andys nose with soot, spinchanges into a kilt, and runs off shouting "FREEEDOOOOM!"*
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Murray Mouse
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*Suddenly two twirling blue lights appear above the stage. They address Andy *
Female Voice #1: Andrew!
*Andy drops Murray and walks over to look up at them*
Andy: No! No! You said I could have this planet for my very own.
Deep male Voice #2: What have I told you about eating awards' show hosts? This has gone far enough.
Andy: Oh, but you always stop me when I'm having fun!
Voice #2 : We've told you before.
Voice #1: Time to come in now, Andrew.
Andy:(petulantly) But I don't wanna come in and I won't! I'm an omnipotent being - and I won't listen to ya!
Voice #2: Enough, Andrew - Come along.
Andy: But why?? I didn't do anything wrong! I wuz just playin'!
Voice #2: We said come along!
Andy: But I haven't finished studying my prey yet!
Voice#2: This *not* studying them!
Voice#1: If you cannot take proper care of your pets - you may not have them at all.
Andy: Awww, but I was winning! I was winning!
Voice#2: They're beings, Andrew.
Andy: Awwww, but ya saw!
Voice #1: You'll grow up, Andrew. You'll understand. Now come along.
Andy: Awwww, but you said I could! *You promised!*.......I never have any fun.
Voice #2: Stop that nonsense at once - or you'll not be permitted to make any more planets!
Andy: Aww, but ya saw! I was winning! I woulda won! Honest...
Voices: No, Andrew. No, Andrew.
Andy: I would've! I would! I would! I would!...
*the toonfox fades away to nothingness, leaving Murray completely confused*
Voice #1: Mr. Mouse , we apologize. Please forgive our child - he will be punished. The fault is ours for indulging him....
*The two lights also fade away - leaving a very puzzled Murray*
DL: (appears from the theatre's wings)...I phoned Andy's parents on him.
(he smiles).......
-Pepe K.
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Yeah. And ALL the authors WON! w00t!
-The Incredible Werekitty